The Virginity Question

[SymbioticToxin]

I'm still young (18 is young?) and I still have my v-card. Actually, I'm one of the few people in my group of friends that still is. Never really saw it as a burden except for when the topic of sex randomly shows up in a conversation and EVERYONE talks about their sexual encounters. Personally I wanna stay a virgin for now because I feel I'm not prepared for it mentally or emotionally, hence why I have alot of respect for kids my age or older who haven't had sex.

 

[Timstuff]

I'm 24 and still carrying "the V-card." I'm fine with waiting until marriage for sex, and it takes a load of peer pressure off your back. I am not going to die if I don't have sex before I turn 25.

 

[AndThePickles]

Why? So she could take precautions and/or deal with a lighter period? It's not like she was saying, "Hi, I'm going to have copious amounts of unprotected sex and would like to take birth control for this reason." I mean, I don't know her story or anything, but I can't see Pickles saying that.

Edit: I think you have to take birth control a few months before it actually starts kicking in & you're supposed to have sex anyways. I dunno though, I'm not on it.

Haha yeah, when I explained it, it was only because I wanted to be safe "just in case;" I hadn't even made the decision that I was planning to have sex before marriage, yet. Or dating anyone. In high school, I unfortunately had no choice but to ask if I wanted to begin any medication because it would have fallen under my dad's insurance. At any rate, it went terribly, and I ended up just waiting until I was in college and going to the health clinic there to get a prescription.

For your future reference: Birth control becomes effective 7 days after you first begin taking it.

 

[AndThePickles]

I still believe that society/parents in general should try and promote health and well-being instead of complete and utter abstinence, which more often than not leads to unsafe practices, lying/sneaking around, and a lack of general knowledge/common sense on the subject.

Yup, it's a damn shame. I fully believe that what you described is a HUGE factor in why STDs and unplanned pregnancies are such a big problem in this country.

Anything sexual is still often viewed as "taboo" or "dirty."

 

[Hound55]

I will be my daughters first line of defence in terms of birth control; sitting on the front porch with my old cricket bat...

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I will be my daughters first line of defence in terms of birth control; sitting on the front porch with my old cricket bat...

While she slips out the back door and gets some in the back yard, why the back yard because she knows it'll piss you off even more. I think being overprotective like that is the best way to make your daughter a ****.

 

[Darthphere]

I'm 24 and still carrying "the V-card." I'm fine with waiting until marriage for sex, and it takes a load of peer pressure off your back. I am not going to die if I don't have sex before I turn 25.

Oh yes you will.

 

[Erzengel]

Try the new car route.

Can I have a new car?

Is your hymen intact?

 

[Erzengel]

Also for those who are still virgins, are you virgins on principle or lack of opportunity?

 

[Mr.Webs]

As a 20 year old man still with his V-card unswiped, for me it's personally on principle. I honestly just haven't met anyone yet that means enough to me or that I personally care enough about to have that experience with. I'd prefer to wait and find a gal I truly like than just lose it on some traditionally hot hussy.

 

[Darthphere]

You know something, I think if you're older than 21 and haven't gotten sexed yet for something other than religious reasons, IMO it's ********. All this, I'm waiting for the right girl or guy blah blah blah. I find this to be incredibly hard to believe. If it actually is true, I highly respect that and actually thank you for such a deep resolve. But in my opinion 9 times out of 10, you just haven't been able to get laid.

 

[The Squirrel]

You know something, I think if you're older than 21 and haven't gotten sexed yet for something other than religious reasons, IMO it's ********. All this, I'm waiting for the right girl or guy blah blah blah. I find this to be incredibly hard to believe. If it actually is true, I highly respect that and actually thank you for such a deep resolve. But in my opinion 9 times out of 10, you just haven't been able to get laid.

It's a good argument. I've only had one long term relationship, and we didn't do it. Though we got close. I can't say what will happen when I end up in another relationship, I can only state what I plan to do. Which would be to wait until I'm married.

 

[Darthphere]

I can't blame anyone for not just stating "You know, I just haven't been able to get laid. I've tried but so far nothing." Because then you'd have guys like me saying you're putting the vag on a pedestal.

 

[piccolo]

Yeah, I get that -- I'd be unsteady, too. I guess just the way your post was worded sounded odd to me. My apologies.

I still believe that society/parents in general should try and promote health and well-being instead of complete and utter abstinence, which more often than not leads to unsafe practices, lying/sneaking around, and a lack of general knowledge/common sense on the subject.

I'm just channeling the irrational mind of the father of a teenage daughter. I'd probably go nuts the first time she even looked at a guy. If my little princess daughter wants to have sex and use birth control, whatever, its going to happen and I can't stop it. I just don't want to hear anything about it. At all. Ever. Especially not before she's, oh, lets say 30, much less in her teens.

Of course, i'm the same guy who's convinced himself women don't take *****s.

 

[Erzengel]

You know something, I think if you're older than 21 and haven't gotten sexed yet for something other than religious reasons, IMO it's ********. All this, I'm waiting for the right girl or guy blah blah blah. I find this to be incredibly hard to believe. If it actually is true, I highly respect that and actually thank you for such a deep resolve. But in my opinion 9 times out of 10, you just haven't been able to get laid.

Darth, thanks for putting what I was delicately trying to say.

