The Rap Battle Thread

Originally posted by Erik Magnus Lehnsherr
What in God's name happened to this thread?
I'm outie for a day, and the mother****ers dead!
We've got a whole bunch of talentless hacks,
talking about all the ***** they whack.
that's some sick ****, man.
I don't want to hear about your loving-hand.
Keep that **** to yourself when you're dropping lyrics,
last thing I want to hear is how your ****ting bricks.

Some people here slamming on gangster rap.
Mostly because they know they can't do that.
They don't own a gun,
and they damn sure don't get no ****.
It's easy to diss a certain lifestyle,
bunch of ******s pulling 8 Mile!
Whities don't always excel in the rap game,
only one in a million make it to fame.
So kick back behind your keyboard,
and listen to the **** that gets me a reward.
**** the Oscars, **** the Grammies,
The only thing I won't **** is trannies.
And don't forget men,
add them to the list, then.
I'm not down with members of the same sex.
I break their necks like Spinosaur did T. REX.

Bust down your door,
y'all hit the floor.
My bullets whiz over your head,
break apart the walls of your pad.
Your **** is filled with my hot lead,
Numbers to my body count, I will add.
I ride with AKs and grenades,
shorty *****es and hand-maids.
My crews an underground army,
nobody can get close enough to harm me.

E to the rizzo, Lehn to the Shizzo,
your ass is filled with a mother****ing *****!
You're the type of fool who drives by with a paintball gun,
thinking our lives are over, done.
But I've got news for you, son.
You aren't the poser that won.
I'll roll up and bust a cap in your hiney!
Did I mention that your wang was tiny?
You ain't got nothing there,
'cept for a patch of curly pubic hair!


My rhyme about strokin' my cock was joke. Although, like every other guy, I do jack my pole. It just wasn't a serious attempt at a rhyme.
Anyway, I don't get why people think your some great freestyler. Dude. You suck. Sorry Brah. It's true.
When I'm not so tired, I'll bust out a freestyle that's better than anything these boards have ever seen.
 
okay guys...here you go...the greatest rhyme's you guys have EVER seen...this is gonna kick the s**t outta 2Pac or Dr. Dre or whoever...ready...here ya go...get ready to be amazed!









































rap sucks






that s**t was whack wasnt it? Oh yeah boooooiiiy!!!
 
ok...heres the real one...


yo ya'll can suck my d*ck!
suck my d*ck!
oh yeah suck my d*ck!
ya'll my bi*ches...I own yo asses like Ron Jeremy!
ya'll think ya got rhymes...but hell no ya dont!
I s**t on yo face and call yo mama a ****face!
then i take yo dog...and f**k it in the ass
f**k it in the ass! f**k it in tha ass!
yeah...ya'll like that s**t dont ya...
bring yo fatass mama over here so I can bust one in her eye
bust one in her eye...bust one in her eye...
oh yeah mama...whip that big mutha out
you know what to do...suck on my balls
suck on my balls...suck on my balls...
here it comes here it comes...
oh yeah all over yo mamas face!
eat that s**t...eat that s**t!
oh yeah...

BOOYAH! YOU MY B*TCH!
 
Originally posted by Ol' Horn-Head
I don't like any of them:

White Stripes:Talented, but they charge far too much for concerts. Also, they sound like a-holes in interviews.

Radiohead:Formerly great band, became a good electronica band, then decided against anything even remotely near commercialism. They are a bunch of wank.

Weezer:uhhhhh nah, the're alright. Bit uplifting for my tastes.

See that Mr White? I'm making fun of somehting precious to you. You notice how you have not justified being here? Thats because you can't. You listen to Punk like NOFX and The Dead Kennedys? Well you're sounding like "The Man". So, stop posting in this thread. I've said my piece against you and justified my viewpoint to an acceptable extent.

If you'd excuse me, i've got some rhyming to do.


