Flamer: the Series

[Max Shrek]

I'm involved.

 

[Abaddon]

*Bell rings*


Larrylegend: Don’t forget,tomorrow we’ll be having a test on Essential’s volumes three through eight.*wipes drool off his mouth*

The students stand and begin exiting.

Fray: Someone’s out of it.I’m surprised he even remembered the test.
Twylight: At least it gave us a chance to finish our JLA homework.
Fray: Good point. *walks to door* You coming?
Twylight: In a sec,I just have to take care of something.
Fray: Ok.I’ll swing by taskmistress Daisy,in the meanwhile.

The classroom empties and LL struggles to pick up his desk,while also trying to subdue the hardened beast in his pants with thoughts of winterfrost and the Chyna/X-pac sex tape.Twy calmly walks over,helping him pick up some papers


Twylight: Hey,LL do you think you could cover for my next few classes.
Larrylegend: Why?Something wrong?
Twylight: Well,its just that there’s some Flamer related stuff going on.I know Daisy could use the help,but you know how rules-y she gets.Can you just write me a note or something?
Larrylegend: I’ll see what I can do.
Twylight: Youre the best.
Larrylegend: Darn tootin’.
Twylight: That must’ve been some dream you were having
Larrylegend: Who says I was dreaming?
Twylight: You made it pretty obvious.I knew you were crushing on Daisy,but I didn't think she'd be making cameos in your dreams.
Larrylegend: What?You dont know what your talking about.
Twylight: Oh,I think after hearing you moan "Oh Daisy",my minds more clear than ever.
Larrylegend: What I didn’t say that….I was saying er,“Oh Daze Me”.
Twylight: “Oh Daze Me”?
Larrylegend: It’s an old hymn. *sings off-key* Oh Daze Me,yes Lawd.Daze me until the sun rises.Daze me with your brilliance.Daze me with your liiight.See?
Twylight: ……
Larrylegend: Was it that obvious?
Twylight: Completely.
Larrylegend: I guess the cats out of the bag.
Twylight: Have you talked to her about it?
Larrylegend: She’s been busy.And I’m sure Slag might have something to say about it.
Twylight: Slag?
Larrylegend: Yes.It seems he’s swept her off her feet.That Texan bastard.
Twylight: She hasn’t mentioned anything about Slag.
Larrylegend: Really?
Twylight: Yeah.It’s probably a good sign.Us gals always talk about the guys we date.Maybe Slag just wasn’t worth talking about.
Larrylegend: Or maybe she thinks it’s a good thing,and she doesn’t want to jinx it.
Twylight: Think positive,big bro.She’ll come around eventually.
Larrylegend: Thanks little sis,but I don’t want to get my hopes up.
Twylight: Well,there’s no harm in trying.Unless you want to come up with some other lame made-up songs.”Daze me with your brilliance”?

Larrylegend: What?That wouldve been a hit on Whose Line is it.
Twylight: Sorry big bro.Wayne Brady’s got you beat.


Twy smiles and steps out of the room.Turning the corner she suddenly feels hand press against her shoulder.

Abaddon: Peek-a-boo.
Twylight: Abba! *hugs* What are you doing here.
Abaddon: I’m just here on business.
Twylight: Right,I’d heard you’d taken an internship in the Sin City Boards.Hows it going?
Abaddon: Pretty good.How are things here?
Twylight: Chaotic.But in a fun way.
Abaddon: Hmm.Do tell…


Abaddon and Twy continue walking down the hall

 

[Abaddon]

Hype City
Officer Jonty and Flass drive down the empty streets in their squad car.

Detective Flass: Can you believe that Kipobe?Every frickin’ week,somethings going on in that school.And all he ever does is look at me like I’ve been shooting heroin!!!What a f**king ******!
Officer Jonty: it’s a shame.
Detective Flass: You’re telling me.And then there’s--- wait,a minute.What time is it?
Officer Jonty: 10 am.
Detective Flass: Nothing around here opens till noon.

Flass spots a large truck parked outside of Gammamike’s pawn shop.He pulls up closer and see’s a group of men tearing up the store.He stops in front of the truck and gets out of the car

Officer Jonty: What are you doing?
Detective Flass: My job.Come on officer.You may actually get a chance to use that gun.

Flass draws his pistol and makes his way to the entrance.He peeks in and see’s broken glass,lying all around the floor.The men appeared to have moved to the back of the store.Flass gestured to Jonty to back him up,and the officer reluctantly followed.

Detective Flass: looks like theyre stealing.
Officer Jonty: Or maybe theyre just unloading some new inventory.
Detective Flass: How long have you been on the force?
Officer Jonty: Two years.
Detective Flass: Damn rookies.We’re going in.
Officer Jonty: Shouldn’t we call for backup.
Detective Flass: No,jackass.Now come on,its about time you gained some real experience.

Flass steps in quietly and makes his way to the back.Jonty draws his own gun and mimics Flass’s movements.With a spin Flass moves into the back room catching Bison and several other Shadaloo goons pocketing valuable items.


Hyper Venom: I think I found the coin sir *holds up object*
Cyclops: Looks like the picture.
Detective Flass: FREEZE DIRTBAGS!!!

: Says who?
Detective Flass: Says me,Detective Flass.Otherwise known as the guy that’s about to bust your ass for robbery.

: Oh,right.I loved you in Police Academy.Hows that guy that does the sound effects?
Detective Flass: Very funny.The only person that’s gonna be police’d here is YOU.

 

[Abaddon]

Flass: Very funny.The only person that’s gonna be police’d here is YOU.

: Are you sure about that?

Bison snaps his fingers the other Shadaloo goons point their long phallic guns at Flass

: Seems the tables have turned detective.
Detective Flass: *points pistol at Bisons head* Not as long as I have my sights on you.

: My men will kill you where you stand.
Detective Flass: You’ll be dead before they get a shot in.

: Look,I have the advantage here,so I’ll make you a deal.You get back in your car and pretend you never saw us,and my men won’t turn this place into the Source Awards.
Detective Flass: How about I make you,since I have the advantage.You tell your men to lower their weapons,and you will peacefully come with me and get into the back of my squad car.How’s that sound?
Hyper Venom: Should we take him out now boss?

 

[Abaddon]

: No,boys.Lower your weapons.
Hyper Venom: But--

: Just do it.


The Shadaloo members lower their weapons and seeing this,Jonty steps forward a bit.

Officer Jonty: I got your back Flass.
Detective Flass: Smart thinking,officer.

: Jonty,so good to see you.
Detective Flass: You know this jerk,Jonty?
Officer Jonty: His names E. Bison. Notorious criminal.Wanted in 10 boards.Very dangerous man.

