Why Stay Single?

[ComicChick]

why am I single?

hmmm... I don't hate being single, I have no problem being single right now but if something came along I wanted to pursue I wouldn't necessarily turn away from it.

In all actuality and honesty i may talk a big game but I have low self esteem and don't really find myself attractive. I'm very insecure physically and self conscious most of the time. Most of that comes from the environment I grew up in and coming from an unaffectionate family.

 

[Anita18]

why am I single?

hmmm... I don't hate being single, I have no problem being single right now but if something came along I wanted to pursue I wouldn't necessarily turn away from it.

In all actuality and honesty i may talk a big game but I have low self esteem and don't really find myself attractive. I'm very insecure physically and self conscious most of the time. Most of that comes from the environment I grew up in and coming from an unaffectionate family.

It's a myth that you have to have it all figured out before you can be in a relationship. Part of being in one is figuring stuff out together and supporting each other in the journey.

Though, I will say from personal experience that a low self-esteem person being in a relationship with another low self-esteem person can spiral into a vortex of mopey that isn't very pleasant. There's definitely a difference between being honest and wanting to improve something in yourself, and actually having low self-esteem. Like, I ain't no model but I'm pretty confident in my personality, patience, empathy, and intelligence. That's quite a lot going for me, even if I'm no Megan Fox.

 

[ComicChick]

It's a myth that you have to have it all figured out before you can be in a relationship. Part of being in one is figuring stuff out together and supporting each other in the journey.

Though, I will say from personal experience that a low self-esteem person being in a relationship with another low self-esteem person can spiral into a vortex of mopey that isn't very pleasant. There's definitely a difference between being honest and wanting to improve something in yourself, and actually having low self-esteem. Like, I ain't no model but I'm pretty confident in my personality, patience, empathy, and intelligence. That's quite a lot going for me, even if I'm no Megan Fox.

i have a lot of confidence in my personality and intelligence and all the "internal stuff". i think if outward appearance was based on how we are on the inside that i'd be pretty decent looking for sure. but things aren't like that haha

i don't think i'm an ogre, but i guess growing up never hearing i was pretty or anything i just don't really thing that way of myself.

and i don't mean that as a pity party, woe is me type of thing. just happened i grew up in a home where we aren't really affectionate, emotional or complimentary much.

 

[SpideyVille]

and i don't mean that as a pity party, woe is me type of thing. just happened i grew up in a home where we aren't really affectionate, emotional or complimentary much.

Yeah, the same happened with me. My mom never really did all the hug and kissing stuff, and she's a pretty big pessimist so she never gave any positive reinforcement to any of us and its kinda stuck with me. I even think part of the reason why I've always wanted a relationship so badly is because I want to find someone who will love me and show me that love to fill that void.

 

[Anita18]

i have a lot of confidence in my personality and intelligence and all the "internal stuff". i think if outward appearance was based on how we are on the inside that i'd be pretty decent looking for sure. but things aren't like that haha

i don't think i'm an ogre, but i guess growing up never hearing i was pretty or anything i just don't really thing that way of myself.

and i don't mean that as a pity party, woe is me type of thing. just happened i grew up in a home where we aren't really affectionate, emotional or complimentary much.

I actually think our outward appearance is partly based on how we are on the inside. I'd bet most people would pick a genuinely kind face over a fake gussied-up one. I'm a happy-go-lucky person and I smile all the time, that definitely has an effect on how I look and how people react to me. Not that it attracts a TON of guys, but I've so far attracted a few very nice ones so I'm not complaining.

My family isn't like that either. People tell me I'm pretty and I'm like, " Are you sure?" I'm no ogre either and I definitely have moments where I feel pretty (and feel like being pretty and go out in a dress and makeup), but it's definitely not something on my mind all that often. I'm much prouder of my achievements and my capabilities, for sure.

Not paying attention to how I look sure makes me confused when I DO have to show up somewhere nicely dressed, though! I'm afraid I'll have no idea what to wear/do if I ever find myself in a job that isn't in a lab.

