Adventures At Comic-Con (A.K.A. Roadtrip 2)

[LarryLegend]

Scene One: The Guy's Place

LL and WE are hanging out, watching some CFL football (hey, its July, there's no other football on) when Slag walks in.

Slag: Roadtrip time.

WE: Again?

LL: Yeah, I missed alot of work when we took that last trip to CD's.

Slag: So, its not like you got fired.

LL: Pretty close, what with how long we were gone and you using my work cell.

Slag: I paid it back.

LL: No, you didn't.

Slag: Yeah, that's right, I didn't.

WE: How did you manage not to get fired Larry?

LL: I found evidence to use against my boss.

Slag: So you're good to go on the trip?

LL: Yep.

WE: So where we going?

Slag: Comic-Con.

With that our three heros begin their journey.


Scene 2: Parking Lot At Comic-Con

The guys pull up outside Comic-Con, get out and start to head in. Suddenly a large figure emerges in front of them, blocking nearly all the sunlight.

LL: Funny, I don't remember reading about an eclipse.

A deep, loud voice rings out.

PH: Hulk finally find. Hulk smash punny men for stealing Daisy's van.

Slag: For the last time, it was borrowed.

PH: You steal. Hulk smash.

WE: Actually we returned the van to Daisy.

PH: You return?

WE: Yes.

PH: Oh. Hulk go now. Hulk sorry.

WE: No problem.

LL: Nice to see you again.

PH wanders off.

Scene 3: Just Outside Comic-Con

Our heros are walking and are nearly to the entrance when they hear a voice.

Matt: Learn the truth, my friends, learn the truth.

LL: What the?

WE, LL and Slag stop and look. They see a homemade booth which is labeled: Lucas Is Wrong!

LL: Ok, I'll bite, learn the truth about what?

Matt: The Jedi.

Slag: What? That their a work of fiction?

Matt: No! About the problems with the concept of the Jedi in the entire prequel trilogy.

LL: I'm guessing that was the original choice of names?

Matt: Yeah, but it took up too much space.

WE: So what's your theory?

Matt: In the original trilogy, the Jedi is seen more as a fading religion/cult as opposed to a wider accepted organization/belief. Episode takes place only 20 years later, how could they be disregarded so quickly?

LL: Dude, its a movie.

Matt looks at LL with utter disdan.

Matt: The Jedi should have been a small group of maybe 50 people and more like Gandalf.

Slag: You wanted the Jedi to be wizards?


Matt looks at Slag with disgust.

Thinks to self: Morons. I'm surrounded by morons. Why do I even try?

Matt: No, just more of an unseen force.

WE: Look buddie. Star Wars has always had "plotholes". You're acting like these are the first. Get over it.

Matt: You apologists are all alike?

WE: Excuse me?

Matt: You all go out of your way to make excuses for Lucas's mistakes. I'm so sick of the "its just a little plothole" arguement.

WE: I just accept reality for what it is. Better than nitpicking over a few details.

Matt: I swear, if there was a series of Matrix prequels and it was as bad as Episodes I-III...

WE: What did you say?

Matt: I said Lucas is a hack.

WE looks ready to attack Matt.

LL: Calm down Eagle.

Matt: Yeah pigon. Listen to your boyfriend.

WE: That's it.

WE grabs Matt and goes to work. Meanwhile LL and Slag walk off.

Slag: He'll find us inside when he's done.

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene 4

While Eagle is "occupied", Slag and LL enter Comic-Con and begin to check things out. LL picks up a schedule.

LL: It says here JMS is doing a Q&A.

Slag: We have got to go to that.

LL: Definatly. Arad and Rami are also appearing.

Slag: Excellent.

Two young men walk by.

First Young Man: So did you hear about Matt?

Second Young Man: No. What happened.

FYM: Well, he got into an arguement with some guy passing by and it turned physical.

SYM: No.

FYM: Yes. I kid you not.

SYM: So, who won?

FYM: The other dude kicked Matt's ass. I kid you not.

