http://movies.sky.com/review/dragonball-evolution
After Michael Bay turned a folding plastic toy into an unstoppable summer blockbuster, it was inevitable that movie studios would push other plaything properties into production.
While Transformers translated a fairly silly idea into a couple of hours of dumb high-energy fun,
Dragonball: Evolution is so lazy and cheap in every aspect of its execution that the end result is almost unwatchable.
Following some pre-credits expositionary guff about an ancient war fought between mankind and alien invaders, we meet our pointy-faced hero Goku (Justin Chatwin).
Raised by his grandfather Gohan (Randall Duk Kim), who tutors him in martial arts and the use of a powerful inner force known as Ki, Goku is an orphan of mysterious parentage and a misfit at school.
Gifted on his 18th birthday with a magical object known as a Dragonball, Goku's world is turned upside-down when the evil alien Lord Piccolo (James Marsters) attacks his home searching for it.
Teaming up with sassy science expert Bulma (Emmy Rossum) and eccentric mentor Roshi (Yun Fat), Goku sets out to get his hands on all seven existing Dragonballs and prevent Piccolo from using them to take over the world.
While Dragonball: Evolution's thin premise may work as a Manga comic, videogame or one of the many other products that the franchise has spawned over the years, there's simply not enough substance to the idea to warrant a feature film.
This quickly becomes apparent as the nonsensical plot unfolds, the actors stumbling through scenes so abysmally staged they could have been shot by Ed Wood.
Chatwin in particular reads his lines like a bored teenager who'd rather be hanging out with his mates at McDonald's, while Yun Fat's wild-eyed performance as Roshi seems like the final tragic stage in his transformation from charismatic Hong Kong legend to pitiful Hollywood bit player.
It's rare to find a film that fails on every conceivable level, but Dragonball: Evolution manages it with aplomb.
Not only is the CGI laughable but the martial arts scenes are limp and even the costume design and make-up are iffy, with Marsters trapped in an alien suit that looks like something William Shatner would have tangled with in sixties era-Star Trek.
With GI Joe set to hit cinemas this summer, one can only hope that this isn't the first of a slew of terrible toy-inspired blockbusters, although it's hard to imagine that any of them could be worse than this;
a kids' film so bad it makes the Power Rangers movie look like Schindler's List.
