HYPE:Arctic experiment

[Hunter Rider]

This is the story of 8 Hypers(Sabretooth,Doglips,Bella,Sava.Hunter,JAL,C Lee,Kmack) who chose to be part of a government experiment which would see them stay in a remote research facility out in the arctic..........and send back their journals of how they found life under these conditions


Tuesday-08:00

Another cold day begins,Hunter climbs out of bed and gets in the shower

Hunter:"No Hot water again.....Dammit Kmack"

After his cold shower he makes his way to the control room for the morning meet

Hunter:"hey all"

C Lee:"greetings kemosabe"

Kmack:"hi"

Bella:"morning Hunter"

DOGLIPS:"Hel........"

JAL:"what was that about Jessica ?"

Hunter:"...................so where's everyone else ?"

C Lee:"Sabre is out hunting for food and Sava has been in the bathroom ages"

Hunter:"oh why did you let Sabre go "hunting" again ? you know what happens every time he gets around animals"

JAL:"Who you calling an animal?"

Bella:"not you JAL,now i thought we talked about you thinking before speaking"

C Lee:"Sava what the hell are you doing ? you haven't been shaving your ass hair and gluing it to your face to look Mature in front of kmack and Bella again have you ?"

Sava:"Hells no you crazy old fool"

DOGLIPS:"Now Sava Sh........."

Bella:"why does he keep doing that ?"

Hunter:"I don't know he can't seem to finish anything"

Kmack:"huh tell me about it"

Hunter:"............."

Bella:"............"

Suddenly there is a thunderous crash near the entrance of the facility and everyone spins around to look,the toilet door swings open and out comes Sava,partially covered in green paint


Bella:"oh Sava you promised no more Hulk games"

Sava:"I'm sorry i just can;t resist"

JAL:"Sue Storm is better than Betty Ross"

Everyone:"........"


There is another loud crash and suddenly Sabre's voice can be heard

Sabre:"Quick guys come and see this!!"



To Be continued

 

[DBella]

What kind of govt experiment, hr? These group of people are not the subjects of the experiment, are they? Also, am I Sava's babysitter/shrink/guidance counsellor?

Anyway, good start. It has a John Carpenter's The Thing feel to it.

 

[enterthemadness]

This could be interesting. Hopefully you finish this unlike a certain doogy breath somebody.....damn it, I meant doggy.

 

[Showtime]

What will be next for our heroes?

 

[ROBOCOP CPU001]

yes actually i'm quite interested to find out.

 

[green]

uhoh Artic experiments never go well. t:

 

[Hunter Rider]

What kind of govt experiment, hr? These group of people are not the subjects of the experiment, are they? Also, am I Sava's babysitter/shrink/guidance counsellor?

Anyway, good start. It has a John Carpenter's The Thing feel to it.

The experiment is one observing humans under severe conditions so yes they are the subjects
Your not Sava's mom you're the groups reasoner and mother figure

 

[Hunter Rider]

Part 2

Everyone made their way to the facility entrance where Sabre was standing in his fur P diddy knock off coat with 2 other unknown ppl
One was around average height and wore a lucha mask,the other was slightly taller with shaggy red tinged hair and he was doing backflips on the spot and yelling


C Lee:"Who the hell are these 2 and what was that noise ?"

Sabre:"Hahhaha,,,,,,,,that was The Fallenangel(FA) doing a somersault onto the packing crates"

FA:*does backflips*"YEAH BABY!!!"

C Lee:"...........ok so who is the other one ?"

Sabre:"This is Sarge,he has a trading outpost over the ridge"

Sarge:"hey all,that's right if you need it chances are i got it"

Sava's eyes grew wide

Sava:"Do you have the 16 inch Hulk figure with electric roar and removable shorts ? do ya do ya ?"

Sarge:"........I said things you needed"

Sava:"......."

Bella:"Excuse me Mr Sarge but may i ask why you wear a mask

Sarge:" I had a bad accident with some curling tongs during my mullet period"

Kmack:"Hahahhaha.....................sorry"

C Lee:" ok then enough jibber jabber are we gonna take a look at this trading post or not ?"

