The Rose Bowl Adventure (aka Road Trip III)

[LarryLegend]

Scene One

The Guys' Place

LL, WE and Slag are sitting in the living room in front of a 45 inch flat screen tv watching Baywatch. The room is hauntingly silent as the three men are staring at the screen with an almost inhuman level of concentration. The door opens and a young female lets herself in.

Daisy: Hello

There is no response as the fellas are intently watching shapely actressess run across the screen.

Daisy (a little bit louder): Hello! Is anybody home? Guys?

Again there is no answer. Daisy decides to walk into the living room. She spots the fellas watching tv.

Daisy (to herself): Typical. Just typical.

Daisy: Hi guys.

Once again, nobody responds.

Daisy: Boy, it sure is hot in here. I think I'll take off my top.

Three sets of eyes instantly are on Daisy while at the same time the TV is shut off.

WE: She didn't do it.

Slag: Dayum false advertising.

LL: Hey Daisy.

Daisy: Hey boys, nice of you to finally respond.

Slag: You do realize that your little trick isn't always going to work.

(thinks to self): Patience Slag, patience. One day you will be rewarded.

WE: Yeah, we're on to you.

(thinks to self): I'm going keep looking. One day, she'll be topless.

Daisy: Sure you are.

(think to self): Suckers. There real. There spectacular and you are never going to see them.

LL: So what can we do for you, Daisy?

Daisy: Well, I came by to invite you guys to the Rose Bowl. I scored some free tickets.

LL: All right, I can cheer on my USC Trojans.

Slag: Whatever. You know my Texas Longhorns will prevail.

WE: Screw the BCS. They should have put Auburn in the Rose Bowl to make up for screwing us over last year.

Everybody stares at WE.

WE: What! You all know its the truth.

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene Two
After WE has ranted awhile longer about all the injustices done to Auburn football, LL interupts.

LL: So Daisy, how exactly did you score these tickets?

Daisy: I got them from a friend who teaches at another university.

Slag: So they were like a present then; sweet.

Daisy: Yeah like a present.

Daisy flashes back to how she really got the tickets.

Its a smoke filled room. A number of professors from some of the nations leading colleges are playing poker. One player calls and the rest show their cards.

Daisy: Royal Flush. I win.

She grabs four Rose Bowl tickets that are sitting on the table.

Daisy: Oh yeah, I'm going to the Rose Bowl.

Daisy gets up and does a celebratory dance. The professor from Texas who bet the tickets groans.

UTP: I can't believe I lost those tickets.

Daisy: I can't believe you bet them.

UTP: My friends are going to kill me.

The flashbacks ends.

WE: So when do we leave?

Daisy: Tommorow morning.

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene Three: The Next Morning

LL, WE and Slag are outside with their bags waiting for Daisy to arrive.

Slag: Man, Vince Young is going to light it up.

LL: Please. We all know its going to be the Reggie Bush show.

WE: You know who was a real show? Bo Jackson that's who.

Slag: It works, my time machine works. We've travelled back to the mid 80's.

WE: Shut up.

Daisy pulls up in her van and rolls down the window.

Daisy: Let's move boys.

The fellas pack the van and our foursome is off.

 

[bored]

A tad dated, but who'll complain?

 

[LarryLegend]

A tad dated, but who'll complain?

Careful with comments like that, I might just kill you off.

 

[Abaddon]

Hmm...I'm guessing this takes place a few months ago.

Or in an alternate reality.


But yes,I'm highly amused for someone whose just tasted spoiled milk.

 

[LarryLegend]

Hmm...I'm guessing this takes place a few months ago.

Or in an alternate reality.


But yes,I'm highly amused for someone whose just tasted spoiled milk.

Thank you. Yes, it takes place a few months ago and it is a bit of an alternate reality. I just realized I shot Bored in my last one. Poor bastard doesn't far well in these does he?

 

[Abaddon]

Thank you. Yes, it takes place a few months ago and it is a bit of an alternate reality. I just realized I shot Bored in my last one. Poor bastard doesn't far well in these does he?

Apparently.I'm considering giving his sanity back in my fic.

 

[Tangled Web]

The Rose Bowl

**** 'SC

Go Bruins!

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene Four

The gang is cruising along headed towards the fabled Rose Bowl. Daisy is driving, with Slag sitting shotgun and WE and LL in the back. LL moves to pull a CD from his bag.

WE: You better not be reaching for a copy of Shout At The Devil. I'm sick of that CD.

Slag: I thought I threw that one out of window on our last roadtrip.

See Adventures At Comic-Con

LL: You did.

(thinks to self): Good thing I have three copies.

Daisy: Seriously Larry, I have a strict no 80'S Metal rule for my van.

LL: It wasn't 80's metal. It was a Kelly Clarkson.

WE: Kelly Clarkson?

