Tips for all you Virgin Dork, on how to get laid and be a PIMP

[Calvin]

From what I can tell Maxwell isn't looking for just the hook up, I'm sure if he met a nice girl he'd find his nitch on what does and doesn't work.

Getting the hook up can be good practice ground though.

 

[Whack Arnolds]

I'd actually do that to a pal, HUGE pet peeve of mine.

Exactly. I'd do it to one of my boys too... but they rarely talk on their cell that much. God knows, I hate to.

 

[Erzengel]

Getting the hook up can be good practice ground though.

I'm really not trying to be mean here but that's too much for someone like him. He has to learn just to talk to girls first and I think having a girlfriend would be more beneficial to him at this time than trying to just score.

 

[Darren Daring]

Has Maxwell ever gotten a girl using his new "I'm a dickface" routine?

 

[Whack Arnolds]

Getting the hook up can be good practice ground though.

Exactly, of all people...Calvin gets it. You can't settle with "the right girl" unless you date a ***** TON and know and find out what you actually like. Otherwise, you'll just settle for something, as opposed to truly getting what you want. Know what I mean?

 

[Calvin]

I'm really not trying to be mean here but that's too much for someone like him. He has to learn just to talk to girls first and I think having a girlfriend would be more beneficial to him at this time than trying to just score.

I dunno, I've known some guys like him before, and all they really needed was some confidence. Sometimes a successful date can do that. Even if it's not actual sex, if they get far enough, it can do wonders, and I've seen it help out a LOT with getting into actual relationships.

 

[Calvin]

Exactly, of all people...Calvin gets it. You can't settle with "the right girl" unless you date a ***** TON and know and find out what you actually like. Otherwise, you'll just settle for something, as opposed to truly getting what you want. Know what I mean?

Of all people?

 

[Whack Arnolds]

Of all people?

I meant as in, "of all the people viewing and responding in the afore mentioned thread". Better?

Not as in, you experienced... yadda yadda

 

[Maxwell Smart]

Has Maxwell ever gotten a girl using his new "I'm a dickface" routine?

It worked well on your mom.

I'm really not trying to be mean here but that's too much for someone like him. He has to learn just to talk to girls first and I think having a girlfriend would be more beneficial to him at this time than trying to just score.

You're absolutely right. I need to do trial and error to figure out how to act, what works and what doesn't. I think if you're out just trying to score with different chicks, thats not necessarily the best testing ground because they are probably expecting more from you and are going to be less tolerant if you **** up, but if you're steady with someone they will be more patient maybe.

 

[Calvin]

I meant as in, "of all the people viewing and responding in the afore mentioned thread". Better?

Not as in, you experienced... yadda yadda

Was kidding around. Though, "of all people" does usually imply that it's surprising. Seemed odd, considering that most people think I'm an a**hole.

 

[Darren Daring]

It worked well on your mom.

The fact that you're still using a your mom joke tells me no.

 

[Calvin]

The fact that you're still using a your mom joke tells me no.

You used one yesterday.

 

[Darren Daring]

You used one yesterday.

I did not.

 

[Calvin]

I did not.

Did so.

 

[Maxwell Smart]

I had this idea before, you guys tell me what you think...

Since I don't have very much experience asking girls out, approaching is what I really need to work on first. My main problem is I get too nervous, because I'm afraid of the rejection. I NEED to de-sensitize myself to rejection so I don't get worked up about approaching.

So I figure a way I could do that is by making a goal for myself to get REJECTED by at least ten girls within say a couple of weeks or something. Yes, actually TRY to get rejections. Think of it like having a splinter in your arm, it hurts, you want it out, and you have three options:

1)you can work it out slowly
2)you can do nothing about it
3) or you can jerk it out real quick and get it over with.

I figure if I try to rack up some rejections its like number 3, I'm getting the rejection thing over with so I can move to approaching without fear.

 

[Erzengel]

Exactly, of all people...Calvin gets it. You can't settle with "the right girl" unless you date a ***** TON and know and find out what you actually like. Otherwise, you'll just settle for something, as opposed to truly getting what you want. Know what I mean?

It's not that most people here are a bunch of Maxwells. And while what you posted is a parody it is something of a case of been there done that for some of us. So it's not so much of some people not "getting it" but most of them moving past that.

 

[Darren Daring]

Your mom jokes are worse than puns, I would never use one, except to mock people like Maxwell Smart. Who is a virgin, by the way.

 

[Calvin]

I had this idea before, you guys tell me what you think...

Since I don't have very much experience asking girls out, approaching is what I really need to work on first. My main problem is I get too nervous, because I'm afraid of the rejection. I NEED to de-sensitize myself to rejection so I don't get worked up about approaching.

So I figure a way I could do that is by making a goal for myself to get REJECTED by at least ten girls within say a couple of weeks or something. Yes, actually TRY to get rejections. Think of it like having a splinter in your arm, it hurts, you want it out, and you have three options:

1)you can work it out slowly
2)you can do nothing about it
3) or you can jerk it out real quick and get it over with.

I figure if I try to rack up some rejections its like number 3, I'm getting the rejection thing over with so I can move to approaching without fear.

That's close, but it shouldn't be the primary logic, it should be secondary (thirdary?).

 

[Calvin]

Your mom jokes are worse than puns, I would never use one, except to mock people like Maxwell Smart. Who is a virgin, by the way.

Your mom's a virgin.

 

[Maxwell Smart]

It's not that most people here are a bunch of Maxwells.

Hey!

Your mom jokes are worse than puns, I would never use one, except to mock people like Maxwell Smart. Who is a virgin, by the way.

Yup so what?

 

[Darren Daring]

Your mom's a virgin.

Toven gave you her sex tape to convine you to not make any sense, didn't she? Web of Lies!

 

[Erzengel]

Hey!



Yup so what?

I should have added "no offense".

 

[Darren Daring]

Hey!



Yup so what?

Wasn't the point of adopting your tough guy, ******* persona to meet chicks?

 

[Maxwell Smart]

Your mom's a virgin.

Brodie is Jesus!?

 

[Calvin]

Here's another bit of advice. Believe it or not, ENJOY these times, MS. Seriously. It's much much much more fun that having to deal with ex-gf bulls**t, frustration, broken hearts, sorrow drowning, etc. Enjoy the early levels, because usually, if you actually do wind up with a lot of success, you'll wind up in the s**t. And it sucks more than you can imagine right now. Have fun learning. Seriously.