: Tee-hee.
Detective Flass: Well then,looks like we caught ourselves a big fish.I’ll bet there’s a promotion in store for both of us.You wanna reel him in?
Officer Jonty: No, I’ve got a better idea.

Jonty shifts his aim to Flass’s back.Turning to face him,the detective is instantly hit with a barrage of bullets.A look of pleasure creeps over Bisons face as he watches the Detective jerk wildly from the force of the bullets turning him to swiss cheese.The only thought that comes over Flass’s mind was if he’d become a famous rapper like 50 cent if he managed to survive the incident. Jonty continues firing with an expressionless face until he finally empties his clip into Flass’s body.The man immediately hit’s the ground with a chilling thud.

: I think you just earned yourself a promotion.
Jonty: Thanks boss,but I was planning on killing at some point anyway.

: Better sooner than later.That kill was actually quite arousing.Hell,I almost came,just standing here.
Officer Jonty: You gotta love the work you do.

 

[Abaddon]

Cut to Hype High School Library
Fray steps through the doors of the library and enters to find Daisy directing a tall muscular green hulk carrying a large box.

Daisy: You can set it down over there.
Psycho Hulk: Here?
Daisy: Yes,that’s fine.


He sets down the box near the book depository and stretches his arms

Daisy: Thanks a lot Hulk.I really appreciate.
Psycho Hulk: Hulk do anything for pretty lady.:0
Daisy: Aww,youre sweet.
Psycho Hulk: Daisy need more help?
Daisy: No,not right now.
Psycho Hulk: OK…me go and come back later.
Daisy: Ok.Thanks again.

Psycho Hulk grins and waves as he walks away backwards.Daisy smiles politely and goes toward her books.PH then turns around and knocks into a pipe.

Psycho Hulk: OWWWW!!!!
Fray: Are you alright?
Psycho Hulk: STUPID PIPE.HULK SMASHYOU!!!

PH grabs the pipe rips it from its place,and starts bedning and twisting it.

Psycho Hulk: GRRR!!!!!!
Fray: um,I think its dead.
Daisy: Hulk,whats going on?
Psycho Hulk: Me sowwy Daisy.Hulk make boo-boo.Me go now. *runs off*
Fray: Well…it’s hard to find sane help these days.
Daisy: He’s a very nice young man.He just has a temper sometimes.
Fray: I’ll say
Daisy: What do you expect,he has a Hulk avatar.
Fray: Yeah,and from the looks of it, he’s been peeling gamma irradiated paint.
Daisy: Now that’s not nice.
Fray: I know.I think all this stress is getting to me.Don’t I get Flamer vacations?
Daisy: Not in this reality.
Fray: This job sucks.
Daisy: At least it pays well.
Fray: I get payed?Damn, I need a lawyer.
Daisy: I mean you get payed in humility,and the satisfaction in knowing youre doing something good.
Fray: Can I trade that in for cash?
Daisy: No.Now help me get this stuff out.

Daisy grabs a boxcutter from the desk and walks over to the box on the floor.Fray sighs and follows.Daisy gently cuts the tape and opens the box to reveal a series of books,charms,and electronic equipment.

Fray: Whats this for?
Daisy: Inventory.I ordered it last week.Should be some useful stuff in here.
Fray: I can’t hardly wait.
Daisy: Could you at least pretend to be excited?
Fray: yes,but only for sarcasm.
Daisy: Youd best save that for later.We’ve got to get to work on this case.
Fray: God there’s always something up here.You can't turn around without having to fight some fiend that springs up from below.It's like a bidet.A bidet of evil.
Daisy: *picks up a book* According to my records,SHHdale was built in the Community Boards centuries ago on what the natives called “teh h0le of t3h ssp@m”
Fray: And that translates to…?
Daisy: Spamhole,or Hellhole really since spam was commonly identified with evil and the like.We are basically sitting on a magnet for spammers,trolls,and other social misfits.It not only draws them,but it creates them,and spreads all kinds of wickedness.
Fray: Guess that explains why there’s always something up in this part of town.Why don’t the mods just shut this place down.
Daisy: I don’t really know.The mods work in mysterious ways.I do know that whatever mods were here forsook this place.Dew and Malice took the reigns and stopped it from turning becoming overrun with the baddies.Here,look.

Daisy shows Fray the book,pointing to a crude drawing with what appears to be a large fiery anus.

Fray: Interesting.

 

[Abaddon]

Matt steps into the library.

Matt: I think Bison and his cronies are up to something.
Daisy: What gives you that impression?
Matt: I saw Jollyjohnny chatting it up on his cell.
Fray: Maybe he was talking to his momma.
Matt: Sure,if momma’s code for E. Bison.
Fray: eh,whatever.Bisons too incompetent for me to worry about right now.
Matt: And we’d be incompetent not to consider him a threat.
Fray: Hmm..kind of a double-edged sword,but I’ll take my chances.
Daisy: Sword…of course! *goes into the backroom*
Fray: Yes,sword.Exactly.Brilliant.Why didn’t we think of it before?It all makes perfect sense now.
Matt: What is she talking about?
Fray: I have no clue.

Daisy returns holding a thick,Tolstoy-sized book.She plops it on the desk,and begins searching through the pages.

Daisy: The Order of Set was notorious for stealing valuable artifacts.But each item was stolen for a specific reason. In one of their last appearances, they attempted to raid the Spidey Embassy.Their plan failed,and all but one of them escaped.The captured member mentioned the Sword of Ecilam before an explosive in his anus was detonated.
Matt: Sounds messy
Daisy: it took out half a wing.
Fray: So whats so special about this sword?.
Daisy: According to myth the Sword of Ecilam was used to slay The Great Betrayer.

Daisy stops at a page with the image of a shining broad sword,with a silver skull on its handle.

Daisy: The sword itself is supposedly linked with many prophecies,and is supposed to have some sort of mystical properties.
Matt: Cool.Any idea where it is?
Daisy: It was said to have been lost in an update,and now sits misplaced somewhere in a dead thread.I’ll have to do some more research.
Fray: Good.You take care of that,and I’ll try and see if I can find any leads on these guys.
Daisy: Don’t you have a JLA class.
Fray: um..yeah.I meant I’ll go after class.DuH!
Daisy: ok.

Fray walks away innocently,and then scurries out the door

Daisy: She’s not going to class,is she?
Matt: Not a chance.

 

[Abaddon]

As Fray hurries down the hallway,she catches a glimpse of Twy laughing as she turns a corner.She quickly follows the laughter and spots Twy standing outside the JLA classroom.