Slag: Well, guess Eagle will be joining us shortly.

Scene 5

LL and TheSlag have just finished hearing about Eagle's fight, when WE rejoins them.

WE: Hey buddies.

Slag: Hey brutther. Heard about your asswhupping.

WE smiles sheepishly.

WE: It wasn't anything.

LL: Not what we heard.

WE: Ok, I wasted him.

LL: So we were going to check out a Q&A with JMS, you want to come?

WE: Yep.

Slag: Then let's do it. Only guys.....

LL/WE: What?

Slag: I got first dibs on kicking JMS's pathetic, Gwen defiling ass.

And with that our heros were off to the Q&A. But what fate awaits JMS?

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene 6

WE, LL and Slag enter the conference room which is holding the Q&A with JMS. The room is packed. There's an electricity in the room.

Emcee: Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for coming today. Our next guest achieved fame writing on Murder She Wrote and then moved on to create the Sci-Fi classic Babylon 5. He's currently the writer for that Marvel Flagship The Amazing Spider-Man. And now, Comic-Con is proud to present John Micheal Straczynski.

JMS walks out to a mix of cheers and boos.

JMS: Thank you, thank you.

Thinks to self: Who dares boo me? I am the mighty John Micheal Straczynski.

Slag walks up to a mic.

JMS: Yes, you there you have a question?

(Thinks to self): Ah, yet another adoring fan ready to tell me how wonderful I am.

Slag: How does anybody achieve fame writng Murder She Wrote?

JMS: Excuse me?

Slag: I mean so some old lady writes mysteries and also solves them. That town had like what 45 people? How hard of a job was that?

JMS (thinks to self): Who is this guy?

JMS: Well, its a little more complicated than that. You see...

WE cuts him off

WE: Hey buddie, my theory is that the old lady was actually commiting all the murders. See she was a serial killer and she was framing the other people to cover it up.

JMS: Well that's just preposterous.

(thinks to self): That was actually my idea. And it would have been brilliant. Damm those CBS fools.

WE: Well, you see Sir, preposterous is actually how many fans feel about Sins Past.

LL (Thinks to self): Here we go, now its going to get good.

Author's Note: See all that Murder She Wrote stuff wasn't just fun and games, it had a purpose as a plot device.

 

[Psycho Hulk]

I am not sure if I am allowed to post here...but :stands up and claps for what he had read so far: Hulk like! Hulk Smash people who hurt Daisy...:growls:... Very funny stuff! This all should be drawn out and have like your own penny Arcade...all of these ever written! Pure Genius!

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene 7

JMS: Excuse me, did you just call my story preposterous?

(thinks to self): Young upstart. Who is he to question me the amazing JMS?

WE: Yeah but mainly I'd call Sins Past a total piece of crap.

A large round of applause goes up coupled with cries of 'got that right'

JMS shakes his head and sighs.

JMS: Young man, you obviously failed to grap the story.

(thinks to self): These poor ignorant souls who just don't have the mental ability to grasp my stories, I pity them.

WE: Oh I understood it, the story was just garbage. You took Gwen Stacy, the love of Peter Parker's life, who was tragically killed because Peter was Spider-Man even though she was innocent. A woman of virtue, honor and class and turned her into a lying **** who was killed because she hooked up with and then crossed the wrong man.

Another round of applause goes up.

JMS: You just don't get it. The character had been portrayed the same way for thirty years, no change, no growth and no suprises for thirty years.

WE: So what she was dead. Why defile her now? Are you a necrophiliac?

JMS: No. Look the character was stagnant. A character that never changes and who is always precieved the same way is "dead" and frankly sucks.

WE: So its better to completly alter the character?

JMS: As a writer, there is nothing worse than a "dead" character. So I took a chance and added a layer to Gwen.

WE: And you failed miserably. I mean the guys who took a chance and brought us New Coke and the Yugo are laughing their asses off at you.

Another huge round of applause is mixed with laughter.

JMS: I've had enough of your ignorance sir. Sit down.

WE: Make me.

