I still have a curfew........

[CashforStash]

Hello all.

Long story short, I am 17. My birthday is less then two months, so for those two months I am technically "under-age" nor not an "legal adult".

I have great grades, got accepted into the hardest course at my college (30 got selected out of 1000) and in my entire life have barely fought/got in trouble with my parents.

My parents know that now this is my final summer before college (I also work full time during the week) and they know I go to parties here and there, and have a beer or two (I honestly do aha), and overall there's trust.

But recently, I have found a problem in my life that needs to be solved. My buddies and I always hang out with people all across the city, and I don't drive and neither do my friends except for one and he is always taking us to parties/hangouts/whatever. I just cannot for the life of me make it home on time at 1 AM which is my curfew.

I know it's their roof, and they set the rules, and I honestly respect that, it's just it's soo hard to get my buddies back before 1, and i always show up at 2 (3 once).

Last night i went to a party, and my driver got drunk, there for i coulden't get a drive home because i had no money for a taxi. so I simply had to walk and it was a 3 hour walk so i arrived home at 3.

I told my parents this and now they grounded me......

It's like I'm not going to ditch my friends of 14 years, but I also cant talk my parents into dropping my curfew.

What do I do hype?

 

[The Squirrel]

Learn to accept their curfew, or move out.

 

[runawayboulder]

Are you going away to college?

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I wanted this to be a braincrusher thread sooooo bad.

 

[SuperFerret]

Rise up against your harsh overlords. Show them that the chains of slaves can also be used to punish the unjust. Take back what is yours and be your own man!

 

[CashforStash]

Are you going away to college?

Nope, College is a 10 minute drive from my house.

 

[Godsfireworks]

Alright my friend, here's my two cents.

you have an interesting dilemma on your hands since you can't drive, yet you have a curfew. so here's my first penny:
Try to make it home by curfew 100% of the time, and if you really care, you will succeed 99.999% of the time. If your parents see that your actively coming home on curfew 99.999% of the time, their trust in you will build.

2nd penny:
For that .0001% that you can't make curfew. Give them a call and explain the situation. If it's a legit you've-exhausted-all-attempts-to-get-home-in-time situation then they'll probably understand and give you some wiggle room. If that's not the case. well your toast.

But, the big thing is that you've got to build your parents trust by trying to make it. The more their trust grows, the less and less strict that curfew will become. Be patient! and good luck!

 

[Marvolo]

Option 1: Abide by it unless absoljutely not possible.

Option 2: Abide by it when it suits you. Leads to problems.

Option 3: Move out. That's easier said than done, tho.

As for when you start college. Once you are in college, if you are planning on coming home at night be there by a reasonable hour like before 2 AM. If you can't make it home by that time then just stay at a friends house or pass out at the party. For almost no reason should your parents be able to make you come home once you are in college and 18. If you wanna stay out all night that is your choice. If you wanna come home that's cool too but don't role in at 5 AM. That's how my parents did it once I graduated high school. It didn't cause fights and gave me the freedom to choose where I stayed. Its safer too. If you can't get a safe sober ride from a party you are better off passing out there.

 

[runawayboulder]

Ah well, I figured if you were going away to school, a curfew wouldn't matter soon anyway.

The fact of the matter is that you're 17 and out of high school soon to be in college. It's only a matter of time before a curfew becomes a non issue as time goes on. It may suck but if you're going to live under their roof, you have to play by the rules. You'll find out as you progress through your 20's that you're going to have to play by somebody's rule, whether it be your bosses or somebody else's.

Respect their rules, earn their trust and use that trust going forward to your advantage.

 

[C. Lee]

What do I do hype?

You live under their roof....you follow their rules.

 

[terry78]

I love when people that still live at home want rights. It's so cute.

 

[Belvedere]

It depends what type of parents you have.

Are you parents realistically going to kick you out if you go out despite being grounded or keep showing up late? If the answer to that question is "yes", I'd suggest you come home before one. If the answer to that question is "no", stay out.

