Moments Where You Wish The Ground At Your Feet Would Just Swallow You Whole

[The Cajun]

Come on we've all had them. Moments of such embarrassment or awkwardness that you just wish the floor beneath you would just swallow you whole.

New girlfriend, round her house for the first time and the parents are out. Shes going down on me when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Her father walks into the room and she pulls away right at the climax. Leaving me to grab the nearest thing to cover my intimate region...which happened to be one of her little sisters teddies.

I wanted to die.

 

[Prodigy]

I walked out of the shower one day in my apartment, and thought I was completely alone, since you can always hear when people come in. I walk out with the towel only covering The People's Strudel crossing the hallway to my bedroom, still drying off a little, and look out of the hallway to see my two female roommates and about 5 female friends all in the kitchen... I was like "wtf you can't talk or something so I know you're there, what are you doing!" ... I would have been ok with just disappearing into thin air ... though technically considering my lack of clothes I was pretty close

 

[Alexia Dark]

I was hanging out near the music room during 5th period wasting time, trying to determine if I could hear any of the Beauty and the Beast previews in the auditorium (My school's musical theatre production), and I saw some people standing by the side doors, which are close to the stage.

Me: Hi. Are you looking for the entrance to the auditorium?

One of the people turns around, and I realize after a moment that she's blind. She said something like, 'No, we'll be fine', and I don't remember anything else after that except being really embarrassed.

I still occationally think of it and resist the urge to slap myself.

 

[Axid]

I noticed some kids laughing their asses off at every single goddamn ad that popped up in the theater before the previews start...you know, the "keep you entertained before the show with stupid trivia" bull****. I said to my friend, "those ******s are laughing at EVERYTHING". His eyes grew huge and, with a blank stare and emotionless voice, tells me "Look at what aisle they're sitting in".

I wanted to just explode into little pieces and float away

 

[Sabretooth]

I noticed some kids laughing their asses off at every single goddamn ad that popped up in the theater before the previews start...you know, the "keep you entertained before the show with stupid trivia" bull****. I said to my friend, "those ******s are laughing at EVERYTHING". His eyes grew huge and, with a blank stare and emotionless voice, tells me "Look at what aisle they're sitting in".

I wanted to just explode into little pieces and float away

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

 

[E-Mack]

Come on we've all had them. Moments of such embarrassment or awkwardness that you just wish the floor beneath you would just swallow you whole.



New girlfriend, round her house for the first time and the parents are out. Shes going down on me when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Her father walks into the room and she pulls away right at the climax. Leaving me to grab the nearest thing to cover my intimate region...which happened to be one of her little sisters teddies.



I wanted to die.

That's your own damn fault for not keeping the door secure. Curious though, what happened right after that? It has to be funny, I just know it.

"Sir! It's....it's not what you think!"

*holds stained teddy bear with one hand, and his one-eyed willy in the other*

 

[Darren Daring]

I was hanging out near the music room during 5th period wasting time, trying to determine if I could hear any of the Beauty and the Beast previews in the auditorium (My school's musical theatre production), and I saw some people standing by the side doors, which are close to the stage.

Me: Hi. Are you looking for the entrance to the auditorium?

One of the people turns around, and I realize after a moment that she's blind. She said something like, 'No, we'll be fine', and I don't remember anything else after that except being really embarrassed.

I still occationally think of it and resist the urge to slap myself.

That story makes you look both stupid and overly sensitive.

 

[Carter]

About 2 weeks ago I was watching porn with this chick on a huge tv, and then the father walks in.

I think we turned it off in time, but it'd be hard to miss the huge vag on the sreen.

 

[E-Mack]

About 2 weeks ago I was watching porn with this chick on a huge tv, and then the father walks in.

I think we turned it off in time, but it'd be hard to miss the huge vag on the sreen.

Oh look, another idiot.

 

[Alexia Dark]

That story makes you look both stupid and overly sensitive.

Stupid how?

 

[Darthphere]

Come on we've all had them. Moments of such embarrassment or awkwardness that you just wish the floor beneath you would just swallow you whole.

New girlfriend, round her house for the first time and the parents are out. Shes going down on me when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Her father walks into the room and she pulls away right at the climax. Leaving me to grab the nearest thing to cover my intimate region...which happened to be one of her little sisters teddies.

I wanted to die.

Sadly for you, I can't beat that.

 

[Darren Daring]

Stupid how?

Did you read the story?

 

[Carter]

Oh look, another idiot.

Yeah, lucky me if he did see anything he didn't say anything

 

[Sabretooth]

In 4th grade the teacher heard me say ''ass.'' OMFGWTF??????

 

[Capt Throbberson]

Sadly for you, I can't beat that.

Neither can I

 

[E-Mack]

Yeah, lucky me if he did see anything he didn't say anything

It prolly had a lot to do with the daughter. God bless any father that has to go through that.

I can't imagine what I'd think/do if I ever saw my teenage daughter watching porn with some guy. Ugh.

 

[Alexia Dark]

Did you read the story?

Do I have to clarify that you're not allowed to go through those doors to get to your seat at shows?

 

[Darren Daring]

Do I have to clarify that you're not allowed to go through those doors to get to your seat at shows?

It makes for a clearer story, but it doesn't help your seeming brainlessness.

 

[Axid]

Oh

I asked the flight attendant if I could open my window a little bit once

 

[Alexia Dark]

It makes for a clearer story, but it doesn't help your seeming brainlessness.

Dancing through life
Skimming the surface
Gliding where turf is smooth
Life's more painless
For the brainless
Why think too hard?
When it's so soothing
Dancing through life...

 

[Spider-Man Luvr28]

I've had quite a few. Too bad I don't remember most of them.

 

[Darren Daring]

Dancing through life
Skimming the surface
Gliding where turf is smooth
Life's more painless
For the brainless
Why think too hard?
When it's so soothing
Dancing through life...

Fiyero!!!!!!!!

Yeah, no, be sure to thank Schwartz for arguing for you. But no too much, becuase he didn't do a good job.

 

[Da Docta]

I noticed some kids laughing their asses off at every single goddamn ad that popped up in the theater before the previews start...you know, the "keep you entertained before the show with stupid trivia" bull****. I said to my friend, "those ******s are laughing at EVERYTHING". His eyes grew huge and, with a blank stare and emotionless voice, tells me "Look at what aisle they're sitting in".

I wanted to just explode into little pieces and float away

I don't get it.

 

[Axid]

I don't get it.

they were ******ed

 

[Da Docta]

they were ******ed

I don't get it. So they were and not anymore?