Fray: psst..Twy.
Twylight: Yea?
Fray: *whispers* come here.
Twylight: *moves over* What is it?
Fray: I’m not going to class,I need you to cover for me.
Twylight: Sure,where are you headed?
Fray: *sighs* Herr Logan’s.
Twylight: Oh,I see.
Fray: He’s probably the only person in town who would know anything about the Order.
Twylight: Yea,that’s a great excuse to see him.
Fray: Quiet,you.This is just business.
Twylight: Sure it is.
Fray: He irritates me.
Twylight: Ah,come on.He can’t be that bad.
Fray: No,he’s worse.He’s a jerk,and he’s full of himself.He’s like an angry muppet.
Twylight: I can see it now.He’s Humphrey Bogart,and youre Ingrid Bergman…
Fray: and youre insane.What were you cackling about before anyway?
Twylight: Oh,I was just talking to Abba.
Fray: You were talking to a Swedish pop group from the 70’s.
Twylight: No him *turns around*

Twy finds the hallway is barren.She looks around frantically

Twylight: He was just here.Didn’t you see him?
Fray: I didn’t see anybody with you.
Twylight: That can’t be.
Fray: Maybe he went to the bathroom.
Twylight: Yeah,that’s it.

DUNDUNDUN!


Cut to warehouse.
Outside what has turned into a makeshift torture chamber,Silver Sable screams are heard on the other side of the door.Mongo and Triligors tend to Illchill’s wounds

Mongo: Sounds like she isn’t taking it well.
Triligors: I wonder how long she’ll last.
Illchill: Can’t be that long,shoot.DG is straight trippin’ yo’.
Mongo: I don’t envy her.


Inside the room Silver Sable sits strapped tightly to chair sweating heavily after hours of torture.


Dorian Gray: Now,are you ready to talk?
Silver Sable: Yes,yes.Oh god,just make it stop.
Dorian Gray: Alright.

 

[Abaddon]

Dorian walks over to the television in front of her and stops the video.Calmly he pushes the eject button on the VCR and pulls out the tape

Dorian Gray: Not many people can last as long as you did.Most people generally end up catatonic after experiencing the compilation of works of Uwe Bole and Joel Schumacher.Youre a tough cookie.
Silver Sable: Youre sick.
Dorian Gray: You flatter me.Now,tell me what I want to know.
Silver Sable: I don’t remember. *fiddles with restraints*
Dorian Gray: You know,I thinkI have a copy of the original Fantastic Four movie somewhere…
Silver Sable: ok,fine!I’ll tell you.
Dorian Gray: Good.Where is the location of the Sword of Ecilam?
Silver Sable: Buried deep….in a tomb…
Dorian Gray: Where?!
Silver Sable: The Sword is guarded…you’ll never reach it.
Dorian Gray: In a matter of hours I will find the coins so…*grabs her face* Just tell me…where it is?


Seconds later Dorian bursts out of the room

Dorian Gray: Get ready boys,we’re leaving
Mongo: And the girl?
Dorian Gray: No time for her.We have a coin to find.


Safe Haven For Those Who Demand More
Fray travels up the flight of steps to the apartment on the upper floor.She knocks on the door firmly

Logan: *opens the door* I see you found my place ok.It‘s common courtesy to let people know youre coming.
Fray: This isn’t a social call.
Logan: What’s up?
Fray: Apocalypse. *pushes him aside and steps in*
Logan: Hm. *shuts the door*
Fray: Well,a potential one at least.You know anything about any local gangs?
Logan: Ah,so now you come back to me for help…again.
Fray: Just answer the damn question.
Logan: There are multitudes of gangs.You looking for one,you may want to make with the details.
Fray: The Order of Set.
Logan: Sounds familiar.What’d they do?
Fray: They’ve been stealing artifacts.Word has it,they hired some troll for help.
Logan: Let me guess,the troll screwed them.
Fray: Basically.How’d you figure?
Logan: Common sense,really.That and word on the streets is that someone put a hit out for a thieving troll last week.
Fray: What do you know about the Order?
Logan: I know that theyre dangerous.You sure you aren’t looking for the troll?
Fray: I’m not worried about him.
Logan: Good.The Order is one deadly group.They’ll destroy anything and anyone that gets in their way.Any idea of what their stealing?
Fray: Something about a sword.
Logan: Sword…

Logan stands and walks over to his small library of books.He picks an old dusty copy from the top shelf,and flips through it

Logan: That wouldn’t happen to be the Sword of Ecilam ,would it?
Fray: Bingo.
Logan: The Order’s been after it for some time.
Fray: Why?
Logan: It’s long been believed the sword has mystical properties.They thought that by using the sword EML’s blood stained they could resurrect him. *reads a page* Also something about a prophecy…
Fray: So they just want to use the sword to bring some ancient Mod back from death?What ever happened to clubs having hobbies.Collecting stamps,fishing…things that didn’t involve murder or resurrecting the ungrateful dead.And what the hell kinda name is EML anyway?
Logan: It stands for Erik Magnus Lensherr.
Fray: Can’t say that’s any more impressive.
Logan: heh.
Fray: So resurrecting an evil Mod.I’m on it. *turns to leave*
Logan: I’ll come with you.
Fray: Why?
Logan: Because youre going to need my help.
Fray: Somehow I doubt that.
Logan: Look,youre not the only hero in this town.Sooner or later we’re going to need to help each other.
Fray: Hero?Is that what you call yourself?
Logan: I think it’s a suitable word.
Fray: Whatever.You can go do your recon,and I’ll do mine.
Logan: Great.Then we can compare notes while the world is crumbling around us.
Fray: Whatever.I got what I came for.You can do whatever you want,I’ve got an apocalypse to prevent.
Logan: So is that,then?You just came here to pump me for information?
Fray: What else would I pump you for?
Logan:….
Fray: I should probably edit that..
Logan: At least for your own sake.

 

[Abaddon]

Fray: I’m leaving now.
Logan: Not without me.
Fray: Look,I'm sorry if your tired of being cooped up here,doing who-knows-what all day,but I can handle this.
Logan: What do you mean by who-knows-what?
Fray: You tell me.
Logan: Well I'm not doing what you think I'm doing.
Fray: What,*********ing?I doubt it.With those claws I imagine you’d end up with julienne penis.
Logan: Funny.
Fray: What do you do here all day?

Logan walks over to a desk,where a monitor sits viewing the discussion hall below.Blackhardknight and Hunter Rider are seen on talking on the screen

Logan: Chat up some friends.Come up with ideas for making better superhero films.
Fray: Do they even realize youre watching them?
Logan: Probably not.But it gives me some time to reflect on what they’ve said and come up with some better ideas of my own.I’m not always a people person.
Fray: So this is your view of socialization?
Logan: I go down there,of course.I just like to think up ideas here in the comforts of home.
Fray: You mean this dark,gloomy apartment…
Logan: Yes.
Fray: Well,isn’t that byronic.
Logan: So where are these troll-worshiping smegmaliths anyway?
Fray: I figure theyre looking for some special coin.Its in the museum.
Logan: Then that’s we’re going.

