Texts From Last Night

[Motown Marvel]

i'm addicted to this site. it's the funniest damn thing i've come across in a while.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

(970): I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
(303): Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.


(205): woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
(1-205): yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started *****in about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....


(508): awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
(1-508): you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.


(847): dude, osama threatened the US again
(1-847): dude. i slept with your sister last night
(847): what?
(1-847) I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news


(216): Where the f*** is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
(440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
(216): Holy s*** r u serious? How?
(440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.

 

[Wiseman]

It'd be funnier if it was real

 

[Darthphere]

Jay Leno approves these jokes.

 

[WompuM]

The first one made me laugh.

 

[ComicChick]

It'd be funnier if it was real

I know someone who has sent in some texts to this site

there's a lot i'd love to quote, but would prolly result in me getting infracted

 

[Alistair]

Actually, this reminds me in a way of bash.org. Now that was some funny stuff...Hehe.


Ali

 

[Majic Walrus]

Usually when drunk messaging I send messages like, "Esmms fop it?" and "**** mew i shoulder b driminf"

 

[Motown Marvel]

It'd be funnier if it was real

they are real, i know people who have submitted some before.

 

[Spidey-Bat]

F My Life is better.

 

[LiveWire777]

(410): Last night he was fi**ering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
(301): Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar.

lmao off i don't think i've ever laughed so hard

 

[SuBe]

I know someone who has sent in some texts to this site

there's a lot i'd love to quote, but would prolly result in me getting infracted

You can PM it to me and I'll check to see if it's Infractable.

 

[ross2287]

(541): I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.

(281): I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
(713): I'm coming over.

(571): I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
(202): Da na na, na na naa

(812): My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my d*ck was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow

 

[ComicChick]

F My Life is better.

i think i like this one better because it has good times and bad times. sometimes FML is just depressing

 

[Motown Marvel]

F my life is pretty damn good though.