<< 2º WRITING Competition! >>

Discussion in 'X-Men 1, 2 & 3' started by Angamb, Aug 8, 2007.

  1. xmenfilesfan05

    xmenfilesfan05 Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2005
    Messages:
    923
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well done Tori, I'd have to say, even without my lines, this is probably you're best writing. As long as you give me credit for the lines you've adapted, I'll certainly stand behind it. :)
     
  2. ToriL90

    ToriL90 Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2007
    Messages:
    942
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks! :woot:
     
  3. ToriL90

    ToriL90 Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2007
    Messages:
    942
    Likes Received:
    0
    Would it be alright if I changed my entry to that Rogue cure scene I posted? I didn't think of using it before, because I took it from my X4 script; but I think it's a lot better than the other entry I wrote and I'd rather enter it if that's okay. :)
     
  4. Angamb

    Angamb Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2005
    Messages:
    13,348
    Likes Received:
    0
    ToriL, if you want it, I'll change your entry in the first post. It's your decision. Send me a PM to confirm it.
     
  5. snwboarder88

    snwboarder88 Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2005
    Messages:
    2,035
    Likes Received:
    0
    Rogue impatiently walks down the hall way of the x-mansion, she has to much on her mind to sleep. the cure was just announced hours ago...

    Beast- Rogue is that you?

    Rogue looks up, still half dazed...

    Rogue- Hey...

    She now notices that its Hank walking toward her.

    Rogue- I couldnt sleep...I....

    Abrubtly cut off by Hank...

    Beast- You know, I was very hansome growing up...(Beast smiles, Jockingly) Everyone always said I would be something when I got older, I would find the perfect girl, have a great job.

    Rogue listens intently, still unsure of where the conversation was going...

    Beast- I know what its like Rogue, I know whats its like to be unable to touch someone without frighting them...

    Rogue clearly understands why Hank was roaming the halls

    Beast- Its like a war is raging inside me, why am i cursed to look like this? will I ever be normal again? Is there really someting wrong with me, or is it everyone else?

    Rogue begins to feel tears build up behind her eyes, she remembers when logan told her the same thing on the train in NY.

    Beast- but something I have come to learn my young friend...

    Rogue and Hank stare at eachother for a few seconds...anticapting Hanks next comment...

    Beast- You decide the outcome of your life...just because your different does not mean you need to change or that their is somthing wrong with you. The X-men and all your fellow mutuants here love you the way you are...Marie.

    It took Rogue a few seconds to realize he said Marie, her real name.

    Beast- Have faith, this will all be over soon, and in the end, I know you will make the right decsion for you.

    Rogue feeling speechless, and with tears running down her lethal skin, smiles back at Hank.

    Beast then hands Rogue a envelope...and walks down the hall to his labatory.

    Rogue confused at what the envelope was for, opens it up, and pulls out a letter postmarked from Mississippi. Could it be? She read the first line...Dear Marie, and right then Rogue knew exactly who it was from, and why Hank was looking for her.
    ________________________________________________________________

    The Postcard was just to leave her storyark open further down in the movie, for another scene with her debating about the cure. The letter from her parents is not about the cure because in the time frame of that scene the cure was just announced. But what her parents would say in the letter would sway her to one side more than another.

    I thought X-men 3 was missing emotion with Rogue. She had to have been under immense amount of stress over the cure. I thought a great way to incorporate this would be to have Beast confront her, they are very similar in that their powers isolate them from society.
     
  6. BobJM

    BobJM Uncle Charlie

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2005
    Messages:
    4,195
    Likes Received:
    143
    That was really good. It shows the two characters most inclined to take the cure and puts them on opposite sides of the spectrum. I loved it. Not sure where you're going with the postcard thing, though.
     
  7. snwboarder88

    snwboarder88 Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2005
    Messages:
    2,035
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks! Its the first thing I have ever written before. The Postcard was just to leave her storyark open further down in the movie, for another scene with her debating about the cure. The letter from her parents is not about the cure because in the time frame of that scene the cure was just announced. But what her parents would say in the letter would sway her to one side more than another.
     
  8. snwboarder88

    snwboarder88 Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2005
    Messages:
    2,035
    Likes Received:
    0
    I also wrote a scene with Scott and Pro. X that i like very much, but it is to long for this competition.

