Matt Ruins Your Favorite Christmas Carols!

[Matt]

In the spirit of the season, I've decided to ruin your favorite Christmas carols for you and hopefully make your holiday a little less special!

Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer - The other reindeer didn't really hate Rudolph because of his red nose. They hated him because he is Jewish.

Frosty the Snowman - Frosty's escape to the Northpole to avoid melting is short lived as Global Warming gets the best of him.

Santa Clause is Coming to Town - Pedophillia, need I say more?

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause - The kid didn't see his mother kissing Santa Clause. He saw his parents having freaky, Christmas Eve role playing sex.

Any other classics you'd like me to ruin for you?

 

[Calvin]

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause - The kid didn't see his mother kissing Santa Clause. He saw his parents having freaky, Christmas Eve role playing sex.

Isn't that song more tragic in its original meaning? That Santa's a home wrecker and mom's a cheating ****e?

 

[Immortalfire]

Try Silver Bells, White Christmas, Do you Hear What I Hear, Silent Night...

 

[04nbod]

...oh holy night

 

[JStorm]

Jingle bells; Batman smells; Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost a wheel, and the Joker got away.

Batman's in the kitchen; Robin's in the hall; Joker's in the bathroom, peeing on the wall.

 

[Matt]

Try Silver Bells,

It may be Christmas time in the city, but that only means countless people are spending Christmas living in boxes.

White Christmas

Its 50 degrees right now in Northern Pennsylvania...so much for that.

Do you Hear What I Hear, Silent Night...

These songs contradict each other making them useless.

I've ruined Christmas for another person.

 

[Immortalfire]

White Christmas sucks as song down here. You know it says, "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas"

Well, here dreaming is all we can do

 

[JStorm]

White Christmas sucks as song down here. You know it says, "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas"

Well, here dreaming is all we can do

"I'm dreaming of a humid Christmas."

 

[04nbod]

White Christmas sucks as song down here. You know it says, "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas"

Well, here dreaming is all we can do

buy snow off ebay. people are gonna drop it by helicopter on buckingham palace to fool the bookies. it was 10/1 odds now its 8/1. kind of funny.t:

 

[Immortalfire]

"I'm dreaming of a humid Christmas."

Just like the ones I've always known. Where our foreheads glisten, and children listen..to the sound, of AC's on the blow...

 

[Matt]

...oh holy night

As more and more historical records surface on the birth of the Christ child it seems more and more unlikely that he was either born in a manger or on December 25th. Therefore the Holy Night spoken of is grossly wrong.

 

[Matt]

Isn't that song more tragic in its original meaning? That Santa's a home wrecker and mom's a cheating ****e?

No, because everyone knows there is no Santa Clause.

 

[Immortalfire]

No, because everyone knows there is no Santa Clause.

Yes there is, I watched it last night.

 

[Calvin]

No, because everyone knows there is no Santa Clause.

.....

 

[Matt]

Yes there is, I watched it last night.

So we're moving into ruining Christmas movies eh?

Tim Allen takes botox and Wilson died sometime last year.

BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH like a regular Grinch I am! (and just to ruin the Grinch for you, Dr.Seus made a sequel that did not enjoy such wide publication or popularity as its predecessor. It is titled "How the Grinch Hung Himself"

 

[JStorm]

Just like the ones I've always known. Where our foreheads glisten, and children listen..to the sound, of AC's on the blow...

Just a few weeks ago, the tempature dropped to 17 degrees (around 3 A.M., at least).

I can't wait to get out of the South. Our 2.5 season curse is just one of many reasons why I want to move to somewhere that has 4 seasons.

Translation: 2.5 season = 1.00 Summer and 1.00 Fall. Winter and Spring only account for .25 percent each.

 

[Darthphere]

No, because everyone knows there is no Santa Clause.

Wh-what?

 

[Speedball]

This thread made my day.

 

[jaguarr]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrtOasAKe6A

jag

 

[hippie_hunter]

Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer - The other reindeer didn't really hate Rudolph because of his red nose. They hated him because he is Jewish.

But Santa doesn't allow Jews to celebrate Christmas.

Anyways, the other reindeer hated Rudolph simply because he was a f**king freak. Notice how they all hated him until he saved Christmas out of nowhere. Even though they all love him all of a sudden, they still think that he's a freak deep down. Even his father thought that he was a freak!

 

[bored]

If you're open-minded enough to expand beyond Christmas songs, try "Rock of Ages" or "I Have a Little Dreidel".

 

[JLBats]

Christmas Time Is Here.

Do it.

 

[Mee]

White Christmas sucks as song down here. You know it says, "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas"

Well, here dreaming is all we can do

Georgia doesn't get snow, we just get the devil and his crazy violin.

 

[Abaddon]

The Little Drummer Boy

 

[Speedball]

Fur Elise
I kinda see what's coming with this one...