Logan walks to the closet and opens the door,revealing a large Gilmore Girls poster on the inside of the door.

Logan: Um…you probably should ignore that.

 

[Abaddon]

cut to Hype High School hallways
Twy stops by a water fountain to get a drink only to find it covered in a green gooey slime.

Twylight: Eww
Abaddon: This place never was all that sanitary.
Twylight: Abba!Where were you?
Abaddon: Potty.
Twylight: I was worried.
Abaddon: I just went to go take a leak.
Twylight: Right,but its not always safe in this school.
Abaddon: Yeah,if youre not careful you might actually learn something.
Twylight: I’m serious.Bad things happen in this school.
Abaddon: Not too surprising.The guy in the urinal next to me was moaning and *********ing to some chick named Aunt Petunia.It was awkward.
Twylight: Awkwardness is the least of our worries here.
Abaddon: Sounds exciting.
Twylight: More than you know.
Abaddon: Guess,I’ll have plenty of fun here.
Twylight: Youre staying?
Abaddon: Yup.I already registered for classes.
Twylight: Cool.Maybe you can hang out with us sometime.
Abaddon: I’m more of a spectator
Twylight: Where are you headed now?
Abaddon: Advanced Thread Starting.
Twylight: Me too.It’s a boring class.
Abaddon: We’ll see…

As they continue walking they pass Toven talking to a short,chubby girl.

Pie4Me: I still don’t get why you want to be friends now.You used to make fun of me all the time last year.
Toven: That was then,this is now.
Pie4Me: I don’t get it.Youre popular,you don’t need me.
Toven: yeah,but I’m always around pretty people.And when your around pretty people its hard for other people to see how pretty you are.It’s like being a box full of shiny jewelry.
Pie4Me: I’m still not following.
Toven: Okay well,youre ugly right?So if you start hanging around me,people will see how pretty I am.Plus since you look like s**t,my prettiness will be up 40 % whenever your around.Look I made a chart.

Toven pulls out a large chart full of stats and figures,along with a picture of herself on a pony,and a picture of Pie eating a Krispy Kremes building and all its occupants.

Toven: See?
Pie4Me: I’m not going to be friends with you.
Toven: Why not? *points to bar graph* By hanging out with me,it’ll increase your popularity exponentially
Pie4Me: hmm..that is tempting.
Toven: Not only that but you’ll get invited to all the cool parties,and get all the best gossip first.
Pie4Me: um...I don’t know.
Toven: Do you want to die a lonely fat loser,or do you want to be popular?
Pie4Me: Popular I guess.
Toven: Friends?
Pie4Me: Friends.

 

[Abaddon]

Toven: Great.Maybe my prettiness will rub off on you.
Pie4Me: Really?J
Toven: Nah,who am I kidding.


Hype Library

Daisy: This isn’t getting us very far.
Matt: Youre telling me.Hundreds of years of Hype history in this book,and not one damn mention of a McDonalds.
Daisy: Youre supposed to be looking up the Sword of Ecilam.
Matt: Oh..right.
Daisy: Nevermind.I doubt there’s much info in these books anyway.I’ll try and see if the Viewers Council has anything.
Matt: You know Star Jones?
Daisy: Not the View.The Viewers Council.The people I work for.
Matt: You work for the guys that control the Nielsen Ratings?
Daisy: ……
Matt: What?

Daisy shakes her head and walks away

Matt: Tell me!I hate it when people do that.


GammaMike’s Pawn Shop
Several squad cars surround the place as Detective Flass’s body is rolled into the ambulance.A black covering lays on his bullet-ridden corpse.A few news vans pull up and set up their equipement.Officer Jonty stands to side talking to the others.

Officer Jonty: It was a massacre.They tied us up,then when Flass asked to go the bathroom,they shot him to death.It was awful.
Officer Elmo: What did they look?
Officer Jonty: I don’t know.They were masked.One of them was a woman.She was strong.And I think she had a Men in Black quote in her sig.
Officer Elmo: Interesting…but why didn’t they kill you?
Officer Jonty: Because I kept my mouth shut.
Officer Elmo: I see…by why was your gun found empty?
Officer Jonty: I told you,they took my gun and used it on Flass.
Officer Elmo: Hmm…
Officer Jonty: *pokes him* Are you saying you don’t believe me?!
Officer Elmo: No,heh.I’m just being thorough.
Officer Jonty: I don’t need to be called a liar by some lunatic,who was shooting up a school last week.
Officer Elmo: Well,at least I’m not whining about it like a little b**ch.
Officer Jonty: Easy for you to say,you weren’t there.You didn’t see him die!*pokes him*
Officer Elmo: Hey,cut it out,f***er!
Officer Jonty: Never!

Jonty poked Elmo repeatedly till he falls over holding his sides,convulsing wildly on the ground

Officer Elmo: Hahaheehee Hahaheehee!!That tickles.

 

[Abaddon]

The Order of Set pulled up in a van just a few feet away

Dorian Gray: The Flamer must have got to it first.
Illchill: We can still get da other one,yo’.Should be at the museum,fo sho’.
Mongo: he’s right.We should get there before the Flamer finds out where it is.
Dorian Gray: Then off we go. *pulls off*


cut to Applebee’s
The Shadaloo Army cackle away as they stuff down their celebratory meals.

: So I said to him,”I’d hit it….with a truck!!”
Cyclops: That’s great.
Hyper Venom: Brilliant Bison.

: Naturally.Now, how much do you think this coin will be worth,Elijya?
Elijya: Quite a bit,considering there’s only three of them.

: only three?

 

[Abaddon]

Elijya: yeah,they were scattered about.Supposedly they lead to something important

: Like what?
Elijya: I’m not exactly sure.

: Well,whatever it is,its got to be worth more than all three coins combined.
Elijya: probably,yeah.

: Then what the hell are we doing here?We got to find those other coins!
Hyper Venom: What about our lunch?

: Dine and ditch,boys.Dine and ditch.

They quickly hop out of their seats and run out the door.


