Men....have you ever been attacked by a cougar?

[Silvermoth]

A friend of mine was attacked by a gang of cougars. They thought they were being subtle but they so weren't.They were like...
"So...live at home by yourself or with your ggggiiiiiirrrrrrrrlllllll....?"

We couldn't stop laughing about it afterwards. It was like they thought they were in Sex and the City. My friend just clammed up because they were so violently sexual to be honest.

No, before you ask, there wasn't any physical relations.

 

[Bruce Banner]

Cougars are too aggressive

Thats whats fun about it. Or at least it was for me.

 

[Wylie Times]

Thats whats fun about it. Or at least it was for me.

Not for me because I already have a gf and I don't appreciate being grabbed in certain places by strange women.

 

[Hound55]

It ain't really appropriate to be grabbing on people of either gender...

 

[knowsbleed]

It ain't really appropriate to be grabbing on people of either gender...

Ok, now you're just sounding bitter... let's hear with the story.

 

[Bruce Banner]

Not for me because I already have a gf and I don't appreciate being grabbed in certain places by strange women.

Thats understandable you got a GF. Me on the other hand live a rather mundane single life so it made things interesting.

 

[Hound55]

Not really a major story, because fortunately nothing ultimately came of it.

But the fact that I had times where I thought "**** it, just drink til you stop caring and if something happens it happens" because of piss poor self esteem is bad enough.

Fortunately the times when I was drunk/depressed enough to think that way the person in question wasn't an issue, but the fact it came to that does make me feel pretty disgusted in myself to start with.

Then shortly after that I actually had real plausible opportunities (God only knows how) which meant I no longer had to think that way about scraping the bottom of the barrel.

But yeah, the thought of the over-aggression and getting felt up by this particular person doesn't leave me with overly fond memories any more, so my self-esteem must be up again.

 

[knowsbleed]

Aww... she was just a rebound cougar. Poor cougar.

 

[Steel Thunder]

[YT]F01aLeErvoU&feature=fvw[/YT]

 

[knowsbleed]

Now, if all cougar's looked like this, I might have to go on a safari:

Spoiler

 

[Drakon]

Jennifer Tilly is like, fifty, but good god....

 

[Metamorpho1977]

Yes, this thread title is a play on the older woman trolling for young meat. Me and an associate of mine left work today to catch the train, and this woman who had to be about 50, though she looked pretty decent, basically came up to my friend and asked if he was seeing anybody..blatant. He said no, and she gave him her number and told him to call her this week. My first thought was, this must be some kind of tranny or somebody that's going to rob his ass at some point, but she was a professional looking chick for the most part, had a desparate housewife thing going. I was like, "you gonna hit that?" and he laughed and was like, "i don't know, man...that's crazy." If it happened to you, or if it has, would you, or did you...as they say, "hit that?"

I have and I will again.

 

[ChickenScratch]

A friend of mine was attacked by a gang of cougars. They thought they were being subtle but they so weren't.They were like...
"So...live at home by yourself or with your ggggiiiiiirrrrrrrrlllllll....?"
We couldn't stop laughing about it afterwards. It was like they thought they were in Sex and the City. My friend just clammed up because they were so violently sexual to be honest.
No, before you ask, there wasn't any physical relations.

I've never seen Sex and The City, but I despise it because of the way chicks who watch it act. But yeah, I live in NY and believe me, since that show came on every older woman is walking around like she's hot stuff.

Last year in a bar targeted towards young college students my buds and I met with some girls from the other bar we hang out at (so everyone at our bar doesn't know we were seeing them). But the whole night, in this college bar were these 3 older women who you could see were trying way too hard, dressed way too nice, had the hair way too done for the type of place it was. You shoulda seen them dancing and trying to drag guys out there with them ... and the guys recoiling in horror when they turned to see the chick grabbing them was as old as their mom.

 

[kane9321]

When I was 23 I was involved with cougar I believe she just hit 50,

Spoiler

man she could suck a golfball through a garden hose

"...nice looking "becky". Sadly our year relationship had to end because she got a big job offer in pittsburgh, she wanted me to move with her but I didnt

 

[terry78]

When I was 23 I was involved with cougar I believe she just hit 50,

Spoiler

man she could suck a golfball through a garden hose

"...nice looking "becky". Sadly our year relationship had to end because she got a big job offer in pittsburgh, she wanted me to move with her but I didnt

That's a good talent for siphoning gas as well if that ever was needed.

