Care vs. Pity

[Silverstein]

In as much detail as you can, please explain what you feel to be the difference between true and earnest care for someone's problems or situation, and just flat pity.

Points to consider:

-Can pity and care be the same?
-Does the negative connotation that pity has, truly represent the responses or actions that someone might have?
-Is care only a subset of pity?
-Reactions, responses and choices affect our involvement in a situation; However, general curiosity and interest also play a part. How does morbid curiosity play a part in pity vs. care?

 

[DarkReflections]

In as much detail as you can, please explain what you feel to be the difference between true and earnest care for someone's problems or situation, and just flat pity.

Points to consider:

-Can pity and care be the same?
-Does the negative connotation that pity has, truly represent the responses or actions that someone might have?
-Is care only a subset of pity?
-Reactions, responses and choices affect our involvement in a situation; However, general curiosity and interest also play a part. How does morbid curiosity play a part in pity vs. care?

i feel as though that with pity, you feel sorry and empathy for someone but theres an alienation, and that caring is the showing of love, helpfullness, and is willing to. so to me they are not the same. when it comes to pity, depending on the persons situation, it might not truly represent the responsed or actions that someone might have. for example how obi won felt pity when anikan turned to the dark side knowing he could do nothing about it, although deep down he still cared for his former friend and student, and than theres luke who, while had pity for his father because of what happend to him all those years ago, showed his care for his father in rotj knowing full and well that he could bring his father back to the light side of the force, making care not a subset for pity but is possibly the following emotion you have for someone after you find out about how they got in that situation. going back to anikan's story in star wars, obi wans reaction to anikan's decision affected him because of making him more confused and angry, not talking out the situation thinking he was showing how he cared by disciplining him about his decison not talking it out like he was a human being that makes mistakes, with his little to no curiosity about the situation making it worse for anikan to feel the way he did even more, and how because of luke's morbid curiosity, it was able to help anikan with his situation out trying to talk to him even when on the catwalk during their battle in return of the jedi, by showing his care and compassion for his father, which did help and was able to bring anikan back to the light side of the force making pity and caring two different emotions, albiet similar, because of both being subsets of empathy. this is my take on it.

 

[The Guard]

Why do I feel like this is someone's homework?

 

[DarkReflections]

Why do I feel like this is someone's homework?

because it probably is. i basically posted to help silverstein out, and also just because i was in the mood to rant.

 

[redmarvel]

I care about people even when nothing is going wrong in their life.

I pity people whose lives are worse than mine.

Sometimes you pity the people you care about, sometimes you care about the people you pity, however you can pity people without really caring about / for them. If you truly care, you do something, if you just pity someone you can stand by without doing anything (and then I pity you).

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I pity the fool!
(Someone had to say it)

 

[LouFerignoDemon]

I have no pity for mere mortals.

I just care for them like pets. ;D

 

[BlackLantern]

I pity...the foo'!!!

 

[E-Man]

DarkReflections and redmarvel pretty much hit the nail on the head here.

 

[DarkReflections]

i feel that redmarvel explained it better than i did. plus it was shorter too.

 

[SpideyInATree]

I just got a phone call about an hour ago from my boss at work. One of my co-workers' wife committed suicide last night.

Now I definitely pity my co-worker for the emotional trauma that he is going to be going through because of this.

 

[Silverstein]

Why do I feel like this is someone's homework?

lol I don't know if it's insulting or complementary.

Whenever I make a post about food or something silly, people act like I've wasted forum space with it. When I ask serious questions, every single time...You guys ask me if it's homework.

It's not. But thanks, I guess, if my questions sound like a teacher or professor is asking...

 

[Silverstein]

I just got a phone call about an hour ago from my boss at work. One of my co-workers' wife committed suicide last night.

Now I definitely pity my co-worker for the emotional trauma that he is going to be going through because of this.

But is it care since you earnestly feel something for him? Wouldn't pity be that you felt bad about the situation but no so much about your co-worker..?

 

[LouFerignoDemon]

lol I don't know if it's insulting or complementary.

Whenever I make a post about food or something silly, people act like I've wasted forum space with it. When I ask serious questions, every single time...You guys ask me if it's homework.

It's not. But thanks, I guess, if my questions sound like a teacher or professor is asking...

They mean you're asking them to do your homework for you.

 

[bullets]

Well if this is homework then you definately need to use a Star Wars analogy.

 

[Silverstein]

They mean you're asking them to do your homework for you.

I know. My point is that I'm just asking a question. And I must sound like a teacher and a professor if they are thinking it's my homework.

For the sake of everyone understanding: This is not homework. Just a question I was wondering...

Well if this is homework then you definately need to use a Star Wars analogy.

It's not, but the star wars analogy was actually very good.

 

[bullets]

I also thought it was good but also amusing. I guess it all depends on where you place empathy. I may feel bad for a bum on the street but if it was my brother out there I'd want something down about it immediately.

 

[E-Man]

lol I don't know if it's insulting or complementary.

Whenever I make a post about food or something silly, people act like I've wasted forum space with it. When I ask serious questions, every single time...You guys ask me if it's homework.

It's not. But thanks, I guess, if my questions sound like a teacher or professor is asking...

It's a good thread question. It's something that is worth asking and debating, but I don't think many people get the two confused. Maybe it's just me, but I think alot of people know that they can pity something or someone without caring about them.

 

[Silverstein]

It's a good thread question. It's something that is worth asking and debating, but I don't think many people get the two confused. Maybe it's just me, but I think alot of people know that they can pity something or someone without caring about them.

True, but many confuse it subconsciously by acting as if pity is a good thing. Like a "friend" being good to you because your life is worse than theirs.

Someone once explained to me that problems and mistakes don't exist, only lessons. So having a negative experience can equate to just having experience, yet the privileged or better off still look down as if their inexperience is coveted.

It's a social double standard.

I've even heard that phrase "I pity you", said as if a sign of condolence. Pity should be an emotion or feeling of disdain while still having sympathy for the situation.

Pity basically means "it's your fault that this happened and it is bad, but I feel sorry for you". Like a gross kid that can't get a girlfriend, you could pity him and try to help. But at the end of the day, it's not your problem so you move on.


To me, care is an understanding as well as a "this isn't your fault" or "you deserve better" attitude. So in continuation of my example: Someone who cares would be trying to help the gross kid not be so gross and stay along with it.


I'd give further examples but now is not such a good time for me to be typing, as I'm inebriated.

 

[E-Man]

lol not a bad post to be inebriated

 

[Master Chief]

Pity is empathy, care is love.

 

[SuperFerret]

Pity is empathy, care is love.

Pity is sympathy, understanding is empathy, and care is love.

 

[Master Chief]

Tomato, tomoto.

 

[SuperFerret]

Sympathy and empathy are different things. Sympathy is feeling bad for a person, empathy is feeling bad with a person.

And it's tom-AY-toe.

 

[SpideyInATree]

But is it care since you earnestly feel something for him? Wouldn't pity be that you felt bad about the situation but no so much about your co-worker..?

Ha ha. No, I don't feel something for him. Actually I don't like him. He's a very self involved jerk. Though I pity him because of what happened. Nobody deserves something like that, no matter how much of a jerk they are.