Tips for all you Virgin Dork, on how to get laid and be a PIMP

[Knightsaber Priss]

I like how it says because seriously I don't think this guy came up with it on his own is how he says $40.00 is all you should pay but you should also buy her a few drinks. Where does one go and pay for dinner and drinks for under $40.00?

McDonald's or Wendy's?

 

[Mr. Credible]

while i dissagree on your view on woman/dating as a whole, you actually have a few pretty good pointers... nothing i didn't know before, mind you, but still good.

 

[Erzengel]

while i dissagree on your view on woman/dating as a whole, you actually have a few pretty good pointers... nothing i didn't know before, mind you, but still good.

Except for the fact that you don't know that real breasts c and bigger sag.

 

[Erzengel]

McDonald's or Wendy's?

They serve alcohol?

 

[Odin's Lapdog]

no one is ever going to take any of those tips on board

 

[8Ball2/JanG5]

"If a woman begins to carry on a conversation on her cell phone while on a date with you, you can assume shes setting up another date for later in the night. In other words, youre footing the bill to provide her with a nice evening, and some other guy (probably me) is gonna get laid for your effort. So, if she begins to carry on a conversation on her phone, quietly excuse yourself and leave. When the two of you are out, you get to be number one, and if she cant give you that respect, you need to quite wasting your time and money. She can pay for dinners once she realizes youre gone."

Uh, any sane woman would think you are the worst boyfriend ever. Girls talk to EVERYONE on a cell phone, and to say you ended the relationship because she simply talked to her mom/sister/friend/classmate on the phone, is insane.

 

[Duende Verde]

Uh, any sane woman would think you are the worst boyfriend ever. Girls talk to EVERYONE on a cell phone, and to say you ended the relationship because she simply talked to her mom/sister/friend/classmate on the phone, is insane.

But this is not a dating guide or a manual on how to be a better boyfriend, it's a pimp's guide to getting laid. There's a huge difference there.

 

[Immortalfire]

This is stupid.

 

[Calvin]

- Women love to mark their territory. This is why women leave hair clips, earrings, underwear and tampons behind once they have spent the night. Gather all of these things up, and place them in a lost and found box. Whenever a woman asks if youve seen her "scrunchy" you simply tell her to check in the lost and found.

I like this one

 

[Hades]

I like this one

Hahaha, i didn't notice that one before. It's hillarious.

 

[Calvin]

I'd heard all the other stuff before, but not that one, and quite frankly, it's pretty clever. I'll definitely be using that one from now on.

 

[PLAS]

I remember when I used to think like that

then I grew up

 

[Maxwell Smart]

wow, you give a lot of interesting advice Wack.

It seems like one of the main points you're making is to avoid being needy and/or "available".

 

[Maxwell Smart]

I remember when I used to think like that

then I grew up

Well, the world isn't a fair place. Sometimes you have to be cutthroat to make it. It'd be nice if it was like how movies portray things and you could just spill your guts and grovel and get the girl, but that doesn't actually work.

 

[Whack Arnolds]

I hope this was only posted for parody purposes only.

Of course, lol.

 

[Calvin]

Maxwell, I don't mean this in an offensive way, but even though these aren't anything to live by, for a beginner like yourself, I'd endorse some of them for you, until you find some sort of groove.

 

[Whack Arnolds]

wow, you give a lot of interesting advice Wack.

It seems like one of the main points you're making is to avoid being needy and/or "available".

Well, even though this is a parody...if you tap into most of THAT stuff...it will work. Sometime I see guys just trying to be super nice all the time and ****, but it just doesn't work like that.

 

[Whack Arnolds]

Maxwell, I don't mean this in an offensive way, but even though these aren't anything to live by, for a beginner like yourself, I'd endorse some of them for you, until you find some sort of groove.

Yeah, that;s the point. In no way, live by these codes...I'm just saying it as a parody but there are MANY methods that will work wonders for you if you employ some of them into your habits.

 

[Calvin]

Well, even though this is a parody...if you tap into most of THAT stuff...it will work. Sometime I see guys just trying to be super nice all the time and ****, but it just doesn't work like that.

Exactly, it's parody for anyone that's been at it for a long time, but for someone like MS, who, self-admittedly, is completely lost, it wouldn't hurt to take some of it and try to use it in some capacity.

 

[Maxwell Smart]

Maxwell, I don't mean this in an offensive way, but even though these aren't anything to live by, for a beginner like yourself, I'd endorse some of them for you, until you find some sort of groove.

Believe me, I'm way ahead of you there. I know that Whack meant this to be kind of a joke by the way he wrote it, but a lot of its true like he said. He just said it in a funny way.

 

[Whack Arnolds]

Uh, any sane woman would think you are the worst boyfriend ever. Girls talk to EVERYONE on a cell phone, and to say you ended the relationship because she simply talked to her mom/sister/friend/classmate on the phone, is insane.

Learn how to read, *****e McCalister. In no where on here does it say she is your girlfriend, or even a potential. Just someone you're dating for the first time, and are looking to get busy with (which generally, is the point). I think this entire thing just FLEW over your head. If you barely know this girl, and you take her out and she talks on her phone...get up and leave. If she wants you she will follow, if not, she gets the bill. It's like, Why waste each other's time?

 

[Calvin]

I still think the lost and found this is f'king fantastic though, parody aside.

 

[Calvin]

Learn how to read, *****e McCalister. In no where on here does it say she is your girlfriend, or even a potential. Just someone you're dating for the first time, and are looking to get busy with (which generally, is the point). I think this entire thing just FLEW over your head. If you barely know this girl, and you take her out and she talks on her phone...get up and leave. If she wants you she will follow, if not, she gets the bill. It's like, Why waste each other's time?

I'd actually do that to a pal, HUGE pet peeve of mine.

 

[Erzengel]

From what I can tell Maxwell isn't looking for just the hook up, I'm sure if he met a nice girl he'd find his nitch on what does and doesn't work.

 

[Whack Arnolds]

Bump the $40 dollar rule up to maybe $70 or $80 because of inflation.