Nice guys finish last

[Alex The Great]

Maybe they're a bunch of ugly mother****ers?

 

[AndThePickles]

For those of you complaining how hard it is when girl after girl turns you down for being a nice guy, maybe, just maybe you should look a little deeper. Maybe the girls who are turning you down are just not attracted to you.

 

[terry78]

For those of you complaining how hard it is when girl after girl turns you down for being a nice guy, maybe, just maybe you should look a little deeper. Maybe the girls who are turning you down are just not attracted to you.

No, it's never us, it's them. Focus, Erz.

 

[Danalys]

it's like saying nothings wrong with the world and no one can be deceived. that people aren't in competition with each other, and the corrupt wont lie and cheat.

i do get a lot more attention from women now i'm not as ill. but that in itself is somewhat annoying.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

1. Be yourself
2. If you notice a girl notice you talk to that girl
3. If things go well get phone number
   1. If things don't go well, manually pleasure yourself at home.
4. Call this girl and ask her out
   1. If she says no refer back to 3.1
5. Go out with girl, if date goes well try for a kiss at the door
   1. If that doesn't work refer back to 3.1
6. If there is good chemistry, try to spend more time with this person
   1. Remember that 3.1 is always available.

 

[SpideyVille]

I think some people go straight to step 3.1.

 

[Danalys]

most rules are rubbish.

have charisma
do what you feel is right.
that is all.

 

[ComicChick]

I may be slightly jaded at the moment but I find it kinda ironic (?) That you guys are complaining about girls supposedly not liking nice guys when if the tables were turned it'd be the same thing. No guy wants a nice girl anymore

 

[E-Man]

I may be slightly jaded at the moment but I find it kinda ironic (?) That you guys are complaining about girls supposedly not liking nice guys when if the tables were turned it'd be the same thing. No guy wants a nice girl anymore

It's not possible for me to have a nice girl anymore. I just corrupt everything good with my evil ways.

 

[Anita18]

I may be slightly jaded at the moment but I find it kinda ironic (?) That you guys are complaining about girls supposedly not liking nice guys when if the tables were turned it'd be the same thing. No guy wants a nice girl anymore

They're out there. They're just shy and if you're shy too the only way to find each other is online.

My bf loves having a nice no-drama girl. Although he appreciates that I'm not all goody two-shoes nice sometimes.

 

[terry78]

They're out there. They're just shy and if you're shy too the only way to find each other is online.

My bf loves having a nice no-drama girl. Although he appreciates that I'm not all goody two-shoes nice sometimes.

Was that some subtle dig regarding the "s" word?

 

[SpideyVille]

I may be slightly jaded at the moment but I find it kinda ironic (?) That you guys are complaining about girls supposedly not liking nice guys when if the tables were turned it'd be the same thing. No guy wants a nice girl anymore

I told my friend that that's what I was looking, and she told me to prepare to alone for the rest of my life.

Apparently they don't exist anymore.

 

[Erzengel]

What is most of you all's definition of a nice person?

 

[Danalys]

mostly like the distinction between the light side and dark side of the force erz. not being an aggressor, manipulator, bring people down cos you can't raise yourself up. decency.

but earlier in the thread a lot of people where taking a view this was feined to complete an objective.

both exist but i wouldn't call the second ones nice people unless it was in quotes.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I may be slightly jaded at the moment but I find it kinda ironic (?) That you guys are complaining about girls supposedly not liking nice guys when if the tables were turned it'd be the same thing. No guy wants a nice girl anymore

I don't think the term 'nice' carries much meaning to be honest. When I think nice I think of a girl who I could take home to see my parents and grandparents, but there's also things about myself I wouldn't show off in front of either of these people. So it's a pretty wide spectrum.

 

[LOBO3315a]

"Nice" people tend to get walked over in a relationship. They will gleefully put themselves in positions to be taken advantage of for money, sex, or power, because they feel that's what a relationship is about. They give 110% into a relationship, and recieve no benefits from it. I know this type of person, because my mom fit this to a tee.

"Decent" people don't use others for money, sex, or power, nor do they tolerate that sort of behavior from others. Well-balanced give and take is the order of the day for "decent" people. They strive to get something out of a relationship, but also understand they must put something back in as well.

And "Takers" are the exact opposite of "Nice". They will roll all over anyone to get whatever they want, regardless of the outcome. Others are there for their gratification. No matter how much they get from a relationship, they want more. My X-wife was a perfect example of this one.

These definitions have helped me define who I am, and how I percieve others. YMMV, however.

 

[Erzengel]

mostly like the distinction between the light side and dark side of the force erz. not being an aggressor, manipulator, bring people down cos you can't raise yourself up. decency.

but earlier in the thread a lot of people where taking a view this was feined to complete an objective.

both exist but i wouldn't call the second ones nice people unless it was in quotes.

I was too lazy to read over the last 20 pages.

