Not-At-All-Original-Publications Presents: Spammers in Space!

[Batman]

...

I wanted the stripper.

 

[Mr Sparkle]

I said...and I quote "crap"

wooooo hoooo me!

 

[DBella]

I finally caught up with the last 3 chapters and as always, bored delivers! Totally enjoyed it, especially the dialogue between Cor and etm. So it looks like etm's power to drive people insane is useless against non-English speaking folks. We've found his weakness! But wait... that doesn't destroy him. :

Great job, bored!

 

[hippie_hunter]

Just what has happened to those who are "In the Madness?"

 

[enterthemadness]

Just what has happened to those who are "In the Madness?"

Doing several things.

Cleaning my spaceship.
Doing my taxes.
Spray painting ETM OWNS THIS PLACE, SUCKAS on the ship--that I am taking over.
And making me dinner.

 

[DBella]

Doing several things.

Cleaning my spaceship.
Doing my taxes.
Spray painting ETM OWNS THIS PLACE, SUCKAS on the ship--that I am taking over.
And making me dinner.

Don't you work for Master Bruce though?

 

[Batman]

I guess I'm immune to... The Madness.

 

[DBella]

I guess I'm immune to... The Madness.

You're his master so I'd assume that you should be.

 

[enterthemadness]

Don't you work for Master Bruce though?

I am? ...yeah, i guess I am. Why you ask?

 

[DBella]

I am? ...yeah, i guess I am. Why you ask?

I asked because I can.

 

[enterthemadness]

I asked because I can.

Poobs!

 

[DBella]

Poobs!

Eunuch!

 

[enterthemadness]

Eunuch!

 

[bored]

Corinthian's screams continued to fill the air.

Corinthian: Layla Miller only serve as cheap McGuffin to advance meandering plot! Bendis is El Diablo!

Abaddon: Cori?

Corinthian: So much pain. So much stupidity.

Dog Lips: My Space-Lizard, what's he looking at?

Abaddon: I think it's.... No. No! Run!

bored: Please, no more running.

He moaned as Dog Lips kicked at his sides.

Corinthian: Ayudeme, por favooooor!

Dog Lips: Huh? He's speaking Klingon again.

bored: *groan* Spanish, dude.

Dog Lips: Oh, yeah. Man, that's got to be hard. Abba, mercy-kill him, why don't you?

Corinthian: No! Just close this book!

Dog Lips: Alright, fair enough. Abba, get him unstuck from the wall and close that Xenu-forsaken excuse for a comic.

Much to Corinthian's relief, he was freed. Once Abaddon had taken his duct-tape off, he grabbed the hardcover graphic novel and raised it over his head.

Corinthian: NO. MORE. BENDIS!

He slammed it down over his knee, breaking it in half.



DBella: Tsunulia?

Tsunulia: Ailunust si ym eman.

Mr. Thing: Whoah. Cut that out, Tsuny. You know I don't speak Spanish.

Karem-Knight: I do believe that she is speaking Klingon, Space-Thing.

Mr. Thing: Really? Bah-roo-dakkah!

Tsunulia: .Rm Gniht si na toidi.

Holly Goodhead: Tsunulia, what happened to you?

Tsunulia: Gnihtyreve si sdrawkcab. Tahw eht lleh?

DBella: Tsuny, did enterthemadness get you?

Tsunulia: Saw taht sih eman? Eh dlot em I saw gniog ot retne... EHT SSENDAM!

Dbella: Yeah. I guess it made you talk backwards.

Tsunulia: Dna klaw sdrawkcab, oot.

Tsunulia tried to approach DBella, but went into the wall instead.

Tsunulia: Hcuo.

DBella: Have you seen anyone else? Has enterthemadness gotten them all?

Tsunulia: Woh eht kcuf dluohs I wonk? Fi uoy t'nevah deciton, M'i lla sdrawkcab ta eht tnemom.

Mr. Thing: This is making my head hurt.