Yes the White Stripes do sound like a-holes in interviews, that's their thing.
You're really not making fun of it, just stating what you think. I'm not offended, if that's the best you can do, well I guess I have to say sorry, I didnt know you couldnt hold up in an argument.
 
Originally posted by Mr.White
Yes the White Stripes do sound like a-holes in interviews, that's their thing.
You're really not making fun of it, just stating what you think. I'm not offended, if that's the best you can do, well I guess I have to say sorry, I didnt know you couldnt hold up in an argument.

I didn't exactly try to offend you. I'm not going to because I would have to know you, otherwise we'd be going back and forth until I know exactly who you are and how I can offend you. I can argue with you all day about this and I believe i've been winning from the start. See I have put up an arguement, that you have not particuarly responded too. I thought I was facing someone with a bit of life experience, but it turns out you're younger than me. I thought you were some ignorant wank probably about thirty, who didn't like change so he made fun of other people's tastes. Seems that you're just some kid. 1 year younger than myself, but some kid, attempting to be a musical poser.

I am a musical poser. I have covered the diverse genres in my 19 years on this planet, and I don't try to discriminate and the last thing I want to do is go into someones thread about a genre of music that you seemingly have no idea about and kick up a fuss. As a true musical poser, I wouldn't give the time of day to make fun of a musical style I didn't like unless I had explored the style to at least some degree AND if I did, I wouldn't try to show my sheer ignorance by giving a response like "Because its fun to make fun of it"(which isn't even gramatically correct, you arse).

Have you read the last 21 pages? You're not even being original. There have been several idiots who have made the "white people trying to be black" statements and who have got the message and left because no one cares. I only joined the thread at page 17, when those idiots have left. Now a f**ktard like yourself comes in, without even reading the thread and makes his idiotic statement, which is immediately shot down as no one cared. That is except for me. I care about the hip hop genre being targeted by people who can't handle that people like it.

Get lost from our thread. You've lost.

BTW, Your justification for being in the thread was worse than Spidey_Freak's. If thats an insult, I don't know what is.
 
Originally posted by Assassin32
You think your Ali, but your more like Foreman
Cause I'll rope-a-dope your ass and leave the microphone smokin'
Yeah, you the latest, but quite far from the greatest
Grand Master my ass, your lyrics are quickly fadin'

And I seen the look on your face when the venom glistened off my gums
And you knew what was to come when it rolled off my tongue
500 hundred tons of lyrical funk
Delivered to your door with my cocky spunk
So don't test me, dog, cause I've been there and done that
Been around the block, and the world, only to come back
And stand tall, strapped, letting you know who's the Mack

So, as a fair warning to you and your crew
Any fool tryin' to abuse gets fitted for cement shoes
Thrown into the ocean, 6 hours past noon
You'll be left for dead, sleeping with fishes and your goons
See you soon.......

You think you're an assassin
but you're really just a$$ A$$sin'
Sitting alone in your room
trying to kill bats while raiding a tomb
on your playstation, the time you're wastin
stay out of this thread and go off masterbatin'

Your lyrical spunk
doesn't compare to my lyrical funk
i'll beat you over the head and put you in the trunk
of my car and tell someone theres a punk in my trunk
who tried to best me,
who tried to lyrically molest me
but who now needs hospital rest because of me
Because he couldn't compare as I lyrically mauled him like a bear
and tore his weak rhymes form ear to ear.

My lyrical grenades will shatter your spine
when you're done healing, you can get in a line
With all the other chumps who can't write a rhyme
When they get to me, it will only take time
Five seconds to be exact
when my rhymes prove that the're whack
You're wasting time trying to beat me and you'll never get it back

Your rhymes are so light, f**k cement shoes
I'll tie a balloon to your legs and throw you in a pool
watch you and you're weak rhymes sink
and with my tight rhymes I don't even have to think,
I just say that first thing that comes to mind
With me, theres a close encounter, and I mean the third kind,
Not that you b**ch, no i'm not like that
take your weak lines and wipe them with TP, cos the're crap.
 
