The OFFICIAL: "Confess My Secrets", thread.

[thebat7]

Just fell off the bed laughing. Literally.

Why's that? I didn't mean for it to be funny!

 

[Golgo-13]

I have seriously though about killing this guy who keeping harassing my wife on the job. i followed him home one day (he didn't know who i was, i knew who he was from the description my wife gave me of him) and found out where he lived. i was gonna shoot him in the back of the head, right outside his front door.

I played out this scenerio over and over in my head for a week. When the day i decided to do it finally came around, i followed him on train and bus all the way to his front door as planned, pulled the gun out of my pocket, then started to shake nervously. He was opening his door with his key at the time. Instead of running up and doing the 'deed' i walked right by his house and went home. Instead i convined my wife to file a sexual harassement claim against him, and he was fired shortly there after.

That guy will never know how close he came to loosing his life.

I've never told my wife this, and never will.

I guess it's true what they say 'you have to be a killer at heart to kill, it's not as easy as it looks, i will never forget the feeling i got that stopped me right before i did it. i guess i'm not a killer.

TRUE STORY

 

[Obsidian]

Whoa!

 

[The Lumberjack]

Wow......somebody just made this thread worth reading.

 

[Socrates]

^^ Indeed. Oh yeah, convince me to share and I will.

 

[thebat7]

Well?

 

[The Lumberjack]

Between your anxiety of closed doors and your desires to be hit on by guys, I'd say it's time to open the door and come out of the closet.


j/k

 

[Kessel Day]

i had a crush on Keanu Reeves, but now i'm over it. man, that guy cannot act at all.

 

[Phoney Bone]

Sometimes I go into chat rooms and pretend I'm a girl...just to mess with all the horn-dog guys that are in there.

I've done that before.

I never actually do anything with them. I let them think that, then right before I log off I type, "BTW I'm really a dude."

We're a bunch of sick ****ers.


I also have this incredble fetish for Mermaids.

 

[Herr Logan]

I've wanted to have raunchy, dirty sex with Linda Carter. At the age she was on "Wonder Woman," but also as she is right this moment.

Once a wonder, always a wonder.

*dreams of magic lassos*

 

[Phoney Bone]

Damn right. Linda Carter is still amazingly attractive.


Me and the other guys on my bus enjoy singing "Hit Me Baby One More Time" together.

 

[Kessel Day]

here's something that's not my secret exactly.

when my mom was very little, her dad was killed by a nightwatchman. my brother told me that my great aunt told him that she and her brother murdered that nightwatchman and never were caught.

she was kindof a strange old lady so who knows if it was true; but it still was freaky to say. makes me glad i didn't know her very well.

 

[twylight]

I have a stamp collection that no one knows about.....I'm such a geek

 

[Jehuty]

not really a secret but my friends think its odd that im a 16 year old male and i have never masterbated once.

 

[twylight]

not really a secret but my friends think its odd that im a 16 year old male and i have never masterbated once.

I'm..*clears throat* older than that and I've never been kissed...or any of the "stuff" that follows that...That's it! My Hype secret is out...I know nothing about relationships!
*dooms her ability to post in the "relationship trouble" threads*

 

[Jehuty]

I'm..*clears throat* older than that and I've never been kissed...or any of the "stuff" that follows that...That's it! My Hype secret is out...I know nothing about relationships!
*dooms her ability to post in the "relationship trouble" threads*

Dont sweat it man if i wasnt lucky and met a pretty ****ty girl your confesstion would be mine.

 

[Golgo-13]

One time when i was about 8 year old i crapped my pants in gym class after i was hit in the nuts with a ball while playing baseball. Nobody realized about it. Before anybody got a wiff of the smell, I ran in the locker room while everybody was still out on the field , took my **** stained pants and threw them in the trash. They were my only pair of undies so i walked around school the rest of the day with my jean and no underwear on!

 

[Golgo-13]

Am i the only one with secrets on this board? I'm 29 so i have 'lived' a bit and been through some pretty rotten things..here goes another one...i've got to get this one off my chest..the only other person i've told this is my best friend.

