Dear [BLANK], please [BLANK]

[Rozen Thorne]

Dear Thanksgiving,

Native Americans are tired of you, feck off for a few years.

Sincerely,

Apologetic European Conquerors

 

[MissMarvelous]

Dear Anxiety,

Thank you for making me cook this much.

Sincerely,


What am I going to do with all this food?

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Dear 2020,

Just stand right there, don't do nothing stupid and we can all get out of this together.

Sincerely,

A whole lot of angry villagers with pitchforks and torches.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Dear dear,

We need new games.

Sincerely,


I don't know how to ruin any more superpowers.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Dear GF

Stay away from me bum ye wee maniac!

Sincerely,

Fella gettin too distracted to do any work around the house.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Dear Friend,

Stop (falsely) complaining.

Sincerely,


It's been 1 year and 1/2 since I last had sum luv.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Dear Friend,

If I could help you in any way in that area I would but I know not how.

Sincerely,

Concerned fella that thinks everyone should have someone.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Dear Monday,

Be easy on me.

Sincerely,


Really looking forward to some vacation time.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Dear Tuesday,

If yer half again as quiet and dark as Monday you can feck right off.

Sincerely,

A fella sick of the winter doldrums.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Dear Rozen,

I miss you. Come back!

Sincerely,


Me.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Dear Bed of mine,

There is nae another bed half again as comfortable as you my lass.

Sincerely,

A fella that can sleep right again.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Dear Weather,

Please make up your mind... is it summer? Is it Winter?

Sincerely,


So cold and yet so hawt.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Dear GF,

Heckin fierce welcome home it was, ya knackered me right out.

Sincerely,

A shattered oul fella.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Dear Me,

Please please please.

Sincerely,

Just please.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Dear Mother Nature,

Stop being so bipolar with the weather.

Sincerely,

A fella tired of snow!

 

[MissMarvelous]

Dear liver and kidneys,

I'm sorry.

Sincerely,


More water?

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Dear Movie Makers,

Where the feck are all the good movies worth watching, all that comes out is pure dreck!

Get your shart together, lazy fricks.

Sincerely,

A movie-watching fella

 

[MissMarvelous]

Dear Movie Makers,

I'm with him.

Sincerely,


So many titles, so much disappointment

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Dear Brain,

I give you enough sleep, why must you wake up with a headache?

Sincerely,

A fella taking pain killers.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Dear Me,

F.U.

Sincerely,


I McDid again.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Dear Muses,

Why are you ignoring me, denying me inspiration?

Sincerely,

A fella with a mental block the size of greater Manhattan.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Dear Sunday,

I will miss you.

Sincerely,

Please stay one more day... I'm not ready for Monday.

P.S.: and I need one more nap.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Dear Tall Blonde Lady,

I will miss being crushed to near death.

Ever your humble servant,

The little drunk man with the funny accent.

 

[MissMarvelous]

The little drunk man with the funny accent.

Hehehehe

 

[Rozen Thorne]

DEAR HANGOVER,

YOU CAN GO AWAY NOW, I'VE SWORN OFF HARD DRINKING FOR A WHILE

SINCERELY

SOBER GOOD BOI