Just outside the SHHdale DMV
Fray and Logan make their way to the Hype Museum

Logan: so do you plan on finding this sword?
Fray: If need be.
Logan: Do you have a location?
Fray: Someone’s working on it…I think.If not,I’ll let the fates decide whether I should find it.
Logan: A little theurgic don’t you think?
Fray: eh,whatever.
Logan: I would think youd be a little more enthusiastic about hunting down a mythical sword.
Fray: Not really interested.
Logan: Not even a little?
Fray: Once the past is buried,I don’t see a reason in drudging it up again.
Logan: sometimes the past is worth digging up.
Fray: Funny,coming from you.
Logan: Why’s that?
Fray: Go into a murderous rampage lately?
Logan: There were different circumstances.It was an error in judgement.I had a breakdown,and now I’m better.See,unlike you I can deal with the past.
Fray: And yet your eye twitches everytime I mention that blemish in your oh-so-perfect history.
Logan: Well hearing you bring it up so much tends to grate on the nerves.Which is funny coming from someone who claims to want to leave the past buried.Maybe youre trying to hide something from your past.

 

[Abaddon]

Fray: Excuse me?Who are you to even cast any kind of judgment on me.
Logan: Struck a nerve didn’t I?You seem so fixated on burying your past by bringing up mine.But it’s only a matter of time,before youre knee-deep in your own s**t.What exactly are you trying to hide,huh?Drugs?Illicit sex?Transgender operation?
Fray: Youre an idiot.
Logan: Ouch that hurt.That completely and utterly,invalidated my comment.Your superior mental abilities have bested me.I only wish I could learn how to verbally disarm an opponent like you do.
Fray: You don’t get laid much,do you?
Logan: Ooh,another zinger.There’s that Flamer charm.
Fray: You ever get tired of being a jerk?
Logan: Dunno.You ever get tired of being ineffective?
Fray: Your lucky there are more important things at stake right now,because I feel the intense urge to ineffectively beat you into a bloody pulp.
Logan: Our all our conversations gonna end up in an argument?
Fray: Until you learn some social skills,I’m afraid so.
Logan: I don’t lack social skills.
Fray: Right,you just choose not to use them.That makes you an even bigger ass****.
Logan: Alright,now youre starting to piss me off.
Fray: As if that were a challenge.It must hard being right all the time.
Logan: It’s only hard when youre dealing with mulish people.
Fray: Said the pot to the kettle
Logan: I suggest you find a way to end this now,cause I’m just catching my second wind.
Fray: Tell me,Logan.Where do these arguments get you?Do they put you in some happy place,where you can pat yourself on the back for being superior?Youre a sad little man.No wait--a sad,little troll.
Logan: uh-oh.The great Flamer got her feelings hurt,so now she has to break out the “t” word.How juvenile.If speaking my mind,and pointing out the ignorance in ill-bred little vermin,then tonight I’ll proudly make myself a billy goat stew,sister.
Fray: You don’t want people to like you do you?
Logan: Is this another way to convince yourself I’m not worth liking.
Fray: oh please,don’t give that self-pitying bulls**t.You’ve done everything to make me not like you.And guess what?Mission accomplished! I’m not going keep catering to your constant need to be in verbal fisticuffs with someone.You want to hold a conversation,then talk to me like I’m human.

 

[Abaddon]

Logan: Feh,I can’t count the number of times I’ve tried to be civil to you,and each time you’ve rejected my kindness.Obviously you can’t handle someone treating you like a person.
Fray: Typical machismo rhetoric.If you meant to be nice,then you’d be nice.And If you had any decent principles,we’d be Jim dandy.
Logan: You want to be angry at me,then be angry.Then again,how could I expect more from dense trollop,making moral assessments with the ideals of a five year old.
Fray: Big talk from a whiny little mama’s boy.
Logan: Step,off.
Fray: that’s great.this conversation is over now.I have enough idiots to deal with today.I don’t need another some condescending ass**** joining that list.I’m done with you.
Logan: Then make like the wind and blow me.
Fray: F**k off!. *walks away*
Logan: That ended better than I expected.

 

[Abaddon]

Paradoxium’s Advanced Thread Starting Class

Paradoxium: And so you see, the key to good thread starting is organizing a topic that interest both you and other members of the community.For tonight,I want you all to prepare your threads for peer review.

The bell rings then awakening Twy from her slumber.

Twylight: *yawns* That was fascinating. Did you manage to stay awake?

Twy looks at the seat next to her and finds it empty.

Twylight: What the--? *turns to Happenstance* Did you see the new guy sitting next to me?
Happenstance: New guy?I didn’t see anybody.
Twylight: He was sitting right next to me.
Happenstance: How’d he look?
Twylight: Gorgeous,with deep penetrating eyes,and the cutest dimples.
Happenstance: Maybe you left him behind when you woke up. *exits*

Twy stands and walks over to Para

Twylight: um..did you see where the new student went?Abaddon.
Paradoxium: There’s no Abaddon in this class.
Twylight: He’s new.He just registered.
Paradoxium: I don’t see his name on my list.
Twylight: That can’t be.He registered.He was here,sitting next to me I saw him.
Paradoxium: Twy you know I always assign seats,and according to my seating chart no one was sitting next to you.
Twylight: That’s not true…he was here.He was here…*runs out screaming* ABBA!!!!!
Lisea: Uggh Groupies.


Back at the Library
Daisy steps out of the room to find Gunny has joined Matt in being utterly useless.

Daisy: Found a location for the Order.Its some warehouse, in RPG town.
Gunny: Should we go check it out?
Daisy: It might interfere with the nothingness you two are occupied with.

The phone rings and Daisy moves to the desk and answers

Daisy: hello?
Fray: Hey its me.I’m outside the museum.
Daisy: oh,well I found the Order’s hideout.
Fray: Can’t be bothered to check that out now,theyre probably on their way here.
Daisy: Youre going to stop them?
Fray: No,I’m gonna steal the coin before they get here.
Daisy: How?
Fray: I’ll figure something out.
Daisy: Did you find any info?
Fray: Yeah,the Order is trying to find the Sword of Ecilam so they can use it to resurrect the Mod formerly known as EML.
Daisy: Then we’ve got to find the sword first.
Fray: And how do we do that?
Daisy: Well the coins can only be used in one location.When the three of them are placed in the correct position, they act as a key which should lead to the Sword.

 

[Abaddon]

Fray: Any else?
Daisy: That’s all I got so far.
Fray: Fine.In the meantime,you guys can keep searching for the other coins.
Daisy: Alright,be careful.And clear your pm box! *hangs up*

Daisy: You guys are gonna help me with some research.
Matt: But I wanted to play with my Ultra Omega Gamma Gamestation 360.
Gunny: Please tell me that’s not what you call your penis.
Matt: it’s a portable device that plays games,music,tv,movies,and porn.
Daisy: Okay…but does it tell time?
Matt: In eight different countries.It can also take pictures,record video,send messages,grill chicken,perform CPR, and can even be used as a telephone.
Daisy: Is all that even necessary?
Matt: DON”T QUESTION MY PRODUCT PURCHASE!

