Do you hold grudges against close family members?

[Evelisse]

Have you ever written off a close family member? Not for a crime or anything like that, but over just constant arguments and personal attacks? If so, do you feel you are justified in doing so?

 

[KevanG]

My father and his side of the family for a decade or so. I'm still adjusting to having him back in my life and he knows what he did wrong years back so he tries to bribe me with stuff to win my affection. I'm 30 and he's 65 and he still thinks that will work like it did when he ****ed up royally when I was a kid, give me some shiny **** and all will be well.

I get that he's trying but I honestly don't know if we'll ever really mesh.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

I have totally cut my sister off. Like, even emotionally inside my own head. She was nowhere to be found when my mother went through breast cancer and had to suffer through chemo. Then, not even a year later my father goes through his own battle with cancer and again, she is a no show. She never even made contact when my father died or attempted contact through the planning of the funereal up to the two days we had services for him. At this point, if my sister were walking across the street I'd cross 10 avenues not to be anywhere near her. This isn't even about me, it's about my mother and father. My mother is still alive and yet, not once has she tried to even reach out. Even after how she was treated during her sickness, if my sister or her daughter had shown up at the funereal, my mother would have had them sitting right next to her in the front row of the church and the funereal parlor in a place of honor.

I can't help it. That's how I feel. I'm a man, not a saint.

 

[Roose Bolton]

I don't really talk to my siblings. My brother and I are close in age but a country mile apart in everything else. We clash over just about every single thing, and there's no real respect or obligation between us either. We had a pretty big row in high school and haven't really spoken since.

With my little sister, it's more a matter of age difference and me having moved out of the house when she was small, so there's a certain distance between us.

 

[Evelisse]

I have totally cut my sister off. Like, even emotionally inside my own head. She was nowhere to be found when my mother went through breast cancer and had to suffer through chemo. Then, not even a year later my father goes through his own battle with cancer and again, she is a no show. She never even made contact when my father died or attempted contact through the planning of the funereal up to the two days we had services for him. At this point, if my sister were walking across the street I'd cross 10 avenues not to be anywhere near her. This isn't even about me, it's about my mother and father. My mother is still alive and yet, not once has she tried to even reach out. Even after how she was treated during her sickness, if my sister or her daughter had shown up at the funereal, my mother would have had them sitting right next to her in the front row of the church and the funereal parlor in a place of honor.

I can't help it. That's how I feel. I'm a man, not a saint.

very similar, my sister and I were close growing up, but with our current situation, I'm very quickly running out of reasons to ever talk to her again after my mom passes. I still feel guilty as I know it would be the last thing my mom would want, but my sister pulls the cold doesn't care attitude so well, I am running out of F's to give.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

very similar, my sister and I were close growing up, but with our current situation, I'm very quickly running out of reasons to ever talk to her again after my mom passes. I still feel guilty as I know it would be the last thing my mom would want, but my sister pulls the cold doesn't care attitude so well, I am running out of F's to give.

I am all for having an open heart and being truly forgiving... But it can't be a one way street. Mama didn't raise no fool.

 

[Roose Bolton]

One of the things I think, and this is just me...but why do we feel a sense of obligation to these people?

I mean I get that our parents want us to be there for our siblings and probably want their children to all get along, but as individuals what do we really owe these other people when they refuse to show a modicum of care? You can give and give, and in the end get **** all for it. It should go both ways or not at all in my opinion.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

One of the things I think, and this is just me...but why do we feel a sense of obligation to these people?

I mean I get that our parents want us to be there for our siblings and probably want their children to all get along, but as individuals what do we really owe these other people when they refuse to show a modicum of care? You can give and give, and in the end get **** all for it. It should go both ways or not at all in my opinion.

When it's NOT reciprocated then... Yeah, like I said, we are all flesh and blood, not saints, ya know? If you have done your familial due diligence, if you have indeed put your hand out only to have it slapped away... Then I say, let ABSENCE make the heart grow fonder. Being out of their lives might be what they need to see how much being an asshat has cost them.

