Mix up movie captions

[The Navigator]

"You're garbage that kills for money."

"Don't talk like one of them, you're not! Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're just a freak...like me! They need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out, like a leper! You see, their morals, their code, it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these... these civilized people, they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve."

 

[ultimatefan]

HECTORon´t make me angry, Achilles. You wouldn´t like me when I´m angry.

 

[ultimatefan]

CRUISE: How did I lose my eye? When R. Lon Hubbard says put 50 million dollars in my account ofr Xenu will go Empire Strikes Back on yo ass, you´d BETTER put 50 million dollars in his account!

 

[Jack Bauer]

I'm so ronery. So ronery. So
ronery and sadry arone. Dere's
no one, just me onry, sitting on
my rittle throne.

I wook rearry hard and make up
great plans. But nobody
listens, no one understands...
Seems that no one takes me
SER-RI-ROUS-REEEEEEEEE...
And so... I'm rone-ry... A rittle
rone-ry... Poor rittle me.

Dere's nobody I can rerate to.
Feel rike a bird in a cage. It's
kind of sirry...But not rearry...
Because it's firring my body
with rage!

I 'm the smartest most clever,
most physically fit but nobody
seems to rearize it.

When I change the world maybe
they'll notice meeeeeeeeee---
until then I'll just be
lonely...poor little me...
I'm so rone-ryyyyyy.

"To be or not to be?"

"Not to be"

 

[ultimatefan]

The fist guy who calls me Nick Fury will be gutted like a fish!

 

[Doctor Jones]

Let's talk about sex.

 

[Panthro]

Hehehehe, great stuff guys, love that mixing of Dark Knight with Cuckoo's Nest and the Hulk reference.

HECTOR: "I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn."

 

[Ash J. Williams]

"Where'd old Bubba Ho-Tep go?"

 

[Panthro]

HERCULES [singing]: "There's a bright golden haze on the meadow, There's a bright golden haze on the meadow. The corn is as high as a elephant's eye, And it looks like it's climbin' clear up to the sky. Oh, what a beautiful mornin', Oh, what a beautiful day! I got a beautiful feelin' Everything's goin' my way."

 

[The Navigator]

VADER (to Han): Look, you're marrying princess Lucky, so you'd better get used to the idea. Guards! Make sure the prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him.
FETT: "Not to leave the room even if you come and get him."

VADER: No, no--"until" I come and get him.
FETT: "Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room."
VADER: No, no, no--you stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave.
FETT: And you'll come and get him.
VADER: Right.
FETT: We don't need to do anything apart from just stop him entering the room.

VADER: No, no--leaving the room.
FETT: Leaving the room, yes.
VADER: All right?

FETT: Right. Oh, if, if, uh...if, if, if, we...if, if....uhh...
VADER: Look, it's quite simple. You just stay here and make sure he doesn't leave the room. All right?

FETT: Oh, I remember! Uh, can he leave the room with us?
VADER: No, no, no, no--you just keep him in here and make sure--
FETT: Oh, yes! We'll keep him in here, obviously. But if he had to leave, and we were with him-
VADER: Look, just keep him in here.
FETT: Until you or anyone else--
VADER: No, not anyone else, just me.
FETT: Just you--
VADER: Get back.
FETT: Get back.
VADER: All right?
FETT: Right, we'll stay here until you get back.
VADER:...and, uh, make sure he doesn't leave the room.
FETT: What?
VADER: Make sure he doesn't leave!
FETT: The prince?
VADER: Yes, make sure he doesn't leave--
FETT: Oh, yes, of course! I thought you meant him!

FETT: It seemed a bit daft, me having to guard him, when he's a guard.

 

[wiegeabo]

Classic.

 

[Doctor Jones]

VADER (to Han): Look, you're marrying princess Lucky, so you'd better get used to the idea. Guards! Make sure the prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him.
FETT: "Not to leave the room even if you come and get him."

VADER: No, no--"until" I come and get him.
FETT: "Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room."
VADER: No, no, no--you stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave.
FETT: And you'll come and get him.
VADER: Right.
FETT: We don't need to do anything apart from just stop him entering the room.

VADER: No, no--leaving the room.
FETT: Leaving the room, yes.
VADER: All right?

FETT: Right. Oh, if, if, uh...if, if, if, we...if, if....uhh...
VADER: Look, it's quite simple. You just stay here and make sure he doesn't leave the room. All right?

FETT: Oh, I remember! Uh, can he leave the room with us?
VADER: No, no, no, no--you just keep him in here and make sure--
FETT: Oh, yes! We'll keep him in here, obviously. But if he had to leave, and we were with him-
VADER: Look, just keep him in here.
FETT: Until you or anyone else--
VADER: No, not anyone else, just me.
FETT: Just you--
VADER: Get back.
FETT: Get back.
VADER: All right?
FETT: Right, we'll stay here until you get back.
VADER:...and, uh, make sure he doesn't leave the room.
FETT: What?
VADER: Make sure he doesn't leave!
FETT: The prince?
VADER: Yes, make sure he doesn't leave--
FETT: Oh, yes, of course! I thought you meant him!

FETT: It seemed a bit daft, me having to guard him, when he's a guard.

Perfect!

I think that's from Monty Python and the Holy Grail?

 

[Jack Bauer]

MIKAELA: Dude, dude, what the hell is going on here? Where are we?

SAM: I have no idea, I've never been outside the states.

