Default *Re: The Flash*
------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Thanks for the kind words, Conundrum. Don't worry, the breakneck pace
will keep up throughout the story. It is The Flash, after all... we
don't have time to bleed.*
EXT. TRAIN STATION ? MORNING
SUPER: Present Day
WALLY WEST, early-twenties, hipster, slacker type. Kind of guy who
coasts through life on his considerable charm. Bit of a hothead.
Scraggly beard. He's currently hanging out the window of his TRAIN. He
sees a YOUNG BOY on the platform.
WALLY: Pardon me, boy, is this the Pennsylvania station?
BOY: Yeah, yeah, track twenty-nine. Would you like a shoe shine?
Wally shakes his head, a bit confused.
WALLY: No thank you.
INT. TRAIN ? MORNING
Wally sits back down as the train gets under way. Pulls headphones on.
David Bowie's "Major Tom" plays as Wally rests his head against the
window. The train gets underway. Outside, the scenery rushes by...
EXT. DESERT ? DAY
Somewhere in America's heartland. Orange rock and brown sand for as far
as the eye can see. ROLL CREDITS as we zoom through a series of NATURAL
ROCK FORMATIONS, each more majestic than the last. And as we do this,
the rousing FLASH THEME starts. Something epic like the Indiana Jones or
Superman theme, letting us know that for the next two hours, we're going
on one hell of an adventure! We continue cruising. Over fields of corn.
Grassland. Highway, power lines. We come across the mighty GARDNER
RIVER. Take a leisurely turn to follow it. We breeze along its ebbs and
flows until we reach...
THE TWIN CITIES.
Separated by aforementioned river, KEYSTONE CITY and CENTRAL CITY.
Keystone City is very industrial. Think Detroit City on acid. Brick and
mortar. Blue-collar capital of the work. The people are strong
Midwestern stock. On the other side of the river (connected by the VAN
BUREN BRIDGE. Thirty lanes. Makes the Golden Gate Bridge look like
something built with Legos.) is Central City. More flashy. More slick.
Chrome and glass, skyscrapers. An LA/NY wannabe metropolis.
We reach the other side of the cities and see WALLY'S TRAIN.
INT. TRAIN ? DAY
Wally sees a BILLBOARD on the city limits, KEYSTONE CITY ? HOME OF THE
FLASH. He sighs and rolls his eyes.
EXT. KEYSTONE CITY TRAIN STATION ? DAY
Wally gets off the train, holding his suitcases. Waiting for him is
HARTLEY PIPER RATHAWAY, son of the third largest publisher in America.
Wiseass, quirky good looks. Upon seeing Wally's beard, he
self-consciously rubs his own clean-shaven chin.
WALLY: Piper! My brother from another mother!
PIPER: Hey Wally. How was Blue Valley?
WALLY: Well, now there's a teenager girl and some big robot thing
defending the place. (shrugs) You know how it is.
PIPER: Linda's here too...
The look in Wally's eyes leaves no doubt how he feels about her.
PIPER: Dude, why don't you just tell her how you feel about her?
WALLY: Remember the last time that happened? The lies, the tears, the
recriminations... then I turned off Melrose Place and asked her out and
she shot me down and it SUCKED ASS.
PIPER: That was then. This is now. C'mon, everyone can tell you two are
crazy about each other.
WALLY: Crazy's the word alright. She's... Linda! As far as she's
concerned, I'm a sexless shoulder to cry on. I have nothing below the
waist that interests her. Besides, there're plenty of other girls in
line ahead of her.
PIPER: Please. If there's anything I know, it's when someone's in the
closet.
WALLY: What? I told you, I'm not...
PIPER: Not like that, idiot. You think I can't tell how it's ripping
your guts out?
WALLY: Oh, c'mon. Since when do I get choked up over a dame?
PIPER: Sure. Sure. I understand... when you get married, are you
planning on keeping your maiden name?
WALLY: Goddamn it, Pipe! (beat) I'm... I'm not ready to be rejected
again, Piper.
PIPER: Ever considered that maybe she's ready for you?
WALLY: Why? Besides, me and Frances are great to...
His phone rings. He picks it up.
WALLY: Hello? Oh, hey Frances. What? You're breaking up with me over the
phone? Why? IMMATURE!? I am not immature!
He holds the phone out to Piper.
WALLY: Piper, tell her I'm not immature!
