FANTASTIC FOUR #566: At first sold by Marvel has the second coming and likely a surefire Top 20 hit, while they won't admit it (Marvel admit errors or the obvious about as often as the Bush Administration did), it seems that internally, this is being seen as a misfire. Despite the A-List creative team, before a year was up, the run was selling at the same level that the Four always sell at, between 45-48k. Not only does Millar's often late WOLVERINE outsell it, but so does KICK-ASS. Content wise, despite more promotion, it really isn't a whole lot different from McDuffie's run, just probably more decompressed and pretentious. The final issue in July is bring drawn by Stuart Immonen, because Marvel wanted to yank Hitch for something "important". Trust me, if this was selling at, say, Whedon/Cassaday on AXM levels, they either A). would not have yanked Hitch that month, or B). yanked him and then not given two ****'s about the book thus becoming 1-3 months behind schedule. No, they WANT to finish the run by August, by any means needed, even fill-in. Immonen's art is good, don't get me wrong, but Marvel usually has a "it's for integrity, who cares if it's late, retailers still order it so **** you fanboy" philosophy to late books, so long as they still are selling well or has some sort of critical appeal. The collective reception of this run has been "meh", and Marvel knows it and seems to want to move on as quickly as possible. Marvel wouldn't admit to any of that, though. They take readers for suckers/morons at the top, incapable of ever figuring out what we are not spoon fed.
That isn't to say that Millar & Hitch on FF have been bad; they've not been. Honestly I've liked this run better than some of Millar's other work, which is usually vile, vulgar, bleak, and borderline Communist politically. FANTASTIC FOUR has little if any of that stuff and thus it reads better than some of Millar's stories, even if it doesn't cover his flaws well. Such as, Millar usually thinking anything he writes is awesome or funny, to the point where sometimes a character will say it as much at least 2-3 times. His characters don't talk so much as constantly try to outdo each other in sarcastic one-liners, and he sometimes writes moments and then tries to fill in the middle. Still, his FF has usually been more amusing than some of the last stuff I have read from him. I think Millar handles Reed and Ben quite well. His Susan is perfectly fine. Where he struggles is with the children (Val is spunky genius, Franklin is kind of an idiot), and Johnny, who he writes as a fop with ADHD (confusing "immature" with "******ed").
Millar's work sadly so far on FF has made a habit of teasing us with some "omigod SHOCK HORROR DEATH" factor and then pulling back immediately. Remember that last arc that made a huge deal of Galactus being a battery, and it was just an alternate reality Galactus? Same thing with the Watcher; after finding the corpse of the Watcher along the shore, Reed discovers it is merely an alternate reality version. While I am glad that Millar isn't screwing over Galactus or Watcher in 616, my question is, if you don't want to go all the way on the shocker moments, why rely on them? Sometimes it reads like an old dog failing to learn a new trick. Or, rather, a writer who knows how to start something but not how to properly finish it. That used to plague me to no end with Millar on ULTIMATE X-MEN; he would often give you a rivetting build-up to an arc, and the climax would be hit-or-miss. Most people prefer a good ending, not a good beginning. Fortunately, Millar won't have to worry about that; he seems to be the type who doesn't listen for what people want, because he is too busy telling them (and listening to his own voice while doing so). Any wonder why he and Bendis are peas in a pod sometimes?
Debbie's ex boyfriend goes on TV to sell a book and lambaste his ex for dumping him for the Thing, and this is actually a good angle. Playing with the fact that the Four are both superheroes and celebrities, Millar is using that to show how "normal" people would exploit that at various angles; from perhaps Debbie herself to Jason exploiting the "tragedy" to gain 15 minutes of fame. Thing rushes to the stage to pummel him and suddenly Debbie is lashing out at him, as if their romance wasn't kismet but has been crumbling. While, yes, Thing is impulsive and violent, where is this coming from? We have seen nothing from his hastily cobbled romance over some 6-8 issues that implies anything was wrong or even un-perfect. Now Debbie is talking as if she wants a divorce before they're married. It seems a bit of a U-Turn, but then again I never bought this romance to begin with. It seems obvious that Debbie is due to die or be maimed by the end of the run, as Hickman has written a mini completely ignoring her. Thing's romantic arc seemed ignorant and obligatory for me, and now this beat to it seems even more obligatory. Killing off Debbie if Ben was 100% happy with her would be too predictable, so we have to make them "real" all of a sudden. Even if they never were, because Ben is supposed to be back with Alicia, circa 2006. A good subplot marred by, well, the larger subplot's problems.
