How many people here are over 30 years old?

[PLAS]

dear Max:

are you huffing paint?

 

[sinewave]

do what i do, buy her a 24-ounce Heiniken to drink while she watches you play videogames all day. i'm a wonderful husband.

 

[blind_fury]

Look in the paper for upcoming events and look for stuff you think she'll enjoy. Museum tours, concerts, sporting events. Something exciting and stimulating.

 

[Daisy]

Erzengel,Jaguarr, Duende, and i think Daisy can go to grandmother's house.

Why do you 'think' me?

 

[Darren Daring]

It's funny to see TMOB all lost.

 

[twylight]

A girl? A girl in real life and not like during Everquest?

Woah there sonny jim, that's a little out of my level of expertise.

But Everquest girls are hot.

 

[maxwell's demon]

Why do you 'think' me?

because that's how the game works!

 

[Holly Goodhead]

I'll take your wife on a date Max.

 

[Themanofbat]

He said I looked like a model.....t:

 

[tzarinna]

I think you've gotten all the help you need.

 

[Erzengel]

Erzengel,Jaguarr, Duende, and i think Daisy can go to grandmother's house.

I do have a Lil Red Riding Hood Costume that's never been used. I'm sure we can ask Daisy to wear it.

 

[Holly Goodhead]

haha i forgot about that.

 

[Themanofbat]

My god... even long term people need to go on dates....

Take her to a diner/movie then f***k her in the back of your car in the Wal-Mart parking lot after hours.

Follow the aforementioned advice and repeat & rinse if necessary.

 

[Erzengel]

But Everquest girls are hot.

A/S/L?

UR A GRL?

LTS CYBER!!

 

[Themanofbat]

haha i forgot about that.

It was quite the moment... t: t: t:

 

[Themanofbat]

It's funny to see TMOB all lost.

You just like looking at me.

 

[Daisy]

I do have a Lil Red Riding Hood Costume that's never been used. I'm sure we can ask Daisy to wear it.

I have my own Red Riding Hood costume, thank you.

 

[Erzengel]

Oh I see.

I guess this isn't Daisy's first trip to Grandmother's house.

 

[Daisy]

A/S/L?

UR A GRL?

LTS CYBER!!

The first time someone typed 'asl?' at me, I thought: "How do you use American Sign Language via instant messaging?

 

[Daisy]

Oh I see.

I guess this isn't Daisy's first trip to Grandmother's house.

You should see my goodie basket.

 

[C. Lee]

I've gained a few pounds since then...but...MAN I'M HOT!!!!t:

 

[raybia]

Because i have a problem and i need really adult advice...there's this girl see, and i'm married to her but how do i know if we should go out on dates and where should i take her?
Also what should i talk about when i am on the dates?

please help i'm really uncertain here.

Call her at work on a Friday afternoon and ask her if she wants to go on a date. Tell her what time you are going to pick her up and to be ready.

When you arrive, have a single Rose to give her, go knock on the door, give her the Rose and then walk her to the passenger side and open the door for her.

Don't ask her where she wants to go, just pre-plan everything. Make reservations to her favorite restaurant and take her there.

Then take her to either a very good movie or something a little different like a play, musical or an concert.

Afterwards, take a walk along the lake (If you have one) and then finish by going somewhere for a late dessert and coffee.

The rest is up to you, but instead of going back home, take her to one of your nicest hotels in the area (where you made reservations earlier) and get a suite (not a room).

She'll love all of this but be prepare to shell out a few bucks.

 

[maxwell's demon]

not you too, raybia!

 

[Erzengel]

You should see my goodie basket.

It's lovely.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

• Take a cooking class together and then dip your finger in the food and make her lick it off.
  Go ahead and do this in front of the other students 'cause she'll get a thrill from knowing you don't care if they see her doing that in public. It's a way of saying "I accept you. I'm not grossed out by you." without words.
  
  
  
• Pour some potpourri all over the bed before she gets home from work (not the kind with a lot of bark and cinammon sticks in it though).
  Next, take her in your arms and say, "When I look into your eyes, I see the unborn embryo of our future child." Then hand her some brochures on Post Partum Depression and S.I.D.S. so she can get educated. Then have sex 7 or 8 times and make her hold her knees to her chest for 5 minutes after each round.
  Women love having babies.
  
  
  
  
  Date Night Ideas:
  
• Gay Musicals like "Hairspray" and "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" or "Phantom of the Opera"
  
  
  
• When the weather gets a bit colder, rent a carriage and dress up like Cinderella and Prince Charming. Bring some mice and a fat old lady in a cloak for atmosphere.
  
  
  
• Take her to any local arcades that have Dance Dance Revolution. Make sure that you've practiced a lot so you can really blow her mind with your moves as she watches you do your stuff!
  
  
  
• You know that even though you love her above all else, you still get turned on by the sight of attractive ladies. Women are no different and ladies LOVE large, muscular, oiled men, so treat her to some Professional Wrestling when they come to town. Also, making the cardboard signs to wave around together is a fun project for two.
  
  
  
  
• Many women are ashamed to admit it, but they have harmless rape fantasies.
  Try telling her that you'll be working late and dress up in a black ski mask, black jacket and black jeans. Climb through one of your windows, stealthily sneak up behind her, place an UNLOADED gun at the base of her skull and tell her not to scream.
  Then, tie her up, and do what comes naturally. Her response may surprise you.

These are a few ideas for newlyweds who are struggling to come to terms with the exciting challenges of marriage. I hope they were helpful.