This Just In! Phones receive and make calls!

[Darthphere]

Am I the only with this problem? A friend or significant other gets in touch with you and they're like "Wow, you've been lost? Where have you been?" Your response is almost always "Here". As if you've been in the rain forest out of contact for weeks. They're like "You don't hang out or call anymore, what's up?" *****, your phone makes calls too you know?

In my personal case, I've been in a semi-depressing mood and I honestly haven't felt the need to go out a lot or anything. I stay home and play video games and I'm on here. It's not because I'm being anti-social but those of you who know about my situation can probably realize why I don't feel like partying and going out. This is why it bothers me when friends tell me "I've been lost." I'm at home all the time and I have a cellphone. You can call me or come over anytime. It seems sometimes, I'm only a friend if I go out and party with them, which I'm totally not in the mood for right now. I know this isn't true because I have really good friends but sometimes I'm like "Dude, you can call me you don't have to wait for me to call you."

Does anyone else have this problem?

 

[Erzengel]

I sometimes see you playing Darth and think, I just saw him on the internet.

 

[Casius--J]

Yeah I know exactly what you mean, always get the where have you been haven't spoken to you in ages. To that I'm like err You have my phone number, my email address and my facebook so i'm not totally out of touch :/

 

[Paroxysm]

No, but I do have a problem with a friend that sounds quite a bit like you (no offense).

Every time I call him he's doing the same thing, sitting on his computer or playing video games. He never wants to go out and do anything. Every call his basically the same

"Hey whats up"

"Not much, just playing video games"

He doesn't really stay in contact with anyone unless it's over a computer and now I barely call him now because he actually does feel like he's lost. I used to go over to his house all the time, we'd hang out with our friends, chill out.

Then when I would call him and invite him somewhere he'd say something like "No thanks but you guys can come over here and hangout if you want."

I got tired of doing the same thing every time I hung out with him.

he's a good friend and I know he's gone through some stuff (everyone has or does) so I guess I just have to wait for him to snap out of it.

or cancel his cable and internet.

 

[knowsbleed]

Hmm... those types of friends... you need to go and remove all potentially dangerous items that could cause/tempt him to do something harmful/drastic/interesting to himself.

 

[Darthphere]

No, but I do have a problem with a friend that sounds quite a bit like you (no offense).

Every time I call him he's doing the same thing, sitting on his computer or playing video games. He never wants to go out and do anything. Every call his basically the same

"Hey whats up"

"Not much, just playing video games"

He doesn't really stay in contact with anyone unless it's over a computer and now I barely call him now because he actually does feel like he's lost. I used to go over to his house all the time, we'd hang out with our friends, chill out.

Then when I would call him and invite him somewhere he'd say something like "No thanks but you guys can come over here and hangout if you want."

I got tired of doing the same thing every time I hung out with him.

he's a good friend and I know he's gone through some stuff (everyone has or does) so I guess I just have to wait for him to snap out of it.

or cancel his cable and internet.

The thing is, I enjoy going out. But not every single goddamn night. It's not like I'm stuck to my computer or Xbox. I went to a friend's house the other night and went to watch the UFC PPV last Saturday. But sometimes, I don't feel like doing anything and when I tell them that, I become the bad guy and the guy who's "lost".

 

[Erzengel]

The thing is, I enjoy going out. But not every single goddamn night. It's not like I'm stuck to my computer or Xbox. I went to a friend's house the other night and went to watch the UFC PPV last Saturday. But sometimes, I don't feel like doing anything and when I tell them that, I become the bad guy and the guy who's "lost".

No, you submit, do you hear? You be strong, you survive... You stay alive, no matter what occurs! I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you.

 

[Darthphere]

No, you submit, do you hear? You be strong, you survive... You stay alive, no matter what occurs! I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you.

 

[SpideyVille]

Am I the only with this problem? A friend or significant other gets in touch with you and they're like "Wow, you've been lost? Where have you been?" Your response is almost always "Here". As if you've been in the rain forest out of contact for weeks. They're like "You don't hang out or call anymore, what's up?" *****, your phone makes calls too you know?

In my personal case, I've been in a semi-depressing mood and I honestly haven't felt the need to go out a lot or anything. I stay home and play video games and I'm on here. It's not because I'm being anti-social but those of you who know about my situation can probably realize why I don't feel like partying and going out. This is why it bothers me when friends tell me "I've been lost." I'm at home all the time and I have a cellphone. You can call me or come over anytime. It seems sometimes, I'm only a friend if I go out and party with them, which I'm totally not in the mood for right now. I know this isn't true because I have really good friends but sometimes I'm like "Dude, you can call me you don't have to wait for me to call you."

Does anyone else have this problem?

Actually, I was in the same situation not so long ago. I used to go to this place every week that's kinda far from my house and I knew a lot of people there, but before my last semester started, I decided to stop going because my heart wasn't into the making the trip anymore and I just need some alone time to figure out whoo I was and what I wanted to do without having anyone try to influence me to do something that I didn't want to do, since I usually have a hard time saying no to people. So I lost contact with a bunch of them, and I wasn't really talking to anyone except for the few people I knew at school.