Karem-Knight: Indeed. If we wish to speak with her, we must devise a language made entirely of palindromes!

Tsunulia: Ohw era uoy, yltcaxe?

Holly Goodhead: We're still trying to figure that out, Tsuny. I don't think it matters.



enterthemadness: Look into your heart. You know it to be true.

J Alba's Lover: No.

enterthemadness: Yes. "P.U.N.K.S." was a stupid kids movie!

J Alba's Lover: How dare you speak of a book of The Alba like that!

enterthemadness: Come on, man! Dennis f'ing Quaid was in it! Nothing he comes near can be of high quality!

J Alba's Lover: The Alba counters all. I will not be swayed!

enterthemadness: She was, like, fourteen when she did that movie, you fool! I could understand "Idle Hands", or something like that, when she was older, and she got hot, or hell, even that Nineties version of "Flipper" she was on, because yeah, she was young, but at least she was wearing a bikini alot, so if you're a perv, I can at least understand the appeal in that, but dude, "P.U.N.K.S." ****ing sucked!

J Alba's Lover: No! Noooo!!!!! Alba protect me!



Meanwhile, in Hollywood...

Jessica Alba: Why did I ever do that crappy-ass "P.U.N.K.S." movie when I was a teenager? I mean, it's not like I was so desperate for work, but whatever. At least I didn't pass up "Sin City 7: Strippers on a Plane", otherwise I'd have never won the Oscar.



enterthemadness: You are helpless, silly monk. You are vulnerable to my power!

J Alba's Lover: Stop, please!

enterthemadness: Two things. First, I'm taking your stack of Maxims. Second, I need you to kindly enter... THE MADNESS.

 

[Mr Sparkle]

enterthemadness: Two things. First, I'm taking your stack of Maxims. Second, I need you to kindly enter... THE MADNESS.

you made me LOL everyone at the office was like "what?" and there was no way they would get the joke so I had to make one up on the spot.


It didn't go well.

 

[enterthemadness]

you made me LOL everyone at the office was like "what?" and there was no way they would get the joke so I had to make one up on the spot.


It didn't go well.

Good chapter.

I imagine the situation didn't go well when they heard of JAL.

 

[bored]

Zev: There is unusuality at this intersection of coloring.

Hippie Hunter: Clowns. Clowns. CLOWNS! Clowns.

The Squirrel: Babble babble babble.

J Alba's Lover was dumped off in the room with the others who had been attacked by enterthemadness.

J Alba's Lover: It'snottrueit'snottrueit'snottrue...

enterthemadness: A good day's work. Now, what ever happened to that cute girl in the maid outfit?

Jaguarr: Where did all my hairz go?

Jag

enterthemadness: Oh, you just go look for them, Mr. Jag.

Dread: I am Henry the Eleventh I am/ Henry the Eleventh I am I am! Stupid bleeding-hearts.

enterthemadness: Note to self, do a telethon for that one's blood disease. It's so annoying.

Elijya: Who the hell are you?

enterthemadness: What's this? People I've missed? Oh well, I suppose I've still got work to do.

Malice: Work?

enterthemadness: Yes.

Malice: What kind of work?

enterthemadness: Well, my current task is to drive all aboard this inexplicably mobile space station to the depths of... MADNESS.

Malice: How's that gone?

enterthemadness: Rather well, it seems. These people are among those I've done my work on.

Malice: So, you're pretty task-oriented, then?

enterthemadness: But of course.

Malice: You enjoy doing your job?

enterthemadness: Very much.

Malice: You, um, you want a job?



Meanwhile, on the space-ship of Master Bruce...

Master Bruce: I feel as if something is going wrong.

FunBobPants: Regarding enterthemadness and the Earthlings, sir?

Master Bruce: Huh? No, no, this masseur isn't getting the knots out of my back at all.

Kmack: Really? Well, how about if I do it like this?

Master Bruce: Yaaaaarrrrgghhh!!!!! Yeah, that's better.