 

[ComicChick]

I actually think our outward appearance is partly based on how we are on the inside. I'd bet most people would pick a genuinely kind face over a fake gussied-up one. I'm a happy-go-lucky person and I smile all the time, that definitely has an effect on how I look and how people react to me. Not that it attracts a TON of guys, but I've so far attracted a few very nice ones so I'm not complaining.

My family isn't like that either. People tell me I'm pretty and I'm like, " Are you sure?" I'm no ogre either and I definitely have moments where I feel pretty (and feel like being pretty and go out in a dress and makeup), but it's definitely not something on my mind all that often. I'm much prouder of my achievements and my capabilities, for sure.

Not paying attention to how I look sure makes me confused when I DO have to show up somewhere nicely dressed, though! I'm afraid I'll have no idea what to wear/do if I ever find myself in a job that isn't in a lab.

except for the working in a lab part this is pretty much how i feel about the whole thing.

 

[Anita18]

except for the working in a lab part this is pretty much how i feel about the whole thing.

Cool, so one of these days you'll find a nice guy too. Just gotta keep on being yo' awesome self. Because we are awesome.

 

[SPider-T0rch]

It wasn't really my choice to be single. I actually saw a future with my now ex-girlfriend. If she didn't break up with me, chances are that I would still be with her up to this day. Over time, I just got used to being single. I got used to not having late night phone calls with someone or having someone to hug and kiss every day.

But now that I've been single for almost 3 years, getting back into the relationship swing with someone else seems jarring. I even get weirded out when girls hug or give me a kiss on the cheek because, like I said before, I got used to not getting that every day.

I wouldn't say I hate being single, I just hate not being intimate.

 

[dru-zod2501]

I'm just not in the right place mentally/emotionally to invest in someone else, and right now I need to be all about me

 

[8wid]

For me its because there are way too many airheads around!

 

[The Apocalypse]

It wasn't really my choice to be single. I actually saw a future with my now ex-girlfriend. If she didn't break up with me, chances are that I would still be with her up to this day. Over time, I just got used to being single. I got used to not having late night phone calls with someone or having someone to hug and kiss every day.

But now that I've been single for almost 3 years, getting back into the relationship swing with someone else seems jarring. I even get weirded out when girls hug or give me a kiss on the cheek because, like I said before, I got used to not getting that every day.

I wouldn't say I hate being single, I just hate not being intimate.

This.

 

[UltimateJustin]

I'm not going to lie, I think in my case I just don't want to "buy the cow" when there are so many cows out there, waiting for it. And I'm never alone not really, cause I have ps3, Rhapsody (the music subscription service), wrestling, and I'm a champion at Naval Command. Simply put, there's too much going on in my life for me to just sit in a field chewin' grass with the same cow every night.

 

[Mike_D202]

Upside of being single: There's excitement and a fun uncertainty when you hit the town... what might happen tonight? Maybe I'll meet (and shag?) a new girl? Life is a bit unpredictable. Plus there's freedom.

Downside of being single: It's sweet for a while, but ultimately hollow and unfulfilling. Like those chocolate bunnies you get at Easter. There's something so damn lonely about being single too... even if you can do what you want, there's less purpose. Being single and having meaningless sex loses its appeal especially as you get older, like late 20's, early 30's.

I was in a 4.5 year relationship and she left me for her co-worker back in 2009 and I haven't been in a relationship since. My friend that I grew up with got dumped by his girlfriend yesterday of 11 years for HER co-worker as well. He's going through a tough time and it just reminded me of why I don't date. Just seems easier and less hurtful.

 

[SWAT]

I'm just broken when it comes to social behavior. I've been alone for so long, I would't even know where to begin.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

My love life goes like this:

- boyfriend
- unrequited love
- unrequited love
- boyfriend who cheated on me an turned out to be gay
- dating
- friends with benefits
- hooking up with randoms when drunk
- giving up

At this point, I'm so ready for someone else to do the chasing. Which is why I'm quite happy to stay single until they do.

I know I'm not unattractive, but I'm no supermodel. I know I'm a lot of fun, but also kind of insane an neurotic. But you'd think, some day, I'd be exactly what someone was looking for.