    It goes more into how scott feels over Jeans death, and because of his depression from it he contemplates taking the cure.
     
  9. Angamb

    Angamb Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2005
    Messages:
    13,348
    Likes Received:
    0
    four entries to date. Not bad. I'll try to finish mine today.
     
  10. snwboarder88

    snwboarder88 Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2005
    Messages:
    2,035
    Likes Received:
    0
    So after September 5th are people going to vote for favorite?

    Theres not enough people on this board anymore for a competition. haha
     
  11. ToriL90

    ToriL90 Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2007
    Messages:
    942
    Likes Received:
    0
    I don't know... The current manips competition is getting a lot of traffic. ;)
     
  12. Angamb

    Angamb Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2005
    Messages:
    13,348
    Likes Received:
    0
    I've finished my entry! hahaha. I have to translate it well, so a few more days, sorry, hehe.

    And about the voting, I think it depends of the deadline. I don't want it to be three days, you know?...
     
  13. ToriL90

    ToriL90 Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2007
    Messages:
    942
    Likes Received:
    0
    Can't wait! :up:
     
  14. xphoenix_forcex

    xphoenix_forcex Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2006
    Messages:
    125
    Likes Received:
    0
    Scene Takes place IMMEDIATELY after logan/xavier argue in infirmary !
    Setting: Infirmary, Jean is laying on the table unconsious and still motionless. Proxessor Xavier sits behind her head, with his hands grasping the hair around her head , attempting to replace the cerebral power blocks he had placed on her before. Logan stands beside jeans calm body, with a troubled look on his face.

    The door to the infirmary slides open and storm enters the room.
    Storm: "Professor , the students are beginning to ask questions and -"
    (her voice cuts off, she forgets what she is saying. She has become transfixed by the sight of her friend laying on the infirmary table so still and lifeless)
    Strorm: "- you know, i used to be worshipped as a goddess , because of my mutant powers. A goddess. (still focused on Jean alone, her voice calm and distant) But even my powers have limits Charles. And because of those limits, our limits, we are 'freaks'. I wonder..What would they do to her.
    Wolvrine: "They would create a cure."
    Prof.X: "And they did. Whether we like it or not, evolution has surpassed the homosapian level. But we cannot blame them for their struggle. In a sence, they are as much an endangered species as we are."
    Wolverine: "Keep talking like that and we'll have to find you a helmet"
    Prof.x (taking a sharp look towards logan) "Magneto has spent his entire life being surpressed, for reasons which were never of his own making.
    Storm (now focused on the conversation at hand) "Who are you defending professor?"
    Prof.x : The side that does not want a war between the mutants and the humans. Logan, (looks to logan) Orroro (Looks to storm), you must understand that, even as a mutant, some mutant powers can be dangerous. If certain mutants were to get out of control (looks down to jean) the fate of the entire world could be at stake - that is the reality of the mutant population!"
    Storm: (confused and agressive now) "So we should just cure them,,,?"
    Professor: "I- - "
    Logan: (cuts off prof.x) "I think your actions speak louder than your words proffessor. You do, and you did. And look where it got you" ( back to jean). "Storm you said the kids has questions, and i expect the phones will be ringing with the questions of their parents too."
    Professor X: "Orroro please call all of the students into the auditorium. I think it best i be the first to discuss the matter with them. (Orroro turns and leaved the infirmary- making her way upstairs to alert students) As much as i feel the need to stay down here with Jean i fear i am making no headway- she seems to be comatose. Most important right now is the well-being of our students. Should she show any sign of conciousness allet mer immediately Logan. Immediatly.

    Professor X leaves logan in the infirmary as he goes to calm the minds of the students, leaving the later infirmary events to occur when jean wakes up and finds only logan, the scene also strengthens the childrens sence of loss for the professor as he just talked to them before they died and also adds more screentime for both jean, the professor and does a good job of adding it all to strengthen the CURE's plot.
     
  15. BobJM

    BobJM Uncle Charlie

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2005
    Messages:
    4,195
    Likes Received:
    143
    It sounds too, rehearsed on Xaiver and Ororo's part. Very forced (especially about Ororo being a goddess and talking about her origins).
     
  16. Angamb

    Angamb Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2005
    Messages:
    13,348
    Likes Received:
    0
    Guys, what about a parallel comp? I thought about other competition, simultaneously with this, but not about new scenes, but a rewrited one. I mean, the idea would be a scene from X3, but improved....

    what do you think? it would be more fun for all of us, no? and we'll have two competitions at the same time...
     
