*Crawls out of shallow grave I dug for myself*
Hey guys, I wanted to let you know that I spent last night chilling out and talking to the mods. I have come back, with their permision, to let you know how sorry I am. I let things get out of control, I realy did. I wanted you to know what I told them and what is true.
I wanted to let you know that I was right in the middle of making a post responding to Keyser Sose, who did a very good job of reminding me what was actualy at stake. I was writing a post asking to have my own thread deleted.......and right as I hit submit I found out that I was banned......and so I was to late to make up for my own mistake. It was realy kind of ironic how it happened. You see I was writing a pretty lengthy post saying how I was gona back down and take the hit on this one, not because I thought that my over all idea was wrong, but because I was going about it in the wrong way and I was playing directly into the hands of those that were trying to destroy me because I was angry.
Let me back up a little......while I do have a tendancy to get a little overheated when my toes are stepped on....yesterday was a little different. When I started posting yesterday I had a throbing migrane headache for over 6 hours now. I was in an extreme amount of pain behind my right eye, my vision was blurred and my left arm went numb about two or three hours after the headache started. I would have gone to the doctor but A. I don't have medical insurance yet,and won't until I have reached a six month mark with the company.....and B. I was at work. So the hype is the only thing I had to focus on in the meantime.
Unfortunatly I had been in so much pain that I didn't give a **** what I said or who I said it to. Hell, I told my boss to **** off right about that same time....lucky for me my boss is my dad.....and I think I still have my job.....I think, lol. He understands whats goin on, I'll be alright here.
I just wanted to apologise to you all. I mean I realy got baited bad, and on any other day I wouldn't ever let it get that far....I'm just realy not in my right mind today. Its was only after I talked to my best friend, Victor Creed as you know him here, that I was able to clam down and realize what just happened. I would like to say that I'm sorry to all of you. It did suprise me that it wasn't a probationary ban, but I mean I guess I deserved it either way. I just want a chance to make up for it. I havent been doin to well as it is for a while. I was sick all of last month and now when I think i'm over it this happens.
I can't belive I let the very people who were trying to play on my anger win. I am extremely disapointed in myself. All I ask if for the chance to redeem and explain myself to the people I have grown fond of here on the hype. I wish I had finished that post just a little sooner so you could have seen this before now and we didn't have to go through all of this trouble.
I really screwed up, I mean yea I think my original intent was right....in my opinion, but I definately could have done it in another way.
To Syn, you were right bro, and I'm sorry for not listening to you. I get now what you were actualy trying to say, but that came a little to late. I know that i have damaged my rep a bit around here, and for it I suffered the penalty of loosing the name Logan Howlett and all the posts that were attached to it. The mods said the only way i could come back was to start fresh with a different username......so naturaly I decided it was time to get back to my roots.
For all of you who were actualy trying to get me to realize what was going on and trying to help me, I apologise. I am man enough to admit when I'm wrong, and I'm sorry if I offended any of you.
Please know that I was in NO way asked to write this, that this comes from me and only me. There is no influencing factor at all and I am being as honest as I know how.
For those of you who were simply trying to get a rise out of me....it doesn't matter. You won....I'll give you that. You won. I admit, I was defeated and it was humiliating. I let my anger towards you get the best of me....for that I even apologise to you, because I probobly went over board.....however, do NOT try it again. I will have no shame in simply reporting every spitefull remark without saying a word to you myself. You wana mess with anyone than pick somebody else....I'm through. As for the rest, just know that there was more involved than just what you saw. Thats all I have to say about that.
Weig, thanks for keepin my character secured here, I'm glad you had faith that I might return. I am ready to go and hit the streets with you right away.....oh and I lOVED that sample post you did as Wolvie....I think I'll make my first post a continuation of that if you don't mind.
If there is anything else that needs to be adressed by anyone than please do it now and get it out of the way, but please lets keep it civil, as I said you won't get a confrontation from me anymore.....I'll simply log off, cool off, and report you when I come back. Savy?
Now.....for the final bit of info I have to share with you.....I don't want you to take this as an excuse, because its not.....I just want you to know what else helped to put me in the state I was yesterday....and the state I am still in. This is something I had not yet even told Victor Creed. Yesterday I found out that my ex-girlfriends brother, whom I knew pretty well, died in a car wreck in my hometown. He was driving drunk on the bridge over our lake and crashed into the back of a large truck, cutting him in half.....she is devestated and even though we have not been that close in some time it is taking a little tole on me.....Again this isn't an excuse, just something I am letting you know so that maybe you guys will not accidentaly joke about something in any relation that will get to me. Thanks.
Again, if you guys would like to know anything else just ask.....and if for some reason you NEED to scream at me....do it over PM.