 

[Mee]

t:

 

[Batman]

...Kmack is my masseur?

...

Rockage.

 

[Swordmaster]

...I never wanna hear MB go "Yaaaaarrrrgghhh!!!!!" again


Good job otherwise, though

 

[bored]

I'M DONE WITH FINALS! And to celebrate, here's the next entry:

-----------------------------


Dog Lips: So, Corinthian, where did this enterthemadness guy go?

Corinthian: Oh, he, he go to the docking bay, you know. Where he first came to the station.

Dog Lips: Well, I guess we'd better check that out.

bored: And what will we do when we're there?

Dog Lips: I don't know. Give him a stern talking-to?

Corinthian: Make him read stupid Bendis! That mean no "Daredevil"!

bored: Are you Mexican, or a Chinese stereotype?

Corinthian:

Dog Lips: Alright, bored, Corinthian, come with me. Abbadon, go see if you can find DBella and everyone that was with her.

Abaddon: And Twylight.

Dog Lips: Dude, seriously.

Abaddon: What?

Dog Lips: You know.

Abaddon: What? She might go for me.

bored: Abba, can it wait?

Abaddon: Love doesn't wait. Neither does shallow infatuation with someone you've only known a relatively short period of time.

Dog Lips: GO!



enterthemadness: So, what kind of benefits would this employment include?

Malice: Well, there's no dental, but we've replaced that with a life-long subscription to "Cat Fancy".

enterthemadness: Intriguing.

Elijya: And you could become famous.

enterthemadness: I am feared throughout the universe.

Malice: For making people enter... THE MADNESS?

enterthemadness: No, I've only achieved cult status for that. I'm the mightiest beer pong player since the Great Emperor John Belushi, may his spirit rest peacefully.

Elijya: Hey, watch what you say about Belushi.

enterthemadness: I do not blaspheme. I am not at that level.

Elijya: Good, cuz I wouldn't want you offending anybody's beliefs here. We already have lots of ways of doing that.

Zev: ChigachiGA!

Elijya: Is he going to be alright?

enterthemadness: If I choose, yes.

Elijya: Can you choose?

enterthemadness: I am not yet under your employ, Captain Elijya. By the way, there is a dying actor lying about somewhere. You truly must do something about him.

Malice: Oh, you mean Data?

enterthemadness: I believe it was Brett Spiner, of "Star Trek" fame, who once portrayed a character named Data.

Malice: How do you know that if you're an alien?

enterthemadness: We have sci-fi in space, too, you know. Except for us, it's just regular fiction! Bwahaha!

Malice: Oh, now you're gloating. Not cool.




Master Bruce: I grow weary. Lieutenant, check on enterthemadness's's's's progress. S's's. Damn names that end with 's'.

FunBobPants: As you command.

FunBobPants pressed a button, and opened up a line of communication with enterthemadness.

FunBobPants: Enterthemadness, this is FunBobPants. Report on your progress immediately.



Malice: Well, are you going to answer that?

enterthemadness: You would not want me doing that. They will be very angry if I switch employers.



FunBobPants: Etm?



enterthemadness: Things are, um... going well, Lieutenant Pants. I have driven many to the depths of... MADNESS.



FunBobPants: But not all?

Master Bruce: I am outraged!



enterthemadness: Please do not be alarmed, Master. Some of them are hiding. In the women's restroom.



Master Bruce: Those sneaky Earth-fiends! I will annihilate them myself! Enterthemadness, you're job is done! Leave that vessel so that I may destroy it!



enterthemadness: Oh.

Malice: Well, crap.

 

[Batman]

VICTORY SHALL YET BE MINE!

 

[enterthemadness]

two pretty good chapters, Bored. Keep up the work.

 

[Mr Sparkle]

I like how Abaddon Is Abba.
his theme song should "dancing queen" I'll picture that whenever he comes into scene.

 

[Abaddon]

Why can't I ever be referred to as "the Don"?