Daisy: Where’s Twy?

Cut to hallways
Twy runs about frantically searching for Abddon.She pokes her head in and out of classrooms.Just then Kipobe stops her.

Principal Kipobe: What the hell are you doing running around with your clothes on?
Twylight: I’m looking for my friend,Abaddon.
Principal Kipobe: Well he’s clearly not your friend if he’s making you around here like an insane person
Twylight: He was here and then they said he didn’t belong here.But I saw him!He wouldn’t just leave,something mustve happened.
Principal Kipobe: *pats her back* Relax.Calm down.Just come into my office,where we can discuss this.
Twylight: Ok.
Principal Kipobe: I’ll just call Coach Brodie in and we’ll have your bra off in no time.
Twylight: What?
Principal Kipobe: I mean friend!Yes,we’ll have your sexy friend back in no time.
Twylight: Abaddons a guy.
Principal Kipobe: eeh..we’ll make it work somehow.

 

[Abaddon]

Kipobe leads her into his office and theyre instantly taken aback by the smell of spam.Kipobe leans in and see’s Toven and her posse laying about the office languidly,as a George Foreman grill sits on his desk filling the room with the smoke from the burning spam.

Tuki: Dude…
Toven: Dude…
CLW: Dude?
Jackcool: Dude.
Tuki: Dude
Pie4Me: Dude…
Toven: Shut up.
Principal Kipobe: Whats going on in here?
Jackcool: Chillax pikobe.We’re just havin fun.
Principal Kipobe: By spamming in my office?
Tuki: Pretty much,yes.
Principal Kipobe: *turns to Twy* Excuse me,but your Abalone friend will have to wait.
Twylight: I understand. *steps out*


Kipobe closes the door behind her,and locks it.

Principal Kipobe: What the hell is wrong with you guys?How dare you spam in my office without me.
Toven: There’s still some more left in the grill.

Principal Kipobe: Sweet.

Kipobe grabs some spam and rolls up a blunt.

Principal Kipobe: I miss this

Meanwhile in the streets of SHHdale, Fray heads into a small alley located just a yard away from the museum. She searches around hoping to find a back entrance, and is startled by a light tap on the shoulder. She instanly jumps back and turns in a fighting stance prepared to face her possible attacker

The Spawn: Edgy much?
Fray: You really need to not sneak up on me.
The Spawn: Couldn’t help it.
Fray: I think you were a stalker in a past life.
The Spawn: That information is classified.
Fray: Right…why are you here now?
The Spawn: You trying to pull heist?
Fray: Maybe.
The Spawn: I brought some equipment.

 

[Abaddon]

He pulls out a small box from behind his cape and hands it to her

Fray: How was that being held up back there?
TheSpawn: That information is classified.
Fray: Nice.

She opens the box and finds an assortment of small metallic balls

Fray: You didn’t neuter a robot,did you?
TheSpawn: Those are smoke bombs.
Fray: What,no grappling hook?
TheSpawn: It’s the best I could come up with at the last minute.Along with this… *hands her a rolled up paper*
Fray: Which is?
TheSpawn: The location of the third coin.
Fray: What about the other two?
TheSpawn: You haven’t seen the news?An antique store was raided earlier today.I believe one of the coins was there.
Fray: The Order has it.
TheSpawn: That was I suspected,but upon investigating the scene it doesn’t seem like it.
Fray: Well who else could it be?
TheSpawn: I can’t be sure at this point,but chances are they’ll reveal themselves eventually.Which reminds me,youre running out of time.
Fray: Always full of good news,aren’t ya?
TheSpawn: You should grateful I’m helping you.
Fray: Ho do you even know all this stuff?Who told you I was the Flamer?Who the hell are you?
TheSpawn: That information is classified.
Fray: You never had any friends as a child,did you?
TheSpawn: That information is---
Fray: Classified?I figured.

Unbeknownst to both of them,the Order of Set parked in an alley opposite them,and began taking out equipment.

Mongo: Should we go over the plan?
Dorian Gray: We go in create a diversion.Illchill crawls through the vent and gets to the coin while everyone’s distracted.
Jaguarr: Tight.
-jag
Illchill: Fo' sho's,yo.The Order's comin' through like Scooby Doo.
Mongo: Don't talk anymore.
Triligors: Seriously,now its just sad.
Illchill: Playa haters.
Dorian Gray: Lets roll.


Dorian,Mongo,and Jaguarr grab individual briefcases and make their way to the front of the buildings entrance.Triligors waits in the van's drivers seat and Illchill yanks off the covering of the air vent,and begins to make his way through.

 

[Abaddon]

Inside the Hype Museum of Natural History
Fray stares at the exhibit where the coin was held.It was in a glass display with a sign on the wall that read “PreNoobian Artifacts”.It sat there on a pedestal, surrounded by various other objects believed to have belonged to the primordial age.She stared closely at the object trying to figure out a way in.Air vent?No,that would be stupid…and cliché.“I knew I shouldve watched The Thomas Crown Affair.Or hell even The Italian Job.“ she thought to herself..She began considering just breaking into the display the old fashion way,when a long line tracing down the wall crossed into her field of vision.It was a door,and likely the only one that would lead into the display.There had to be a room behind the display,and if she could somehow find her into that room,stealing the artifact would be a synch.But how?She glanced around the corner of the display to the small corridor adjacent,and there it was.The door that would give her easy access to the artifact.Unfortunately she could tell it was locked,and without the key she wouldn’t be able to go in.Crap.

Just then.Logan approached with a gruff,yet apologetic look on his face



Logan: I know youre probably still pissed at me,but I think we’re going to have to get along for the sake of the mission.
Fray: I agree.
Logan: And so,I’ll be the bigger man and apologize.I didn’t mean to get so coarse,before.I may have crossed the line.
Fray: Can’t argue with that.
Logan: um…aren’t you going to say something?
Fray: Not really.
Logan: So youre just gonna let me be the bigger man.
Fray: Pretty much.
Logan: Unexpected.
Fray: Why?Were you trying to trick me into apologizing as well by offering me the chance to one-up as the bigger man?
Logan: Well,not exactly but--
Fray: Its in the past.I’m over it
Logan: cool,I guess.
Fray: You still interested in getting this thing done?
Logan: Damn right.
Fray: Good.
Logan: So whats the plan?
Fray: plan?
Logan: You do have one,don’t you?
Fray: Sure,I go into the museum.I steal the coin.I find a way to squish the bad guys for good.
Logan: Youre more naïve then I thought,if you actually think that’s going to work.
Fray: I didn’t exactly ask you to come along.
Logan: There’s no way youre going to walk out of that museum with a priceless artifact.
Fray: Wanna bet?
Logan: Considering you don’t have a plan,I don’t think that’d be in your best interest.
Fray: Whats that smell? *sniffs air* Oh,yeah its chicken.
Logan: Don’t do this to yourself.
Fray: Bwawk,Bwawk,Bwawk.
Logan: I’ll bet you my entire ASM collection.
Fray: Throw in your subscription to NetFlix and it’s a deal.
Logan: Done
Fray: good.
Logan: Now,how do you plan on pulling this off.
Fray: Easy,there’s a door behind the exhibit.All I have to do is walk right through and nab the coin.
Logan: Piece of cake..I mean,if youre the Flash.
Fray: I can do it.
Logan: What about the security camera’s?
Fray: Smoke bombs should take care of that.
Logan: And you think no one will notice that?
Fray: That’s where you come in.
Logan: Explain.confused:
Fray: Diversion.
Logan: Diversion?
Fray: Diversion.
Logan: How?
Fray: *tears off a piece of her shirt* Like this. *points to him* TROLLLLL!!!!!!HEEELLLLLLLPPPP TROLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!HELPPPP!!!!SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!
Logan: What-the-?


