Do you keep pictures of your significant other at work?

[Sofa]

All of my co-workers are spousehunters so I don't have any pics up for safety purposes.

Eeek.

 

[huskerwebhead]

I have a couple of the woman, the niece and nephew, and a picture of the dog too.

 

[nosebleed.]

I have a couple of the woman, the niece and nephew, and a picture of the dog too.

The spousehunters in my office would be all over that...dog too if the coffee's strong that day.

 

[ang_hulk]

All of my co-workers are spousehunters so I don't have any pics up for safety purposes.

thats aweful.any funny examples?

 

[nosebleed.]

thats aweful.any funny examples?

Well, the guys are always talking about how they "boned" this married chick and that married chick...but the most recent "incident' went like this:

Our boss brought in brand new pics of his daughters, 21 and 18, and put them on his desk. He should've known that those pics were going to get snatched up but he must've brainfarted that day or something. Sure enough, by close of business, the pics were missing with a "ransom" note attached to his monitor. The ransom note was a polarioid of a stall in the men's bathroom. Boss goes to the stall and finds another pic of the janitor's closet...you can see where this is going. So after an hour long treasure hunt he finds a polaroid of his daughters' pictures near the office scanner. Boss goes to the scanner and retrieves his photos...end of story...for that day.

The next day, boss starts receiving phone calls asking for "Candy" and "Britney". The caller asks if they are available and what's the going rate...yadda yadda. "WRONG NUMBER!" boss keeps saying. I don't even know HOW many phone calls he received...but it was enough for him to call our telephone security guys to report possible phone spam. Bossman receives 2 separate phone calls from each of his daughters...and if you were in the same room you could hear them over the handset. Apparently their photos were posted on the local Craigslist ad board and escorts for hire. Boss's oldest daughter's friend clued her in that morning that her pic was there with the advertisement going something like this (I can't remember verbatim):

Barely legal 19 woman wants to satisfy your escort needs.
You name the price and time needed
Is very openminded
Available 24/7
Call our phone operator at (boss's number)

Boss was livid...went on rampage about how he's going to "tear everyone a new ***hole" and to stay "****ing clear of his ****". Then he took the rest of the day off and brought his daughters' pics home with him. Bad thing is, he looks at me like I'm the one that did it because I'm not innocent of playing the occasional office prank even though I'm not part of the good ol' boy club like the rest of the asshats in this office.

 

[Erzengel]

Where the f' do you work?

 

[Crooklyn]

Wow...either your boss is THE biggest ***** in town, or the employees there are hired for their huge cajones.

 

[Kritish]

I don't have any pictures in my office.

 

[Erzengel]

Alright for real this is not me being a dick.

But is it because you don't have a gf?

 

[Kritish]

Alright for real this is not me being a dick.

But is it because you don't have a gf?

Not at the moment, I had a few of my last girlfriend.

 

[nosebleed.]

Wow...either your boss is THE biggest ***** in town, or the employees there are hired for their huge cajones.

We have the kind of boss who doesn't really know a damn thing about his job. He relies heavily upon us to keep him looking intelligent in his meetings to his boss. If we weren't here then I'm pretty sure he'd be unemployed.

 

[jaguarr]

Well, the guys are always talking about how they "boned" this married chick and that married chick...but the most recent "incident' went like this:

Our boss brought in brand new pics of his daughters, 21 and 18, and put them on his desk. He should've known that those pics were going to get snatched up but he must've brainfarted that day or something. Sure enough, by close of business, the pics were missing with a "ransom" note attached to his monitor. The ransom note was a polarioid of a stall in the men's bathroom. Boss goes to the stall and finds another pic of the janitor's closet...you can see where this is going. So after an hour long treasure hunt he finds a polaroid of his daughters' pictures near the office scanner. Boss goes to the scanner and retrieves his photos...end of story...for that day.

The next day, boss starts receiving phone calls asking for "Candy" and "Britney". The caller asks if they are available and what's the going rate...yadda yadda. "WRONG NUMBER!" boss keeps saying. I don't even know HOW many phone calls he received...but it was enough for him to call our telephone security guys to report possible phone spam. Bossman receives 2 separate phone calls from each of his daughters...and if you were in the same room you could hear them over the handset. Apparently their photos were posted on the local Craigslist ad board and escorts for hire. Boss's oldest daughter's friend clued her in that morning that her pic was there with the advertisement going something like this (I can't remember verbatim):

Barely legal 19 woman wants to satisfy your escort needs.
You name the price and time needed
Is very openminded
Available 24/7
Call our phone operator at (boss's number)

Boss was livid...went on rampage about how he's going to "tear everyone a new ***hole" and to stay "****ing clear of his ****". Then he took the rest of the day off and brought his daughters' pics home with him. Bad thing is, he looks at me like I'm the one that did it because I'm not innocent of playing the occasional office prank even though I'm not part of the good ol' boy club like the rest of the asshats in this office.

Man....that's not even a funny prank. That's pretty sh1tty, really. If someone did that to me, I'd find out who it was and call their house in as a big meth lab from a cross-town payphone. If no one fessed up, I'd do it to everyone in the office. People very rarely play practical jokes on me at the office, and when they do they're pretty harmless, because I'm known for taking it far beyond the next level to the point that it was way more painful for them than it was for me. Detentes is beautiful.

jag

 

[Kyalesyin]

The one time they tried to play a prank on me at my last job I threw a full-fledged temper-tentrum, autistic kid style, until they were all so embarrased that I got my stuff back.

