Marvel Comics introduces super-hero condoms
15 Jan 2003 by Dr Vagner
Marvel Comics announced it is venturing into a new business area today. In conjunction with Trojan condoms, the corporation is set to launch new "action figure" condoms. "Never before has the scale been so big, the sculpting so detailed, the accessories so real," dribbled Pete Menscher, director of Marvel Condoms. "The highly anticipated Marvel Studios line is not only an added dimension to adult intimacy, but the ultimate collectible for any fan of the Marvel Universe."
Official Press Release
The Wolverine condom, the most popular member of the X-men, comes alive in an 8 in. figure with 29 points of articulation. His super-poseable neck, arm, and leg joints allow him to be posed in a near-infinite number of positions. Push his retractable rubber claws in and they slash back out. Hold Wolverine by the waist with your thumb on the back button and he's ready for battle with his twisting and flailing arm and torso action.
Try the Bruce Banner condom and but prepared when you push him around! The stress will transform little Bruce into a massive, throbbing Incredible Hulk. Due to the gamma radiation exposure, not only is there an escalation in strength, mass, and efficiency, the Hulk can take a severe beating and rejuvenate within minutes. The Hulk with his superhumanly-strong leg strength is known to leap great distances, so be prepared to cover many miles in a single bound!
The most popular member of the Fantastic 4 is Mr. Fantastic. You can convert the mass of his entire body into a highly malleable state. You can stretch, deform, expand, or compress his entire body or parts into any shape you can imagine. You and your partner will have hours of fun pulling, tugging, and yanking the Mr. Fantastic condom.
Your partner will be tingling with spidery senses when you use the Spiderman condom. He's got strength, reflexes, and the equilibrium of a spider, and with his wall-crawling action he possesses the ability to cause parts of his body to stick to most surfaces.
Other Marvel action figure condoms include the Ironman with missile launchers, Thor with his overhead spinning hammer, and Cyclops with optical eye blast. All Marvel condoms come in a Spiderman package with the slogan, "With great power comes great responsibility." Not available at Toys-R-Us.
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