LL (whispers to Slag): Two fights in less than an hour, that's a record even for Eagle.

JMS: Security, please escort that man to his seat and insure he doesn't ask any more questions.

Slag (whispers to LL): I think JMS just delayed the ass whupping. If he was smart he would have kicked Eagle out of the room.

WE is dragged back to his seat by two security guards.

WE: This is an outrage. You're all violating my first amendment rights. You'll be hearing from my congressman.

JMS: Does anybody else have a question?

LL walks up to a mic.

LL: I do.

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene 8

JMS: Go ahead.

LL: Thanks. I want to address the many continuety errors in Sins Past.

JMS: What ever do you mean? I did my research on Sins Past, young man.

(thinks to self): Yeah, I really did mail it in on the research. Maybe I should have read the original issues before I wrote Sins Past.

LL: Well to begin with, in Sins Past, Gwen is in Paris for four months but there's no four month gap in the original comics.

JMS: I place the trip around ASM 119-120.

LL: That takes place over a few weeks.

JMS: Whatever. So you found one place where we disagree.

LL: No, I found a place where you screwed up.

JMS sticks his tongue out at LL.

LL: Second, in Sins Past, Gwen writes she wanted to call Peter from Paris but he was in Montreal. In ASM 120, Peter calls Gwen who's in New York while he's in Montreal. In fact, that's why he comes home.

JMS: Now you're just making stuff up.

(thinks to self): Where are these guys coming from? I really need to make sure they only allow people who'll kiss my ass to ask questions and give comments.

LL: Moving along, in the original issues, Gwen never appears pregnant. Heck she's in the Savageland in a bikini.

JMS: What kind of loser remembers a comic book character in a bikini? Do you live in your parent's basement?

LL: No. Is that the best arguement you have? Throwing childish insults?

JMS: I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.

LL shakes his head in amazement.

LL: So how do you explain Gabriel being Norman's son when in ASM 121 and the Goblin Journal he refers to Harry as his only son?

JMS: Norman was lying in those places to cover up the secret plot he had for the twins.

LL: Right.

JMS gives LL the finger

LL begins to move towards the stage but Slag grabs him.

Slag (whispers): Its not worth it.

LL: So moving along, what about Norman telling Gwen his blood was special which would indicate he knew he was the Goblin when in ASM 121 he doesn't remember he's the Goblin until MJ, Peter and Gwen leave his house.

JMS: Again, its a matter of interpretation.

LL: JMS all you done is spout a load of bull****.

JMS: Security, please escort that man to his seat and insure he asks no more questions.

Security comes over and takes LL back.

LL: You coward. I should just kick your ass.

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene 9

LL and WE are sitting in their seats fuming.

JMS: Does anybody else have a comment or question?

Slag: Isn't it true that you came up with the idea for this story and then chose the characters? So basically you were making the characters fit your story rather than writing a tale based on the characters and their history.

JMS: No, you're wrong, you moron.

Slag: I have a copy of an interview that you gave right here with me.

Slag pulls out a magazine.

JMS: Whatever.

Slag: You say and I quote, "This story could have used Betty or anybody else. Essentially Gwen was the biggest rock I could find to throw at Peter."

JMS: I was misquoted.

(thinks to self): I have got to stop giving interviews when I'm drunk. I can't lie nearly as well as when I'm sober.

Slag: You know what, you're just full off it and I'm sick of it. Enough of this garbage. Let's kick his ass. Who's with me?

LL/WE: We are!!

A mob led by Slag, WE and LL rush the stage.

Security guard one: We should try to stop them.

Security guard 2: Forget that. They don't pay me enough.

SG1: Then let's call for back-up.

SG2: All right.

SG1 and SG2 call for reinforcements, while JMS is being attacked.

JMS: Help, help.

A number of security personal enter and quickly break things up. Slag, WE and LL are arrested.

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene 10

LL, WE and Slag are under arrest and in the process of being placed in a holding cell after their "disagreement" with JMS.

