The Dark Knight Joker Quotes in TDK

[Magenta666]

"see im not a monster....im just ahead of the curve"

 

[Greatwun]

"If your not batman, then why do you dress like him?"
::removes batman mask and dangles it in front of the camera::
"Whoooooooohoohoohoooooooo!!!::

 

[Eddie Brock]

"see im not a monster....im just ahead of the curve"

I loved that line. It's an interesting concept that the Joker could actually be so sane that he sees more clearly than anyone else. Certainly reverses one's usual viewpoint.

 

[SuperBatman]

One of my favorite Lines is when he enters the Hospital and he gives a look of disgust to Harvey and He's like HIIII. I LOL at that part.

 

[MMoralN10Tion]

His entire bit at the end regarding his relationship with the Batman and Batman's refusal to kill him. Twas something that reminded me so well of The Killing Joke, right along with his "a little push" line.

 

[Magenta666]

I loved that line. It's an interesting concept that the Joker could actually be so sane that he sees more clearly than anyone else. Certainly reverses one's usual viewpoint.

thats why i find him such an interesting character, he doesnt have the conventional point of view, so he actually sees clearer than anyone else

and hes right...i mean....all the rest of Bats' rogues gallery is to come (other than scarecrow of course)

 

[ross2287]

and that scene where he crash Wayne's/Dent's party and starts asking people if they knew where Harvey was while slapping this one old guy, haha PURE genius.

He slaps a random girl too, but you don't see it actually happen because the way the camera is.t:

 

[J. J. Jameson]

Someone should just type out all of The Joker's part...

Every line was gold. Pure, untarnished gold.

 

[Magenta666]

Someone should just type out all of The Joker's part...

Every line was gold. Pure, untarnished gold.

ha actually i tried to do that, i have some of his lines if you want me to post them...

Spoiler

"and i thought my jokes were bad"
"How 'bout a magic trick? I can make this pencil disappear........TA DA! It's gone!
"batman has no jurisdiction"
"i know a squealer when i see one"
"yes" (in response to "so you think you can just steal from us?")
"lets not blow this out of proportion"
"wanna know how i got these scars?"
ill try to remember what i can from the first scar story
"my father was a drinker and a fiend, and one night he comes off crazier than usual, my mom grabs a knife from the kitchen to defend herself and my father didnt like that at all, so, in front of me, he takes the knife to her face and asks me 'why so serious?'....well...why so serious?"
"we made it!"
"i had a wife, she was beautiful like you, but she used to gamble, get in deep with the sharks, so one day, they cut up her face, see we had no money for surgery"....and i cant remember the rest
"oh very poor choice of words"
"could you give me a minute here?"
"i love this job"
"dent, dent, dent, harvey dent, oh! excuse me, i wanna drive"
"evening commissioner"
"how would i know? Ive been here the entire time....where did you leave him" (or something like that)"with your men? are you sure they arent the mobs men?"
"got the time?"
"well depending on what time it is, he could be in one place...or several"
"the good cop bad cop routine?"
"never start with the victims head...makes him all woozy...see?"
"kill you? i dont want to you kill you"
"your just a freak like me"
"theyll cast you out....like a leper!"
"see im not a monster...im just ahead of the curve"
"well your going to have to play my little game if you want to save one of them"
"i want my phone call, i want it, i want my phone call"
"how many of your friends did i kill?"
"do you know why i use knives? Guns are too quick (i forget this part) See in the end people show who they really are...so really, i knew your friends better than you ever did"
"would you like to know which ones were cowards?"
"see im a man of simple tastes, i enjoy gunpowder, dynamite, and gasoline"
"do you know what all these things have in common? theyre cheep"
and the pooches bit, which we all know
"i had a dream...(i completely forget this part but its him on the phone on gotham tonight)
"ive changed my mind i dont want to know batman"
"........hi....."(to dent)
"im like a dog chasing cars...i wouldnt know what to do with one once i caught it"
"im an agent of chaos"
"do i really look like the type of guy who has a plan?"
"see, gordon hes a schemer"
"you had plans, look where they gothcha"
"i just wanted to say...when i kidnapped you and your girlfriend.....rachel, it wasnt personal"
"Its all part of the plan"
"well tonight your going to break your one rule"
"the only way to live in a world is without rules"

..and i can quote exactly what he says in the final speech....

"we really should stop this fighting, well miss the fireworks."
"and here, we, go!"
"you cant rely on anyone these days, youve gotta do everything yourself...dont we?"
"thats ok, i came prepared"
"its a funny world we live in, speaking of which, ya know how i got these scars?"
"you just couldnt let me go, could you?"
"this is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object"
"you truly are incorruptible arent you? Huh?"
"you wont kill me out of some misplaced sense of self righteousness, and i wont kill you...because your just too much fun"
"I think you and i are destined to do this forever"
"maybe we would share one"
"you know theyll be doubling up the rate this cities inhabitants are losing there minds"
"until their spirit breaks completely"
"until they get a good look at the real harvey dent, huh? and all the heroic things hes done"
"you think ide risk losing the battle for gothams soul in a fistfight with you, no, you need an ace in the whole"
"mines harvey"
"I took gothams white night, and i brought him down to our level"
"see madness as you know, is like gravity, all you need is a little push"

i know some of them arent exact (hey ive only seen it twice) but its as close as i could come to the correct order

another thing i noticed the second time is Joker ends almost all of his sentences with "huh" or "hum"....like "am i right?"

