Being single sucks

[Logan's Runt]

you really don't get it do you... when you have a child, you do stuff for them, to enrichen their life, as well as yours..... you don't give gifts to people on x-mas just to give gifts, you get a satisfacation out of doing it too..... if you donate money to a charity, there's a self satisfaction that goes with that....

to do stuff, and to not feel that way... you would have to be a robot... everything you do, should, contain an internal emotion response....

Bleedy was saying that if you have children for a selfish reason (or think having children is a selfish act)- you permanently affect the life of those children, probably negatively, because of a decision made selfishly. But a 'selfish' decision not to have children only reflects on your own life. He was arguing that regardless of the mutual selfishness that could be argued, it is better that a bad decision only effect the decision maker, rather than others.

You would be the one not getting it.

Also, it could be equally argued that doing nice things for others because they make YOU feel good is just about as selfish as it gets.

In regards to your bit about every action having an emotional response- do you cry when you poo? Maybe feel overjoyed? There are many actions in life that don't involve emotions. Emotional range is as individual as the range of physical characteristics.

 

[BillyZaned]

Bleedy was saying that if you have children for a selfish reason (or think having children is a selfish act)- you permanently affect the life of those children, probably negatively, because of a decision made selfishly. But a 'selfish' decision not to have children only reflects on your own life. He was arguing that regardless of the mutual selfishness that could be argued, it is better that a bad decision only effect the decision maker, rather than others.

You would be the one not getting it.

Also, it could be equally argued that doing nice things for others because they make YOU feel good is just about as selfish as it gets.

In regards to your bit about every action having an emotional response- do you cry when you poo? Maybe feel overjoyed? There are many actions in life that don't involve emotions. Emotional range is as individual as the range of physical characteristics.

first off, read our WHOLE convo before jumping in...

doing "good" stuff for people makes you feel "good"... simple as that.....

when you take a dump, ussualy it's a emotional response of "relief" and in some poeople, there is a gratification aspect to it too....

 

[BillyZaned]

Well I wouldn't say that.

The people who say money doesn't by you happiness are probably the people who have experienced it first hand.

But I don't really have sympathy for people like that. You've got money, what is there to be miserable about? Be grateful you ain't gotta worry about putting food on the table and struggling with bills.

ussualy the people I get that the "money won't make you happy" are people that never had money to begin with...

 

[Logan's Runt]

first off, read our WHOLE convo before jumping in...

doing "good" stuff for people makes you feel "good"... simple as that.....

when you take a dump, ussualy it's a emotional response of "relief" and in some poeople, there is a gratification aspect to it too....

Simple as feeling 'good' motivates people to feel 'good'. Same way Christians do 'good' to get a 'reward' (go to heaven). It's not done for the sake of 'goodness' it's done out of a personal desire to be 'good' or feel 'good.' Otherwise, they wouldn't do it.

'Relief' is a sensation in that case, not an emotion. Anyone who gets emotional about body functions needs a check on their emotions.

 

[BillyZaned]

Oh, I get it. I just get both viewpoints... not just one.

gotcha... I'm just saying... me wanting my son to enjoy some of the things I enjoyed in my life, really doesn't make me "selfish"...

Like for instance, I really enjoyed playing Football, and seeing my parents in teh stands Friday nights, watching and cheering for me... some of my most memroable moments so far in my life... and since I took joy and happiness from it... I'm hoping my son might find the same thing within football... if he doesn't like it... then whatever,

now, if I pushed him to play football when he didn't want to... that would be selfish....

 

[BillyZaned]

Simple as feeling 'good' motivates people to feel 'good'. Same way Christians do 'good' to get a 'reward' (go to heaven). It's not done for the sake of 'goodness' it's done out of a personal desire to be 'good' or feel 'good.' Otherwise, they wouldn't do it.

'Relief' is a sensation in that case, not an emotion. Anyone who gets emotional about body functions needs a check on their emotions.

emotional about body functions.... so when I ejactulate, I shouldn't get any emotional response from that when I'm engaged in intercourse? Really? Listen to what you are saying....


