The Vampire Menace Has Met it's Match in...

[TEDDY]

STEVEN SEGAL!!!

 

[ABleedingCorpse]

Okay, that looked freaking AMAZINGLY DUMB!

Producer 1 - "Hey, we're going to make a zombie movie, but instead of zombies they're vampires"

Producer 2 - "Okay. Who's in it?"

Producer 1 - "Steven Segal"

Producer 2 - "I don't know about that..."

Producer 1 - "He's going to be a MASTER SWORDSMAN!"

Producer 2 - "Say no more. I'm sold"


*sigh* This looks really dumb.

 

[SuperFerret]

Okay, that looked freaking AMAZINGLY DUMB!

Producer 1 - "Hey, we're going to make a zombie movie, but instead of zombies they're vampires"

Producer 2 - "Okay. Who's in it?"

Producer 1 - "Steven Segal"

Producer 2 - "I don't know about that..."

Producer 1 - "He's going to be a MASTER SWORDSMAN!"

Producer 2 - "Say no more. I'm sold"


*sigh* This looks really dumb.

It's a Segal movie, of course it is.

 

[ABleedingCorpse]

It's a Segal movie, of course it is.

I know, but I'm always hoping this guy will finally become an 'actor' and make a decent movie. I see 'Segals' name and I instantly know exactly what he's going to do, how he's going to play it, and it's like the old saying, 'If you've seen one Steven Segal movie...you've seen 'em all, and one is too many'.

 

[Mutagen]

I like the name...

 

[SuperFerret]

I know, but I'm always hoping this guy will finally become an 'actor' and make a decent movie. I see 'Segals' name and I instantly know exactly what he's going to do, how he's going to play it, and it's like the old saying, 'If you've seen one Steven Segal movie...you've seen 'em all, and one is too many'.

The best Segal movie is the one where he gets sucked out of a plane and dies near the beginning. It was awesome.


Honestly, with Underworld and Twilight out hasn't the vampire legend suffered enough without Segal squinting at them?

 

[TEDDY]

I know, but I'm always hoping this guy will finally become an 'actor' and make a decent movie. I see 'Segals' name and I instantly know exactly what he's going to do, how he's going to play it, and it's like the old saying, 'If you've seen one Steven Segal movie...you've seen 'em all, and one is too many'.

Dude. He's playing a vampire hunter. Named Tao. Who is a Katana master. You can't become a better actor than that!

 

[ABleedingCorpse]

The best Segal movie is the one where he gets sucked out of a plane and dies near the beginning. It was awesome.


Honestly, with Underworld and Twilight out hasn't the vampire legend suffered enough without Segal squinting at them?

Not until there is a musical about teenage vampires in college and it stars Zac Efron. Or until they remake 'Once Bitten' or Teen Wolf. Or better yet, a clash between Once Bitten, Teen Wolf and High School Musical....oh..Twilight was indeed turned into a movie. My bad.

 

[Hunter Rider]

 

[SuperFerret]

Not until there is a musical about teenage vampires in college and it stars Zac Efron. Or until they remake 'Once Bitten' or Teen Wolf. Or better yet, a clash between Once Bitten, Teen Wolf and High School Musical....oh..Twilight was indeed turned into a movie. My bad.

Wait... there are werewolves in Twilight?

 

[ABleedingCorpse]

Dude. He's playing a vampire hunter. Named Tao. Who is a Katana master. You can't become a better actor than that!

He's played that role 50 times now. When am I going to get Segal playing a guy who doesn't know anything about horrible kungfu, swords or is batteling someone? *I know, this is Steven Segal we're talking about...but seriously? Does he not take himself seriously?*

 

[ABleedingCorpse]

Wait... there are werewolves in Twilight?

Wait until New Moon...yes, werewolves are in the world of Twilight. I was just speaking generaly.

 

[SuperFerret]

Wait until New Moon...yes, werewolves are in the world of Twilight. I was just speaking generaly.

No... It was bad enough that they've glitterfied the legions of the undead, but lycanthropes were dragged into it too?

 

[ABleedingCorpse]

No... It was bad enough that they've glitterfied the legions of the undead, but lycanthropes were dragged into it too?

Yes, and they're just as much of a wussy as the vampires are...but with more 'emotions'. ugh.

 

[SuperFerret]

Yes, and they're just as much of a wussy as the vampires are...but with more 'emotions'. ugh.

Emotions don't bother me, they help make a character more three-dimensional, but if they don't tear out a jugular or two, it's a damn shame.

 

[xwolverine2]

omg lol

did uwe boll direct this crap?

 

[ABleedingCorpse]

Emotions don't bother me, they help make a character more three-dimensional, but if they don't tear out a jugular or two, it's a damn shame.

Sorry, I meant 'EMO-tions'. Whinny little werewolfs who cry about the girl liking the vampire more.

 

[Majik1387]

I love for a master swordsman, he only does 3 moves with a sword.

 

[ABleedingCorpse]

I love for a master swordsman, he only does 3 moves with a sword.

 

[TEDDY]

He's played that role 50 times now.

Wait... Segal has played a vampire hunter before? Where was I when this happened?

 

[Majik1387]

Seriously.

Slash down from the right. Now with the left. Now straight up. You're done. Great shooting Steven.

 

[TEDDY]

Seriously.

Slash down from the right. Now with the left. Now straight up. You're done. Great shooting Steven.

Segal: "Yo Vampire: SUCK ON THIS!"


>_<

 

[Majik1387]

You know thats gonna be a line in the movie. It just fits too well.

I gotta say though, the city shots before Segal showed up made the movie look decent.

 

[SuperFerret]

>_<

When did they add a Segal smiley?

 

[SuperFerret]

The best Segal movie is the one where he gets sucked out of a plane and dies near the beginning. It was awesome.

BEHOLD! THE AWESOME!

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