I don't see why she can't date who she wants while still advocating for more representation. Does that mean you must date inside only an acceptable catagory if you want to represent or advocate? It works against equal representation when they say you must only live inside the limitations of race, gender, ethnicity, etc.
The criticism against Constance Wu is totally off base. I like her, and she's a great advocate for the Asian American community.
As I am an Asian male, though admittedly someone who really doesn't care for male-female relations in my own life, I'll attempt to explain the source of the criticism. A lot of it comes from loser incels and MRAs, but like the incel movement itself, does have a basis in a more nuanced discussion of social mores. Generally speaking, white-male/Asian-female ("WMAF") pairings are an extremely common interracial pairing in America. It is vastly disproportionately higher than the opposite configuration.
There are no real stats on this, but anybody in the Asian-American community knows this: some WMAF relationships are colorblind; two people fall in love, who happen to be of ethnicity A and B, but it doesn't enter into the relationship as such. I think Constance and her hot guy fall into that category. Some WMAF couples, however, are in fact a result of the AF openly rejecting and discounting Asian men as being good partners, for them OR FOR ANYBODY. This does not necessarily represent the majority of cases, but is a significant plurality.
And trust me, Asian women who think that way do NOT keep it a secret, and it has a bad effect on Asian men and the Asian community as a whole. Generally speaking, such open rejection occurs on three levels:
1. I'm only attracted to white men for personal reasons (fair enough, but if a guy went around announcing this, we'd call him a low-level *****e; look at the flack that some African American men get for saying that they only like white women, for instance)
2. I'm married to a white man, and thank god for that, because I'd hate to have Asian in laws (okay, I get it, but really, you're making it harder for hetero Asian men to find their own relationships among non-Asians, so, not cool)
3. I date white men because they're inherently better for the following reasons (NOT okay, I'm sorry, but the c-word applies here, the word being Check Your Privilege).
And I think one of the issues that hasn't ever been discussed is that Asian American women and feminists who have a voice, regardless of whether they believe or practice any of the above, are DEAFENINGLY silent on the issue, both in the public sphere but also in the day to day world as well. I have NEVER heard an Asian woman call out another Asian woman for gratuitously bashing Asian men, or even criticizing the specific racism directed at Asian men by white males.
I mean, when some white women have been trying to get African Americans arrested for no reason, other white women call them out. When some Muslims commit violence, other Muslims call them out. Historically, when some white men have committed atrocities against African Americans, other white men have stood shoulder to shoulder with the black community, sometimes risking their lives to do so.
Yet, this issue, which is well known in the Asian community, goes absolutely unacknowledged by Asian women, leaving the only voices on this issue to be some extremist incels on the internet. And when it comes to the public sphere, Asian women have way more sway than Asian men, although admittedly both have less presence than virtually any other ethnic group.