Nice guys finish last

[Optimus_Prime_]

1) Never mess with a bridezilla or her friends.
2) Lets say you start to date a friend of your buddies wife/gf. What happens when things go sour? Battle lines get drawn and its not fun for anyone.

Sounds like excuses to me really. Sex is a fact of life, most people, including Bridezillas understand this. What's the worst that could happen? They're not gonna firebomb your house. They might talk some smack, but they'll get over it.

 

[Spider-Who?]

Really? I'm amazed at how well you know me, my intentions, thought process, history, and the character of those of whom I speak.

The fact of the matter is, the only chick I was even interested in was the one with the boy friend; but once I found out she had a bf, I said forget it; I've been "that guy" in the past, and thats not something I plan on doing again, as it made me feel like a total ass.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Really? I'm amazed at how well you know me, my intentions, thought process, history, and the character of those of whom I speak.

I just find it odd when people come on here and post a variation of the same story: "I met this girl who was really into me but I couldn't do it because of X,Y,Z." Then they are surprised when I say "excuses, excuses". I really can only think of two reasons for this. Either the girl really wasn't into them, although this would make that person a liar and I don't really like accusing people of lying. It's bad form. OR They're naturally timid and shy and will invent any reason not to pursue someone.

I'm blowing off my parents tonight to go see this chick, and it might be nothing, but it's worth it just because I may not get the opportunity twice.

The fact of the matter is, the only chick I was even interested in was the one with the boy friend (both girls offered me their numbers); but once I found out she had a bf, I said forget it; I've been "that guy" in the past, and thats not something I plan on doing again, as it made me feel like a total ass.

Who says this scenario will play out the same way? It's not uncommon for girls to find someone they like while in a relationship. It's happened to me once, and two of my married both starting "seeing" each other while they were dating/in a relationship with someone else. Now, just to be clear, in both cases they didn't sleep together until after those relationships were over.

Again it just seems like an excuse, and moreover why not be 'that guy', especially if not being 'that guy' isn't working out for you. I've always liked the phrase "you got to try some wrong dawg". If you get involved in a situation that seems caustic you can always back out. Backing out is a default.

 

[Spider-Who?]

I just find it odd when people come on here and post a variation of the same story: "I met this girl who was really into me but I couldn't do it because of X,Y,Z." Then they are surprised when I say "excuses, excuses". I really can only think of two reasons for this. Either the girl really wasn't into them, although this would make that person a liar and I don't really like accusing people of lying. It's bad form. OR They're naturally timid and shy and will invent any reason not to pursue someone.

Never mind the fact that you're trying to delve into a topic that was not the point of this thread, nor my post; nevermind the fact that you're obviously trying to paint me as something other than what I am (which I don't blame you since you DON'T know anything about me, so of course you're going to be wrong)...

First girl was ugly. Naturally I don't want to touch that. But she asked for my number, a fact which was pertinent to the topic of "to be or not to be a nice guy".

Second girl, as I said, already has a boyfriend.

I'm blowing off my parents tonight to go see this chick, and it might be nothing, but it's worth it just because I may not get the opportunity twice.

....good for you?

Who says this scenario will play out the same way?

....Again it just seems like an excuse, and moreover why not be 'that guy', especially if not being 'that guy' isn't working out for you. I've always liked the phrase "you got to try some wrong dawg". If you get involved in a situation that seems caustic you can always back out. Backing out is a default.

Not that I feel any strong desire to outline my moral character but, i've got nothing else to do for the next few mintues, so... **** it.

I do not condone cheating. I have been cheated on in the past, and its a ****ed up feeling. I also (prior to being cheated on, myself) made the mistake of being the guy a chick cheated on her BF with. He ended up finding out it broke his heart. Got really depressed, etc. Knowing that I helped cause someone to hurt so badly, to have their trust and world broken is something that I never want to be a part of again. Prior to that, I was also the "other guy" - there was nothing physical, just emotional cheating, but she ended up breaking up with him for me, which ended up being a seed for a lot of drama.

This not my first joy ride through relationships. I know what I want and what I don't want. What I don't want is to be a primary part of a woman cheating on her bf or husband again. Never mind that, but why would I want to be with someone who obviously doesn't have an issue with cheating?

These aren't excuses. These are lessons I have learned and am trying to make smart choices based on those lessons. I know exactly what I'm doing, and am not some desperate schmuck who feels the need to chase after any girl that smiles at me.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Second girl, as I said, already has a boyfriend.

How long was it before you found this out?

I do not condone cheating. I have been cheated on in the past, and its a ****ed up feeling.

You're going to have to point to the part of my post where I told you to cheat. In fact, I'm pretty sure I told you the opposite: "If you get involved in a situation that seems caustic you can always back out. Backing out is a default."

I also (prior to being cheated on, myself) made the mistake of being the guy a chick cheated on her BF with. He ended up finding out it broke his heart. Got really depressed, etc. Knowing that I helped cause someone to hurt so badly, to have their trust and world broken is something that I never want to be a part of again. Prior to that, I was also the "other guy" - there was nothing physical, just emotional cheating, but she ended up breaking up with him for me, which ended up being a seed for a lot of drama.

