Complaints

[hammy]

I don't care who you want. t: I just wouldn't think it unreasonable that if a person had certain qualities they looked for (presumably, qualities they considered, "good," - you mentioned, 'wholesomeness,' for instance) in a girlfriend, that it would be unusual for them to want them in their friends, as well. But whatever. I can see what you mean, in a way. It's less 'tempting,' I suppose.

 

[Abaddon]

I don't really think it has to do with temptation. I have a female friend who's cute, honest, and funny. She can also be pretty b**chy, she has a history of cheating, and sometimes it's as if she's in desperate need to be in a relationship. I don't want those qualities in a girlfriend, but it doesn't stop me from being her friend.

 

[CConn]

I don't care who you want. t: I just wouldn't think it unreasonable that if a person had certain qualities they looked for (presumably, qualities they considered, "good," - you mentioned, 'wholesomeness,' for instance) in a girlfriend, that it would be unusual for them to want them in their friends, as well. But whatever. I can see what you mean, in a way. It's less 'tempting,' I suppose.

I never said I wouldn't be friends with someone I could see as a girlfriend. I have done that, sometimes it's worked, sometimes it hasn't. What I was saying is that it's totally possible for men (me) to be purely friends with females...they just have to not be girlfriend material.

But yes, when you have a female friend that has all the qualities of a girlfriend, it does get...dangerous. I mean, if you're great friends with someone of the opposite sex, you're both single, you're both reasonably attractive, and of around the same age, why on earth shouldn't you be more than just friends? You aren't suggesting people who meet those standards should "just be friends" are you? Cause that's kind of ridiculous, no offense.

 

[CConn]

I don't really think it has to do with temptation. I have a female friend who's cute, honest, and funny. She can also be pretty b**chy, she has a history of cheating, and sometimes it's as if she's in desperate need to be in a relationship. I don't want those qualities in a girlfriend, but it doesn't stop me from being her friend.

I think we've just encountered the hideous entity that is "girl sense", Abby.

 

[Abaddon]

Calvin warned us.

 

[CConn]

Calvin is a dude?

****...I probably shouldn't have sent him all of those PMs.

 

[hammy]

I don't really think it has to do with temptation. I have a female friend who's cute, honest, and funny. She can also be pretty b**chy, she has a history of cheating, and sometimes it's as if she's in desperate need to be in a relationship. I don't want those qualities in a girlfriend, but it doesn't stop me from being her friend.

It's just that he specifically said he looks for different qualities in friends than girlfriends.

For instance, in a girlfriend, I kinda look for a rather wholesome, reserved kind of girl.

With female friends, it's the exact opposite. Loud, quirky, even slightly offensive, that's fun. Whereas, would I really want someone like that for a girlfriend? No, not at all. Nothing against that - they are my friends - but that just isn't what I'm into.

I guess that's the difference; friends (for me, at least) don't have to be like you, don't have to do things that you're into or believe in...whereas girlfriends do. Or should.

 

[hammy]

And don't use Calvin against me.

 

[hammy]

I never said I wouldn't be friends with someone I could see as a girlfriend. I have done that, sometimes it's worked, sometimes it hasn't. What I was saying is that it's totally possible for men (me) to be purely friends with females...they just have to not be girlfriend material.

But yes, when you have a female friend that has all the qualities of a girlfriend, it does get...dangerous. I mean, if you're great friends with someone of the opposite sex, you're both single, you're both reasonably attractive, and of around the same age, why on earth shouldn't you be more than just friends? You aren't suggesting people who meet those standards should "just be friends" are you? Cause that's kind of ridiculous, no offense.

Now you're just being aggravating. I never "suggested," any such thing. You're the one who got it all botched up in your head like that. And your standards are just weird, anyway. Who said anything about being single or the same age or reasonably attractive? You can be all those things and still completely wrong for each other, have nothing in common, be totally incompatible. And why can't you be friends with someone if you're not single?

 

[CConn]

It's just that he specifically said he looks for different qualities in friends than girlfriends.

Exactly, and what's so confusing about that?

 

[hammy]

Never mind.

 

[CConn]

casey, maybe the problem is just you.

 

[hammy]

Maybe.

 

[Shuley]

Maybe.

no need to blame yourself.

 

[hammy]

I don't. t:

He says maybe it's me (because I don't understand his reasoning - even though I kind of do) but do you think he blames himself because he doesn't understand me? I doubt it. t:

 

[Shuley]

Exactly, and what's so confusing about that?

I think Casey has a hard time understanding the differance guys see towards women they wanna date and women they wanna hang out with.

 

[BRUTAL]

I never been friends with a girl I didn't want to see naked.

 

[hammy]

And people with barking dogs. Or that let their dogs run loose. And then they like to say what big pet lovers they are, but how much can you love your dog when you let him run around and he gets hit by a car? Grrr ..

 

[hammy]

I never been friends with a girl I didn't want to see naked.

I think that's the whole issue. Some guys seem to want to see all girls, naked. And if she doesn't want to get naked for them, then they have no place for her in their lives because they don't want to be in the friend zone.

 

[Shuley]

I never been friends with a girl I didn't want to see naked.

me neither... I only make friends with hot girls.

 

[Shuley]

I think that's the whole issue. Some guys seem to want to see all girls, naked. And if she doesn't want to get naked for them, then they have no place for her in their lives because they don't want to be in the friend zone.

Ok Casey I know exactly what your getting at now. 1) We don't wanna see overweight 300 pound women naked,so we don't wanna see ALL women naked. 2) Guys don't wanna make friends with women who don't want anything to do with them cause that will just be self torture "Wow,Casey is sooo great to be with and she's getting cuter by the moment,but she doesn't wanna date me..ever,so I'll just stop talking to her and quit torturing myself and get over her,out of sight,out of mind"

 

[BRUTAL]

I think that's the whole issue. Some guys seem to want to see all girls, naked. And if she doesn't want to get naked for them, then they have no place for her in their lives because they don't want to be in the friend zone.

Not some... ALL. This may be where you are confused.

 

[Abaddon]

I do not want to see Rosie O' Donell, Hillary Clinton, or Betty White naked.

 

[knowsbleed]

"All guys want to see some girls, naked" would be a more accurate statement.

 

[BRUTAL]

They don't qualify as women in my book.