The girl i lost my virginity to( at 17) was 27. she look decent. On a scale of 1-10 she was about a 6. I was young, horny but inexperienced at that age so i just wanted to get one 'lay' under my belt before i hit 18. so we're making out, everything starts getting hot and heavy, and we take each others clothes off. Her clothes are on the floor, besides mine. When we're 'ready' to go for it, i reach over the side of the bed to take some 'protection' out of my pants pocket. As i'm taking it out the wrapper, i peek over at her under wear and get the most unforgettable shock of my life.............low and behold i'm staring at the BIGGEST $H!T stain, i've ever seen in my life! Instantly my sex drive drops to '0'.

I get up and tell her i need to go to the rest room. While in the restroom, im contemplating my options: Leave ..or hit it anyway..shid mark and all.....and like any red blooded man..i hit it anyway!

After that incedent i really looked at women differently. Like most guys, i like to believe that women are clean, and well groomed..that day change my life forever..i had officially become a man..and learned that women have $h!t stains too!

 

[JokerFish]

Oh man thats just too funny!!

HAHA!!!

 

[Herr Logan]

After that incedent i really looked at women differently. Like most guys, i like to believe that women are clean, and well groomed..that day change my life forever..i had officially become a man..and learned that women have $h!t stains too!

Wait... you mean, she had an accident that day, or something else happened? Also, are you sure she wasn't menstruating or something?

I have pretty boring confessions.
Got a ******* or two in a movie theater with my first serious girlfriend back in high school. Had anal sex with her, too, but not at the movies.
Used to actually believe I was Superman when I was five years old.
Wide range, but all boring.

 

[Carcharodon]

Dont sweat it man if i wasnt lucky and met a pretty ****ty girl your confesstion would be mine.

Dude...twylight just referred to herself as, "her." It's a female.

 

[Carcharodon]

Am i the only one with secrets on this board? I'm 29 so i have 'lived' a bit and been through some pretty rotten things..here goes another one...i've got to get this one off my chest..the only other person i've told this is my best friend.

The girl i lost my virginity to( at 17) was 27. she look decent. On a scale of 1-10 she was about a 6. I was young, horny but inexperienced at that age so i just wanted to get one 'lay' under my belt before i hit 18. so we're making out, everything starts getting hot and heavy, and we take each others clothes off. Her clothes are on the floor, besides mine. When we're 'ready' to go for it, i reach over the side of the bed to take some 'protection' out of my pants pocket. As i'm taking it out the wrapper, i peek over at her under wear and get the most unforgettable shock of my life.............low and behold i'm staring at the BIGGEST $H!T stain, i've ever seen in my life! Instantly my sex drive drops to '0'.

I get up and tell her i need to go to the rest room. While in the restroom, im contemplating my options: Leave ..or hit it anyway..shid mark and all.....and like any red blooded man..i hit it anyway!

After that incedent i really looked at women differently. Like most guys, i like to believe that women are clean, and well groomed..that day change my life forever..i had officially become a man..and learned that women have $h!t stains too!

HA! My girlfriend and I have farting contests. It's so tight.

 

[Jehuty]

Dude...twylight just referred to herself as, "her." It's a female.

Oh ****..My bad.

 

[Danger Mouse]

Am i the only one with secrets on this board?

I'd like to think that there's a reason they're called "secrets"...

 

[Birth Defect]

Okay this isn't my secret but i find it funny so i'll type it anyway....

My friend was on a plane to Africa with his Mum and sister sitting EITHER side of him....so that means right next to him. He got horny, thus, he started to *********e, with only a small aeroplane blanket to cover him. He would have gotten away with it, except that they were both awake, his sister was watching a movie, and his mum was reading a magazine.

It was his sister who told me, and she said it was completley obvious what he was doing, and when he came he even made a weird grunting noise. Safe to say she was pretty horrified, but their mother didn't say a word about it.
NOTE: THIS WASN'T ME!!!!

Oh, and i've had sex with another friends mother and sister, but with about a ten month space in between, so it wasn't a threesome. I feel quite/really guilty about it sometimes, but my friend doesn't know, and the mum and sister don't know that i've done both of them either. And God forbid the father ever finds out.....he's hard as nails, literally the opposite to me. If he knew he'd probably rip my heart out and feed it to the dog. And that's not exaggerating.