Several guards enter the scene and approach Herr Logan

Fray: He’s dangerous!He tried to hurt me!!All I said was that I didn’t think Fantastic Four was all that bad and he went berserk

The guards try to grab him,but Logan shoves them away.They all then leap on him simultaneously.Fray quickly snatches a pair of keys off one of the guards and heads towards the corridor adjacent to the exhibit

 

[Abaddon]

Back in the High School,
Daisy,Matt,and Gunny march out of the library

Gunny: Shouldn’t we take weapons?
Matt: Figures.you would say that.Fray and I handle stuff like this all the time,without weapons.Eventually you’ll learn the ropes.
Gunny: Whatever,I’m bringing a spork,just in case I have to jab into some guys nuts.
Matt: That wont work.
Gunny: You sure about that? *waves the spork menacingly near his crotch*
Matt: Forget I said anything.
Daisy: I have weapons in the car.
Matt: Wait,shouldn’t we get Twy?
Daisy: There’s not much time..
Matt: It’ll just take a sec.

Matt spots Bored drinking from the gooey slimed fountain

Matt: Uh,hey Bored.
Bored: Hay is for horses.
Matt: Ok…anyway,have you seen Twy?
Bored: Yes,Bored has.
Matt: Where?
Bored: She farted in my salad,now what are you staring at mongoose head?
Matt: What?
Bored: Oh,a comedian eh?Here’s a riddle for you: whats the weather like in Prague?
Matt: I don’t know.
Bored: No one visits Prague anymore.
Matt: Where the hell is Twy?
Bored: She swallowed the earth.It was lovely.
Matt: Where did you last see her?
Bored: Bored thinks the Beast saw her last.
Matt: What beast?

LL spots Daisy looking at her watch impatiently and casually hovers over.He yawns a bit,but she remains oblivious to his presence.With a firm thrust,he turns right, hitting her in the shins


Daisy: OW!
Larrylegend: Oops,sorry.Didn’t see you there.
Daisy: Its alright I-- Oh Larry.
Larrylegend: Oh hi,Daisy.
Daisy: Youre in a hover chair.
Larrylegend: Courtesy of the administration.They can’t have me off of work for too long.
Daisy: How are you feeling?
Larrylegend: Not too bad.How about you?
Daisy: Same old.
Larrylegend: Of course.So what have you been up to?
Daisy: Filing papers,stopping potential apocalypses ,the usual.
Larrylegend: You going to Wareagle’s funeral on Thursday?
Daisy: Yeah.Everyone’s going to be there.
Larrylegend: Cool.
Daisy: I guess….
Larrylegend: So,how’s Slag been?
Daisy: I haven’t heard from him in awhile.He’s always busy at work.
Larrylegend: Right,right.
Daisy: I think he mentioned something about going on a roadtrip with Wareagle’s body “for old times sake”.
Larrylegend: That Slag…
Daisy: Well I’d love to stay and chat but…you know.
Larrylegend: Right, apocalypse.I wont keep you any longer.
Daisy: We’ll catch up later,you know,if the world doesn’t end.
Larrylegend: I’d like that.

Bored: Fire,fire everywhere and not a soul to burn.What a tragedy it is to be Irish.Bored is distressed.
Matt: I give up.
Daisy: Lets just go.
Bored: Fine!Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you.

Daisy quickly scampers away,and the others follow.LL drifts into fantasy watching her.She appears suddenly in a bathing suit,and turns back to give him a wink,only to reveal its not Daisy at all but Jessica Alba

Larrylegend: Soon you’ll be mine,Jessica.Wait--I mean Daisy.Yeah,Daisy.Focus,Larry.Focus.

 

[Abaddon]

Bored: I believe I’m with child.
Larrylegend: You didn’t swallow any Judy dolls,did you?
Bored: My feet taste like acid,and there’s a panther in my pants.
Larrylegend: This is why I try to cut down on my student-teacher interaction. *hovers away*


Hype Museum
Dorian,Mongo and Jaguarr enter the museum carrying their briefcases.A guard quickly moves from his booth and stands in front of them

Not Jake: I’m going to have to check those bags.
Dorian Gray: Of course.*Snaps fingers* Boys…

They all walk over to the booth and drop their briefcases in front of the guard.Not Jake lifts one up and tries to find the opening,unaware of the fact that the three men were now putting on gas masks.Feeling frustrated he beings gnawing on the briefcase.

Dorian Gray: Here,let me help.

Dorian presses a button that makes the briefcase open automatically.The embarassed guard is suddenly hit with the smell of putrid animal carcasses covered in wet feces, and moldy cheese.He retches instantly and falls to the floor.Jaguarr and Mongo grab their suit cases and place them in strategic places around the museum exhibits,and promptly open them realising the nauseating stench,which sends the visitors running

Melfina: What the ****?
Dr. Goblipus: Eeech.
Riggs: It smells like my grandmothers house.
Terry: Let’s flee!