LL: Yeah, Wilson gave it to me.

Daisy: Ok, I'll consent to putting that one on.

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene 5

The gang has just finished filling up the van with gas and is waiting for LL to come back out. Larry soon emerges.

Slag: I can't believe you're wearing that shirt.

LL: Dude, it rocks, that's why I've got it on and you know it.

Slag: Yeah, a Reggie Bush 2005 Heisman trophy winner t-shirt rocks. rolleyes:

LL: You're just upset that Vince Young didn't win.

Slag: It should have been Vince and you know it.

LL: Please, Leinart was better than Vince.

Slag: Shirley(surely) you jest.

Daisy: You know who was a great QB? Boomer Esiason.

LL/Slag: Huh??? :-/

Daisy: What? Fear the Turtle. That's all, I'm saying.

LL: Man, thats worse than WE and his Auburn talk.

Slag: Amen. Preach it brother Larry.

WE: You want quality Heisman winners, lets talk Bo Jackson or Pat Sullivan.

Slag: Dude, just cause Auburn has had two Heisman winners, it doesn't mean you have to keep bringing them up every time we talk Heisman.

WE: Sometimes I just don't understand you.

Daisy: Time to go.

And with that the gang is off.

 

[bored]

Thank you. Yes, it takes place a few months ago and it is a bit of an alternate reality. I just realized I shot Bored in my last one. Poor bastard doesn't far well in these does he?

Apparently.I'm considering giving his sanity back in my fic.

This is why I was writing my own stuff for a while.

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene Six

As the gang drives on, the Heisman debate rages on as well.

LL: I'm telling you, USC has the best record when it comes to the Heisman. We've got Bush, Leinart, Palmer, Allen, White, Simpson.........

Slag: OJ! Yeah, that's a guy to be proud of. Mr "I'm still looking for the real killer."

LL: Says the man who's school produced Ricky "I retired so I could spend the day smoking weed" Williams.

Slag: At least, he didn't kill anybody.

WE: You know whose neither a drug addict or a killer? Bo Jackson.

Slag: Again with the Bo Jackson.

Daisy: At least he didn't make you guys watch his Highlights Of Bo Jackson at Auburn DVD.

Slag: Yeah, he did.

Daisy: 12 times?

Slag: No, after the first time, we hide it while he was in the bathroom.

WE: I knew it.

 

[bored]

Know what'd be funny? Trying to get Bo Jackson to dance. Now.

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene Seven

LL: Look Eagle, I hate to be the one to tell you this but Bo Jackson was overated.

WE: Lies! Lies!

Slag: What the heck, Larry. Why the dislike of Bo?

LL: Its because Al Davis signed Bo Jackson in 1987 and Bo was taking carries away from USC Great Marcus Allen. It tore me up to see a USC legend being treated like that.

Daisy: Weren't you ten years old then?

LL: Yeah, so?

Daisy: So you didn't get into USC for another eight years.

LL: I knew even then that one day I would attend USC.

Slag: I can't believe this still bugs you.

LL: It was a very painful time for me. Its one of the most tramatic experiences of my childhood.

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene Eight

The gang is rolling along in the classic VW Camper with the huge daisy painted on the roof. They are nearing California.

Daisy: I have got to tell you guys about some of my students from this fall term.

WE: Any hotties?

LL: Did somebody say hotties?

Daisy: Guys, I've told you a million times, I don't do that. Besides its against the rules for faculty to date students.

Slag: Really! You mean its not just frowned upon.

Daisy: No, I would be fired.

WE: Can you atleast have a hot plate in your office?

Daisy: No. Anyways back to my students.

Slag: Go on.

WE (thinks to self): As if this is as good as talking about Auburn football. Go Tigers!

Daisy: So I had this guy named Martell in my first year seminar this year. What a piece of work.

As Daisy begins to tell her story, we flashback to one day after class in the fall term. Daisy has completed her lecture and is packing up her things when a short, nerdy looking freshman approaches her.

Jason Martell: Professor Daisy, I need to have a word with you.

Daisy: What can I do for you?

JM: I just wanted to inform you that I sent a complaint to the Dean's Office, telling them about how you've been failing to properly teach this course.

Daisy: Excuse me!!

JM: I said that you haven't been running this course properly this term. Specifically, how you let certain students run amok. I told the Dean how you childishly flame people during lectures and that you have formed alliances with students who you like. I told him that this is the ugliest classroom I have ever been to. I reccomended that you be fired.

Daisy (thinks to self): I have tenure. I'm here for life. Haha you little worm.

Daisy: I can't believe you did that. Everything you've said is a complete lie.

JM: I just call it as I see it.

The flashback skips forward to two days later. Jason Martell is seen walking across campus talking to himself.