  17. ToriL90

    ToriL90 Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2007
    Messages:
    942
    Likes Received:
    0
    I don't think we should do it at the same time, but that could be the theme for the next writing competition. :)
     
  18. Angamb

    Angamb Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2005
    Messages:
    13,348
    Likes Received:
    0
    I like the idea of two different competitions at the same time, as I said, one about new scenes, and other about a rewrited one. While more competitions at the same time, more fun for us, no? :yay:
     
  19. ToriL90

    ToriL90 Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2007
    Messages:
    942
    Likes Received:
    0
    Bumping this up. Deadline's almost up, people!
     
  20. Angamb

    Angamb Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2005
    Messages:
    13,348
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'll post my scene today. still have to translate it :o
     
  21. Angamb

    Angamb Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2005
    Messages:
    13,348
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well, I've translated it, but need help. Could I send my scene to anyone? to know if is well translated?
     
  22. ToriL90

    ToriL90 Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2007
    Messages:
    942
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'll help you :)
     
  23. xmenfilesfan05

    xmenfilesfan05 Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2005
    Messages:
    923
    Likes Received:
    0
    I can help as well Angamb.
     
  24. ToriL90

    ToriL90 Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2007
    Messages:
    942
    Likes Received:
    0
    I sent you the translated version, Angamb. Glad to be of service to you, mate. ;)
     
  25. Angamb

    Angamb Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2005
    Messages:
    13,348
    Likes Received:
    0
    Here is my entry (special thanks to ToriL, for his help with the translation):

    __________________________________________________


    - Int. Charles Xavier&#8217;s office. Night

    Charles is next to one of the windows that overlook the garden. He has a lost glance as he looks over the horizon. There is a certain melancholy in his eyes, simultaneously with an inevitable preoccupation. The memories of the past have arisen in him. He watches the telephone&#8230; He vacillates for a few seconds&#8230; He takes it off the hook it and makes a call.

    MOIRA: (been strange) Charles?
    XAVIER: (after a moment) Hello, Moira&#8230; (short silence)
    MOIRA: (worried) Has something happened, Charles?
    XAVIER: no&#8230; excuse me for calling you at this hour, Moira&#8230; but I felt a need to speak with you&#8230;

    Moira doesn&#8217;t say anything.

    XAVIER: I know that we haven't spoken for a long time, but I have been thinking about you lately&#8230;

    Silence. Moira doesn&#8217;t respond either.

    XAVIER: I suppose that you have already seen the announcement from Worthington Laboratory&#8230;
    MOIRA: Yes&#8230; I know about it&#8230; I asked for a sample, but I haven&#8217;t received it yet&#8230;
    XAVIER: Hank has confirmed its viability. (silence)
    MOIRA: (a little intrigued) How did he react?
    XAVIER: The truth is, I don&#8217;t know his true feelings right now&#8230; He was surprised - as were we all. He is aware of the consequences that this entails&#8230; but on a personal level&#8230; I don&#8217;t know&#8230; but he isn't the only one who has been affected by this... Some of my students are very anxious... (silence) Honestly... I'm not sure I can control this situation.
    MOIRA: We spoke once about this possibility, remember?
    XAVIER: Of course.
    MOIRA: Deep down, Charles, each of them will have to make their own decisions... no matter how much it can hurt...
    XAVIER: I know, Moira&#8230; but the idea of seeing my students giving in to the temptation one after another, terrifies me&#8230;
    MOIRA: (short silence) I know how you feel&#8230; believe me&#8230; but if that happens&#8230; you will have to accept it, Charles&#8230;

    Charles knows that she is right, but the idea saddens him. He is quiet for a while

    MOIRA: Charles?
    XAVIER: (after a few seconds, sincere) Thank you, Moira&#8230;
    MOIRA: (seconds later) You don&#8217;t have to-
    XAVIER: Yes&#8230; after all this time&#8230; I&#8217;m glad to know I still can talk to you&#8230;

    Moira gives a slight smile, a gentle smile. A pretty background music sounds... Short silence.

    XAVIER: (revealingly tender) I&#8217;ve missed to you&#8230;

    End.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice
monitoring_string = "afb8e5d7348ab9e99f73cba908f10802"