Trying to convince someone to put their baby up for adoption.

[Tangled Web]

I have a friend and he got this girl pregnant. He is as scared as **** and she wants to not only have the baby, but keep it too. He wants me to convince her that it is not the right idea. I told him I would try. I sent her the following message:

Look, I can't tell you what to do. He says that you want to have the baby. I think that is a noble thing to do. What he also told me is that you want to keep the baby and raise it. While that seems noble also, you have to take some time to think about it.

For one thing, you and he are both young. You should be able to enjoy your life without having to worry about being responsible for a child. A baby will change everything. For one thing the baby will be missing out on parents who can take care of it with great care. For another thing both you and Neal are compromising your futures. I don't know about you, but I know Neal is a very bright kid and he has dreams for his future. It would be a shame to see those dreams come to an end because of this. Likewise, it would be a shame for a child to have parents that can't take good care of it.

I'm afraid that she'll respond to me and give me reasons on why she should raise it on her own. So what do you tell a girl in this situation?

 

[Morg]

How old is the girl and the guy?

 

[Super_Child]

How old are they? What kind of financial situation are they in?

 

[Kritish]

I've got a better idea, how about you tell her to get an abortion? Even if she has the kid has puts it up for adoption her life will never be the same.

 

[Tangled Web]

The guy is 17 and she's 16 I think.

As for their financial situation? I guess middle class but not the upper echelon. Suburbanish. I don't know, just average. Not too well off.

 

[Tangled Web]

I've got a better idea, how about you tell her to get an abortion? Even if she has the kid has puts it up for adoption her life will never be the same.

That would be pushing it. Getting someone from raising their baby to giving it up for adoption is already a big task. Plus, I think the expereince would still be with her anyway.

 

[Kritish]

That would be pushing it. Getting someone from raising their baby to giving it up for adoption is already a big task. Plus, I think the expereince would still be with her anyway.

Or you could just stop caring.

 

[Tangled Web]

Now I'm on the clock.

She told me that she was adopted and she can't imagine giving up something that formed inside her.

I'm sad now.

 

[jaguarr]

Sounds like a whole lot of something that isn't any of your damn business, TW. I'd keep your nose out of it.

jag

 

[Demon Within]

an then you told them you were Bi to see there reaction!

 

[muertevilla]

let her take care of it. props to her for having the baby and not wanting to throw it in a dumpster. plus its your friends problem and not yours. you should probably mind your own business. if they were old enough to sleep together then they are old enough to be parents. ****ing kids nowadays always wanting the easy way out.

 

[muertevilla]

its always refreshing to read jag's comments. hello old friend by the way...long time no SHH fer me..

 

[Tangled Web]

Good call. I just told her that it's up to her and whatever she chooses to do I'll support her and my friend's choice.

 

[Crooklyn]

let her take care of it. props to her for having the baby and not wanting to throw it in a dumpster.

Yeah, seriously. At the very least she's owning up to her responsibilities. If you ask me, the guy friend is being the little b!tch in the situation.

Unless the girl is completely unfit to be a parent (excluding age), then I think it's incredibly stupid to "talk her out of it". We're talking about a baby's childhood here. If the mother can, with sacrifices, take care of it, then I see no reason to separate family.

 

[Kritish]

an then you told them you were Bi to see there reaction!

No, then he dry humped her as they listined to disco music.

 

[Tangled Web]

I think it's going to be alright. You're right Crook. If she's able to take care of it alright, then why not? She seems really nice too.

 

[The Original Bamfer]

Either way, what you say will have very little effect on the final decision. I can tell you it's not a good idea to get involved in other peoples' situations - sure he asked you to convince her, but the best thing you could have done was to tell him to use the balls he impregnated her with and tell her himself.

 

[PhotoJones]

I think it's going to be alright. You're right Crook. If she's able to take care of it alright, then why not? She seems really nice too.

i dunno...i think it should be a joint decision. i know it's a woman's body and all, and i support that fully. but at the same time, to keep a baby means a lot of work for more than just her. i think if she was truely a good person she'd take into consideration how he feels and not rush to make a decision so quickly.

 

[jaguarr]

its always refreshing to read jag's comments. hello old friend by the way...long time no SHH fer me..

Good to see you, bro. I've seen you've been busy from your Myspace page.

jag

 

[Mee]

Jag's got it right I think. Just be there for them, don't try to convince them of anything. If they ask for input, then give it.

 

[Tangled Web]

i dunno...i think it should be a joint decision. i know it's a woman's body and all, and i support that fully. but at the same time, to keep a baby means a lot of work for more than just her. i think if she was truely a good person she'd take into consideration how he feels and not rush to make a decision so quickly.

Interesting thing, she told me that she told him that he doesn't have to be involved if he doesn't want to.

 

[hippie_hunter]

I'd stay out of it if I were you. This is between your friend and his girlfriend or booty-call.

 

[PhotoJones]

Interesting thing, she told me that she told him that he doesn't have to be involved if he doesn't want to.

they're both underage, so when it comes to things like child support, he's at the mercy of her parents.

 

[The Squirrel]

If they guy was as bright as you say, he would've kept it in until marriage.

 

[chaseter]

Don't be a fool, wrap your tool. As for the baby, I say don't get in the middle of it because it is not your decision in the first place. The last thing you would want is to cause a rash decision on someone that could later be regretted on either side. If he doesn't want any part of his baby's life, so be it...there have been worse fathers out there.