PIPER: Hello? Yes, I know. Yeah, he does that here too. I know. No, he
doesn't do the dishes here, either. Yes. Yes. Well, I'm flattered ma'am,
but you're not my type. No. No. Listen, it doesn't matter what your
mother thinks of you, all that matters is what you think of you. Uh-huh.
Uh-huh. Okay. Nice talking to you too. Bye.
WALLY: How long ago did she hang up?
PIPER: 'Bout a minute.
WALLY: Ah, who cares about Frances? Besides, she had one of those nipple
rings...
PIPER: What, a nipple ring is a deal-breaker?
WALLY: No, but it's irritating, y'know? I just have this thing about
piercings. I'll never understand why people feel compelled to stake
hunks of shiny metal through their... HI LINDA, NICE EARRINGS!
LINDA PARK, definitely not your typical big-breasted love interest. In
fact, she might be referred to colloquially as a "brainy chick."
Glasses, very grounded, with a streak of vague self-awareness that makes
her instantly endearing.
LINDA: Wally! You're back!
WALLY: We're not friends anymore. Remember? You signed me up for Womyn's
Studies over the summer? Now I know what heterosexism is and I will
never be able to get it out of my mind.
PIPER: Heterosexism? But that's the best kind!
WALLY: See? He's gay and even he doesn't know what it means.
PIPER: Yeah, well I'm not a very good stereotype. I don't know any
showtunes and David Beckham does nothing for me.
WALLY: So, how was your summer?
LINDA: Great. I got my internship at Waynetech. I tell you, things are
weird in Gotham. There's this guy who dresses like a giant bat and a
scarecrow thing... but I'll tell you about it later. You remember to do
Old Man Allen's paper?
WALLY: Linda, honestly, who assigns homework over the summer? Seriously.
LINDA: Wally, you'll never learn.
WALLY: Look, I'm going to check on it right now. Catch ya later.
EXT. ROOFTOP ? DAY
On top of a DORM, Wally walks past some clotheslines and satellite
dishes to see his set-up, a small CHEMISTRY LAB on an isolated portion
of the rooftop. A plastic tarp lies nearby. Wally checks the chemicals.
Writes down a few observations. Checks the sun's position. Takes a
Polaroid of each chemical and writes down the date on them.
WALLY: You're gonna get me my doctorate, *****es.
INT. DORM ROOM ? DAY
Typical bachelor pad. Wally sits in a beanbag, the phone ringing in his
hands. Someone answers.
WALLY: Linda, hi.
LINDA: (filtered) Wally, how's it going?
WALLY: Great. Checked on my project, everything seems good. Yeah, I just
was wondering if you might wanna get a bite to eat later on...
LINDA: (filtered) Sure, I'd love to.
Wally's face lights up.
LINDA: (filtered) I'll call Piper.
The face? Falls.
LIDNA: (filtered) I know the perfect place...
INT. FLASH MUSEUM ? DAY
CLOSE on Wally's face.
WALLY: What a character Flash was... battling crime and injustice
everywhere. And what a unique weapon he had against the arsenal of
crime. Speed. Supersonic speed! Undreamt-of speed! (beat) It's too bad
he was a hoax.
PULL OUT to reveal he, Piper, and Linda are sitting in the dining area
of the FLASH MUSEUM, a smorgasboard of all things Flash. Piper is toying
with a GORILLA GRODD STUFFED ANIMAL.
In the background is a GIFT SHOP. Framed in the window of it are
cardboard cutouts of the MIRROR MASTER holding his pistol, lined up in
classic "No use, Flash--you'll never... find... the real me... in
time...!" fashion.
Nearby, impersonators of MIRROR MASTER, HEAT WAVE, COMRADE BOOMERANG,
and WEATHER WIZARD conduct "experiments" on refracting light, fire
safety, aerodynamics, and meterology (respectively) for a gaggle of
children.
Elsewhere, an animatronic Flash metes out justice to some zoot-suited
nogoodniks.
LINDA: Jesus, Wally, what is with this pet theory of yours? It's just...
ridiculous.
WALLY: C'mon. A super speedster? Daring battles against supervillains?
GORILLA GRODD? C'mon. It was just a hoax to drum up tourism, like the
Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot.
PIPER: Hey, man, don't knock Gorilla Grodd.
Piper squeezes the stuffed animal.
PREPROGRAMMED VOICE: "Gorilla City will fall before my super-science!
LINDA: Ooh, let me try!
She squeezes it.
