G5: The Wooden Anniversary Edition

[The_Raganork]

I would like to spend some time with him and not have to beg for it all the time.

When I was working I always made time for him, always. Now its like I'm not even worth the time of day to just hang out with.

I just don't know anymore...Every one is always coming to me with their problems, including E but no one is ever there when I need them to be.

I just feel...rejected again.

 

[Marx]

I think we can all relate Rag. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this.

 

[The_Raganork]

Yeah.


Thanks though. I just don't feel like doing any of it anymore. I'm so in love with J its beginning to be a problem. Every single doubt and fight I've had with E seems impossible with J.

He's like a section of my very soul and yet still it's not going to happen.

I'll survive, I know...

I just feel I shouldn't have to.

 

[Marx]

It's definitely not a good situation. Ultimately, you're going to have to figure out if you want to continue on with "E", or see what the possibilities are with "J".

Have you tried talking with "E" about all of this? Have you talked to "J" about any potential relationship?

 

[The_Raganork]

E and I argue about this all the time. He cries and says he's trying and how everything is so hard for him, how he's overworked..blah blah. All synonyms for "I don't have time for you"

J is straight. I'm too afraid to bring it up, not cause I think he'll go nuts or anything just because at this point my frame of mind is so fragile I don't think I can handle a direct rejection.

But we have so much fun together whenever we hang out and we have some vague dreams about life which include one another, its quite nice...yet All I really want is for him to hug me-Sorry. I didn't mean to go on like that. I like him and it's not going to work..haha.

 

[Marx]

E and I argue about this all the time. He cries and says he's trying and how everything is so hard for him, how he's overworked..blah blah. All synonyms for "I don't have time for you"

If he's getting upset to the point that he cries, he obviously cares a lot about you.

J is straight. I'm too afraid to bring it up, not cause I think he'll go nuts or anything just because at this point my frame of mind is so fragile I don't think I can handle a direct rejection.

Oh. Have you mentioned that before? I remember a "falling for a straight crush" conversation in here earlier.

But we have so much fun together whenever we hang out and we have some vague dreams about life which include one another, its quite nice...yet All I really want is for him to hug me-Sorry. I didn't mean to go on like that. I like him and it's not going to work..haha.

...

 

[The_Raganork]

He cries but one can cry all they want...he's not making the effort I need to feel wanted. Also compounded to that is my meeting J and finding out there is someone out there that is totally what I want. It makes me feel like this is all some twisted, unfortunate Joke of fate.

And yeah, same guy...Straight issue again and again. He treats me pretty good though, I know he knows how I feel (maybe not the degree) but he doesn't back off or anything. He treats me the same...God...I feel so happy and alive when I went him then he's gone and it's like I don't even feel like the world has a place for me

 

[Marx]

...but at the same time, if this guy is completely straight, you're just torturing yourself.

 

[The_Raganork]

Yes but he's my best friend. Its just too awesome hanging out with him

 

[imaperson2]

I'm in the same boat, Raganork8! He's so different from the other guys that I know. The other guys are all about keeping it "manly" and what not. This one, though, doesn't give a damn about making a fool of himself or being emotional. We have a good time talking and hanging out...and I want more out of it. Though I know he's straight, for some stupid reason I still have that hope inside me. It tears me apart but I can't just drop him as a friend because my heart needs more.

He just posted a shirtless picture of himself with his nice smile

 

[The_Raganork]

oh if J posted that kind of picture..

Well #1 it would be out of character

#2 I'd die.

 

[Captain_BluTac]

Oh god. So hungover. Its nearly 4 in the afternoon and I've not gotten out of bed yet..

 

[The_Raganork]

I met a new Boyfriend today:

Spoiler

 

[Marx]

...so spideyboy met my best friend this past saturday. It was a little surreal to see them finally sitting across the table from one another. Aside from a couple moments of awkwardness and some sarcasm (on my best friend's part), it seemed to go well for the most part.

 

[Pink Ranger]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way. I always get slightly weirded out whenever two friends/partners who I've known for years but never met each other actually meet each other for the first time.

 

[Marx]

I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one that feels that way either.

On another note, I just received an email from my best friend's mother. I haven't returned her call from the other day because I really have nothing to say to her. She said that she knows I am "still upset with her, but she doesn't take back anything that she has said". She went on to invite both spideyboy and I to their annual thanksgiving dinner too. This email was far more "nice" in tone than the last one (obviously) or the voicemail where she put the blame for the "ridiculousness between us" on both of us. The fact that she still does not apologize for anything she said really bothers me. I also have no idea if I'll accept their dinner invitation for thanksgiving or not. It's something we've done for years but things aren't the way they normally are. I feel like I need to respond to the email but I'm really going to have to watch what I say and how I say it. I don't want anything I say to her to negatively affect my relationship with her daughter.

I sincerely do apologize for continually bringing this drama up in this thread but I respect all of you and value your opinions. I hate drama.

 

[Marx]

At the same time, I really just don't want to acknowledge her at all.

 

[The_Raganork]

You should accept the invitation. As they say "Actions speak louder than words"

it's a lot harder to act like you like someone than to say something nice to them. Pride is something that's hard to get around for some people but, if she's inviting you she seems to be softening up to the situation.

Be cautious though and keep a decent distance (emotionally and mentally) from here if you do go.

 

[Marx]

...but I have no desire to be around her. She didn't apologize for any of the vicious and cruel things she said to me. This is about more than my pride Rag. She ripped into me for everything she could possibly think of just to hurt me.

 

[The_Raganork]

I wasn't talking about your pride but rather hers.

I wouldn't tell you to do something you don't want to do but if this is going to be the first of many steps to put this behind you then perhaps a little more uncomfortable silence at Thanksgiving will be worth what's coming down the line.

Why do you think she asked you to Thanksgiving dinner?

 

[Marx]

I honestly don't know why she'd invite me and spideyboy to the dinner...especially since she flat out said that she doesn't take back any of the horrible things she has said to me in the same email.

 

[The_Raganork]

again: actions speak louder than words. If i disliked some person I wouldn't invite them to Thanksgiving dinner.

Perhaps she's trying to extend a small olive branch.

Unless you think it's some sort of trap?

 

[Marx]

I don't feel right about it, that's for sure.

 

[The_Raganork]

I can understand that.

But do you think this is a trick?

 

[Speedball]

I say: F*** the b****. I've had enough friends over the years that just abandoned me or treated me like s***. I've gotten to the point where if someone treats me the way that person is treating Marx, I break off all contact with them and get them out of my life. I'll probably be doing that with my roommate when I move out.