*Official* Relationship Advice Thread Strikes Back

[S.A.A.D.]

Talking to women is really hard if you ask me,if it's not because of just a lack of interest in the discussion at hand,then it's the P.D.D doing it's work or both of them.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I don't intend on actually changing(for their benefit),I want to communicate to them that I am not that bad,it is their problem that I am not formulaic enough(lots of chicks love those guys imo). I like keeping it real,well for the most part that is. I don't have legit friends. The relatives thing is out of the question.

You forgot to blame Canada, whenever something isn't your fault and you're blaming other problem for your problems, Canada has to be included.

 

[uchiha_itachi]

Is it weird that instead of going for this really nice girl at my work who likes me and we get on really well and have a similar sense of humour,that I would rather wait and see what may happen with a girl my mate is trying to set me up with, who I met once and has something about her that's I dunno, different?

The only was I can describe it is she has a sort or energy/aura? it sounds really stupid I haven't really come across something like that before...but there's honestly just some sort of vibe I guess you could say..I dunno lol

 

[Anita18]

Well this is going to come off as harsh, but you spent the last what 12 years of a dating age, doing what you are doing now and that's not working for you. So you are saying it's everyone else and not you? Talking to women is not that hard. Usually on a first date, I always keep the conversation on them and interject every so often. Call it formulaic or silly games. It's just how it is.

Talking to people isn't that hard, judging if/when there's actual mutual attraction is.

And yeah, don't fake your personality, but do try other avenues to meet new people. What you're doing now obviously isn't working. You aren't going to meet girls if you don't go out to meet people at all. Miss Right isn't going to show up randomly at your doorstep, especially if she's gonna be a fellow hermit as well.

Is it weird that instead of going for this really nice girl at my work who likes me and we get on really well and have a similar sense of humour,that I would rather wait and see what may happen with a girl my mate is trying to set me up with, who I met once and has something about her that's I dunno, different?

The only was I can describe it is she has a sort or energy/aura? it sounds really stupid I haven't really come across something like that before...but there's honestly just some sort of vibe I guess you could say..I dunno lol

No, it sounds good, just run with it.

 

[uchiha_itachi]

Fair enough will do! lol

I am slightly concerned I have a pattern of going after what I can't have...but whatever lol

 

[AndThePickles]

That is a bad habit for a lot of people, so watch out for it in the future if you notice it becoming a trend.

 

[S.A.A.D.]

Talking to people isn't that hard, judging if/when there's actual mutual attraction is.

And yeah, don't fake your personality, but do try other avenues to meet new people. What you're doing now obviously isn't working. You aren't going to meet girls if you don't go out to meet people at all. Miss Right isn't going to show up randomly at your doorstep, especially if she's gonna be a fellow hermit as well.


No, it sounds good, just run with it.

Oh well. It's not the only way to meet them,and secondly,I am not expecting Miss Right to show up at my doorstep out of randomness. I can't just go out to meet a bunch of people just so I can meet girls,there has to be more to that strategy to make it worth while enough,even if I don't intend on doing that at all.

 

[Frodo]

Oh well. It's not the only way to meet them,and secondly,I am not expecting Miss Right to show up at my doorstep out of randomness. I can't just go out to meet a bunch of people just so I can meet girls,there has to be more to that strategy to make it worth while enough,even if I don't intend on doing that at all.

Well, it's like this: You're probably not gonna met miss right if you're looking for her. Chances are, she'll come along when you don't expect it or when you're not looking . However, it doesn't hurt to put yourself out there and meet people and have a good time . The key imo is not to worry about it and not to make it a stressful thing. If you go into it with that mindset , you'll find it easier to talk to women .

 

[Anubis]

Or you could go get yourself chemically castrated. Should make things much easier and lets be honest, you aren't using your balls anyway.

 

[S.A.A.D.]

Or you could go get yourself chemically castrated. Should make things much easier and lets be honest, you aren't using your balls anyway.

I have no invisible balls because imo,women are still so damn narrow minded when it comes to choosing guys that they perceive as worthy,this doesn't help provide me with more of a sense of confidence. If I was one of those really worthy and really normal guys,I would definitely have these special balls,but I am neither of those things. That would make me think that my chances are better. I will take responsibility for things(if necessary),but for most things in my situation? No I will not,when it comes to women.

 

[Anubis]

Ugh, this is Immortal all over again.

 

[S.A.A.D.]

Ugh, this is Immortal all over again.

No it isn't,you just can't comprehend how I feel,that's all. But whatever on the other hand,I'm just going to continue to pretend that this situation doesn't bug me a whole lot.

 

[Anita18]

Oh well. It's not the only way to meet them,and secondly,I am not expecting Miss Right to show up at my doorstep out of randomness. I can't just go out to meet a bunch of people just so I can meet girls,there has to be more to that strategy to make it worth while enough,even if I don't intend on doing that at all.

That's why I keep mentioning the online dating thing. It works especially well for people who don't want to go out and meet random people just so they miiiight meet someone to date. You know exactly what the other person's there for, there's no does-she or doesn't-she.