After the semester ended, I stopped talking to everyone period and stood home for about a month because I just didn't feel like going out. But for my birthday, which was a couple of weeks ago, people kept contacting me to say happy birthday and to find out where I was. But there was a certain group of people that were very persistent, and kept telling me that they wanted to see me since it's been months and I sorta just disappeared. My response was "I'm here at the same place I've always been at," and they would always respond, "well we miss you and want to see you."

Now what I keep wondering is, if they really want to see me, wouldn't they come and make the trip. I mean, I've made it clear that I don't plan on going back anytime soon, and if I do go, I know they will try to force me into staying, which is why I've avoided them on purpose for a while. But it just makes me feel like they don't really miss me, they just want me to go back, and honestly, I don't want to.

 

[Erzengel]

Why don't you tell them to come visit you?

 

[Darthphere]

Actually, I was in the same situation not so long ago. I used to go to this place every week that's kinda far from my house and I knew a lot of people there, but before my last semester started, I decided to stop going because my heart wasn't into the making the trip anymore and I just need some alone time to figure out whoo I was and what I wanted to do without having anyone try to influence me to do something that I didn't want to do, since I usually have a hard time saying no to people. So I lost contact with a bunch of them, and I wasn't really talking to anyone except for the few people I knew at school.

After the semester ended, I stopped talking to everyone period and stood home for about a month because I just didn't feel like going out. But for my birthday, which was a couple of weeks ago, people kept contacting me to say happy birthday and to find out where I was. But there was a certain group of people that were very persistent, and kept telling me that they wanted to see me since it's been months and I sorta just disappeared. My response was "I'm here at the same place I've always been at," and they would always respond, "well we miss you and want to see you."

Now what I keep wondering is, if they really want to see me, wouldn't they come and make the trip. I mean, I've made it clear that I don't plan on going back anytime soon, and if I do go, I know they will try to force me into staying, which is why I've avoided them on purpose for a while. But it just makes me feel like they don't really miss me, they just want me to go back, and honestly, I don't want to.

I feel that in friendships, like a lot of relationships there has to be compromise. Some give and take. A lot of the times, things breakdown when there's more take than give. For example, I'm not a club guy at all. I live in Miami so going to the club it's a way of life. I do go when these people ask me to go sometimes, I have a good time and that's it. I don't plan on living at the club though. But if I invited them to a comic con, they straight up would not go. I remember buying baseball tickets for the whole group after they agreed to go and some of them sold out on the day because "They didn't like baseball." Which is ******** to me.

 

[Nathan]

Does anyone else have this problem?

Nope. I'm the same. I stay home, play games, hate to party. The only places I go are work or martial arts practice. But my friends have known me like this for years. So I never get to hear stuff like I've fallen off the grid or something.

If anything, they'd be more suprised if I'd actually call them.

 

[SWAT]

Hah! No one calls me, cause I have no friends.... *ForeverAlone*

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I have a few "friends" now who communicate with me exclusively through texts and it's infuriating. There is one girl who texts me every single day and I've never heard her voice. I think I freaked her out this weekend because I told her I wanted to hear what she sounded like, which I admit sounds creepy, but I simply cannot engage with someone on a personal level without having met them or having heard what they sound like. Most people I meet or know who are over 25 will call me, at least every once in a while, but the under 22 crowd are nearly impossible to get on the phone. My biggest problem with texting is most of what's said is not serious. People fail to follow through on what they text to you far more often than what is said directly over the phone or in person.

 

[Mace Dolex]

People don't talk anymore, I'm just an anti-social person so I can relate.

 

[SpideyVille]

Why don't you tell them to come visit you?

In a way I don't want them to, but I have told them and only one of them came because he really did miss me since the last time he saw me was at his wedding during the summer.

But this might make it a little clearer. I know them all from church. I've known them for about 3 years and the way things work there, so I know what to expect. I stopped going because I needed some time to reflect on myself since my heart wasn't into it anymore. And I know that by telling me to go there, they think that I'm suddenly going to want to start going back again, even though I've told them I'll go back when I feel ready. It's almost like their way of convincing why I need to go back, and that's not something I want to deal with. They mean well and I know it, but aside from church, we were never really close, so it's hard to even want to stay friends, especially since they live closer to the church than me and its an easier trip for them.

I feel that in friendships, like a lot of relationships there has to be compromise. Some give and take. A lot of the times, things breakdown when there's more take than give. For example, I'm not a club guy at all. I live in Miami so going to the club it's a way of life. I do go when these people ask me to go sometimes, I have a good time and that's it. I don't plan on living at the club though. But if I invited them to a comic con, they straight up would not go. I remember buying baseball tickets for the whole group after they agreed to go and some of them sold out on the day because "They didn't like baseball." Which is ******** to me.