Christians do good deads because they want to go to heaven... now to me, that is the most backwards crap I have ever experienced...

you are only giving money, to look good to your so called god... so you can get into heaven.... that is selfish.... but, out of selfish means, comes good too....

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Mental disorders aside, I think a lot of people, probably quite a few who post here, make too many excuses on why they can't date. Many with excuses that are easily surmountable.

Yeah, I can see that too, just gotta put yourself out there, pursuing your passions puts you in a place to meet like minded people and maybe find someone you want to date.

Nell should really just find some activities he enjoys and see if there's any type of club or something he can join to do that with other people. Moving to a new city especially where you don't know anyone in your mid-late 20s can be tough, but it's not too hard to find new friends to hang out with. Heck, maybe even try a dating site (a pay one like Match or eHarmony) to find a girl or at least go on a few dates with, get out one of those Friday or Saturday nights.

 

[BillyZaned]

Yeah, I can see that too, just gotta put yourself out there, pursuing your passions puts you in a place to meet like minded people and maybe find someone you want to date.

Nell should really just find some activities he enjoys and see if there's any type of club or something he can join to do that with other people. Moving to a new city especially where you don't know anyone in your mid-late 20s can be tough, but it's not too hard to find new friends to hang out with. Heck, maybe even try a dating site (a pay one like Match or eHarmony) to find a girl or at least go on a few dates with, get out one of those Friday or Saturday nights.

not even that.... Nell just needs to keep his eyes open.... be an oppertunists.....

you know how many relationships start and last, when the begin at a bar, or club.... barely any.....

if he's even at his local starbucks, and there's a cut girl there.... go talk to her... who cares if she shoots you down... and the more and more you do this, the whole "notion" of approaching a girl being "scary" goes away.... put yourself out there.... worst case scenero... your home alone on saturday night, no different then now

 

[Logan's Runt]

emotional about body functions.... so when I ejactulate, I shouldn't get any emotional response from that when I'm engaged in intercourse? Really? Listen to what you are saying....


Christians do good deads because they want to go to heaven... now to me, that is the most backwards crap I have ever experienced...

you are only giving money, to look good to your so called god... so you can get into heaven.... that is selfish.... but, out of selfish means, comes good too....

Are you really comparing taking a dump to ejaculation? Is the act of going to the bathroom the same sort of emotional/physical process as sex is for you? "Listen to what you are saying!"

And then you're saying the ends justify the means?

I do hope you can find the distiguishing line between 'ejaculation' and 'orgasm.' One, being a bodily function, and the other being an emotional experience that often coincides but not necessarily so. Notice I didn't say 'every bodily function'. Sex/orgasm/ejaculation/etc is a unique physical and emotional entwinement that I would hope would be unique, not as experienced while pooing.

 

[BillyZaned]

Are you really comparing taking a dump to ejaculation? Is the act of going to the bathroom the same sort of emotional/physical process as sex is for you? "Listen to what you are saying!"

And then you're saying the ends justify the means?

I do hope you can find the distiguishing line between 'ejaculation' and 'orgasm.' One, being a bodily function, and the other being an emotional experience that often coincides but not necessarily so. Notice I didn't say 'every bodily function'. Sex/orgasm/ejaculation/etc is a unique physical and emotional whirlwind that I would hope would be unique, not as experienced while pooing.

your really reading too far into this....

 

[Logan's Runt]

your really reading too far into this....

And you're not- maybe if your comprehension was better you'd be able to read more into it too.

 

[Sarge 2.0]

I find that most, NOT ALL, but most people, specially guys, who sit there and are like "I'm happy to be single" or am "I'm not ready for a relationship"... only say that, because being single is their ONLY option, and they are saying that to comfort their inner sarrows....

it's like people who say "money doesn't make you happy"... they are the ones with "No Money"....

Yeah, 'cause people totally can't find their own standards for happiness and are secretly in want of the things that ostensibly make everyone else "happy".

Good logic, Tex.

 

[AndThePickles]

Mental disorders aside, I think a lot of people, probably quite a few who post here, make too many excuses on why they can't date. Many with excuses that are easily surmountable.