The other crux of the issue is Dr. Doom. Back to Latveria and gaining wonderous applaise from his subjects, Doom prepares for the arrival of his Demon Algebra Teacher. Or, "the Marquis of Death and The New Apprentice". A name like that could only work in UMBRELLA ACADEMY, and this is playing it straight. Declaring Doom a failure, the Marquis seemingly burns him and Latveria alive. The Marquis of course has Millar's trademark snarky dialogue, considering Latveria a backwater and dismissing Doom as incompetant. Make way for the NEW blood, meatball! Marquis even has gritted teeth. When Millar is writing Doom's dialogue, he does quite well, better than Bendis or JMS were. No jokes about wikipedia or woman's bodies, just Doom and his arrogance. The problem is the events that have happened to Doom here. While Bendis was the one who slapped Doom in prison, Millar had him get kidnapped by lamer New Defenders and be their hostage for a while. Now he's kneeling to some character no one will ever care about again and being chastised by him, and seemingly killed. I'm no fool, Doom never dies, but Millar certainly hasn't improved matters for him. Maybe this is set up to give Doom someone to overcome, but right now I am not feeling it. Right now it reads like Millar going out of his way to say how awesome his new villain is over the supreme one for the Four, all but literally inside the story, and arrogance is not appealing for me in a writer when it is so blatant, when he almost tells the reader to shut up and worship his awesome in-story. I bashed Whedon horribly for AXM issues, but even he rarely did that. Whedon probably also had a better sense of humor.
Hitch's art is what you would expect, photo-realistic and quite good. I liked his shots of Doom, Latveria, and even the Marquis and whatnot. Although it seems he and DC's Genocide could compete for most shallow design. Genocide is so "x-treme" that she has spikes for eyes, while the Marquis of Death has giant gritted teeth and sports the "dark demon zombie" look, and is too evil to even need eyes. All they need is Onslaught to show up between them and go, "I have giant spikes and shoulder-pads, b****s!" and both of them to wander off all sulky. Still, rock solid art, if you like Hitch's style. I am curious how Immonen will handle some of the designs.
I guess all I can say is, while I'm not fully faithful in Hickman's agenda for the Four right now, I am like Marvel, and kind of waiting for Millar's run to end. It's nothing atrocious, but it's not nearly as inspired as it thinks it is, and I am glad the mediocre sales are showing it. The Four may rise again as a franchise, but it apparently won't be as easy as siccing an A-List creative team to do yet another version of the Four's greatest hits. It'll take someone with a unique agenda. And a writer more clever than he believes himself to be. I am curious if Doom will be redeemed a little by overcoming the Marquis, but I'm almost counting down issues until the end and hoping they're worth it. Hitch is good for awesome splash pages, at least.
TERROR, INC.:APOCALYPSE SOON #2: The other title I got from Marvel that shipped twice this month, aside for AGENTS OF ATLAS. David Lapham continues on the sequal of his last TERROR, INC. mini from MAX, which would probably fall under the realm of "cult taste" for me. It's not the best thing ever, but I enjoy it anyway. It stars everyone's little known mercenary who can't die, but needs fresh body parts to replace rotting ones. This story ties back in with an adventure Terror had during the Black Plague, in a modern story involving a new biological agent being used by terrorists in Istanbul. Terror rescued a boy from a terrorist lab last issue, only to find out that the boy is a "Typhoid Mary", someone who isn't sick himself but capable of spreading the virus. The hospital and soon Terror succumb to the illness and it makes Terror hallucinate, thus becoming a menace. Luckily, Ms. Primo (his gal friday) shows up with know-how and fresh body parts.
The virus is similar enough to the Black Plague that Terror remembers another old demonic enemy, Zahhak, who was also immortal and had snakes at his shoulders. Terror defeated him to settle on a debt and left him in a situation akin to Prometheus, but now it appears he may be back. Koi Turnbull does the art and it is a shift from the art style from the last Terror mini and takes some getting used to sometimes, but works. It's a MAX series, although this time it doesn't seem too far removed from an old Marvel Knights title.
Terror's cool. He's a unique character and has more layers than one would expect; both monster and vengeance beast, but also sympathetic. Lapham handles Terror quite well and I am curious as to how this will turn out. If you were one of the five people who bought the last mini, I'd recommend this one.
w....o.....w....That may be the best stealth Bendis bash I've ever read. Well played, sir, well played.
Thanks!