 

[Roose Bolton]

Yeah. I mean, I have my limits and after a certain point I just think we should say **** it and walk away. If someone is going to consistently do hurtful and careless things without fail then I think there's really nothing for it at that point but try and divorce yourself from the situation.

 

[warhorse78]

I don't, but my parents and my mom's sister moved down to Florida to get away from all the relatives up in New York, and they pretty much written them all out except for maybe one great Aunt and Uncle. I go to visit my dad's sister and her family sometimes, and while I don't hold no grudge for anything, and I do feel they genuinely love me, I still can't help feel some sort of bitterness going on when I am with them. I doubt it's towards me, but it's aimed at my dad through me, if that makes sense.

 

[Ultron-5]

Yeah I hold some grudges. I don't hate them though, I'm just not happy with them.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

I don't have a grudge against any living family members. And as for my uncle and cousin who both killed themselves I guess it's more of a resentment I have against them than a grudge

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

As a proud black sheep I make no effort to contact snobby family members.

But I always pick up when they call.

I never liked to burn bridges completely.

 

[Bruce Banner]

Absolutely. I've cut them out and I feel better.

My little brother is a heroine addict who robbed me and never asked for forgiveness or replaced anything that was taken. Haven't spoken or seen him in a nine months and don't care to either.

One backstabbing swindler uncle and a narcissistic manipulator of a grandmother who hides behind her rosary beads wearing persona who likes to turn her children and grandchildren against each other for amusement.

 

[Mandon Knight]

Yep I have. I have my reasons.

 

[THUNDERSTRIKE]

I love my daughter, but I REFUSE to have ANYTHING to do with my extreme dikk head of a son-in-law, based on his actions in the past...

 

[OctaviusINC]

Of course. You can't chose your family. But you can chose who you want to be part of your life.

Health and happiness above all. And to live by that I cut my losses.

 

[Spider-Aziz]

No, we have a great family connection, and I'm grateful for that.
And I don't like to hold a grudge against anyone.

 

[Schlosser85]

I removed a couple family members (an aunt and uncle-in-law) from my Facebook because all they want to do is complain any time a state legalizes gay marriage or jump down my straight churchgoing cousin's throat just because he supports gay marriage, even accusing him of not being a "real" Christian and "mocking God".

Like, really?

I also have another Bible-thumper aunt who bashes on gays, says people with tattoos are freaks, thinks she's the only "real Christian" in the whole family, and meanwhile abandoned her old blind dog by the side of the road and steals from her sisters.

Ain't got time for that.

 

[Duke]

I removed a couple family members (an aunt and uncle-in-law) from my Facebook because all they want to do is complain any time a state legalizes gay marriage or jump down my straight churchgoing cousin's throat just because he supports gay marriage, even accusing him of not being a "real" Christian and "mocking God".

Like, really?

I also have another Bible-thumper aunt who bashes on gays, says people with tattoos are freaks, thinks she's the only "real Christian" in the whole family, and meanwhile abandoned her old blind dog by the side of the road and steals from her sisters.

Ain't got time for that.

I hope you or someone with compassion picked up the dog & gave him/her a good home.

 

[Kar]

As a proud black sheep I make no effort to contact snobby family members.

But I always pick up when they call.

I never liked to burn bridges completely.

Same

 

[Apollo]

I have some nuts in the family. But there is only one I try to ignore.

No, we have a great family connection, and I'm grateful for that.
And I don't like to hold a grudge against anyone.

I try to go by this. But it can be hard.

 

[Godzilla2000]

When it comes to my nuclear family members I'm pretty forgiving. Any extended family members it depends upon the severity of the offense. Like I have a cousin who is an absolute scumbag. She got my sister in trouble with the law as a teen for an act of stupid theft (Meaning she stole something of little value from a person's car and my sister was with her.) and despite my sister saying she's changed I don't see it at all. While she hasn't done anything to me just by sheer force of her character I want nothing to do with her.

 

[BatmanVSuperman]

I'm a guy, I don't hold grudges

 

[Schlosser85]

I hope you or someone with compassion picked up the dog & gave him/her a good home.

I was a kid and didn't know this happened until years later.

I have no idea what happened to the dog. Unfortunately, it probably just wandered off and died somewhere.