WE: This is an outrage. We did nothing wrong. In fact, we performed a public service.

Guard: Whatever. In we go.

LL, WE and Slag enter the cell, which is locked behind them.

Abaddon: Well, hello. So nice to have some company.

LL/Slag/WE: Hey.

Abaddon: My name is Abaddon, who are you?

LL: I'm LarryLegend and this is Slag and WarEagle.

Abaddon: Nice to meet you. So what are you in for?

WE: We had a disagreement with JMS at Comic-Con.

Abaddon: Disagreement?

LL: We may have attacked him and started a riot.

WE: We're innocent until proven guilty and its allegedly attacked and allegedly incited a riot.

Abaddon: Interesting. I'm here cause of Marti Noxton of Buffy fame.

Slag: What did you do?

Abaddon: I attacked her at a convention because she ruined Buffy. I mean Season 6 sucks. Drugs = Magic and are bad. Dayum, Buffy ain't supposed to be an after school special.

LL: So what do you do, other than attacking celebs?

Abaddon: I'm a college student and a writer. Currently I'm working on a series I call Flamer.

Slag: Oh, so you play for the other team.

WE: Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Abaddon: What? No! I like girls!

Slag: I just thought when you said the series was called Flamer, it was about you know and that you were ghey.

WE: Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Abaddon: Actually Flamer is a Buffy fan fiction. Its a series involving a bunch of my friends and associates as Buffy characters.

LL: Sounds interesting.

Abaddon: Yeah, I post it online. I've only be doing it a short time but already its got a pretty good following.

Slag: Hey, we never got our phone call.

WE: This is an outrage. I want my lawyer.

 

[Abaddon]

hahaha I like it.

 

[Alexia Dark]

Not bad. Not bad at all .

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene 11

LL: So guys seriously, what are we going to do to get out?

WE: We can call somebody if these morons ever let us. Talk about a rights violation. I smell a lawsuit.

Abaddon walks over to LL and whispers

Abaddon: Is he always like this?

LL: You should have seen him after the BCS screwed Auburn.

Author's Note: Auburn really did get screwed. Dayum BCS

Slag: I've got it. We can call Larry's mom.

LL: No. Why in the world would you want to call my mom?

Slag: Cause your mom is hot dude.

LL: Slag, WTF.

Slag: Its true.

LL: I said no and I can't believe you just said that about my mom. Besides we could call Eagle's mom just as easy.

Slag: Eagle's mom's not as hot.

WE: Hey! My mom is plenty hot.

LL and Slag stare at him.

WE: You guys know what I mean.

Author's Note: Nobody has an Oedipus Complex here. Just some jokes.

LL: That's it! We're adults and we're not calling our moms.

WE: We could call CD.

Slag: Naw, the Godfather is too busy with the bambino.

LL: Besides I think he's still mad that Slag ran over one of his sheep.

Slag: It was an accident.

LL, WE and Slag walk over to seperate parts of the cell to think. Abaddon comes over to Slag.

Abaddon: So is Larry's mom really hot?

Slag: See for yourself.

Slag hands over a picture from his pocket. Before Abaddon can comment a guard appears.

Guard: This is your lucky day. You three are free to go. Somebody just posted your bail.

 

[The Green Goblin]

Scene 11

Author's Note: Auburn really did get screwed. Dayum BCS

Damn right!

These are great Larry, you've outdone yourself pardner.

I really like Scene 7 where I get to tell JMS off.

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene 12

Slag: We're free to go?

Guard: That's what I said.

(thinks to self): Not too bright that one.

WE: But who bailed us out?

LL: Yeah, who even knew we were in here.

Guard: You'll see.

Abaddon: What about me?

Guard: Sorry, nothing yet.

LL, WE and Slag are processed out and brought into an open room.

Guard: Here you go mister, all yours.

Wilson Fisk: Thanks officer.

LL/WE/Slag: Wilson!!

WF: Hey boys. Up to your usual tricks I see.

WE: JMS deserved it.

LL: Yeah, he's a jerk.