I have no invisible balls because imo,women are still so damn narrow minded when it comes to choosing guys that they perceive as worthy,this doesn't help provide me with more of a sense of confidence. If I was one of those really worthy and really normal guys,I would definitely have these special balls,but I am neither of those things. That would make me think that my chances are better. I will take responsibility for things(if necessary),but for most things in my situation? No I will not,when it comes to women.

This was almost exactly what I read on a female-oriented forum, except it pertained to guys being shallow and not wanting girls that weren't hot.

Truth is, you can't generalize such a large segment of the population like that. Sure SOME women and men are shallow, but you can easily find others that aren't. I can't think of any girls or guys I know who are shallow like that, but then again I work in an intellect-heavy field and we're all hippies anyway.

 

[S.A.A.D.]

That's why I keep mentioning the online dating thing. It works especially well for people who don't want to go out and meet random people just so they miiiight meet someone to date. You know exactly what the other person's there for, there's no does-she or doesn't-she.


This was almost exactly what I read on a female-oriented forum, except it pertained to guys being shallow and not wanting girls that weren't hot.

Truth is, you can't generalize such a large segment of the population like that. Sure SOME women and men are shallow, but you can easily find others that aren't. I can't think of any girls or guys I know who are shallow like that, but then again I work in an intellect-heavy field and we're all hippies anyway.

I think that it's true based on my personal sight and sound senses,I didn't say that every woman was like that. Only the people in the minority can get it right,I know women and men are shallow,but it's not what I was actually just touching on. I was just touching on the type of guys they are attracted to because of their preferences such as looks,interests,dislikes,character size,and lastly personality traits.

 

[Erzengel]

Is it weird that instead of going for this really nice girl at my work who likes me and we get on really well and have a similar sense of humour,that I would rather wait and see what may happen with a girl my mate is trying to set me up with, who I met once and has something about her that's I dunno, different?

The only was I can describe it is she has a sort or energy/aura? it sounds really stupid I haven't really come across something like that before...but there's honestly just some sort of vibe I guess you could say..I dunno lol

You can't help who you click with. Call it instant attraction, whatever.

Lastly, who says you can't date both? See who you like better and who you connect with more then make an informed decision?

 

[Erzengel]

Oh well. It's not the only way to meet them,and secondly,I am not expecting Miss Right to show up at my doorstep out of randomness. I can't just go out to meet a bunch of people just so I can meet girls,there has to be more to that strategy to make it worth while enough,even if I don't intend on doing that at all.

Yeah, but you don't want to go out with a bunch of people and be the sullen, creepy guy who never says anything. You have to interact with people and kinda show them who you are.

I think that it's true based on my personal sight and sound senses,I didn't say that every woman was like that. Only the people in the minority can get it right,I know women and men are shallow,but it's not what I was actually just touching on. I was just touching on the type of guys they are attracted to because of their preferences such as looks,interests,dislikes,character size,and lastly personality traits.

You sound like so many guys who seem to blame the gender for the hand they are dealt instead of looking inward. You are aware of your shortcomings (we all have them) but you seem to expect prospective women to bend and make it convenient for you.

Like I said earlier, talking to women isn't hard. But dating is. And you seem to have unbendable principles of how women should be based on very little personal experience. Watching a football game is a lot different than actually playing it. You have to throw yourself in the mix. And even if things don't work out, you use what you learned the next time you come into a similar circumstance.

 

[S.A.A.D.]

Yeah, but you don't want to go out with a bunch of people and be the sullen, creepy guy who never says anything. You have to interact with people and kinda show them who you are.


You sound like so many guys who seem to blame the gender for the hand they are dealt instead of looking inward. You are aware of your shortcomings (we all have them) but you seem to expect prospective women to bend and make it convenient for you.

Like I said earlier, talking to women isn't hard. But dating is. And you seem to have unbendable principles of how women should be based on very little personal experience. Watching a football game is a lot different than actually playing it. You have to throw yourself in the mix. And even if things don't work out, you use what you learned the next time you come into a similar circumstance.

Well it's not like I go around harassing them,or as if I say bad things to them,I just remain nice to them. You're right about the football thing. I know that I would have to throw myself in the mix,but it doesn't mean that I can't choose not to,I'm not women's babysitter. Nor do I want to be. I can see how I would be making a mistaking,but on my side of the offence I don't see it at all,I'll own up to it if I attempt to go in pursuit of some chick. It would lead me to making a mistake,if it doesn't lead me to possibly make a mistake. I don't have always have a problem with admitting my mistakes.

 

[Anita18]

I think that it's true based on my personal sight and sound senses,I didn't say that every woman was like that. Only the people in the minority can get it right,I know women and men are shallow,but it's not what I was actually just touching on. I was just touching on the type of guys they are attracted to because of their preferences such as looks,interests,dislikes,character size,and lastly personality traits.

See, you're still presuming what women would and wouldn't be attracted to. There's a person for everybody, you just have to smart in going about finding him/her.

 

[Erzengel]

I'm not women's babysitter. Nor do I want to be. I can see how I would be making a mistaking,but on my side of the offence I don't see it at all.

