SuperFerret
King of the Urban Jungle
- Joined
- Apr 2, 2004
- Messages
- 33,639
- Reaction score
- 6
- Points
- 58
Oh.
My.
God.
My.
God.
Oh.
My.
God.
You need to shut up.
The Character You would like to play: Serj Tankian
Character Bio: Serj Tankian is the lead singer of metal band System of a Down.
He is also AWESOME.
Character Photobase:
Sample Post (Must contain three paragraphs, one line of dialogue and wanton use of capital letters and exclamation marks) :
"Shut the **** up John, you spaggot."
Serj Tankian yelled as the drummer began to speak.
"I've had enough of your Elton John loving ass." Serj continued, his eyes filled with rage, his pupils dilated. "You love Elton John so much, why dont you marry him!?"
"Ha, his name would be John John."
"Shut the **** UP SHAVO." The singer screamed in the bald bassist's direction, causing his balls to shrink.
"I didn't even mention Elton John..."
"Quiet I'm calling for Pizza."
"What you talkin' bout, Daron", Gary Coleman, Bug's partner, frowned.
"You gonna hog all that blow?"
"Here", Daron said with a friendly smile, handing the knife with coke on the tip to Gary Coleman, "you want some?"
"TOOOOOOO ****ING BAD", Daron screamed as he plunged the blade in Coleman's throat.
"Well, I guess that's the game", Bugs shrugged as Coleman fell back out of his chair, dead, with the knife embedded in his throat.
"Oh, poor Gary", MJ frowned.
"He looks so peaceful...like a little boy sleeping in a puddle of strawberry syrup..."
Suddenly, MJ's eyes went wide with realization.
"Don't worry, Daron", he said as he got up and slung Gary Coleman's body over his shoulder.
"I'll take care of the body for you."
"Whatever, Jacko", Daron grinned as he *********ed to the queen of hearts card with a crazy look in his eye.
"Oh...uh...Daron", MJ called before stepping out the door.
"Where are...um, where do you keep your...ah..."
"Condomsareinthetopdrawer", Daron hastily said as he sped his stroke up to superhuman levels, making his body levitate centimeters off of the chair.
"Yay! Thank you, Daron", MJ closed his eyes and smiled as he reached into Daron's dresser drawer and pulled out a jimmy.
"Come play with me, Gary Coleman! Let's go play!"
Name: Batman
The Character You would like to play: Darth Vader
Character Bio: Bio? Bio?! He's Darth ****ing Vader! The most badass villain in the history of cinema, and the only one who's claim to fame is truly almost-ruler of the galaxy. He was once Anakin Skywalker, a whiny little b**** of a man who felt he deserved more power as a Jedi Knight than he really did. But whenever his limbs were cut off and he was burned alive on the volcano planet Mustafar, everything changed. Suddenly, he was angrier, crispier, and pissed off like no other. Add a darkly clad life support suit and a black man's voice into the mix, and you've just created yourself the baddest Sith Lord this side of Coruscant.
Oh, and he's your father. Try to sleep at night with that thought on your mind.
Character Photobase:
Sample Post(Must contain three paragraphs, one line of dialogue and wanton use of capital letters and exclamation marks):
Lord Vader walked onto the deck of the Millennium Falcon, having seized the craft a mere few hours ago. Accompanying him were close to ten Stormtroopers, all heavily armed and ready to kill. His cape behind him and flowing wildly, Vader stepped through the revolving door to the cockpit, and met his captives face to face: the scoundrel Han Solo, the temptress Princess Leia, the wookie Chewbacca, C-3PO, and his son, Luke Skywalker.
Vader looked at 3-PO closely, his hoarse breathing being the only sound he made.
"Hello, Master Anakin. I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations. It has been awhile since we've- OH!"
3-PO found a lightsaber jammed into his sternum, his circuits cracking and sparking from the stab. Vader unsheathed it, allowing the android to short-circuit to death. He watched as it did, silently, but calculating. Until it finally died. R2-D2 cried out in agony, which sounded more like random beeping, as the shorter droid shook violently back and forth.
"That takes care of one mistake,", Vader coldly stated, before turning to his captives. "But I am here to rectify another. This ship has just been made property of The Empire, and will become my very own personal transportation."
"Over my dead body, you mangy freak!", Solo shouted, producing a blaster. "No way am I gonna let you take her!"
Vader breathed in, unaffected by the threat.
"I was not requesting your permission, Captain Solo."
Holding out his hand, Vader began to choke the life out of Solo using only the dark side of the force, in full view of the horrified Leia, Chewie, and Luke.