I've been reading I'm this age, and I'm still a virgin and I'm waiting for that right girl. Stop it. I was the same way. High school it was I'm going to wait til I'm married. College it turned to someone I was in love with and it turned to someone I was with for less than a week.

 

[AndThePickles]

I'm just channeling the irrational mind of the father of a teenage daughter. I'd probably go nuts the first time she even looked at a guy. If my little princess daughter wants to have sex and use birth control, whatever, its going to happen and I can't stop it. I just don't want to hear anything about it. At all. Ever. Especially not before she's, oh, lets say 30, much less in her teens.

Of course, i'm the same guy who's convinced himself women don't take *****s.

Oh, I totally get it. I just wish that fathers would NOT react that way for the sake of their daughter's health. For example, as a result of my own father's reaction, I was not on the pill when I first started having sex. Thank goodness condoms were enough, but still. I would think that a father would ultimately feel more comfortable knowing that his daughter was trying to prevent pregnancy in multiple ways.

 

[katie_girl09]

Darth, thanks for putting what I was delicately trying to say.

I've been reading I'm this age, and I'm still a virgin and I'm waiting for that right girl. Stop it. I was the same way. High school it was I'm going to wait til I'm married. College it turned to someone I was in love with and it turned to someone I was with for less than a week.

But that is just your personal experience.

And to be honest, it really isn't all that hard to find someone to sleep with. There are lots of people out there who will get with anything for the sake of having sex. Some of you people make it sound like losing your virginity is some kind of uber-difficult achievement. It really isn't.

 

[katie_girl09]

Ah, I gotcha. When you phrase it that way, that leads me to re-phrase how it is for me, as well: None of us give intimate details about our sex life in terms of too-personal details. We all know each other's boyfriends and it'd be very bizarre/awkward to hear intimate details about the way someone's penis looks, etc. We all moreso talk about sex in general, what we like, new tricks to try, toys, etc. Or, "he and I tried _____," it was awesome.

Okay. I see.

 

[Hound55]

"Go to your room! You're grounded til you're 30 or your first Nobel prize!"

 

[Erzengel]

But that is just your personal experience.

And to be honest, it really isn't all that hard to find someone to sleep with. There are lots of people out there who will get with anything for the sake of having sex. Some of you people make it sound like losing your virginity is some kind of uber-difficult achievement. It really isn't.

You're a woman it's a little different.

I'm not saying it's some sort of achievement but if your average guy is saying, yeah I'm a virgin but I'm waiting for that right girl usually equates to yeah I'm waiting for that first girl to give me an opportunity. Yeah there are guys who are waiting for a specific person but more often times than not they aren't.

 

[Anita18]

Also for those who are still virgins, are you virgins on principle or lack of opportunity?

I was a virgin until I was 25 and it was a bit of both. I know I'm not ugly (some folks here can attest to that ), but I still wasn't very popular with the guys. Part of that was because of being an extremely shy, introverted hermit, and part of it was because I had some standards. I'm sure if I wanted to get a guy, it would have been really easy. But as Cher says in Clueless, "You see how picky I am with shoes, and they only go on my feet!"

And sometimes you just don't meet the right person to physically jive with. A little while ago my sister asked what it was like having sex, which partly surprised me because she's dated a whole lot more guys than I have. But it happens - many people who seem mature simply aren't ready for sex. I was with my first bf 1.5 years and we didn't have sex. Probably because we were both virgins and made it a huge deal. We're both in happy long-term relationships now (he's married) so obviously it didn't scar us too badly.

But that is just your personal experience.

And to be honest, it really isn't all that hard to find someone to sleep with. There are lots of people out there who will get with anything for the sake of having sex. Some of you people make it sound like losing your virginity is some kind of uber-difficult achievement. It really isn't.

As mentioned above, it's not necessarily "difficult," but the opportunity doesn't arise for whatever reason. It doesn't mean that something is wrong with you.

 

[Erzengel]

Again, you're a woman too. From a male perspective, for the most part, males are different.

And I'm not saying there's something wrong with anyone who is a virgin for whatever reasons they are.

I'm just saying be honest.

 

[Conebone69]

Im 19, and I lost it when I was 16...

 

[knowsbleed]

It is different for males...

It's only obvious that if an average looking male and an average looking female were to put out to an audience that they were willing to have sex with anybody there, the female would receive much more response... that is if the male were to receive any at all.

 

[Anita18]

Again, you're a woman too. From a male perspective, for the most part, males are different.

And I'm not saying there's something wrong with anyone who is a virgin for whatever reasons they are.

I'm just saying be honest.

Yeah, my ex was really hung up about being a virgin in college but didn't have the balls funny to go all the way with me. Then again he was hung up about A LOT of things in college....

Honestly, I think virginity only bothers you if you let it, even if you're a guy. My current bf wasn't a virgin when he met me, but he got extremely nervous the first couple of times he was with me. If you get my drift... I was more relaxed than he was, and I was the virgin. I shouldn't be able to tell the difference, right? Getting him comfortable actually helped me get comfortable with the fact that sex wasn't really a big deal, and it certainly isn't what you see on TV.

So in that way, just because you've had sex at all doesn't mean you're some sex god the way the mainstream media defines it. It's just a number you can check off and you might as well lie to your partner if it's really that important to save face. Yeesh.