*Official* Relationship Advice Thread Strikes Back

[Anubis]

What chu talkin' bout Willis?

 

[JStorm]

What chu talkin' bout Willis?

Obvious post is obvious, brah. My ex and I finally came clean with one another. No boobo.

 

[Anubis]

Clean about what? And what do ducks have to do with anything?

 

[JStorm]

Clean about what? And what do ducks have to do with anything?

We've been going back and forth for quite some time, **** just got brought out.

"Walks like a duck" has been my brother's mantra this entire time. In the past, when we would see each other - the ex and I - ambiguous is too much of a understatement, yet when kid brother talked through the events with me he would always say "walks like a duck."

Meaning. . if it's a duck. . call it a ****ing duck.


:greatwhitebuffalo:

 

[Anita18]

We've been going back and forth for quite some time, **** just got brought out.

"Walks like a duck" has been my brother's mantra this entire time. In the past, when we would see each other - the ex and I - ambiguous is too much of a understatement, yet when kid brother talked through the events with me he would always say "walks like a duck."

Meaning. . if it's a duck. . call it a ****ing duck.


:greatwhitebuffalo:

Your brother be wise.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

We've been going back and forth for quite some time, **** just got brought out.

"Walks like a duck" has been my brother's mantra this entire time. In the past, when we would see each other - the ex and I - ambiguous is too much of a understatement, yet when kid brother talked through the events with me he would always say "walks like a duck."

Meaning. . if it's a duck. . call it a ****ing duck.


:greatwhitebuffalo:

Inside jokes don't work if you're talking to people on the outside

 

[JStorm]

Inside jokes don't work if you're talking to people on the outside

What part of the cliché "if it walks like a duck, it's a duck" do you not understand?

If it's ":greatwhitebuffalo:," then there is no "inside" to the joke. . just a rental away: 'Hot Tub Time Machine.'

 

[Anubis]

Yeah, but that's usually applied to something that makes sense. Like, say, thinking somebody is pregnant cuz they look like they're pregnant. Looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a duck.

What you are talking about, is rather esoteric. I'm assuming he means that you two certainly seem to be together again because you certainly seem to act like you are. I mean, that is what's going on right?

 

[Erzengel]

Long story short, she came over and we outed everything. Like a ****ing planet off my chest. . . ****!!!! No sex; no games, we just talked, kissed a few times and then she fell asleep.

I hope things work out for you 2.

 

[JStorm]

Yeah, but that's usually applied to something that makes sense. Like, say, thinking somebody is pregnant cuz they look like they're pregnant. Looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a duck.

What you are talking about, is rather esoteric. I'm assuming he means that you two certainly seem to be together again because you certainly seem to act like you are. I mean, that is what's going on right?

Understood. I'm mostly playing off the assumption that most know what I am talking about, due to the previous post weeks ago. And I'm an ass that likes to write random comments that make sense to about five people.

I wouldn't use the term "together," as it's more of a re-feeling each other out. Pretty sure we will see one another again, and pretty sure things will be fine. But this woman means more to me than any past relationship. . so I will play it safer then usual.

I hope things work out for you 2.

Thanks, Erz. And to give you some credit, you were spot on about my assumptions in the earlier posts. When we spoke, she agreed that she thought I was thinking one thing and not another. . same fear I expressed to you.

She also commented on being careful, because she didn't want to make an ass of her self. . another issue I stressed that you caught.

Thanks for listening, mate.

 

[Anubis]

Well, good luck to you man. Hope everthing turns up Aces.

 

[Erzengel]

Understood. I'm mostly playing off the assumption that most know what I am talking about, due to the previous post weeks ago. And I'm an ass that likes to write random comments that make sense to about five people.

I wouldn't use the term "together," as it's more of a re-feeling each other out. Pretty sure we will see one another again, and pretty sure things will be fine. But this woman means more to me than any past relationship. . so I will play it safer then usual.