 

[nosebleed.]

Man....that's not even a funny prank. That's pretty sh1tty, really. If someone did that to me, I'd find out who it was and call their house in as a big meth lab from a cross-town payphone. If no one fessed up, I'd do it to everyone in the office. People very rarely play practical jokes on me at the office, and when they do they're pretty harmless, because I'm known for taking it far beyond the next level to the point that it was way more painful for them than it was for me. Detentes is beautiful.

jag

Yeah, most of the guys here aren't too keen on the funny aspect of the prank. They focus more on the "what would piss the boss off the most" portion.

But yeah, those tards are the main reason my desk is pretty barebones as far as personalization is concerned. I brought in a couple of Transformer toys one time. It was cool for a little while because they thought they were just model cars (Subaru WRX and Jeep Wrangler) until they figured out they were Transformers. So of course once they figured that out they toys were put into all sorts of compromising positions with each other. And the bad thing is is that I didn't notice right away until I saw a customer staring at them and she asked me if "those things are even capable of doing that".

 

[jaguarr]

Yeah, most of the guys here aren't too keen on the funny aspect of the prank. They focus more on the "what would piss the boss off the most" portion.

But yeah, those tards are the main reason my desk is pretty barebones as far as personalization is concerned. I brought in a couple of Transformer toys one time. It was cool for a little while because they thought they were just model cars (Subaru WRX and Jeep Wrangler) until they figured out they were Transformers. So of course once they figured that out they toys were put into all sorts of compromising positions with each other. And the bad thing is is that I didn't notice right away until I saw a customer staring at them and she asked me if "those things are even capable of doing that".

It sounds like you work with a bunch of 12 year olds.

jag

 

[Prognosticator]

Jag, you should so put a pic of your wife on here if you bother to put one up at work!

What's more important to you...*Wussy Voice* "Work" *Manly Voice* or SHH?!

 

[jaguarr]

Jag, you should so put a pic of your wife on here if you bother to put one up at work!

What's more important to you...*Wussy Voice* "Work" *Manly Voice* or SHH?!

Work is far more important to me than any of you a-holes ever will be.

jag

 

[Prognosticator]

^ is that the pot calling the kettle jag?

 

[November Rain]

does anyone have one as their screen saver or background on their phone or desktop...

that's sad, especially if its your mobile phone...

 

[jaguarr]

^ is that the pot calling the kettle jag?

No, it's me calling you an a-hole. Get it right.

jag

 

[Kyalesyin]

When my wife and I were living 300 miles apart, I had her as my desktop at home.

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

Well, the guys are always talking about how they "boned" this married chick and that married chick...but the most recent "incident' went like this:

Our boss brought in brand new pics of his daughters, 21 and 18, and put them on his desk. He should've known that those pics were going to get snatched up but he must've brainfarted that day or something. Sure enough, by close of business, the pics were missing with a "ransom" note attached to his monitor. The ransom note was a polarioid of a stall in the men's bathroom. Boss goes to the stall and finds another pic of the janitor's closet...you can see where this is going. So after an hour long treasure hunt he finds a polaroid of his daughters' pictures near the office scanner. Boss goes to the scanner and retrieves his photos...end of story...for that day.

The next day, boss starts receiving phone calls asking for "Candy" and "Britney". The caller asks if they are available and what's the going rate...yadda yadda. "WRONG NUMBER!" boss keeps saying. I don't even know HOW many phone calls he received...but it was enough for him to call our telephone security guys to report possible phone spam. Bossman receives 2 separate phone calls from each of his daughters...and if you were in the same room you could hear them over the handset. Apparently their photos were posted on the local Craigslist ad board and escorts for hire. Boss's oldest daughter's friend clued her in that morning that her pic was there with the advertisement going something like this (I can't remember verbatim):

Barely legal 19 woman wants to satisfy your escort needs.
You name the price and time needed
Is very openminded
Available 24/7
Call our phone operator at (boss's number)

Boss was livid...went on rampage about how he's going to "tear everyone a new ***hole" and to stay "****ing clear of his ****". Then he took the rest of the day off and brought his daughters' pics home with him. Bad thing is, he looks at me like I'm the one that did it because I'm not innocent of playing the occasional office prank even though I'm not part of the good ol' boy club like the rest of the asshats in this office.

Are you serious!? Ay yi yi man...that's crazy! If I were him I'd dock everyone's wages until someone came forward. Someone there knows who did what--and once you hit people in their pockets it's amazing how "honest" they become.

 

[nosebleed.]

It sounds like you work with a bunch of 12 year olds.

jag

I chalk it up to cubicle psychosis. Office Space is a realistic movie.

 

[jaguarr]

Are you serious!? Ay yi yi man...that's crazy! If I were him I'd dock everyone's wages until someone came forward. Someone there knows who did what--and once you hit people in their pockets it's amazing how "honest" they become.

If I were the boss I'd just start giving everyone so much work to do that they're FAR too busy to f**k with me anymore.

I chalk it up to cubicle psychosis. Office Space is a realistic movie.

Yeah, I work in the Land Of The Pod People as well and that movie does ring true. Though, I've never seen it get as bad as your work environment.

jag

 

[terry78]

It sounds like you work with a bunch of 12 year olds.

jag

That basically describes my office. Most of the people here are in their early 20's or fresh out of college, and they still have that mindset. I'm one of the oldest ones here at 29, and while I can **** around and crack jokes, sometimes that's all they do, and it's always the stupidest ****.