Hunter:"I think we should they may have some things of use and maybe some different food,im sick of bear and deer meat"

Bella:"ok then I'll go and get the outdoor wear"

As Bella left the others continued to mingle except JAL who had remained in the background watching
As Bella returned with the heavy coats JAL spoke up

JAL:"I am gonna stay here and watch the facility"

Hunter:"why ?"

JAL:"I want to OK!! god do you guys always have to question me man I'm so sick of this i wa.."

C Lee butted in

C Lee:"ok JAL you can stay just keep out of other people's rooms"

Kmack:"Yeah cos if i catch you wearing my leopard print thong watching Into the Blue again ill stomp your face in"

Bella:"Okidoki then lets get going"

FA:"WAIT!!!!! I bet you guyz i can make it all the way from here to our place NAKED!!!"

Everyone:"............."

FA proceeds to take all his clothes off and start backflipping

FA:"Yeah baby I'm EXTREME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOORAH!!!""

and with that he went flipping and sommersaulting off into the distance towards the ridge....the others all looked at each other until all that was left in the distance was an ass careening into view every other rotation

Sarge*Coughs*:"ok then lets get moving"

With that Bella picked up FA's clothes and the group headed off into the icy morning

to be continued........

 

[Mee]

Good stuff so far.

 

[Lobo]

Good stuff Hunter

 

[Hunter Rider]

Part 3

As they made their way through the icy canyon DOGLIPS dropped dead,the group dug a hole and buried him while Bella said a prayer,after a few minutes....

Hunter:"Oh well can't mourn forever,lets go"

suddenly the grave moved and DOGLIPS started to rise.....

DOGLIPS:"I'm not de..."

Kmack:"Jesus he can't even finish dying properly"

Kmack quickly smacked him in the face twice with the shovel,everyone turned in surprise

Kmack:"What ? we spent 20 minutes digging that hole,i'm not having it all be for nothing"

Hunter:"she has a point"

C Lee:"Good point,ok stick him back in the ground Sabre and we'll be off"

Sava:"can I paint him green ?"

C Lee:"NO"

Sava:"damn"

They moved on until a bizarre complex of buildings came into view,they looked like an odd mix of old shacks with high tech trimmings

Sarge:"this is it"

FA had already arrived and changed into some fresh clothes,Bella approached him and handed him the clothes he had left behind

FA:"thanks sweet britches maybe I'll reward you later heh"

Bella:"not likely punk but your welcome"

Sava:"hey whose that ?"

Sava pointed to a man going into the front most building

Sarge:"that's Master Bruce he runs our store"

All of a sudden out of nowhere a polar Bear leapt out and went for the group,everyone screamed.........Sabre more girlishly than the girls........
Everyone made for the front building except FA

FA:"I'm EXTREME Polar b1tch,come get so....."

The bear bit him in half

FA:"...........................YOUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sarge,Hunter and C Lee came running out the building with guns

BANG!!! a loud shot went off behind them and all 3 spun round,Sava was bleeding from his ass,the gun had went off as he'd tried to shove it down the back of his pants like he'd seen on TV cop shows

FA:"to hell with Sava the Bear is eating my damn legs!!!!!!!"

Sarge spun round like a John Woo movie and blasted the bear straight between the eyes with deadly accuracy.........it dropped dead
Hunter and C Lee grabbed FA's upper body and began dragging him to the building

Hunter:"Sabre grab his legs and hurry up"

C Lee:"And Sabre JUST the legs"

Sabre sulked for a moment and then did as he was told......


Several hours passed as Bella and C Lee patched up the wounded,
Sava was an easy job he'd lost a cheek and part of his bowel but other than that he was fine once Bella got the blood stopped
FA wasn't so lucky his legs were mush and couldn't be reattached but C Lee managed to sow up his torso so no more parts fell out and FA adapted quickly to walking on his hands

C Lee:"what a day,woweee haven't seen that much action since Nam"

everyone sat around exhausted,no one had even bothered to look at what Sarge's shop had to offer
FA came scuttling into the room on his hands

Bella:"hey FA how are you doing?"