Thanks, Erz. And to give you some credit, you were spot on about my assumptions in the earlier posts. When we spoke, she agreed that she thought I was thinking one thing and not another. . same fear I expressed to you.

She also commented on being careful, because she didn't want to make an ass of her self. . another issue I stressed that you caught.

Thanks for listening, mate.

Well I'd advise you to take it slow. It's cool that you 2 didn't jump into bed right away because it seems you are making a conscious effort to do it right this time around.

 

[JStorm]

Well I'd advise you to take it slow. It's cool that you 2 didn't jump into bed right away because it seems you are making a conscious effort to do it right this time around.

Slow is the word, and we did speak on this. It was good to get it all out, and even better to see the look on her face: total vulnerability and affection.

I'm pretty sure I had the 'invitation' that night, but considering we've been playing chess so long, I think my mind was on full tilt and telling me to still play it cool.

To be honest, **** is still a bit ambiguous, because of the recency and considering we have a past. I'm actually feeling like I did in high school, not knowing when to call, when to ask if we can hang out, etc. Ten bucks says, just like last time, she is thinking the same about me.

 

[JStorm]

Well we went from ambiguous Thanksgiving trip, to that night she came over and we outed everything, to taking a day trip to see my mother - all under one week.

Kind of weird, yet kind of exciting.

 

[Erzengel]

Can I ask why it's weird? I mean you guys have been engaged previously. Isn't it like putting on an old sweater of sorts?

 

[JStorm]

Can I ask why it's weird? I mean you guys have been engaged previously. Isn't it like putting on an old sweater of sorts?

Because I thought we we're done for good. I'm sure the 'weird' will leave when things begin to take better form. Right now, we only just expressed ourselves aloud, kissed twice, and cuddled for five minutes. Like I said, nothing happened in the bedroom - hell we didn't even make out.

 

[lixdexia]

stormy, on behalf or everyone you talked to about this i'd like to say "TOLD YOU SO"

 

[JStorm]

stormy, on behalf or everyone you talked to about this i'd like to say "TOLD YOU SO"

Told me what? You predicted ****.

 

[lixdexia]

Told me what? You predicted ****.

predicted **** my ass. everyone told you to give it a go

 

[JStorm]

predicted **** my ass. everyone told you to give it a go

And it was well worth it, big guy!

 

[Eggyman]

Ok, so I've posted in here before, but normally giving than taking. Pay back.

I don't really care how I come across here, because I'll be the first to admit that this is a dumb problem that I should just stop worrying about.

Here's the thing: My missus works with her ex. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, I trust her and she has no interest in him. They're not friends and it wasn't a long relationship. They do have to work together and share the same area when going out for after work drinks, and that's when it bothers me. It's not that I think anything's going to happen because I wouldn't be with her if I did. I just feel weird when I think about it. It probably has a lot to do with me cutting exes out once they are... exes. It just makes my skin crawl that she's out with a guy who... remembers things about her. You get me?

It's not a massive deal. It's never caused problems. But I wish I could get rid of that weird feeling when she's out with work, having drinks with a guy who's penis used to be in her mouth.

It is a silly problem. It goes against everything I am. I'm a confident guy. She shows me she loves me in every way. I can see she's traded up. I just don't get it. Is this natural?

Any suggestions apart from 'Grow the fu** up'?

 

[JStorm]

Ok, so I've posted in here before, but normally giving than taking. Pay back.

I don't really care how I come across here, because I'll be the first to admit that this is a dumb problem that I should just stop worrying about.

Here's the thing: My missus works with her ex. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, I trust her and she has no interest in him. They're not friends and it wasn't a long relationship. They do have to work together and share the same area when going out for after work drinks, and that's when it bothers me. It's not that I think anything's going to happen because I wouldn't be with her if I did. I just feel weird when I think about it. It probably has a lot to do with me cutting exes out once they are... exes. It just makes my skin crawl that she's out with a guy who... remembers things about her. You get me?