And so they did flee,as the three men moved in towards the area where the coin was in.Unbeknownst to them,Fray was casually entering the room behind the exhibit.It looked like a small office,and on a shelf there was a stack of cleaning products,presumably to clean the priceless artifacts.She walked over to the door that led into the exhibit,and fiddled around with the keys till she found the one which would open the locked door.She felt the temtpation to just break down the damn door,and steal the object in plain sight of everyone.It would be a helluva lot more fun,but she decided this job required finesse,and so she stuck the key in the door and opened it a crack.She then pulled some smoke bombs from her coat pocket,and hurled it at the security camera.Instantly they exploded in a cloud of black smoke,which began to fill the room.Fray smiled wickedly and calmly walked toward the pedestal which the coin rested atop of.She quietly removed the glass casing,and took a moment to stare at the object.It didn’t look like much.In fact it couldve easily been mistaken for a Chuck E. Cheese coin,if not for the archaic inscriptions.As she stared in near total lack of awe,Illchill made his way through the air vent to the same exhibit.He carefully removed the fan and hastily strapped on his harness,which was attached to a small mechanical device that he drilled into the vent.It was from a prize he won at Burger King.”Big kids meal,my ass” he thought to himself “dis shizznit is off da hizhook”.He then put on his large sunglasses,to complete the ensemble,and dropped down Mission: Impossible-style just above Fray’s head.Below Fray peeked to see if Logan was still getting beaten.A great sense of pleasure ran through her body as she thought it about it.He could barely be seen,because the smoke had filled the room so quickly,and so she snapped back into reality and grabbed the coin.

Fray: ASM collection,come to mama.

Just then Illchill suddenly realized who the person below him was.With a smirk he quickly snatched the coin from her hands

Fray: What the--?
Illchill: Too slow,bizatch!
Fray: Give it back,turd.
Illchill: No ways,yo.You just got served.

He pushed the button on his harness and began to ascend,but Fray wasn’t ready to quit.She swung the glass case at him,causing it to shatter over his head.She then grabbed a shard and cut him down from the harness.

Illchill: Ows,yo.That aint cool.
Fray: Neither are you.
Illchill: You straight trippin’,boo.I’m illest of chillest.You just a jacked up chickenhead on ‘roids.
Fray: You are*.God,if youre gonna insult me,at least use proper grammar.

Fray grabbed the coin back and headbutted him.Illchill collapsed and removed his now broken shades.Pissed as hell he tripped her,and a struggle ensued.

Meanwhile,on the outside Logan knocked out the last security guard,and stood on top of the pile of them with an arrogant smirk.They fought hard,but they were no match for his big word-usage and tedious ramblings.Most of them had fallen asleep,or had run off to go look up some of the words he’d used in the dictionary.Logan laughed to himself,knowing he’d made some of them up. He turned then to see how Fray was doing when he was hit with that awful stench.

Logan: God,I didn’t know this museum had feces among its collection.

Dorian,Mongo,and Jaguarr then marched in on the scene,spotting Fray and Illchill in the exhibit

Jaguarr: it’s the Flamer.
-jag
Mongo: She’s going after the other coin.
Dorian Gray: Well,don’t just stand there,stop her!
Logan: You may want to reconsider that.
Dorian Gray: What are you doing here?That gas shouldve knocked you out by now.
Logan: I’ve smelled worse bulls**t in the X3 forums.
Dorian Gray: Then I guess I'll have to take you down.
Logan: Bring it on,pencil neck.

 

[Venom Drool]

the lack of me is disturbing

 

[Abaddon]

Daisy’s Chevy on Mirko rd.

Gunny: Are you sure Kipobe’s not going to get pissed at you for leaving?
Daisy: I don’t think he even realizes a library exists in this school.
Matt: What about during staff meetings?
Daisy: He usually just stares at my breasts.
Gunny: That’s a bad thing?
Daisy: Its hard for a woman to be taken seriously in the workplace when she’s highly skilled,got full credentials,a prolific background, and ass that wont quit.Which is why I keep weapons in my car.
Matt: I guess,but why would you need chains,an executioners mask,and a saddle?
Daisy: What?
Matt: I saw them in the trunk.
Daisy: That’s for um…private Viewer stuff.
Matt: Like what?
Daisy: None of your business.

Daisy makes a left turn and parks in front of a large abandoned warehouse

Gunny: Looks like we’re here.

Minutes later they quietly meander about the warehouse,Daisy holding a machete,Gunny with a crossbow,and Matt with a spatula.

Matt: Hey Gunny,wanna trade?
Gunny: Nope.
Matt: Come on,its not fair.
Daisy: I told you to put the spatula down and pick up a weapon before I closed the trunk.Now youre stuck with it,so hush.
Matt:
Gunny: I don’t see anyone here.Maybe they left already.
Daisy: Wait,I here something…

Daisy follows the sound of muffled groaning coming from behind them,and the others follow.They walk into a room and find Silver Sable in a chair bound and gagged.

Gunny: Whose that?
Matt: I don’t know,maybe she came with the place.
Silver Sable: Uhnghy hney!

Daisy rushes over and ungags her.

Silver Sable: Thank you,now untie me so we can get the heck out of here!!
Daisy: Are they coming back?
Silver Sable: No there’s a bomb rigged to explode any second now!!!!
Gunny: oh s**t!

Matt and Gunny flee while Daisy quickly cuts the ropes with her machete.Sable and Daisy then run like hell and manage to catch up with the less heroic two.They all storm out the door and jump into the air in slow-mo,only to realize just as they hit the ground that the bomb hadnt gone off

Daisy: Well,that was anticlimactic.
Gunny: What the hell?
Matt: I thought you said there was a bomb.
Silver Sable: There was…or is.It should go off at any second now.
Gunny: That’s what you said a few seconds ago.
Silver Sable: I guess we had more time than I thought.I mightve miscalculated.
Gunny: Or maybe there was never a bomb to begin with
Silver Sable: There was…they mightve rigged it wrong though.They left in kind of a hurry.
Daisy: Better safe then sorry,I guess.Though I really looking forward to an explosion.
Gunny: Now,we’ve made a dramatic escape for nothing.Thanks a lot.
Matt: I think I dropped my spatula.
Silver Sable: Look,this is just as awkward for me as it for you guys.Who are you people,again?
Gunny: Aren’t there laws against yelling bomb in an abandoned warehouse?
Daisy: That’s fire,in a crowded movie theatre.
Gunny: Whatever.My point is there wasn’t a clear and present danger.
Silver Sable: There WAS a clear and present danger.We were all about to get blown to bits!
Gunny: So when you say “about to“,you mean in like 2 to 3 days,right?
Matt: I’m gonna go get my spatula back.

Matt stands and walks back towards the warehouse.

Silver Sable: I don’t have to take this from you.
Gunny: Yes,you do.We saved your life.
Daisy: Actually,I saved her life.
Gunny: Tomato,tomahto.
Silver Sable: I don’t even know who you people are.
Gunny: The feelings mutual.
Silver Sable: Youre not very nice,you know.
Gunny: How can I be nice to someone who ruined what couldve been a perfect dramatic moment.

As Matt approaches the door,the warehouse suddenly explodes in a fiery inferno,the force sending him flying backwards and onto Daisy’s car.

Silver Sable: Hows that for drama?!
Gunny: That’ll do.