You are making sweeping generalizations about women. They aren't some sort of alien species. (I've checked.) You seem to have some preexisting opinions of how women are and I'll be honest with you, for the most part you are way off. If all you know of women is stuff you read or watch or just observe and not from actual interactions, yeah you are way off.

 

[S.A.A.D.]

See, you're still presuming what women would and wouldn't be attracted to. There's a person for everybody, you just have to smart in going about finding him/her.

Ugh,yeah. I disagree,some people are super picky,while the rest aren't.

 

[S.A.A.D.]

You are making sweeping generalizations about women. They aren't some sort of alien species. (I've checked.) You seem to have some preexisting opinions of how women are and I'll be honest with you, for the most part you are way off. If all you know of women is stuff you read or watch or just observe and not from actual interactions, yeah you are way off.

I see. Of course I have preexisting opinions,who doesn't? I wasn't born today,or yesterday. Some people only think different,because they don't suffer like me,hence some of the disagreements that I have had with others in this thread. All of it is only meant to reflect my perception. Everyone isn't exempt from a particular and common pattern,if someone wants to look for it,they can find it if they don't already realize it. The bottom line is that,I am aware that not all women are 100% the same as one another.

 

[uchiha_itachi]

You can't help who you click with. Call it instant attraction, whatever.

Lastly, who says you can't date both? See who you like better and who you connect with more then make an informed decision?

Yeah that's one way to put it. Intense instant attraction maybe a lil more fitting.

see that's true, thing is I hate breaking things off with people, specially when there really nice lol

any tips for that one?

I might date both...thing is I would actually feel like I'm just dating the girl at work until I get another chance to meet my friends set up...I'm waaay more attracted to the mates girl than the one at work aswell.

 

[Erzengel]

Yeah that's one way to put it. Intense instant attraction maybe a lil more fitting.

see that's true, thing is I hate breaking things off with people, specially when there really nice lol

any tips for that one?

I might date both...thing is I would actually feel like I'm just dating the girl at work until I get another chance to meet my friends set up...I'm waaay more attracted to the mates girl than the one at work aswell.

Just be honest or semi-honest. You aren't looking for a relationship OR if it is the girl you work with, tell her you had bad experiences working with someone you dated, etc.

 

[Hound55]

I look like a hobo AND I'm the single most awkward human being on the planet yet I'm with someone; if you people put in effort there IS hope.

So many people on here... it reminds me of that old joke.

A man's lived a tough old life, grinded and crawled through the muck to make a decent wage for about 40 years and he's had enough, his body's starting to run down on him... So before he goes to bed he prays. "Please God, just this one time. Let me win the lottery." Goes about his day, comes home even more tired and run down than the day before, so he prays again. "Please God... I know I asked you before, maybe you didn't hear me... Just please, let me win the lottery." Comes home next day. Bupkus. Still hasn't won anything. This keeps up for about a month, every night he prays - more and more desperate, telling more and more elaborate sob-stories with each night's prayer. Then one day, his body can't take the work anymore. He's done. Expired.

So his soul starts to drift up the golden escalator, he marches right up to the pearly gates, shows St Peter his ticket, pockets the stub with the rest of the soul-lint he's carrying about and marches up to God with an agenda.

"What's the deal old man?! I've been a good guy, I've led a decent life, I bust my arse and you can't cut me ONE break after a whole month of beggin' you. What the hell, man?"

And God just looks at him and shakes his head.

"Well what the hell did you want me to do..? Cut me some slack here, you never even bought a damn ticket..."



I just get the feeling more than a few people here don't go and buy themselves a ticket...

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I have no invisible balls because imo,women are still so damn narrow minded when it comes to choosing guys that they perceive as worthy,this doesn't help provide me with more of a sense of confidence. If I was one of those really worthy and really normal guys,I would definitely have these special balls,but I am neither of those things. That would make me think that my chances are better. I will take responsibility for things(if necessary),but for most things in my situation? No I will not,when it comes to women.

You're not taking responsibility though. You just believe women won't like you because you don't have some special quality. Everyone has something that makes them stand out, that makes them special. When I was dating, I made sure to put myself out there, did online dating, joined a co-ed sports team and a running club. In fact the only thing I felt really stood out on my online profile was the running club and that I was training for a marathon. My now girlfriend thought that was awesome and thought I was cute and started communication with me, we found so much we had in common and have been going out now for almost a year. You don't seem willing to give any woman a chance at getting to know you, you also seem to have lousy self confidence, which is basically repellent. Try to break out of your shell a little, try to find a hobby that will make you feel better about yourself, try online dating too, it does work. Also, practice what you preach and take responsibility for your shortcomings, you're young, you've got plenty of time to change them, you just have to work at it.

Yeah that's one way to put it. Intense instant attraction maybe a lil more fitting.

see that's true, thing is I hate breaking things off with people, specially when there really nice lol

any tips for that one?

I might date both...thing is I would actually feel like I'm just dating the girl at work until I get another chance to meet my friends set up...I'm waaay more attracted to the mates girl than the one at work aswell.

Do you think some of the attraction to the other girl is the mystery surrounding her? That you somewhat have to chase her, while the girl at work is more of a safe bet. When you actually have a chance to go out with the other girl you may find out one on one you have nothing in common.