Why Do People Pick Sides In Disputes Amongst Friends?

Discussion in 'SHH Community Forum' started by Warhammer, Feb 6, 2013.

  1. Warhammer Half Monk, Half Hitman

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    We've all probably experienced this in some capacity. Here's the quick version of my story. Here's my story in a nutshell.

    Girl #1 (who I considered a best friend) wants nothing to do with me because I hung out with Girl #2 one day. Girl #1 hates Girl #2 because of a love triangle they've been in 3 years ago. Girl #1 finds out that I hung out with Girl #2 and flips s***. I became friends with Girl #2 because Girl #1 introduced me to her, btw. Girl #3 (who I also considered a best friend who also has nothing whatsoever to do with the situation) gets confided by Girl #1 about the situation. Girl #3 goes cold turkey on me and treats me like I don't exist. Girl #1 and Girl #3 then proceeded to ostracize me.

    I promise that the above is factual. Either way, I have become so confused that I rendered it a lost cause. I don't need to be my friends anymore. But still...this may come off as sexist (hell, it probably is), but why do girls do this s***? Are they both insecure as hell? Why did Girl #3 even pick a side? And if she was going to anyway, why did I not get to tell my side of the story? These b****es are crazy.

    :doh:
     
  2. amazingfantasy15 Registered

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    Never get involved in a girl fight/dispute and always take the side of the girl you want to still hang around with.
     
  3. The Guard Registered

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    It's even worse when it comes to relationships/marriages.

    Most people don't have the social skills or the open-mindedness or the emotional strength and sense of fairness to just be able to be a nonbiased listener and supporter without judging someone based on what someone else is saying about that person (and not even talking to them, there are two sides to every story) and effectively making things worse.

    I don't "choose sides", regardless of who is right or wrong in a given matter (that doesn't mean I won't call someone out for their bad behavior), and anyone who asked me to do so would cease being my friend on principle until they got their head out of their ass.
     
  4. Warhammer Half Monk, Half Hitman

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    ^That's the same way I'd wish to believe we all would act like.
     
  5. dodgers2213 Registered

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    biggest advice is not to grovel for forgiveness to ANYONE. There is a chance you'll sort it all out, when cooler heads prevail. Just wait it out and carry on your own life.
     
  6. Joined:
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    I've found myself as a sort of fixer of disputes among friends. I don't like picking sides and it's been very rare that I've had to either. I sort of play both sides and give advice to each person. Everything gets sorted out and I leave with a remedied situation and my friends in tact. I'm lucky I've got a great group of friends that don't always get ridiculously ****** towards each other compared to other groups.
     
  7. Megarob www.digitalbomb.net

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    I have been in similar a situation... After it all went down, I remember thinking two things, 1. If I cared about girl #1, maybe I shouldn't have been hanging out with girl #2. and 2. Drama sucks.

    I try to keep my life drama free. Apologize to everyone, and just let the dust settle. It sounds like you value girl #1's friendship a little more, so, maybe just let her know you are sorry, and when she is ready to talk to you, you will be there.

    Also, I think this thing kinda happens, when you surround you self with girls as best friends. Hang with the dude, they don't care what you do.
     
  8. Duran Man The Seventh Stranger

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    Fortunately, I don't have any frieds, so I don't have to deal with this kind of ****.
     

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