It's not like he went to New York to see Jean then went home the next day. He went to New York to see Jean, hooked up with his old pals, formed a new superhero team, and then decided that maybe it was time to ask his wife not to cut his nuts off in his sleep. God knows that even if Mads was still home when he got back, that marriage would've effectively been over.
the marriage should have never happen. They had issues and were fighting before Scott left and formed X-factor. That was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Lets face it, the only reason why he even hooked up with Maddie was bc she looked like Jean. Jean was his heart. He loved her immensely and was planning on marrying her. She dies and a few months later he sees her double. They marry within a few weeks. To me, it was always as if he was trying to pick up right where he left off with Jean. I dont think he ever really loved Maddie. He was faking himself
I thought she was wrong to make him leave the X-men. Ever since he was a teen, he lived and breathed Xavier's mission. The X-men was his life and leading and fighting for mutants was his passion. She never really accepted that. She was yelling at him and throwing fits when he kept finding himself drawn to them, but she knew that going into the marriage.
Then comes X-factor 1. When Warren called him and told him about Jean, he had to go see her. I dont see how he couldnt. If he didnt, it would be a dark cloud looming over him and his marriage to Maddie bc he'd always be thinking about Jean and Maddie would sense that and they'd both be miserable. Jean coming back brought back unresolved issues which he needed to deal with. Before he left, Maddie gave him an ultimatum. Either stay or leave and dont come back. He went to NY, but I dont think he felt she was serious; more like she was angry and needed time to cool down. In NY, he got swept up in the excitement of the 5 of them being reunited. It was like old times and when Warren presented the idea of X-factor, it felt right bc he'd be continuing Xavier's mission of helping and training young mutants which is what he always wanted to do.
To his credit, over the following weeks, he did try and contact Maddie numerous times. She did ignore his calls and she did avoid him. He left her to deal with her anger bc he felt she needed space and time. Unforuntely for both of them, when he did go back to Alaska, she went missing. As far as Jean goes, I think he genuinely was trying not to hurt her. He didnt try anything with her and he didnt lead her on. Like I said, he didnt handle things right, but he was caught between a rock and hard place. He was screwed no matter what he did. Its not his fault his life was manipulated by Sinister. It wasnt his fault his dead fiancee came back from the dead after he had married and fathered a child. Its not his fault he was psychicly influenced into leaving the X-men. So many imporant events in his life were orchestrated and manipulated by outside influences and he did do as good as he could considering all that was going on