Slag: So how did you know we were in here Wilson?

WF: Well, I was attending Comic-Con and I heard that there was a riot at the JMS panel.

WE: And from that you guessed it was us who caused it?

WF: Not exactly. At first I just heard about the riot. Then I heard three guys had caused it and had been arrested. Then I knew it had to be you guys.

Slag: Our reputation proccedes us.

LL: Anyways, thanks for bailing us out.

WF: No problem, what are friends for? Now lets get out of here. I need to talk to you three.

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene 13

Importer/Exporter and famed Film Exec, Wilson Fisk has just bailed the terrific trio out of jail. The four are riding in Fisk's limo.

WF: I thought we'd go for coffee and talk.

WE: Sounds great.

WF: I want to try this place I heard about, maybe you three know it since you live here, its called Marielle's?

Slag and LL exchange a look of fear, while WE gulps.

WE: Sure Wilson, we've been there. Its good.

WF: Are you sure? As sound as I mentioned it, you guys got a strange look on your faces.

LL: Its nothing, nothing at all.

(thinks to self): Since the man just bailed us out of jail, I don't think he needs to hear about what happened last time. I still can't believe what Slag did.

Slag: You'll love the place Wilson.

(thinks to self): I can't believe what Larry did last time. Dayum Cupcake Wrangler.

For more details see TB Friends: The RoadTrip, true believers

WF: Great cause here we are.

 

[DC/MARVEL]

Dude, I'm on scene 6 and I love it! Your writting reminds me of Kevin Smith, like, Mallrats and Chasing Amy. Keep it up!

 

[Ultimate Movie-Man]

Yeah its cooL!

 

[twylight]

HAhahaHAHA! Big Bro! I LOVE the gwen part...

And I owe you a PM..it's on it's way.

 

[Abaddon]

shutup tey,ihate you now.

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene 14

The Fab Four exits Fisk's limo and enters Marielle's.

LL (thinks to self): I really hope this goes well. The last thing we need is another incident.

Slag (thinks to self): I hope that this time she throws a toaster. I really need a new toaster GE preferably.

WF: So does coffees and pasteries sound good?

WE: Yes it does.

LL and Slag nod in agreement. Wilson walks to the counter and places the order. While he is doing so the Three Musketeers huddle up.

LL: So far so good.

WE: Yeah, hopefully Oakzap stays in the back or out or wherever she is.

Slag: Yeah.

(thinks to self): You know what else would be nice? A toster oven.

Wilson returns and the group finds a table.

WE: So Wilson, what did you want to talk to us about?

WF: Its about the film.

WE: The film's not cancelled is it?

WF: No, no. There's just been some recasting.

LL: We're not fired are we?

WF: No, no, no.

Slag: What then?

WF: We dumped Katie Holmes from the project. She's just been acting really weird lately. I'm sorry Larry.

LL: Its all right. We're not seeing each other anymore. And you're quite right. She's been acting bizarre lately.

WF: Good to hear it. We've....
(WF is interupted by Slag)

Slag: Tell Wilson the truth.

LL: What?

Slag: She dumped him Wilson. D u m p e d.... dumped. Apparently she started seeing somebody else, an older man.

LL: Anyways Wilson, what else were you going to say before Slag interupted?

WF: We've replaced Holmes with Erica Durrance of Smallville, so Larry you'll be working with her.

LL: Sweet.

WE: Nice.

WE and LL high five.

WF: Man, this stuff is great. I've got to hire this place to work on the Guy Movie set.

WF goes to talk to the owner.

LL punches Slag.

LL: I wasn't dumped. It ended mutally.

Slag: Liar.

WE: Children please, we're in a public place.

WF returns.

WF: The owner's out but I left my number. I've got to run great to see you guys.

WF leaves.

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene 15

LL: Well looks like we dodge the Oakzap bullet.

WE: Our luck seems to be changing.

Suddenly a shadowy figure approaches the boys' table.

Oakzap425: Hello boys, long time no see.

LL (thinks to self): I knew it was too good to be true.