JM: After informing the Dean, what does the Dean do? He expells me for spreading false rumours about the faculty and this "fine academic institution". Talk about trying to supress the truth communist style. Well it won't work. I'll inform the media. I'll inform the world.

The flashback fades and we're back in the present.

Slag: Wow, what a loony tune. So what ended up happening to this kid.

Daisy: I hear he's enrolled at another school.

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene Nine

The gang has entered the beautiful state of California and is quickly approaching Pasendena.

LL: You know what's going to be great about this game? All of the famous USC alums who are going to attend. For instance, did you know that George Lucas is an alum?

Slag: Big deal. Star Wars is so overhyped and overated.

WE punches Slag.

Slag: Hey! What was that for?

WE: Nobody talks trash about Star Wars. You hear me, nobody.

Slag: Fine.
(thinks to self): Is it my fault the prequels suck?

LL: Of course, we also have people like Will Ferrell.

WE: Old School was awesome.

Slag: Cuthbert was in Old School. CPE! CPE! Unlimited rides on the CPE for Slag. Only for Slag.

Daisy: You guys had to mention Cuthbert, didn't you?

LL: I was merely discussing all the famous people, who have attended USC. Did I mention Tom Selleck?

Daisy: No. Now there is a hottie. I had such a crush on him when he was on Magnum PI.

WE: I wanted the Ferrari.

Slag: Hey Legend, you forgot another famous USC Alum. Opie. Boy, it must make you proud that you attended the same school as Opie. Is there an Opie building? How about an Opie hall?

LL: You're just jealous of all the greats who attended USC.

Slag: Please, I attended UT, just like Janis Joplin. Slag starts to sing.
"Take it. Take another little piece of my heart now baby. Break it. Break another little piece of my heart.

LL: Wow, Janis Joplin. Were you two classmates?

WE and Daisy laugh.

Slag: Shirley (Surely) you jest, Legend. I'm not that old. You're just jealous because you know that UT has way more hotties than USC.

LL: Please.

Slag: Jayne Mansfield and Farrah Fawcett went to UT. Both of them were Sex Symbols. USC has nothing like that Legend. Nothing.

LL: You also had Walter Cronkite. Is he on your hottie list too?

Slag: Jealous. Thats all it is.

And on that note the petty bickering continues. Can you imagine what they'll be like at the game?

 

[War Eagle]

Slag: Hey Legend, you forgot another famous USC Alum. Opie. Boy, it must make you proud that you attended the same school as Opie. Is there an Opie building? How about an Opie hall?

Ha, still good stuff.

In a deleted scene WE mentions other famous AU alumns, Charles Barkley, The 2 dudes from Space Shuttle Challenger '82, and Toni Tenille from The f'n Captian and Tenille! .... all true.

 

[LarryLegend]

That scene needs to be exposed to more people, its a classic. I mean we had to cut it so we could show throw in another nude scene but a good scene none the less.

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene 10

The gang has arrived in Pasadena and are checking into their hotel. We join them as they are unpacking the van.

Daisy: Let's get this stuff up to the rooms.

Slag: So we've got two rooms. I guess that means Eagle and Larry will be rooming together and Daisy and I will take the other room.

Daisy: Yeah, no.

WE: Yeah, I'll be rooming with Daisy.

Daisy: Wrong again.

LL: Boys, boys, boys. Its obvious that the lovely Flowered one wants to room with me.

*LL looks up and down at Daisy.*

LL: How you doing?

Daisy: Strike Three.

LL (thinks to self): My mojo must be on the fritz.

Daisy: You three will be rooming together. Don't worry, there's two beds and a cot.

LL: I call the first bed.

WE: I call the second bed.

LL/WE: Slag, you got the cot.

Slag: Dammit Janet. This just gets worse and worse.
(thinks to self): Speaking of getting worse and worse, we're in to scene 10 and we have not even had a drink or a woman?!?!?!?!? WHAT KIND OF FANTASY ROAD TRIP IS THIS!?!?!?!?!?!?

 

[Abaddon]

Haha.

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene 11

The gang has headed out to Buscema's for a night of drinking and revelry.

LL: Slag, you get the first round.

Slag: Uh, I'll get my round later.

WE: Oh no you don't. We're not falling for that again. You always say that and then never buy.

Slag: Why change something that works so well?

Daisy: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me.....

*Slag cuts her off.*

Slag: Fool you 25 times, you're Eagle or LL.

*LL and WE glare at Slag.*

Slag: I'll get a pitcher.

LL: I wonder if they have kareoke?

WE: No more singing. Its bad enough you sing in the car or the shower.

LL: Hey now, I sing a great version of We die young.

WE: Yeah and if you keep singing it you will die young.

Daisy: Now, now, no fighting.

*Slag returns with two pitchers of beer and a tray of tequila shots.*

LL: Nice job Slag.

Daisy: You're not supposed to mix beer and the hard stuff.