I agree. I mean sometimes its usually more giving on my part, but when it comes to actually going out and stuff, its hard because I was never really a person who liked to go out and do stuff. I prefer staying home and doing things together. But when I do go out, I want it to at least be somewhere I want to go. Like before I used to hang out with my friends and follow them where ever they went. But then I saw that for the most part, they wouldn't want to go where I wanted to go. So I realized sometimes you just gotta find new people to do things with, which is hard. But like I remember being invited to NYCC by these girls I barely knew in one of my classes. It was easier to go with them since I didn't know anyone else who would've wanted to come if I invited them.

 

[Spidey-Bat]

I'm very similar. I don't drink which eliminates 90% of the reason why people my age go out. I'm also picky when it comes to movies, very little interests me and I don't feel like spending $14 just to get to the theater. I'm still into video games but only a few (like 2 or 3) are still into games. There just isn't that much for me to do with my friends.

 

[Wolfwood]

I had an ex like that. I would send her text messages and try to call her, when she didn't respond I just left it alone. Weeks later she would send me a message on Facebook asking "Why don't you talk to me anymore?" or "Why don't we go out?" Drives me nuts. I do my best not to bother with her anymore though she likes to hit me up every now and then to see if I still care about her. She's a weird chick.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I had an ex like that. I would send her text messages and try to call her, when she didn't respond I just left it alone. Weeks later she would send me a message on Facebook asking "Why don't you talk to me anymore?" or "Why don't we go out?" Drives me nuts. I do my best not to bother with her anymore though she likes to hit me up every now and then to see if I still care about her. She's a weird chick.

I've met/been with several girls like this. The text message seems very non-committal to me. Usually my friends who are older than 26 or 27 still have some skills in making plans and sticking to what they say they will do. Most of these young twenty-somethings I've tried to get with act exactly like the way you described. I can't tell you how many times someone will text me something and then not follow through. It's gotten to the point where I don't take it seriously ever.

 

[Darthphere]

I'm very similar. I don't drink which eliminates 90% of the reason why people my age go out. I'm also picky when it comes to movies, very little interests me and I don't feel like spending $14 just to get to the theater. I'm still into video games but only a few (like 2 or 3) are still into games. There just isn't that much for me to do with my friends.

Very true. I'll have a beer or two every once in a while but usually, I'm not into drinking til I explode and wake up like **** the next day. I tend to not do things I know are bad for me, other than overeating.

 

[Erzengel]

You know I agree with most of you to a point. I'm more of a homebody. But I think every once and a while even if you have to drag yourself out, you should make an effort.

 

[Darthphere]

You know I agree with most of you to a point. I'm more of a homebody. But I think every once and a while even if you have to drag yourself out, you should make an effort.

Yeah, like I said, I enjoy going out, but not every night. I don't think anyone should stay home for the rest of their lives.

 

[Johnny Drama]

Am I the only with this problem? A friend or significant other gets in touch with you and they're like "Wow, you've been lost? Where have you been?" Your response is almost always "Here". As if you've been in the rain forest out of contact for weeks. They're like "You don't hang out or call anymore, what's up?" *****, your phone makes calls too you know?

In my personal case, I've been in a semi-depressing mood and I honestly haven't felt the need to go out a lot or anything. I stay home and play video games and I'm on here. It's not because I'm being anti-social but those of you who know about my situation can probably realize why I don't feel like partying and going out. This is why it bothers me when friends tell me "I've been lost." I'm at home all the time and I have a cellphone. You can call me or come over anytime. It seems sometimes, I'm only a friend if I go out and party with them, which I'm totally not in the mood for right now. I know this isn't true because I have really good friends but sometimes I'm like "Dude, you can call me you don't have to wait for me to call you."

Does anyone else have this problem?

Yeah, I've been there. I'm a recluse lately myself, and because I am a parent of a 2 year old I really can't afford to party nor can I pay a sitter when I do go out so most nights. But I welcome all my friends to hang out at my house, but they would rather go club hopping downtown or whatever which I understand, not a lot of fun you can have in a house with a baby where you have to watch your language and keep your voice down. Still, I wish certain friends wouldn't act like I was "abandoned them" because I had to grow up.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

You know I agree with most of you to a point. I'm more of a homebody. But I think every once and a while even if you have to drag yourself out, you should make an effort.

I wouldn't call myself a homebody, but I detest most bars. I think the only bars I ever looked forward to going to were in Ireland, and those are a pretty stark contrast to the ones we have here. My friends drag me to bars pretty regularly though, and I wonder whether they even like them (they say they do). They're noisey and crowded, everyone in there has a bad f***ing attitude, and the drinks are expensive. I have two great roommates (both bartenders) to drink with, and my house is in a good location to bring friends over. Moreover, I'm not a homebody, but when I do go out on my own volition I like to do big things like go on roadtrips or take a cruise or something planned out. I find they're more fun and more rewarding than just a hangover.

 

[Erzengel]

Well wouldn't roadtrips or a cruise count as a vacation?

I'm talking about, it's been a month or 2 since you've seen your friends, make an effort to go out.