But, I wanted to make sure that was stressed, doing things for people with an ulterior motive of getting them to like you doesn't necessarily make you a nice person.

 

[Anita18]

Was that some subtle dig regarding the "s" word?

No? Cause it's true? The only way my bf and I could have possibly found each other was online. Not that there's anything wrong with us, we literally would not have found each other because we don't go out.

There's no shame in that, really. I think people are surprised when I tell them I met my bf off of Plenty of Fish because he's pretty cute and he's educated (with employable skills) and is a decent upstanding guy.

I was too lazy to read over the last 20 pages.

But, I wanted to make sure that was stressed, doing things for people with an ulterior motive of getting them to like you doesn't necessarily make you a nice person.

I don't think it makes you a nice person at all. Being nice with the ulterior motive of getting people to like you makes you a marketing person.

Nice people don't go bragging about how nice they are. It's something you are and other people should be the judge of that.

"Nice" people tend to get walked over in a relationship. They will gleefully put themselves in positions to be taken advantage of for money, sex, or power, because they feel that's what a relationship is about. They give 110% into a relationship, and recieve no benefits from it. I know this type of person, because my mom fit this to a tee.

"Decent" people don't use others for money, sex, or power, nor do they tolerate that sort of behavior from others. Well-balanced give and take is the order of the day for "decent" people. They strive to get something out of a relationship, but also understand they must put something back in as well.

And "Takers" are the exact opposite of "Nice". They will roll all over anyone to get whatever they want, regardless of the outcome. Others are there for their gratification. No matter how much they get from a relationship, they want more. My X-wife was a perfect example of this one.

These definitions have helped me define who I am, and how I percieve others. YMMV, however.

With your definition, my ex-bf is the epitome of a "nice" person. I'm still afraid that he's gonna get taken advantage of, but he's married to someone who's just as nice to him so hopefully it all works out...

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I think people put to much effort into defining what a 'nice guy' is. A person who is typically agreeable in person and easy to get along with would probably qualify as nice. I think when nice is used as a pejorative it tends to suggest that the person is not a nuisance but also isn't someone who asserts themselves much, so the only positive thing you really can say about that person is they are nice (pleasant, but ultimately boring and unattractive)

 

[Erzengel]

Also, like I said, being nice =/= being attractive.

 

[LOBO3315a]

There's no shame in that, really. I think people are surprised when I tell them I met my bf off of Plenty of Fish because he's pretty cute and he's educated (with employable skills) and is a decent upstanding guy.

Hey, I'm on POF too! Does that make me ugly, dumb, and a back-stabbing S.O.B? My real issue is that I'm the caretaker for my mom, so getting out on the town and meeting people is kind of low on my list of priorities.

With your definition, my ex-bf is the epitome of a "nice" person. I'm still afraid that he's gonna get taken advantage of, but he's married to someone who's just as nice to him so hopefully it all works out...

If he's truly a "nice" guy, and not just a "decent" guy, it won't. He won't receive the affirmation from the relationship he's looking for, and will find someone who will take advantage of him to get that. It might not happen for a long time, but eventually (unless his wife was like mine, a "nice" person in disguise) he will.

 

[Anita18]

Hey, I'm on POF too! Does that make me ugly, dumb, and a back-stabbing S.O.B? My real issue is that I'm the caretaker for my mom, so getting out on the town and meeting people is kind of low on my list of priorities.

Not necessarily, but I think many people assume that people do online dating because they're ugly losers.

If he's truly a "nice" guy, and not just a "decent" guy, it won't. He won't receive the affirmation from the relationship he's looking for, and will find someone who will take advantage of him to get that. It might not happen for a long time, but eventually (unless his wife was like mine, a "nice" person in disguise) he will.

I'm not sure, I don't know his wife well at all, but by all accounts she's as equally nice and a very sweet person. They've been married longer than they were dating (granted, things developed very quickly) and he's still very happy with her.

What happens if both people in a relationship are "nice" people who love to give? Probably a black hole of cheesy niceness. It probably doesn't happen often, but the combination I think is possible...

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

What happens if both people in a relationship are "nice" people who love to give? Probably a black hole of cheesy niceness. It probably doesn't happen often, but the combination I think is possible...

As I say I think the term "nice" doesn't carry much weight. Almost as though if you're attractive to most women (I mean personality wise, not physically) it'd probably be somewhat understood that you're nice (at least sometimes). I can't think of anyone who has good, quality, long term success who I could call a complete jerk. There's definitely room though for things like sarcasm, humor and "character flaws" in people who are nice. Although when you are attractive I think people tend to focus on other aspects of your personality other than niceness: such as creativity, charm, charisma, confidence or humor.

 

[ComicChick]

I think yall are right about nice being too subjective a word. It holds a different meaning and definitionto everyone.

 

[Erzengel]

Yeah, I don't equate, being nice with being shy, or a doormat or quiet.