*Official* Relationship Advice Thread Strikes Back

[Optimus_Prime_]

How is this even a question?

The answer is obvious.

I've seriously considered telling people to do just that online.

 

[terry78]

When binding a woman, always go UNDER the boobs first. Rookie mistake.

 

[S.A.A.D.]

First time I made it with one of my ex's, she queefed in my face, and it blew the hair out of my eyes,.

LOL. I'm so sorry,now because of this,I don't know if I'm going to be okay at work for 4 and a half hours.

 

[TimBisley]

Was it misty?

 

[Prison Mike]

[YT]5aS3_vGlL_Q[/YT]

 

[Aesop Rocks]

Heard DAT.

 

[Prison Mike]

We can all learn a thing or two from Mad Men.

 

[Erzengel]

I'd love to have an Office Manager like Joan.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

I'd like to have an office like Joans.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I tried being the nice guy around girls , but that didn't work out so well. Then I played the ******* , but that didn't work either. Now I merged the two together and no go there so far either.

I hate myself so why would I want to be me ?

Here's why you aren't dating anyone right now. Nobody wants to date someone with such low self esteem. Also, you're trying to be someone you're not, playing a game, being what you think they want to be.

Once you learn to be comfortable with yourself and in your own skin, perhaps get a hobby and don't put on an act girls will find you more attractive and want to date you more.

 

[Anubis]

And if that doesn't work, there's always hookers.

 

[Erzengel]

And if that doesn't work there's always real dolls.

 

[Anubis]

Or pie.

 

[Scourge2099]

And if that doesn't work there's always real dolls.

Or pie.

I'm not the King of England man. I can't afford to buy a Real Doll. Pie sounds.....interesting though.

 

[Bruce Banner]

Feels weird asking for advice. Then again its probably better asking you guys for advice since you can give a more honest/critical answer without being askewed by actually knowing me and feeling need for restraint.

Spoiler

I have posted in on this thread before mentioning my phobias of vulnerability and I constantly withhold information about myself.

I started seeing a old friend earlier this week, her and I used to work together. She is a very well rounded person, she also has a rather genuine "innocent" vibe about her. Her and I have been single for a long enough period that we both pretty much been accepted as the constant single friends.

While we may get along, I feel deep down this is nothing more than us filling empty gaps in our lives. She is pleasant to be around which in turn makes me act rather pleasant, and for years its been that way. I feel as though she has never heard from anyone else about how cynical and world weary I actually am.

Should I start damage control now before anything progresses? Or should I just continue and let the chips fall where they may?

 

[Anubis]

If she finds out, you're, "cynical and world weary" (whatever that means) you could always say being around her makes you feel all warm and squishy or something less corny.

 

[Erzengel]

So just so we are all on the same page, you just started dating this girl who've you've been friends with for a while, and you're worried that her optimistic almost naive outlook may clash with your pessimistic, glass half empty outlook?

 

[Aesop Rocks]

I smell a sitcom!

 

[Bruce Banner]

So just so we are all on the same page, you just started dating this girl who've you've been friends with for a while, and you're worried that her optimistic almost naive outlook may clash with your pessimistic, glass half empty outlook?

Thats sums it up well I guess. My overall outlook is alot more morose than that. I hold back from letting all that out because its never gonna work in my favor on revealing that.

She is refreshing to be around because she is outside of my normal social circle. Never mentions anything that could get me pissed. I think she has to be aware of my disposition though. She isn't really naive, just very normal/well balanced.

I smell a sitcom!

Are you nuts?

 

[Wolfwood]

I have to meet my ex today to trade stuff with her. I feel like I'm having a panic attack. Our last meeting did not go so well. This girl has such a grasp on my psyche, she knows just how to make me feel like ****. Thankfully, after this, it should be the last time we meet.

MAN....

Sorry, I'm just blowing off steam. I've been venting and stressing all day.

 

[S.A.A.D.]

I have to meet my ex today to trade stuff with her. I feel like I'm having a panic attack. Our last meeting did not go so well. This girl has such a grasp on my psyche, she knows just how to make me feel like ****. Thankfully, after this, it should be the last time we meet.

MAN....

Sorry, I'm just blowing off steam. I've been venting and stressing all day.

I think that you should get someone to do it for you,if possible,and just for your safety.

 

[Wolfwood]

Well it isn't that bad, but it's just....One of those things I'd really rather not do. You gotta face your demons though and she's mine lol.

 

[Anubis]

Would you like some schematics for a time released stink bomb?

Nothing says "I hate you b***h!" like the smell of skunk anus exploding in her face.

 

[ComicChick]

Well it isn't that bad, but it's just....One of those things I'd really rather not do. You gotta face your demons though and she's mine lol.

bring a friend.

 

[Wolfwood]

The stink bomb is brilliant. I've giving her her USB, maybe I could erase everything on it or better yet, put a virus in it! Nah, I'm not a dick like that....

I should've told a friend to come over. Oh well. Just gotta man up!

She'll be her in ten minutes, now I'm just anxiously watching the clock lol.