PREPROGRAMMED VOICE: "Bah! Let's see how the Flash likes being devolted
into primordial soup!"
WALLY: We're getting off topic. Look at that. The Cosmic Treadmill. A
so-called TIME MACHINE and yet the government isn't trying to
reverse-engineer it at Area 51 or whatever?
LINDA: Only the Flash could use it.
Wally gestures at a replica ROBOT with horns, a pitchfork, and a forked
tail.
WALLY: And what's with El Diablo Robotico?
PIPER: The Devil built a robot.
WALLY: Can anyone else not see how utterly ridiculous this all is?
LINDA: Sometimes life's ridiculous. Like your beard.
WALLY: Hey, this is a very masculine beard.
PIPER: Wally, seriously now, it gives me heartburn just looking at it.
LINDA: You let me shave that thing off, I will have your babies.
WALLY: Alright, but I want virile male heirs. Virile, you hear me!
The WAITRESS, dressed in a sexy low-cut-top-and-skirt version of the
Flash's outfit, arrives with their check.
WAITRESS: Here's your check.
They pay for their meals.
LINDA: Which one of you did I split my Captain Cold Coleslaw with again?
PIPER: That'd be me.
WALLY: You know why they stopped selling Comrade Boomerang-themed meals?
LINDA: Don't encourage him.
PIPER: (ignoring her) Why?
WALLY: Kept coming back.
PIPER: Ugh...
LINDA: Lame, West. Really lame.
WALLY: Then why are you smiling?
They get up to leave, walking out of the Museum. As they do, they pass a
small STAND, almost like a Lovematic Machine. Piper presses a button on
it and a small notecard comes out, ala Trivial Pursuit. They each
collect their cards, like fortune cookies.
PIPER: (reading his card) Hey, did you know "The human nervous system
carries messages from one part of the bost to another at speeds up to
265 miles per hour"?
WALLY: That's nothing. "Flash Fact. Just as a properly-hurled pebble can
skim over the surface of the lake, the Flash, when super-speeding, could
run over water so fast that his feet never even began to sink." Wow.
That should really come in handy.
LINDA: Mine just says "3X2(9YZ)4A."
EXT. STREET ? DAY
Wally, Linda, and Piper step out of the Flash Musem. The entrance is
grand, made of GLASS, at the top of a long flight of stone steps like a
courthouse. The friends descent to the sidewalk.
PIPER: Taxi! Taxi!
WALLY: You've got a problem with hoofing it?
PIPER: I'm in a bit of a hurry.
WALLY: Pipe, you gotta learn to slow down, smell the...
A PURSE SNATCHER runs by them, grabs Linda's purse. Instantly, Wally
runs after him, not thinking about it for an instant.
LINDA: Wally, wait! It's not worth it!
Wally isn't listening. The snatcher looks back. Is quite surprised to
see someone actually keeping up with him. He PUSHES a bystander down.
Wally HURDLES the downed civilian, stays on the snatcher's tail.
Actually catches up with him, grabs him by the shoulder. The snatcher
rockets an elbow back into Wally's nose, spurting out blood. Wally steps
back, dazed. The snatcher procedes to beat the **** out of him, leaving
him lying bloody and half-conscious on the ground. The snatcher, pissed,
pulls a KNIFE.
SNATCHER: This may not have been the biggest mistake of your life but it
certainly is the last.
Suddenly a FOOT comes across his jaw, knocking him into a wall.
Literally out of nowhere. The man, wrapped in a trenchcoat, polishes the
punk off with a sock to the nose. Wally makes a "Where the hell did he
come from?" face as Old Man Allen helps him up.
BARRY: That was brave. Stupid, but brave.
Yes, that's Barry alright. A good forty years older, or thereabouts.
It's hard to tell. He seems like a definite hardass.
WALLY: Professor Allen...
BARRY: Please. We're not in class. You can call me... Mr. Allen. How's
your project coming, Mr. West?
WALLY: Great, great...
BARRY: Researching the effects of sunlight on Mercurous Chloride.
Fascinating subject, Mr. West. Just make sure it lives up to expectations.
He walks off.
BARRY: And you might want to check in on it. I hear there's a storm coming.
WALLY: Yeah, whatever...
Linda and Piper catch up to Wally. Wally hands Linda her purse.
LINDA: Wally, are you okay?
WALLY: (surly) Just leave me alone...
He stalks off.
PIPER: What was that all about?
Next: Lightning Strikes Twice
__________________