Yes, this place is definitely full of excuses. Some of them are so ridiculous that they make me laugh, too. It's not just regarding why they can't date, it's also why being single has ruined their life lol.

I think it's harder the other way around. I've been with someone for so long... now that I'm single, I have no idea what to do with myself.

Aww You'll figure it out. Gotta learn to enjoy being with yourself (no perv ) and being happy by yourself again.


Although I am not single right now, I also don't think I could ever go back to how I acted in early high school regarding "being single" again. I used to get sad about it when I was young. It is not the end of the world, and being single can be a lot of fun. It's a chance to get to know yourself and your own interests, and to casually date and learn who you enjoy being with.

As for the other topic in this thread, I definitely do not want children. I am also fully aware that I will be missing out on a lot of joy by not having them. However, the cons outweigh the pros, for me.

 

[BillyZaned]

Yeah, 'cause people totally can't find their own standards for happiness and are secretly in want of the things that ostensibly make everyone else "happy".

Good logic, Tex.

must have struck a cord with you.... lol

 

[Logan's Runt]

As for the other topic in this thread, I definitely do not want children. I am also fully aware that I will be missing out on a lot of joy by not having them. However, the cons outweigh the pros, for me.

 

[BillyZaned]

As for the other topic in this thread, I definitely do not want children. I am also fully aware that I will be missing out on a lot of joy by not having them. However, the cons outweigh the pros, for me.

cons being?

 

[Sarge 2.0]

must have struck a cord with you.... lol

No? I'm not single and I'm upper middle class.

But it did strike a cord with the legitimately happy human being in me who is disgusted by those who believe that everyone else must live by their standards of happiness, and if they don't they're secretly unhappy.

 

[knowsbleed]

cons being?

uh oh

 

[Logan's Runt]

lolwut

 

[Sarge 2.0]

cons being?

Hahahahahaha

 

[BillyZaned]

No? I'm not single and I'm upper middle class.

But it did strike a cord with the legitimately happy human being in me who is disgusted by those who believe that everyone else must live by their standards of happiness, and if they don't they're secretly unhappy.

did I say everyone... ? Where did I say that.... I've found, that in my experiences, most guys who sit there and are like"i'm happy being single"... ussualy were the only sweating over girls all the time, and they say that to comfort themselves....

sure, there are some that just rather be alone, and that's cool... and then you have some who have been in bad relationships, and don't want that to happen again so avoid it...

 

[BillyZaned]

uh oh

am I missing something here?

 

[Darthphere]

I find that most, NOT ALL, but most people, specially guys, who sit there and are like "I'm happy to be single" or am "I'm not ready for a relationship"... only say that, because being single is their ONLY option, and they are saying that to comfort their inner sarrows....

it's like people who say "money doesn't make you happy"... they are the ones with "No Money"....

I wouldn't say I'm happy to be single. I mean, everyone wants someone right? But on the other hand, I'm not sitting at home depressed as **** for not having a girlfriend. I have friends and the random hook up every once in a while. And in this economy, I can't afford a girlfriend.

 

[BillyZaned]

And in this economy, I can't afford a girlfriend.

That is funny... really is..

 

[AndThePickles]

cons being?

Without getting into a long (or overly personal) essay about this, overall: I've never WANTED them. That in itself is a big thing, for me. Why bring a child into the world that isn't truly wanted? I'd never have kids without planning for them, and I can't plan for them if I don't truly want to have any.

I want to have a very career-oriented life. Kids would get in the way of that. I want to enjoy working, my husband, and traveling. I want the luxury of being able to move around if I need to, and not have to yank children away from their friends and school.

I would never want to bring a child into this world the way things are these days. I would be terrified to even send my child to school. Kids cursing their parents out seems to be the norm, and that's sad. Kids are having sex before they even understand how their own bodies work. I do not want the responsibility of trying to raise a child amongst the evils of the world. Props to anyone who is willing to undertake such a huge task.

Shallow reasons: I don't want to subject my body to pregnancy.