Wouldn't have used Apocalypse at all to be honest. I'd have used him much later down the line. Putting that aside though, here's some things that I saw working better as far as recruitment goes:
1] Storm's gang are caught stealing. We see her claustrophobia as the guys throw her into a box, ready to drag her and her friends away to be dealt with. Storm's hair turns white during the trauma, and though she uses her powers to free her friends, they turn on her when they discover she's a mutant. Apocalypse witnesses her power from afar and tracks her down later. His seduction is much more in depth and personal. He talks to her about being betrayed by the weak, and imprisoned in a "box" by those who feared him.
2] Apocalypse's visit to Caliban's turns violent, and this is where we see Apocalypse's strength for the first time. Storm and Apocalypse fight off a bunch of henchmen. Psylocke puts up a great fight, and an impressed Apocalypse offers her a place on his team. He lures her in with tales of his previous warriors, their honor, skills, and power. He senses she feels under-appreciated and promises the new world will know and respect her. Psylocke kills Caliban and leaves a horseman.
3] The body horror of Angel's recruitment was pretty great. I'd take it further. As before, Angel is drunk and not in the mood when Apocalypse appears to make him an offer. Things escalate further however, Warren begins to take some swings at him. Apocalypse tells Psy and Storm "leave us", and procedes to beat the living hell out of him, taunting the "Angel without wings". Beaten into submission, Warren sobs on the floor. Apocalypse tells him to rise to his feet and be a fighter again, with the stength of a god, he will be an Angel again.