FA shot her a wild eyed a glance

FA:"Legs ar for *****es!!!! I'm EXTREME!!!"


Everyone:"......................"

...........

WASHINGTON DC The White House

In the oval office sits the president of the uhypeted States........Doc Ock!!!

Doc glowers at his aide and personal problem solver Herr Logan

Doc:"what do you mean they have MET some other inhabitants ?"

Herr:"It's that moronic little filthball Sabretooth,he went "hunting......."

Doc:"ugh again ?...........sorry continue"

Herr:"and he went outside of the designated area,guess he'd scared all the animals in the near vicinity........anyway he bumped into Sarge and FA,they are two local traders and now they are all holed up at their trading outpost"

there was a knock at the door

Secretary Sable:"Mr president Miss Holly Valance is here"

Herr smiled

Herr:"damn you sly dog you tapping that ?"

Doc:" hehehe well you know what they say,Doc ock man with the rock like c...."

Holly Valance:"hey boys"

Both men looked round and in she walked,Herr got a crazed look in his eyes and pulled out his side arm and shot her face off

Doc:"JESUS CHRIST!!!!.......Herr....why did you do that ?"

Herr:"that plebeian minx knows you have a toe fetish and yet she wore sneakers instead of strappy's"

Doc:"i could have took her shoes off later"

Herr:"yeah well,gotta keep a strong front"

Doc:".........ok " he pushed the intercom button"Sable get the clean up crew"

Herr:"so what are we gonna do about the experiment ?"

Doc thought for a moment

Doc:"get me green"

To be continued.......

 

[green]

LMAO...that's some good stuff Hunter.

 

[Mister J]

1. Bear and deer meat rule.
2. DOG LIPS isn't dead. He's hibernating to complete his transformation to POLAR BEAR LIPS.
3. Master Bruce is a price gouger.
4. PETA is going to be after Sarge's ass.
5. FA is like Lobo; he's totally going to regenerate a whole new self from each dismembered part. There will be an army of FA's before this is all over. Stupid polar bear.
6. JAL WILL KILL EVERYONE!
7. Who knew Herr Logan was such a good shot?


Excellent stuff, Mr. Rider. That is all.

 

[The Joker]

LOL!

Oh I am REALLY loving my character in this. I am the president of the UHYPETED states, and Herr is my lackey

Too bad Miss Holly died. I'd like to know what she was like since I was "tapping that"

 

[DBella]

Yipee! *claps hands in delight*
Great update, hunter! It gets better and better and I must admit that I am quite surprised. This is another side of you that I've just discovered after almost 2 years. What a wonderful surprise.

Looking forward to the next chapter and I must say that I quite agree with Mister J's ... uhh... analysis. Polar Bears rock!

 

[Lobo]

write faster Hunter I want to read more and FA's lines are great

 

[The FallenAngel]

I AM EXTREME B1TCHES!!!


Hahaha, this is great hunter. Keep it up.

 

[Sabretooth]

Awesome work.

 

[Kmack]

OMG this has to be the best fan fic this month! Awesome hunter, simply amazing

 

[C. Lee]

(1) I hate snow and ice
(2) I hate ice and snow
(3) I'm the only one here who has really gone hunting...I shoulda shot the bear.
(4) I also swing a mean samurai sword (I've had it about 30 years)
(5) Favorite line from "Road House" - "Polar bear fell on me."
(6) In case you missed it....I hate snow and ice

 

[Cinemaman]

Great fic hunter! Nice work, can't wait for 5th part!!!

 

[Sarge 2.0]

That portrayal of FA is so accurate it's almost chilling.

