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My life is falling apart!!

Of course people can get better, but this is your problem and your journey. Support is crucial, but it sounds like you've developed a co-dependency with Katie. I think she's scared to leave you, not necessarily for her sake, but for yours. And your well-being can't be dependent on her support, that's not fair to her.

Ever since I read "she understands that I am the man of the house, and that I call the shots" from your fiance thread, I knew something was going to break down. I really feel like you need to figure out who you are and what your issues are as "Nick," not "Nick who is completely in love with Katie."

I don't know if you even recognize how manipulative and controlling you are. I don't know you and can't judge you, but the minimal interaction on this message board doesn't paint you in a good light. Just as an example, you said your kids would never visit their mother's parents, yet you didn't intend to discuss it before getting married. That's just the way it was gonna be and the bearer of your children could just deal with it.

You and Katie very well may be soulmates, but you have a lot to learn about respect before you should even consider subjecting her to your bull****. If you were Katie's brother, I seriously doubt you'd want her anywhere near you until you had your issues under control.
 
Erzengel said:
One time "messing" around I grabbed my gf so that she had 5 finger printed bruises around her arm and she had to explain to her co-workers that I do not in fact beat her. Good times.

You're Asian right? So you're passive by nature, you're off the hook :up:
 
Well mostly Asian but I attribute my complexion to whitey, another thing to hold against him.
 
Lurk said:
Of course people can get better, but this is your problem and your journey. Support is crucial, but it sounds like you've developed a co-dependency with Katie. I think she's scared to leave you, not necessarily for her sake, but for yours. And your well-being can't be dependent on her support, that's not fair to her.

Ever since I read "she understands that I am the man of the house, and that I call the shots" from your fiance thread, I knew something was going to break down. I really feel like you need to figure out who you are and what your issues are as "Nick," not "Nick who is completely in love with Katie."

I don't know if you even recognize how manipulative and controlling you are. I don't know you and can't judge you, but the minimal interaction on this message board doesn't paint you in a good light. Just as an example, you said your kids would never visit their mother's parents, yet you didn't intend to discuss it before getting married. That's just the way it was gonna be and the bearer of your children could just deal with it.

You and Katie very well may be soulmates, but you have a lot to learn about respect before you should even consider subjecting her to your bull****. If you were Katie's brother, I seriously doubt you'd want her anywhere near you until you had your issues under control.
Well said



although I wish I had Mario to jump on your Avatar :(
 
Lurk said:
Of course people can get better, but this is your problem and your journey. Support is crucial, but it sounds like you've developed a co-dependency with Katie. I think she's scared to leave you, not necessarily for her sake, but for yours. And your well-being can't be dependent on her support, that's not fair to her.

Ever since I read "she understands that I am the man of the house, and that I call the shots" from your fiance thread, I knew something was going to break down. I really feel like you need to figure out who you are and what your issues are as "Nick," not "Nick who is completely in love with Katie."

I don't know if you even recognize how manipulative and controlling you are. I don't know you and can't judge you, but the minimal interaction on this message board doesn't paint you in a good light. Just as an example, you said your kids would never visit their mother's parents, yet you didn't intend to discuss it before getting married. That's just the way it was gonna be and the bearer of your children could just deal with it.

You and Katie very well may be soulmates, but you have a lot to learn about respect before you should even consider subjecting her to your bull****. If you were Katie's brother, I seriously doubt you'd want her anywhere near you until you had your issues under control.
GREAT post! :up:
I also think he's too needy and clingy.

Wilhelm-Scream said:
Yeah. I typed that without conviction and with my fingers crossed. It's not easy but I thought I should give him the benefit of the doubt.
 
i went through this years ago..... except I wasn't engaged or living with my GF..... it's no ****ing joke. I never wanna go through that again which is why I'm in my current state of mind.. no attachments, no worries.

It sounds tough JN... and it's gonna take a long time to fix this.... more than you'll know... but at least you're willing to improve yourself. The main thing to do is remind yourself of this experience everytime you feel like you want to wail on her again. Remember how desperate you felt.

Sorry to hear it's gotten this bad though.. hopefully things will work out in the end.
 
Everything works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out, it's not the end



I read that somewhere and thought it was lame.
 
Hahaha, yeah.
It "worked out" that the Nazis tattooed your arm, starved you to death, raped you then gassed you.
The End.
 