 

[AndThePickles]

i have a lot of confidence in my personality and intelligence and all the "internal stuff". i think if outward appearance was based on how we are on the inside that i'd be pretty decent looking for sure. but things aren't like that haha

i don't think i'm an ogre, but i guess growing up never hearing i was pretty or anything i just don't really thing that way of myself.

and i don't mean that as a pity party, woe is me type of thing. just happened i grew up in a home where we aren't really affectionate, emotional or complimentary much.

I grew up the same way, and I managed to get into a long-lasting relationship, so there is hope! I used to always look down on myself and never thought of myself as attractive. That sort of confidence can be built up over time, as well as the way that you look at yourself.

The harder part is getting over the lack of affection and compliments growing up....I still crave affection constantly, and when I receive a compliment, it probably means a lot more to me than it would to the average person. I don't have any advice on that one

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

I've been in a relationship for so long, I wouldn't know how to be single. My wife and I have been together for 11 years and married for 8.

 

[Paroxysm]

Remember people, you can still be single and have active sex lives.

 

[Anubis]

I'm holding out for society to accept the Quad. F**k Couples.

 

[PyroChamber]

Sometimes when I hear about all the ******** people go through when they're in relationships, it makes me wonder "do I really want to deal with all of that?".

 

[SPIDER-MAN-ROX]

I'm an ugly guy with standards. I like girls that are way out of my league but then they don't feel the same way about me. The thought of ever hooking up with an ugly/unattractive girl is very repulsive to me, so it looks like I will be single & a virgin for quiet awhile longer until I either cave in or die trying. It doesn't kill me to be single, I've coped very well over the years but it sometimes hurts but rejection still hurts much more.

 

[Paroxysm]

Sometimes when I hear about all the ******** people go through when they're in relationships, it makes me wonder "do I really want to deal with all of that?".

or could you even handle it.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

In my experience the guys who say they're too busy for chicks are the ones that have problems getting them. I'm not saying anyone here is like that, I just knew a couple guys in high school who always made these lame excuses as to why they were single. When the truth was they had problems.

I feel the same way. Either they have problems getting them or are to scared to go after them. When I started dating my girlfriend, we both had a bunch of stuff going on, I was in the final stages of marathon training, had a couple of concerts to go to and some parties with friends. She had two vacations and a few various things as well, but we liked each other enough that we worked around it and made the time. If you really want something you'll find/make the time.

Right now being single is great for me. I have a little extra money for myself and gas isn't as big of a concern. I also have time to work on the things I love to do (art, comics, writing) I've only been in one serious relationship and I'm very glad it ended because I was very depressed for a while there. I realized it was unhealthy and needed to get out. It's been about a year and a half and since then I graduated college with a 3.9 GPA and have just been enjoying life. There is a girl I work with whom I like and it's become very obvious that she likes me, but I just really enjoy being single. So I'll take it slow.

If you like her and want to go out with her, you need to ask her out, taking it slow is the best way to wind up in the friendzone. Taking it slow confuses and frustrates the girl so she suggests being friends because it's what she thinks you want.

Sometimes when I hear about all the ******** people go through when they're in relationships, it makes me wonder "do I really want to deal with all of that?".

If you're with the right person, that bs isn't there or isn't a problem. The people who are constantly b*tching aren't with the right people, but are too stuborn and scared of being alone to admit it.

 

[Paroxysm]

I feel the same way. Either they have problems getting them or are to scared to go after them. When I started dating my girlfriend, we both had a bunch of stuff going on, I was in the final stages of marathon training, had a couple of concerts to go to and some parties with friends. She had two vacations and a few various things as well, but we liked each other enough that we worked around it and made the time. If you really want something you'll find/make the time.

That's right man and it also quite the achievement when you look back on it. The odds were stacked against you but you both made it work. That's a solid foundation to build a relationship on.

 

[Victarion]

My daddy slaughtered the boys who asked me out. I thought the leather jacket he gave me for Christmas smelled funny. So because of my daddy's love and my smexy leather jacket, I am simgle.