I still love The Long Kiss Goodnight....
Samantha: What happened?
Mitch: I saved your ass. It was great.
Mitch Henessey: [
singing] Putting the keys in my left pocket. Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm. Gun in the right-hand side.
Samantha Caine: It makes a bulge, people can see.
Mitch Henessey: Ya want me to stick it in my pants and shoot my damn dick off?
Samantha Caine: Now you're a sharpshooter?
Charlie: I'm leaving the country, Mitch. I need a fake passport and I need money, lots of it.
Mitch: Well why didn't you say so? Hold on a minute while I pull that outta my ass.
Mitch Henessey: What I'm saying is, back when we first met, you were all like "Oh phooey, I burned the darn muffins." Now, you go into a bar, ten minutes later, sailors come runnin' out. What up with that?
Samantha Caine: What, are you a Mormon?
Mitch Henessey: Yes, I'm a Mormon. That's why I just smoked a pack of Newport and drank three vodka tonics.
Mitch: Oh, ****! Ah, that hurt like ****!
Samantha: I know. That's why I distracted you first. Same principle as deflowering virgins.
Mitch: Huh? What? Virgin - ? What?
Samantha: Read it in this Harold Robbins book. Guy bites her on the ear. Distracts from the pain. Ever try that?
Mitch: No, no, I sock 'em in the jaw and yell, "Pop goes the weasel."