 

[Spider-X]

Never...but then again, i don't really hike in the mountains much and I don't live in a heavily wooded area.

 

[SuperFerret]

I've already made that joke Spider-X, it was ignored.

 

[Immortalfire]

This thread is the perfection of hilarity

 

[enterthemadness]

That's not true either

Well, clearly I get a F for Failure when it comes to ladies.

but maybe I get a B for Boss one day.

 

[terry78]

 

[Venom 1988]

Courtney Cox is hot

 

[enterthemadness]

Courtney Cox is hot

Yes, she is. Gets better with age. She a milf or a cougar?

 

[CrashNburn]

she defintely looks 40. She looks like she's wearing a michael jackson halloween mask. 40 is the new senile aged person who thinks they're 20.

i havent been attacked by a cougar but when i was like 20 and living in Cali, i got hit on by some hot chick who looked to be in her late 30's. do i get some kind of credit?

 

[enterthemadness]

she defintely looks 40. She looks like she's wearing a michael jackson halloween mask. 40 is the new senile aged person who thinks they're 20.

i havent been attacked by a cougar but when i was like 20 and living in Cali, i got hit on by some hot chick who looked to be in her late 30's. do i get some kind of credit?

Only counts if you hit or tapped that.

 

[Episode29]

Working in customer service when I was younger (18-early 20's), I had a few mom-types make weird comments to me and, in one case, start my massaging my shoulders while I was trying to write on a cake, but for the most part they were pretty brief shrug-it-off-cause-she's-ugly affairs.

There was one amusing anecdote from when I was in Australia, at the age of 23, on a 3-day boat tour/cruise. While the collection of passengers was mostly people my own age, there was this one older (late 30's/early 40's) British woman who my friend and I took to calling the Toothless Wonder (She had teeth, but they were baaaad!). While she wasn't a complete vomit-inducing horror show, she was reeeeeeally leathery looking and kinda trashy.

Anyhow, the scene works like this: we're docking for the night and the captain asks me to help guide him into the area where he'll be anchoring. He tells me to grab someone else to help and, seeing everyone else quickly bolt from the premises onto dry land, I'm forced to grab the Toothless Wonder as my aid. So, the following dialogue (or something very close to it) occurs as we're leaning on the railing slowly backing into the port or whatever:

Her: Nice night, huh?
Me: (Distantly) Yeah. It's been a fun trip so far...
*Awkward silence*
Her: Maybe its a British thing, but the sea really makes me horny.
Me: (After my heart jumps into my throat): Uh, what?
Her: Oh you know, the sailing, the long days in the sun. It just makes me soooo horny.
Me: Huh. Well. I..., yeah, I guess it must be a British thing...
Her: (Laughs to herself)

We dock shortly thereafter and are in the dingy heading to shore.

Her: That's a funny face you're making.
Me: What face?
Her: I can make you do all sorts of weird faces if you want!
Me: ...............*Mournfully looks out to sea*

After docking, we have about a 5-minute walk back to the hotel through the wilderness. While about half of it is spent engaging in idle generic chatter, it eventually get's weird.

Me: Hey, look, you can see a wallaby!
Her: Where? I don't see it!
Me: Over there, in the bushes.
Her: Oh yeah. *Giggles*. It's pretty quiet out here.
Me: Yeah, I guess.
Her: Promise not to rape me in the bushes? *Giggles*
Me: Wha?
Her: Cuz you can if you want to...
Me: *Awkward laugh*. Well, see you later! I'm going to meet up with my friend over there! *Takes off*

And... scene! After that, still hot and bothered, she joined up with some Irish dudes and ended up banging the crap out of some bald guy in the hotel so violently that she almost got herself kicked out. She then spent the rest of the trip trying to seduce the ship's captain. While I imagine I would have had some great stories if I had've hooked up with her, I'm perfectly content to leave that particular opportunity behind.