Wash Your Nasty-Ass Hands!!11!

[kainedamo]

You're the one crying over insults, remember? "how quickly you resort to personal insults"
Like that's some taboo thing to do. Oh no, you're insulting me!
If you actually had a valid point instead of trying to start an argument over something I never said, then maybe I wouldn't have insulted you, but I have no problem calling an idiot and idiot.
You're the one that has to check with everyone else if it's okay to insult someone (and then quickly run away like a coward).

You want to throw insults at me, you're not going to hurt my feelings, and I'm just fine with calling you out on your stupidity.

You said people are paranoid for wanting to wash their hands and being agitated at those that don't want to wash their hands.

And I wasn't really seeking vindication for the pub thing. (Man, everyone on the Hype always reads into **** so much). Just wanted to see peoples views.

 

[Obi-Ron]

So you know what I can't stand? When you pay for a sandwich at a deli counter, and the cashier turns around and starts handling food without putting on gloves or washing up. GROSS. I always insist that they wash their hands and start over.

 

[TNC9852002]

Pwned :d

-tnc

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

i'm the same exact way.

while we're on the topic of pooping at work, there's someone in my building who we've dubbed "the phantom pooper" because at least twice one of us has walked into the bathroom only to find a fresh log floating in the toilet. i've encountered unflushed toilets before, but the grossest part of this little story is the fact that not only did the person not flush their shyte, but there was no toilet paper in the bowl. i can only imagine whoever did it just sat down, squeezed one out, pulled up their pants and walked out the door. that's ****ing disgusting. i've got my suspicions that it's my co-worker who sits righ behind me. he's notorious digging around in his nose, ears, scalp and butt crack. just abysmal personal hygene habits. needless to say i'm extremely liberal with the hand sanitizer whenever he's around and i avoid sitting in any seat he's sat in.

Are you kidding me? That's so fugged up. LOL

That's another peeve of mine: If I do use a public toilet I must make sure my surroundings are clean. If there are 3 stalls, I will check all three and compare which is the most decent. If I see a bowl of lemonade and streaks I'm not using it. And perhaps I'm old fashioned, but I would definitely put down toilet paper on the seat (just like my momma taught me) so that my skin touches the plastic the least amount possible.

But some people don't do this. One time I was at the mall picking my fro in the mirror and this guy literally came running into the restroom. He slammed the stall door behind him. Within mere seconds, I instantly heard the belt unbuckling, pants dropping to the ankles and a resounding

SHKOOMPH!!

That was the sound of dung striking water. I was like, "Dude didn't even check his surroundings before sitting his butt on that joint." I mean....isn't it important to at least clean the toilet a bit first? Let's face it, sometimes people spatter on the front of the bowl...I don't want my jewels bumping against those dried droplets--even accidentally. After all, that junk is toxic!

So it amazes me that some folks are unconcerned about that.

 

[tzarinna]

Ugh.

 

[Killgore]

I have a similar story. One day at work I had a really bad case of the squirts. There were no safe havens in this building, just large community restrooms with half a dozen stalls and urinals. I blitzed into the bathroom and my boss was Uncle Todding it with his boss. I took a sharp right to the urinals. I just stood there, holding it in pretending to pee. They wouldn't stop, and I didn't want to appear to be an unusual long pisser, so I zipped back up washed my hands and went back to my cubicle. I waited another couple of minutes for my bosses to leave. All the while my stomach was going "CHUNK CHA-CHA CHUNK WOBBLE WOBBLE".

They finally left and I made a bee line for the john. Just as I got in the stall, I heard the bathroom door open and someones footsteps walk up to the urinal. I knew that I was about to drop a friggin huge Havana Omelet, so I just clenched up. This guy was an unusually long pisser. And a whistler. So he whistled and pissed while I clenched and clenched. He finally quit, zipped and then he started to BRUSH HIS FRIGGIN TEETH!!! Once again my stomach was all like "CHUNK CHA-CHA CHUNK WOBBLE WOBBLE". It was getting really bad. He finally stopped brushing, and then he started gargling. My brow was sweating profusely, and I started to take off my shirt. I was about to scream at him to get hell out.