Wilhelm-Scream said:
Hahaha, yeah.
It "worked out" that the Nazis allegedly tattooed your arm, starved you to death, raped you then gassed you.
The End.



fixed :)
 
Lacky, you sound like my GF. Shes on mood stabilizers and anti-depressants now since out last fight (she would scream at me and yell at me over *********ing, not leaving comments on her myspace page, and hanging out with my friends).
 
I don't think I could perform under that type of pressure. :o :csad:

"Do it now!!!"

"Faster!!!"

"You call that *********ing!!"
 
JokerNick said:
Okay, I am currently engaged, as many of you know… I love my girl to death, she is everything to me, she is probably the only reason I am alive and well today (whole other story)…… this last Friday was almost the end of me… I was getting mad, because she just finished up with school (took summer classes to finish early), and she stayed out this past Thursday after work, to just hang with some co-workers (play darts), I was mad because she never told me where she was (we live together BTW), well she got home around midnight, which is really late for her, she told me where she was, but I was still mad…. Well Friday came, I never gave her a kiss or hug goodbye, I was still mad at her, later that day I messaged her “so how was “playing’” darts, I’m not an idiot BTW”… well that Friday night came, she was working again (waitressing), I went out with my friends, I got home at about 1am, and she wasn’t home, so I got furious (I was drinking to much that night too) and drove down to her work, where I ordered her outside, and yelled at her like no other, I was in her face… some of her co-workers came out, and I started yelling at them…. Katie pleaded with me to calm down, and that she was just about done, and was going to come home, she asked me to wait with her…..I said I would wait by her car… well I waited about 2 minutes, then grabbed a piece of paper and wrote “I’m done with you, don’t expect to see me ever again”… well needless to say, she never came home that night….. when I realized she wasn’t coming home at around 4am, I freaked out (amazing what you realize when you sober up)… I tried calling her over and over again… I was literally breaking apart… she only messaged me once, saying she was fine, and that she would talk to me tomorrow night when she got home from work…

Well, that Saturday, I was a wreck, I haven’t cried in about 10 years, but I was breaking down like no other that day….. I couldn’t eat anything, I felt like puking… I finally got her to message me again, she said that she still loved me, but she’s need some time right now to figure things out……. Well, after reading that, I knew that she was concerned about me, and if I really did love her… so I went out, and bought her a big thing of flowers, and wrote a short note saying that I was so sorry, and that I love her more then anything…. I then had my friend drop them off at her work that night….. well, she finally did come home that night, and we talked, cried, but I could sense that what I did, caused more then a flesh wound to her, I hurt her deep inside…… just knowing that is killing me right now… I still haven’t ate anything… it’s been 2.5 days since my last meal….

I told her yesterday, that I am going to go back to counseling, and that I want her to come along… that I want to change (my temper on Friday was only the tip of the ice-berg. I have belittled her so much in the past, made fun of her meanly, ripped on her family, I have been tearing at her insides for awhile now),

I told her that she makes me want to be a better person… I told her, from now on, I will treat her like I first did when we dated, like a princess…. This past weekend has been so hard on me, harder then my accident a few months ago, harder then anything….. but I also think this weekend was the best thing for us… I finally realized what I have become.. that I have been nothing but a superb jack-@ss to her… but the thing is, I can still tell she his hurt deep inside… do you think her wounds will heal overtime… is there something I can do to reassure her that I am going to change…..???

Damn...

I don't know anyone in my life as pitiful as you seem to be. Reading your "problem" was really entertaining.

Keep on keeping on. :up:
 
Outsiderzedge said:
Damn...

I don't know anyone in my life as pitiful as you seem to be. Reading your "problem" was really entertaining.

Keep on keeping on. :up:


Outsiderzedge is the Hype's Dr. phil.
 
Darthphere said:
Outsiderzedge is the Hype's Dr. phil.
I thought I took that crown when I told him:
But you definitely have to be motivated to change because you're unhappy with what a jealous, possessive and angry ass**** you are as a PERSON, not just because you're afraid of losing her.
 
I. LOVE. LESBIANS.

BWOYAAAAAH!!!!!!!

I watch the 'L Word' on Showtime!

BWOYAAAAAH!!!!!!!
 

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