 

[runawayboulder]

I've come to realize in my 30's that I have less rights than when I did when I was living at home. All you end up doing is working and paying bills until you die.

I wish I still lived at home and my only responsibility was to be home by 2am. That would be a cakewalk compared to this responsible adult crap.

 

[Kelly]

You live under their roof....you follow their rules.

I love when people that still live at home want rights. It's so cute.

Yep...

 

[Marvolo]

I love when people that still live at home want rights. It's so cute.

If parents make you pay rent then yes you should have rights regardless of whether it is their roof. I don't know whether they do in this case, but if they do then yes he should have some room for negotiation and rights. If they aren't willing to negotiate then it isn't so much about being reasonable as about them being on a power trip which isn't acting like an adult.

 

[Pink Ranger]

A 1 am curfew is pretty generous, actually. Then again, I'm like three times everyone's age here I think.

I guess my curfew was earlier when I was 17 because electric street lights hadn't been invented yet.

 

[Johnny Drama]

CashforStash holy heck I haven't seen you in ages

 

[KevanG]

Ignore the hippies.

They made you, they can end you. End of story.

 

[Thundercrack85]

If I came home at 1 at 17, I'd have some explaining to do.

Parents are so lax these days.

 

[Hotwire]

Just think of how much fun you'll have trying to explain to your professors how you just couldn't get to class on time.

As others have said, 1AM is a VERY generous curfew for your age. You also have to realize that they are also attempting to teach you some responsibility here. It is YOUR responsibility, no one else's, to get your ass home by 1:00.

 

[Kelly]

I didn't have a curfew but I also grew up in an age where we didn't have cell phones to lie on about where we were....of course today, with some phones that's impossible to do now.

So, if I was going to be late, I called....or my boyfriend called, and my mom trusted him as well as me.... A healthy fear of ones parent is a good thing....Myself, and my boyfriend had a good healthy fear of my mom....and I never lost her trust.

Once you lose that trust, you are pretty much screwed until you are married with 3 kids.... : )

 

[chamber-music]

When I turned 16 my parents pretty much let me do as I will as long as I behaved responsible. I never had a curfew I just had to let my parents know where I was.

It was same for most people I knew as well.

 

[Matt]

Convince them to sign the deed of the house over to you now so you don't have to pay inheritance tax then throw them out and take what is rightfully yours!

But seriously, you seem convinced that you did the responsible thing, but you didn't. Walking home (a three hour walk no less) in the middle of the night isn't responsible. What you should've done is called your parents and asked them to come get you and your friends. It seems like you and your parents have a trusting and understanding relationship so I'm not really sure why you didn't. But yeah, I don't think you're grounded for violating curfew (and 1 AM is a very reasonable curfew for a 17 year old). You're grounded for doing something stupid (walking home in the middle of the night). Next time, call them, explain that you're DD drank and ask for a ride. Though they may scold you a bit, they'll be proud that you did the responsible thing.

 

[KALEL114]

Yeah, you should have called them to pick you up like Matt said. Are you allowed to sleep over at a friends house? If I was going to miss my curfew, I would just call and say I was sleeping over. If they said no, I would let them know why I was going to be late and discuss scenarios. If they said yes, then there was no issue at all. It's all boils down to communication.

 

[Kelly]

Convince them to sign the deed of the house over to you now so you don't have to pay inheritance tax then throw them out and take what is rightfully yours!

But seriously, you seem convinced that you did the responsible thing, but you didn't. Walking home (a three hour walk no less) in the middle of the night isn't responsible. What you should've done is called your parents and asked them to come get you and your friends. It seems like you and your parents have a trusting and understanding relationship so I'm not really sure why you didn't. But yeah, I don't think you're grounded for violating curfew (and 1 AM is a very reasonable curfew for a 17 year old). You're grounded for doing something stupid (walking home in the middle of the night). Next time, call them, explain that you're DD drank and ask for a ride. Though they may scold you a bit, they'll be proud that you did the responsible thing.

Quite possibly he wasn't supposed to be at a party where there was drinking.....