By the time he left I was clenched so tight I couldn't go right away. So there I sat, half naked except for a clammy sweat covering my body. My legs were shaking like an Eskimo with a tick and the pressure continued to build. Just as I began to relax, THE DOOR OPENED AGAIN! A really fast clippity clop echoed in the bathroom as someone ran for the stall NEXT TO ME. And he just sat there! It was a showdown of two conscientious crappers. It was completely silent in that bathroom. I couldn't even hear him breathe. Then breaking the silence was the "CHUNK CHA-CHA CHUNK WOBBLE WOBBLE" of my stomach. I clutched my stomach like someone who took a couple of Mike Tyson uppercuts to the gut. And then the unthinkable. I let out a small little "blllfffttt-squeek". As I clenched back down it ended in a high note. I was mortified.

Then from the other stall I heard a whisper of a reply. "Pffft". I took a deep breath and "Bllllllbbbbbbffffftttttt." Once again another reply. "Pfffffffffttttttttt."

And now it was on. It was like a symphony of flatulence. A melody of methane. "Blllllbbbbbffff Pfftt Pfftt Ba Pffft". The combined stench was nauseating. The combined cacophony of crapping that reached a crescendo.

We both whipped and flushed, got dressed and laughed as we opened the bathroom stalls. I poked my head out to see my compatriot in crapping, my soul mate in ****ting. We were both laughing when we looked at each other, but the laughter slammed to an abrupt halt as I saw who he was. He happened to be a she. Not only that, she happened to be the most beautiful girl in the office, the object of my lust, my infatuation, the girl I was trying to get the nerve up to ask out. Apparently she had the same affliction asI did and in her rush to get to the restroom, she went into the men's room. She was as mortified as I.

We didn't wash our hands.

 

[Abaddon]

The Ru Paul picture is ****ing hilarious.

But yeah, I hate when people don't wash.

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

*reads Killgore's Shat Adventure and spits Coke all over laptop screen*

LMAAO!!

 

[Killgore]

I Shat you not, it really happened. We never so much as looked at each other again. It was quite surprising because she was very prim and proper.

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

I Shat you not, it really happened. We never so much as looked at each other again. It was quite surprising because she was very prim and proper.

Well...what can I say?

S**t happens.

 

[Abaddon]

oh god, more feces puns. delicious.

 

[GoldenAgeHero]

how hott was she?

 

[TNC9852002]

The only times I ever take a crap in public is when I'm at work...We have these little employee bathrooms that the customers never use. I feel a little bit more safe when I'm in there...

OMG...the stalls on campus are horrendous...Some people are still using them out of desperation...I'd rather just crap at a urinal...

-TNC

 

[Abaddon]

OMG...the stalls on campus are horrendous...Some people are still using them out of desperation...I'd rather just crap at a urinal...
-TNC

So it was YOU!!

 

[TNC9852002]

So it was YOU!!

-TNC

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

The only times I ever take a crap in public is when I'm at work...We have these little employee bathrooms that the customers never use. I feel a little bit more safe when I'm in there...

Safe? In what way? Someone trying to steal the loaves?

 

[TNC9852002]

Is it safe?



Is it safe?


























Is it safe?

Safe? In what way? Someone trying to steal the loaves?

In terms of cleanliness...Since not as many people use that restroom, I'm less likely to be susceptible to the types of horrors you'd usually find in a typical public restroom.

-TNC

 

[Cinemaman]

lol, never thought there would be thread like this.

Anyway, I wash my hands every hour (it's my childhood habit).

 

[Sugarculted]

Ya see, also I don't touch handles when I leave because if I'm right, two thirds of men don't wash their hands. Gross.

I even lay down three layers of toilet paper before I use the seat.

 

[Killgore]

how hott was she?

Definitely in the top five hottest women I've ever met. She had the biggest breasts on the smallest waist of any woman I've ever seen. Natural too. And severely long legs. Tight, perky little ass. I getting wood just remembering some of the getups she'd wear. *ahem*.

That's what was so startling. She was gorgeous, great smile, great personality and altogether perfect. Never thought sh could shat like a sailor.t:

She was also the whitest black woman I'd ever met. But that's another very funny story for a very different thread.

 

[OverMyHead]

Well, my friend, you're going to have to get used to it.

Where does all the poop go? Into the ocean.

Where do some of us get our water? The ocean.

 

[tzarinna]

I actually worked at the **** plant in DC.
The horror,the horror.

 

[Exploding Boy]

Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?

:hope that wasn't said already :

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

That's gross. ^