 

[Dr. Manhatten]

"What doesn't kill you simply makes you...stranger."

 

[Mr. E]

The Joker: "You just couldn't let me go, could you? I guess this is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You are truly incorruptible, aren't you? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of righteousness . . . and I won't kill you because you're too damn fun. We're going to do this forever."

Batman: "You'll be in a padded cell forever."

The Joker: "Maybe we can share it. They'll have to double up, the rate this city's inhabitants are losing their minds."

 

[Vile]

"Do i really look like the type of guy who has a plan?"

That was awesome.

 

[Marx]

I really enjoyed his facial expression when he mouthed the word "six" to the police guy who answered his question of "how many of your friends did I kill" in interrogation.

Priceless.

 

[TheGary]

I really enjoyed his facial expression when he mouthed the word "six" to the police guy who answered his question of "how many of your friends did I kill" in interrogation.

Priceless.

Actually he mouthed "ten" because the guard is the one who answered "six".

 

[Excel]

Ledgers disturbingly intense growl " LOOK AT ME!" while hes video the fake batman.

 

[Marx]

Actually he mouthed "ten" because the guard is the one who answered "six".

I've seen it twice now and it would appear that he said "six." Who cares though! His facial expression was great!

 

[BobJM]

I loved his whole dialogue during the fake Batman video recording from his laughing to the intensely scary "LOOK AT ME!" (i thought i was gonna **** my pants).

 

[Capt Throbberson]

"I don't think the...uh...television really knows who he's dealing with." I don't know why but I thought that line was hilarious.

 

[JJZ-109]

"well hellooooo beautiful... you must be Dent's squeeeeeeze!"

 

[Drizzle]

I loved when Joker pressed the detonator button at the hospital, he made a "BOOM" sound.

 

[SuperAdam]

Do we have the Joker chaos speech?

"Do I really look like a man with a plan,Harvey? I don't have a plan. The mob has plans, the cops have plans. You know what I am, Harvey? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught one.I just DO things. I'm a wrench in the gears. I HATE plans. Yours, theirs, everyone's. Maroni has plans. Gordon has plans. Schemers trying to control their worlds. I am not a schemer. I show schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. So when I say tht what happened to you and your girlfriend wasn't personal, you know I'M telling the truth."
JOKER GIVES DENT GUN.
"It's a schemer who put you where you are. You were a schemer. You had plans. Look where it got you. I just did what I do best-I took your plan and turned it on itself. Look what I have done to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple bullets. Nobody panics when the expected people get killed. Nobody panics when things go according to plan, even if the plans are horrifying. If I tell the press that tomorrow a gangbanger will get shot,or a truckload of soldiers will get blown up, nobody panics.But when I say one little old mayor will die, everyone loses their minds!!! Introduce alittle anarchy, you upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I AM AN AGENT OF CHAOS. And you know the thing about chaos, Harvey. It's fair."

 

[chitownballer]

The "Yeah" after the question, " you think you can steal all our money and get away with it?

 

[Drizzle]

"Do I really look like a man with a plan,Harvey? I don't have a plan. The mob has plans, the cops have plans. You know what I am, Harvey? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught one.I just DO things. I'm a wrench in the gears. I HATE plans. Yours, theirs, everyone's. Maroni has plans. Gordon has plans. Schemers trying to control their worlds. I am not a schemer. I show schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. So when I say tht what happened to you and your girlfriend wasn't personal, you know I'M telling the truth."
JOKER GIVES DENT GUN.
"It's a schemer who put you where you are. You were a schemer. You had plans. Look where it got you. I just did what I do best-I took your plan and turned it on itself. Look what I have done to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple bullets. Nobody panics when the expected people get killed. Nobody panics when things go according to plan, even if the plans are horrifying. If I tell the press that tomorrow a gangbanger will get shot,or a truckload of soldiers will get blown up, nobody panics.But when I say one little old mayor will die, everyone loses their minds!!! Introduce alittle anarchy, you upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I AM AN AGENT OF CHAOS. And you know the thing about chaos, Harvey. It's fair."

The first time I saw it, I thought Joker was saying "And you know the thing about chaos, Harvey. It's beer."

 

[The Battousai]

"I don't think the...uh...television really knows who he's dealing with." I don't know why but I thought that line was hilarious.

So did I

 

[Boom]

"It's simple. Kill The Batman."
"If it's so simple, why haven't you done it yet?"
"When you're good at something, you never do it for free." (<---Paraphrasing.)

"You really think you can just steal from us?"
"Yes."