WE: Hi Oakzap.

(thinks to self): I don't see any appliances.

Slag: Hey beautiful.

Oakzap425: Hi

Oakzap425 turns to LL.

Oakzap425: So how have you been? I've got some fresh cupcakes in the back if you like.

LL: I've been good and that sounds great.

Oakzap425: I'll go get some then.

Oakzap425 turns to leave, as she's walking away Slag turns to LL.

Slag: Those should be my cupcakes. Dayum you CUPCAKE WRANGLER!!!

Oakzap425 whirls around.

Oakzap425: What did you say?

WE: Oh man, here we go.

Slag: I called this guy what he really is a no good stinking cupcake wrangler.

Oakzap425: He didn't wrangle nothing.

Slag: Oh yeah, did he tell you all about his "adventures" with Katie Holmes?

For more details see TB Friends: The Roadtrip

Oakzap425: What?

WE: And just when you think it can't possibly get any worse, it does.

LL: Dayum. Danger Will Robinson, danger.

Slag: You would blush if you heard what they did. I'm still having nightmares.

Oakzap425: Out. Get out all of you.

LL: Why?

Oakzap425: Just do it!!

The trio begin a mad rush for the door. As they are fleeing a stream of appliances begin to fly over their heads.

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene 16

Fleeing a barrage of appliances and venomous words, our heros exit Marielle's.

LL: Once again Slag, I can't believe you did that.

Slag: I can't believe she didn't throw a toaster or a toaster oven.

LL: Man, you're unbelievable!

Slag: Thanks you.

WE walks over to Slag and whispers.

WE: Dude, it wasn't a compliment.

LL: Anyways let's head back to Comic-Con.

WE looks at his watch.

WE: Yeah, we still have time to make the Sam Rami open forum.

Slag: Excellent. I have some things to say to him.

LL: Think they'll let us in?

WE: When has that stopped us before?

LL: True, very true.

And with that our toasterless heros head back to Comic-Con.

 

[LarryLegend]

Scene 17

Our three heros stand outside Comic-Con, deep in discussion.

LL: I'm thinking that right now, we three are persona non grata. Its quite likely they won't let us back in.

Slag: You know, they never said that we couldn't come back in, they just hauled us out.

(thinks to self): They always boot you but they never say that you can't come back, suckers.

WE: I still say that our rights were violated. I'm going to get a lawyer and sue. It'll be a big case. I'll get Jackie Chiles to be my lawyer.

LL: Who?

WE: Jackie Chiles , the guy from tv.

Slag: Uh, the Seinfeld guy?

WE: Exactly.

LL: Yeah but Eagle, he's not real.

WE: Nitpicker. Let's just go inside.

They trio enters and as they do they are pulled aside by security.

DC/Marvel: Sorry guys, I can't let you in.

WE: Let us in!!!!

DC/Marvel: Sorry, I have my orders.

WE: I'm going to sue!

Hearing the commotion, the head of security comes over.

SHF: Is there a problem here?

Slag: Dude!!

SHF (to the trio): Hello gentlemen.

SHF(to DC/Marvel): These gentlemen are VIPS. They represent FFS Comics Limited and are to be let in immediatly.

DC/Marvel: But they match the description of the JMS assailiants.

SHF: Naw, you're wrong. These boys are legit.

(to the trio): Right this way gentlemen. I'm sorry about all this. New man on the job.

LL: Not at all. Thanks for your help.

And with that, our heros headed straight for the Sam Rami Open Pannel.

 

[DC/MARVEL]

Hey, thanks for the cameo, legend. Hopefully, it's not a cameo...

 

[LarryLegend]

DC/Marvel, no problem.

 

[DC/MARVEL]

Awesome. This is so like Mallrats, one of the best movies alive. If you could, make me like someone who works with Sam Raimi, personally, like his private assisant and I'm looking for three lucky fans to appear on a walk-on roll and to help Raimi with research needs, or something. If not, that's cool. Cameo's a heck lot better than nothing...