So what You're going to walk around with an albatross around your neck for the rest of your life. She could break it off with the guy right after she starts seeing you, you have literally no idea. Also, if she really wants to be intimate and makes this known, try talking to her about it at the very least. You clearly have strong feelings about cheating and you. can. talk. to. her. about. those.

By the way, I got a slight chuckle at 'emotional cheating'. You're going to have to explain that one. What was this, the Jean Grey/Cyclops/Emma Frost psychic tryst.

This not my first joy ride through relationships. I know what I want and what I don't want. What I don't want is to be a primary part of a woman cheating on her bf or husband again. Never mind that, but why would I want to be with someone who obviously doesn't have an issue with cheating?

Yeah well, while all of this is well and good it doesn't have any bearing on what I said. This wasn't a "I met this girl, I wasn't interested story". I've got plenty of those, here's one: I was out at a bar last night, this girl started talking to me, I wasn't interested, I don't remember anything about her really.

These aren't excuses. These are lessons I have learned and am trying to make smart choices based on those lessons. I know exactly what I'm doing, and am not some desperate schmuck who feels the need to chase after any girl that smiles at me.

Fine, I never said you were. You clearly are someone who is bemoaning opportunities you've past up which is not typical of someone who is self-assured in what they want.

 

[Spider-Who?]

WTF? I am not bemoaning anything. Please, point to where I am whining about the two girls from my original post (or whining about anything other than your clear lack of reading comprehension). If you had actually READ my post that started this back and forth, the "two girls" aspect was only one sentence of an entire post, a sentence which was written only to validate the actual point of my post, which (once again) was that being a nice guy wasn't a bad thing, so long as you let other, more attractive traits show through as well.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

WTF? I am not bemoaning anything. Please, point to where I am whining about the two girls from my original post (or whining about anything other than your clear lack of reading comprehension). If you had actually READ my post that started this back and forth, the "two girls" aspect was only one sentence of an entire post, a sentence which was written only to validate the actual point of my post, which (once again) was that being a nice guy wasn't a bad thing, so long as you let other, more attractive traits show through as well.

I believe the post I responded to was this set of rules you had laid down about proper etiquette around Wedding parties when the bridesmaids are hitting on you, which, I'm sorry, was total bullsh**. You also referred to hitting on members of a wedding party as "dipping the pen in the company ink" (which is a term that refers to potential financial ramifications of inter-office relations - doesn't apply at all here). Both of these things just seem to indicate you're very timid around girls. Call me crazy, but it falls in line with a lot of what you post.

Also that whole 'emotional cheating' thing is a little wonky.

 

[Spider-Who?]

I believe the post I responded to was this set of rules you had laid down about proper etiquette around Wedding parties when the bridesmaids are hitting on you

I wasn't meaning to lay down rules for everyone - just quickly explaining why I wasn't interested in jumping into that bed.

which, I'm sorry, was total bullsh**.

Yeah, well, you don't know the bride. If she was pissed at me, I'd cut off my own toe if it mean calming her down; that's the type of horrible, nasty person she is (my poor buddy is in trouble).

You also referred to hitting on members of a wedding party as "dipping the pen in the company ink" (which is a term that refers to potential financial ramifications of inter-office relations - doesn't apply at all here).

It means not to have sex with co-workers, due to the inter-office issues it can cause. I was trying to be brief and obviously used that expression as a way to explain the situation, as there is a correlation: Company is to group of friends as coworker is to someone within that group. I assumed you'd be intelligent enough to understand that.

Both of these things just seem to indicate you're very timid around girls.

....because I turned two girls down? Riiight....I totally get that logic! I would never consider myself to be "Mr. Suave"; but I know what I want, and if girl A is ugly and girl B doesn't fit my requirements of being single and trustworthy, than I don't see any issue. There's always girl B-Z.

Call me crazy, but it falls in line with a lot of what you post.

Call me crazy, but being an ass falls in line with a lot of what you post. The situation is really a non issue for me. You're obsessing over it and making it seem like a big issue because that would validate some ****ed up complex you have in your head that you know more about such things and have to bestow some secret knowledge on us little folk. But you are neither a wiseman nor correct in any assertion you have postulated about me.

Call me crazy, but it falls in line with a lot of what you post.

Because I mentioned a situation I didn't want to be a part of? Of because I prefer to enter relationships with as little baggage on either side as possible? Or because I look down on cheating? Oh, so a girl cheats on her bf, but if i just "talk.to.her." then she certainly won't have the capacity to cheat on me or anyone else? (And why would I talk to her if I have decided that I'm not interested?) You are clearly trying to make an issue out of some fantasy world where you know the inner workings of a internet poster whom you've never met. Good job!

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Spider-Who? you're fairly regular to threads like this, and this kind of hard luck post is not uncommon for you. Maybe I did jump to conclusions, but I mean I'm also not writing your posts for you either.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I harmlessly flirt with this older lady. She's kind of cute with a decent body, but I'm really not interested. Anyways she just gave me her Prince tickets she can't use, but now I can so to being nice.