I'm finally convinced that there is no God. Okay, first off, these guys, apparently, put out a casting call for their next s***fest on Craigslist. I suppose, they threw in a free bean bag chair and a loofa to the star of the picture. Second, the title seems to really be "Vampires Suck" which gives you a clue of just how unimaginative they really are. Okay, here's the plan, when this flick opens, whoever sees a twelve year old dork paying money to see this, grab the kid, toss him into an alley, pummel the living s*** outta the little turdblossom. Sometimes, a little tough love works wonders.
-so sayeth the mastermind-