Originally posted by LuxAeterna
Allow me to get involved
push backs and balls to the wall
as I'm about to lay down some s**t that will mess with you
use you, vamoose, b!tch I'm thru with you

Some of you come to the game thuggin knowing nothing
about the real thug life and death that got us dying everyday for nothing.

Some of you think you know the life, the dark, the hate, the fight,
but in reality if you saw this s**t, you'd flee in fright

So don't think you fake a** punks can intimidate me
cause I've run with thugs, lived the life, already seen everything
but Christ. And if you wanna box me, fight me, flow against me, don't even bother, player. I'm original deadly.

Oh great, this sucka tries to get involved
I thought since I showed up the rap game had evolved
This b**ch comes along to "mess with" me
and I'm not letting him get the best of me
I'll put his phony a$$ rhymes to rest
even if hes armed with an AK and a bullet proof vest.

I'll hop in my hum-vee armed only wit a knife
go into his crib and hold it up to his wife
He'll give up his guns and cry all night
and this sucka said he wanted a fight.
Lyrically, I'm like Tony Montana on Speed
while this guys like Keanu Reeves on weed
See, I'm ruthless and violent, a damn good blend
I'll be like Tony when you'll say hello to my little friend
and I don't mean my d**k, you mother f**kin prick
I mean my m-16 which will shoot you to bits
Put 100 holes in you, and don't think i'm done
i'll reload, put 32 more in you then run,
Go to trial and get off scott free
my rhymes are so contagious
its like a flesh eating disease.

He's run "with thugs"? more like run away from thugs
Probably too afraid to get hit with slugs
from my gun, this bum
is all talk until I show up, then hes done

If you wana survive real dread
come along to the official rap battle thread
face some real players like me, assassin, cat and EML
that is if you're not too scared of hell
 
All my freestyles are nods to old school sex/pimp rap. People like 2 Live Crew, Too Short, and even some of the older Geto Boys and Ice-T shyt. I'm taking it to the next level, though.




I strolled up in the brothel lookin' for a ****

I quicky found the one that I wanted to fu/ck

She started out slow with a nice cock suck

She had a sweet ass piece a poon

I stuck my fist up in along with a broom

Her ***** was huge..

..enough room to fill it with gallon of spooge

She grab my cock and started jackin'

Her hand started to pick up pace

that's when my nut shot out right in her face

You think I was done?

Hell no...far from it son

The facial was still drippin..

..when I decided to give her I nice ass dickin

I banged and banged until she cried "please stop"

I pulled out the dick and *** blew out the top

The **** glazed up and down her back.

she turned around and tried to give me some flak

talkin' about how the session was over

I said bit/ch please

Get the fu/ck back down on you knees.

You see I had to take a shyt

so I let the dump rain right down on her ****

Now it was over cause I said it was

I said take a twenty you dirty scuzz

She said hey where you goin'

That'll be a G for the ass fu/ck, dump, and blowin'

I said no I don't think so

I pulled the nine and let a few rounds go

Her face exploded as her brains flew out

I had to laugh...she was dead no doubt.

Well that was my weekend fun

Too bad it has a ***** straight up on the run.




I'd like to thank 2 Live Crew and Geto Boys for the inspiration
on that rhyme. The style of rhyme this is a slower one. Similar to how geto Boys rapped "Gangter of Love".


'
 
Umm...I think T / Bones is on the fast track to the "Banned" graveyard :D
 
Why's that?

It's rap song. It's not intended to be taken seriously. Other people rap about messed up stuff. Most of mine was about sex. I think sex is nothing compared to violence. A lot of people on here rap about violence constantly, yet it's cool??? Something is wrong with that picture. I'm not surprised, though. All these message boards are just a microcosm of our society. The society where sex is bad and violence is good. I know I added some violence in on the end there, but that was just a few lines. Other raps on this board are violent top to bottom.
Whatever. Be hypocrites. Watch movies like Pulp Fiction all the time, and then bash me for my rap. Listen to Eminem and 50 cent's worst songs, and then bash me for my rap. Please. It's foolish.
 