MIKAELA: Wait what? Are you ****ing kidding me? Did you make this whole goddamn thing up? Dude you weren't even in the ****ing service?

SAM: Yes! Of course! Coast Guard!

MIKAELA: Coast Guard?

SAM: Sanitation Department.

MIKAELA: Oh my god! You're a ****ing garbage man! Dammit! Sam Witwicky lies to me and the whole U.S. of A.!

SAM: I wrote the book as a tribute! I'm a patriot!

MIKAELA: Yeah, you're the Milli Vanilli of patriots, okay? You lied about fighting in the Vietnam War. It's like - it's like punching the American Flag in the face goddammit! God, to think I believed you!

 

[Panthro]

MADMARTIGAN: "Poor Edward. I had to save them. For you see I am both Bruce Wayne and Batman. Not because I have to be, now... because I choose to be."

 

[Panthro]

HOWL: "You weigh a little more than 108."
SOPHIE: "Oh really?"

 

[Panthro]

BATMAN: "Let me tell you about this guy I know, Jack... he was a mean kid, bad seed. Hurt people."
JOKER: "I like him already." [sinister laughter]
BATMAN: "Yeah well you know the thing is he got sloppy, you know? Crazy. Started losing it. He had a head full of bad wiring I guess. He was the kind of guy... couldn't hear the train until it was two feet in front of him." [Joker is visibly uncomfortable by this point] "You know what happened to this guy, Jack? He made mistakes. And then he ended up with his-"

BATMAN: "-lights out! Now you wanna get nuts?! C'mon! Let's get nuts..."

BATMAN: "Excuse me, you ever dance with a devil by the pale moon light? I'm gonna kill you."
JOKER: "You idiot! You made me, remember? You dropped me into that vat of chemicals! That wasn't easy to get over, and don't think that I didn't try!"
BATMAN: "I know you did."

 

[The Navigator]

POPE ALEC GUINNESS: That's what all these cripples down at the VA talk about: Jesus this and Jesus that. Have I found Jesus yet? They even had a priest come and talk to me. He said God is listening and if I found Jesus, I'd get to walk beside him in the kingdom of Heaven. Did you hear what I said? WALK beside him in the kingdom of Heaven! Well, kiss my crippled ass. God is listening? What a crock of s**t.

 

[Panthro]

^Monty Python's Life of Brian? Been a while since I watched it...

BATMAN: "Listen! And understand! That Terminator is out there. It can't be bargained with, it can't be reasoned with, it doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear, and it absolutely will not stop, ever! Until you are dead!"
JOKER: "..."
BATMAN: "..."
JOKER: "Can you stop it?"
BATMAN: "I don't know. With these weapons, I don't know."

 

[Ash J. Williams]

Joker: No. No! NO! Stop it! Stop it, please! I beg you! This is sin! This is sin! This is sin! It's a sin, it's a sin, it's a sin!
Batman: Sin? What's all this about sin?
Joker: That! Using Ludwig van like that! He did no harm to anyone. Beethoven just wrote music!
Batman: Are you referring to the background score?
Joker: Yes.
Batman: You've heard Beethoven before?
Joker: Yes!
Batman: So, you're keen on music?
Joker: YES!
Batman: Can't be helped. Here's the punishment element perhaps.

 

[Panthro]

BATMAN: "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."
JOKER: "Good luck."

 

[Thundarr]

Dirty Harry: I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Did he fire six shots, or only five?" Well to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I sorta lost track myself. But seeing how this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and can blow your head clean off, you gotta ask yourself one question. Do I make you horny baby? Do I?

 

[kedrell]

Stephen: "Ahem!"
William Wallace: "Huh?"

Stephen: "Mr. Wallace, you have a massive erection."

William Wallace: "Really?[looks down] Uh, yes...I do. Um, I'm sorry, it's the-- it's the wool. It's uh, it's actually an optical illusion. It's the pattern on the kilt. It's very flattering in the crotchal region. I'm actually taking it back right now. Taking it back to...the kilt store. Oh, this is awkward. I'd better go."

Stephen: "Yeah."

William Wallace[to all the rest of the soldiers]: "Nothing to look at: go back to work, everyone. Don't act like you're not impressed!"

 

[Panthro]

THE COMEDIAN: "Yippie kay-ai, mother-f***er."

THE COMEDIAN: "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

THE COMEDIAN: "The Joker's just a mad dog. I want whoever let him off the leash."

THE COMEDIAN: "I like to dissect girls. Did you know I'm utterly insane?"

THE COMEDIAN: "Riddle me this, Riddle me that. Who's afraid of the Big Black Bat?"

SALLY JUPITER: "So tell me Eddie - is that a rabbit in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
THE COMEDIAN: "Cut the comedy Dolores, I've had a very hard day."

THE COMEDIAN: "You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life."
SALLY JUPITER: "I happen to like nice men."
THE COMEDIAN: "I'm a nice man."
SALLY JUPITER: "No you're not you're-" [he kisses her]

 

[Panthro]

SALLY JUPITER: "I wish I knew how to quit you."

THE COMEDIAN: "You think I want to escape from this? There is no escape from this!"

 

[Panthro]

SUPERMAN: "You're garbage that kills for money."
LEX LUTHOR: "Don't talk like one of them, you're not! Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're just a freak...like me! They need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out, like a leper! You see, their morals, their code, it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these... these civilized people, they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve."