Which is why I said it was one man's opinion and not trying to say I have some stranglehold on the truth or something.
But yes... It's a taste thing flick. Having Superman and Supergirl meet up to save a crashing space plane and have light banter while doing it? Absolutely fine for me, hell it's exactly what I would want... Having Kara say "I used to change his diapers"? Stupid and cheesy as all get out for me. Superman arriving at the DEO confident as hell and getting respect from the rank and file members? Awesome sauce. Winn acting like a 13 year old girl meeting Lady Gaga? Poor writing. Let's not even get me started on anything involving Cat Grant, but as someone that read the Byrne run where the Grant character was introduced... Yeah I don't even recognize the character at all but again that wouldn't be a problem if she were consistently presented as an actual three dimensional character and not some lazy caricature. Again, you are right, grating is in the eye of the beholder, I'm just giving my opinion but that's how I see it flick. Interesting too that you say, "Like a live action cartoon". Well... If I wanted to watch a cartoon version of these characters I would do just that, and have, and will in the future. No offense but I tend to fairly or unfairly judge a cartoon version by a different set of standards, and that's pointing out that even judging by those standards I already mentioned that animated fair currently and of the recent past comes off far better.
Look there's something about bringing these characters into three dimensions on our collective flatscreens that makes doing them as a "Live Action Cartoon" as seeming as a disservice. Doing a live action version of these characters in a manner like unto a silver age comic book will always seem off to me.
Is it working for you flick? Great. But let's not pretend that you don't have assumptions as to why it doesn't work for me anymore than I have assumptions about why it works for you or others. It's all opinions after all, even opinions about other's opinions.
And let's get the elephant in the room out in the open. I get that the DCEU films are not your cup of tea but outside of talking about my opinions of others the criticism of these shows has little if anything to do with the current film adaptations. As a comic fan, as a Superman fan ect. I judge these things generally not in comparison to something else but on the merits they themselves display. Thus my harsh opinion of say LOIS AND CLARK, or SMALLVILLE, both which preceded the DCEU and the CW shows. Whether those films existed or not I would still think the writing for Supergirl and it's dialog was atrociously done and that it's tone was forced and, yes, grating to my sensibilities as an adult fan. Which as I have stated many times on the hype isn't about "lightness/darkness/whimsy/gritty" at all but simply excellence of execution which for me means at least solid casting and writing for the characters as I judge it... And as I judge it, the shows (and again... equal opportunity here AoS as well) are found lacking on those very basic elements. The shows could easily have the tone of say, JLU, and I would be fine. That show had tons of lighthearted moments. In fact that's what I find so disappointing about the TV shows. How can a an actual cartoon like JLU be LESS cartoonish than a show like Flash and Supergirl? It's mindboggling to me that such is my opinion, but there it is.
As pointed out before... If this were indeed 1992 and these CW shows and AoS were on TV with the Xena/Hercules shows I would say they were pretty good for their times. But it's not 1992, it's 2016 and I can't help but find them terribly mediocre on their best days and my opinion is that, yeah, they are the bad kind of cheese.