Originally posted by T/bones
Why's that?

It's rap song. It's not intended to be taken seriously. Other people rap about messed up stuff. Most of mine was about sex. I think sex is nothing compared to violence. A lot of people on here rap about violence constantly, yet it's cool??? Something is wrong with that picture. I'm not surprised, though. All these message boards are just a microcosm of our society. The society where sex is bad and violence is good. I know I added some violence in on the end there, but that was just a few lines. Other raps on this board are violent top to bottom.
Whatever. Be hypocrites. Watch movies like Pulp Fiction all the time, and then bash me for my rap. Listen to Eminem and 50 cent's worst songs, and then bash me for my rap. Please. It's foolish.

Listen, Wig, my point is, your language is graphic as hell as is your imagery. You can sneak the language by the Mods a bit but sooner rather than later they're gonna put an end to it. Just the littlest bit of sublety goes a loooong way around here.

And we're not debating sex vs. violence here. I will however bash you for your rap all I want. Rap is complete, idiotic, street thug bulls**t. :D
 
I don't even like rap. I'm not a wig. I'm a honkey to the core there slipstream. The freestyle thing I made was poking fun at the others who take rap so serious. I figured you'd notice that. RAP IS THE WORST!!!!
 
Originally posted by T/bones
I don't even like rap. I'm not a wig. I'm a honkey to the core there slipstream. The freestyle thing I made was poking fun at the others who take rap so serious. I figured you'd notice that. RAP IS THE WORST!!!!

Well, that's different then :D

You can join my club...just watch your fu*king language :D
 
Yeah. I'll try to tone down the cock sucking Fu*king language. It won't be Fu*king easy, but I'm Fu*king game. I'll give it a shot. :D
 
Originally posted by KniteYxSpydeY
Ooo! I have a suggestion
Instead of a rhyming couplet scheme, someone try to do it every other line, or even not at all, or even getting words nobody thought sounded alike to rhyme
That would hella improve your spits

I do every other line alot, if you read it.


Bling Bling!
*****es and Hoes!
City-wide killing,
smoking rolls!
Semi-automatic guns and gats,
selling drugs on street corners,
popping caps.
Bringing whole crews, not being loners.
This is the type of **** ya'll got stuck in your head.
It's racing through your pea-brain.
You're jawing about your non-existant girlfriend,
and how your lead falls like rain.

So let me flip your ****,
take you on a trip.
Rip your ****,
and deliver a hit.
I'll take what you give me,
rewind and edit.
It'll be something new, G.
Just let me delete and rewrite it.
Your lyrics are the crap, the crappiest rap.
I got bored and tap a pencil.
Tap Tap Tap.
You're mouth must be rental.
It's not new, and and it sure ain't old.
And the last thing it is, is bold.
You're all taking the same stuff and recycling it.
Throwing it up in the air,
And I'm just spiking it.
I'm sending it back to the turf,
back to the dirt.
It isn't even worth my Ecko-shirt,
so don't be hurt.

I've got people telling me
"You know how to rap"
And then I've got haters dissing me
"Your rap is crap."
But I don't need to hear it.
I just close my ears to ya'll.
I'm walking around like a giant,
Forty Feet Tall.
and you're all the peasants, sreaming in fear.
"Everybody run! EML IS HERE!!!"
I've come to finally throw down some real lyrics,
forget all that wanna-ba gangsta bull****.
forget about my Malice sized-Gat.
Forget about my crew, or their Louiseville Bat.
Listen up.
Focus your entire attention on me.
I'm the best mother****er you're ever going to see.
So stop all your jibber-jabber.
Stop making jokes.
You fools are looking for a heart attack,
and I'm the Egg Yolk.
So eat as much as you can,
I'm the one sending you to Satan.
 

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