It's not a massive deal. It's never caused problems. But I wish I could get rid of that weird feeling when she's out with work, having drinks with a guy who's penis used to be in her mouth.

It is a silly problem. It goes against everything I am. I'm a confident guy. She shows me she loves me in every way. I can see she's traded up. I just don't get it. Is this natural?

Any suggestions apart from 'Grow the fu** up'?

It needs to be said, but not verbatim: you need to lock it up!

If she caught wind of this it would jeopardize her trust of you. Conversely, if it really does bother you I would approach the situation as such: talk to her, tell her you think it's bogus, it just creeps you out. Approach it like you can care ****ing less, but stress that you don't enjoy it.

Once or two ways come of this. 1) She calls you a childish, selfish, insecure git. 2) She agrees and limits the after work social gatherings.

You know her better than we do, mate. Good luck.

 

[Erzengel]

It just means you're normal. I think most people if they could help it wouldn't want to be insecure or jealous but I think it just something inherent in all of us.

I have an ex, who now lives in Pittsburgh. Called me a few years ago, hey if it's okay with you and your current, I wouldn't mind seeing you. Erzette was okay with it. And it was strictly platonic, there was no hanky panky. However, Erzette did admit that since the ex lived far enough a way, seeing them every once and a while wasn't a big deal BUT if they lived in the same city and it was a constant thing, THEN it might become an issue.

However, I do have a question, why is there after work get togethers?

 

[Hound55]

Well, it looks like the obvious solution is to kill him and sell him in sections to the closest ritzy restaurant as an exotic kind of meat...

 

[Eggyman]

It needs to be said, but not verbatim: you need to lock it up!

If she caught wind of this it would jeopardize her trust of you. Conversely, if it really does bother you I would approach the situation as such: talk to her, tell her you think it's bogus, it just creeps you out. Approach it like you can care ****ing less, but stress that you don't enjoy it.

Once or two ways come of this. 1) She calls you a childish, selfish, insecure git. 2) She agrees and limits the after work social gatherings.

You know her better than we do, mate. Good luck.

Yeh I've already spoken to her about it. I was honest, told her it wasn't a big deal, but just wanted her to know that if I ever seemed a bit grumpy while she was out it's because I feel uncortable. She was really understanding and agreed that if we flipped it she'd probably feel a bit weird herself, BUT, she said that there wasn't a lot she could do about it. And I told her I don't expect her to do anything--I just wanted her to know that it does make me feel a bit weird sometimes, rather than it boiling over one day. I don't want her to limit her after-work activities. Not at all. This is my problem and I want to get past it. Like I said, it's not a deal breaker or anything. I'd just like to not feel weird about it. I even tried being friendly with one of my exes, or at least have a bit of contact... just to help me understand the other side. It did more damage than good as she started hinting at us... you know.

Thanks though, mate.

It just means you're normal. I think most people if they could help it wouldn't want to be insecure or jealous but I think it just something inherent in all of us.

I have an ex, who now lives in Pittsburgh. Called me a few years ago, hey if it's okay with you and your current, I wouldn't mind seeing you. Erzette was okay with it. And it was strictly platonic, there was no hanky panky. However, Erzette did admit that since the ex lived far enough a way, seeing them every once and a while wasn't a big deal BUT if they lived in the same city and it was a constant thing, THEN it might become an issue.

However, I do have a question, why is there after work get togethers?

You know, Friday night drinks after work. Christmas parties (tis the season), birthday drinks, leaving parties. That sounds a lot, but it isn't. Every few months she might go out after work or on lunch with them. She doesn't go out as much as she did, nothing to do with this, just because she prefers to spend her time and money with me. I do have, and I must stress, complete confidence in her. That's why it gets on my nerves how I can feel sometimes about this situation.


Thanks for the feedback though, me ol' mucca.