WE: Thats only for amateurs.

Slag: Yeah, we're pros. What's the matter Flower? You a flywight or something?

*Daisy punches Slag and starts to drink.*

Slag: So Eagle, you haven't said who you're cheering for?

WE: I'm going for USC,.

LL: Yes, my brother.

*LL and WE high five.*

Slag: What! How could you?

WE: I'd normally be rooting for Texas but they stole our defensive coordinter.

Slag: Dayum! Does everything always revolve around Auburn?

WE: What else is there? :-/ Besides Mack Brown is a whiney little baby with a dirty diaper.

Slag: Betrayed! Betrayed by my brother. The pain, it just cuts like a knife.

LL: A little overdramatic aren't we?

Slag: Shut up.

Suddenly a voice is heard singing.

Daisy: Because you make me feel,
You make me feel, you make me feel like
A natural woman

The boys turn and stare at Daisy. She is on the next table, dancing as she sings at the top of her lungs.

Slag: Dayum, that is sexy.

WE: Yep.

LL: Oh yeah.

WE: We should really stop her.

Slag/LL: Uh huh.

*LL, Slag and WE continue to stare.*

Daisy: Oh, baby, what you've done to me
You make me feel so good inside
And I just want to be close to you
You make me feel so alive
You make me feel,
You make me feel, you make me feel like
A natural woman

*Daisy finishes and half the bar begins to clap.*

Daisy: Thank you. Thank you. Now for my next number...

*WE and LL grab her and begin to carry her to the door.*

Daisy: But I wasn't done yet.

 

[Abaddon]

Who doesn't love drunken kareaoke?

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene 12

The fellas have just dragged Daisy out of Buscema's and are milling around in the parking lot.

Daisy: What's wrong with you guys?

WE: You were causing a spectacle!

Daisy: Oh and you guys never do that.

LL: She's got a point.

*WE's cellphone rings. He walks away and begins an animated conversation.*

Slag: Wonder who that is?

*WE returns*

WE: That was Guy. He wants to meet with us.

*The gang heads off to met Guy.*

We rejoin them as they enter Frenz's.

Daisy: Who's the weirdo with all the penguins?

LL: That's Guy.

Daisy: Oops. Sorry about the weirdo comment.
(thinks to self): Who has a penguin posse? Who?

WE: Don't be dissing Guy. He's the man.
(thinks to self): The man who set me up with Biel. Biel, Biel, Biel, Biel!!!

Guy: Hey fellas. Nice to see you again.
*Guy looks at Daisy.*

Guy: And who is this ravishing creature.

*Guy gets up and kisses Daisy's hand.*

Daisy: I'm Daisy. Nice to meet you Guy.
(thinks to self): Ok, maybe not a weirdo.

*The gang sits down.*

Slag: Hey Hector. Who's my favorite penguin?

Guy: Psst Slag. Penguins don't talk man.

LL: So Guy, why did you want to see us?

Guy: I just wanted to tell you that so far the movie looks great. You all have done an excellent job. This movie is going to be huge.

WE: Forget the movie. I want to know if you brought any umm suprises for us?

LL: Translation did you bring Jessica Biel.

WE: Shut up.
(thinks to self): What else would I mean? Biel! Biel! Biel!Biel!

Slag: Yeah is Cuthbert here? CPE! CPE! Only for Slag! No sharing!

Guy: Actually I just invited you guys to come and drink tonight. No special "friends."

Slag: No CPE?

WE: No Biel?

LL: No Durrance or other hottie?

Guy: Sorry.

Daisy: Have you ever seen a more dissapointed bunch, Guy?

Guy: They do seem sad. Tell you what fellas. Drinks are on me.

LL/WE/Slag: Beer!

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene 13

Its the next morning and our scene opens up in the fella's hotel room. A thumping sound and a voice counting are heard across the room.

Slag: 22,23,24,25,26

*Larry stirs*

LL: What the hell?

Slag: 32,33,34,35

*Still half asleep Larry looks towards the source of the noise.*

LL: My eyes! My eyes! Oh the horror!

*WE stirs*

Slag: 45,46,47,48

WE: What? What's the matter?

*LL points, while moaning softly to himself about his eyes. WE looks to where LL is pointing.*

WE: Oh my goodness. I didn't need to see that.

Slag: What? What's wrong with doing some exercise in the morning?

WE: But you're doing jumping jacks and your....

LL: Nakid. Oh my poor eyes.

Slag: So? I get sweaty when I exercise and this way my clothes stay clean. Besides I'm also ready for the shower?

WE: Yeah but there are other people here.

LL: I am so going to need therapy. Do we still get that group rate?

WE: Yeah. Here.

*WE throws Slag a robe. Slag puts it on.*

Slag: Time for my shower.

*Slag heads off.*

WE: Unbelivable.

LL: I know.