 

[Hunter Rider]

Thanks guys glad you are liking it,part 4 should be up soon and C Lee man upt:

 

[Hunter Rider]

Part 4

Herr Logan made his way out of the White House and got into his black top of the range S class and proceeded to drive across town to an apartment block
It was a scuzzy looking place and as Herr entered the building a young hoodlum decided to chance his luck on a score for the night,bad move....Herr caught his attempted punch and ripped his arm off,he then proceeded to beat the scallywag to death with his own limb...."punks" thought Logan

He reached apartment 13 C and knocked on the door,a man wearing a pink feather fedora,chaps and a leather thong answered

Herr:"Hey Drakon"

Drak:"Hey there muscles,you here to see the boss man ?"

Herr:"yeah,he about ?"

Drak:"Sure hun come in"

Herr made his way into the apartment,sitting on a couch with a woman of dubious morals on either side was legendary assassin green

green:"YO! big H man how's it hangin' Dawg ?"

Herr:"errrrrr im fine......thanks.......how are you?"

green:"psht you know me pimp,im the lean mean mr green and all the hoochies wanna be on my cream team"

Herr:"......Yes....quite.......i have a job for you"

green:" woah slow your roll ya know i don't rise till noon when i'm batting double poon,for realz"

Herr:"the job is for "THE MAN"

green sat up

green:"fo sheezy ?"

Herr:"..........."

green:" are you being truthful ???"

Herr:"yes now get ready"

With that green changed into an Armani suit and both men left the apartment block"


Back in the arctic the next morning........

FA:"Rise and shine homies it's time to get EXTREME!!!!"

everyone had slept in the shop that night as there wasn't enough beds to go around and things could have gotten touchy if the subject of bed partners had been broached

Bella stirred

Bella:"morning everyone"

A collective "morning" rang out and everyone arose

As they all took turns using the bathroom Sabre caught FA laughing

Sabre:"whats so funny bro ?"

FA:"i just thought,now that i have lost my legs i can get washed in half the time........how wicked cool is that ?"

Sabre:"damn!!! sweet dude!!!"

the two high fived

After Sarge and Bella had made breakfast it was time to take a look around the shop
Sava found a teddy bear and some green paint so he was set for the day,Hunter,Bella,Kmack and C Lee picked up some fresh fruit and drink supplies and Sabre traded his diddy coat for a Rhinestone robe Sarge had acquired in North Carolina a few years ago

Just then there was a knock at the door and Sarge went to answer it.......standing there was a tall thin man with a long leopard skin coat and Dark Angel cap on

C Lee:"that's JAL Sarge let him in"

Sarge:" welcome JAL,good to see you avoided the storm"

JAL:"Sue Storm owns,i love Storms,you got an issue with that huh ?"

Sarge:" errrrrrrr..................no.come in"

Sarge rolled his eyes and JAL entered

Kmack:"how did you find us ?"

JAL:"i tracked you using my powers"

C Lee:" you mean you followed the footprints ?"

JAL:"whateva!!"

just then a man in a batman outfit entered the room.it was Master Bruce,FA picked up a TV and threw it at him

FA:"catch!!"

MB failed to heed the yell and the TV hit him square in the grill,unfortunately FA hadn't noticed it was still plugged in and thus MB was electrocuted fatally

MB:"Bella come close.........i haven't got long"

Bella knelt down

MB:"I feel my death is no accident,that bastard HR is writing me out in this cheap ass fashion as he no longer thinks my swish gimmick is gonna be so interesting"

Bella:"................."

With that MB died and Sarge and C Lee threw his body in the furnace

Sava:"he was a good man"

C Lee:"how do you know he never spoke to you ?"

Sava:"he had green eyes,that's enough for me to know his heart was true"

Silence overcame the room.Sarge was the first to speak after a moment

Sarge:"Ok well we have to make the weekly jaunt to Lobo's used snowmobile hire shop and then make our trip to the helipad where we get a food supply drop.you guys wanna come ?"

Everyone agreed they did and headed off towards Lobo's snowmobile hire shop

To Be continued.........

 

[DBella]

My favorite character so far has got to be FA, he cracks me up!
I can't believe Batsy died... so soon.